Envied Mortality
by Delphina2
Summary: Haldir wants it all, he always has. The love and legacy of a large family and others to train who can take his place when he dies in glorious service to Eru. As confrontations arise and all he gains seems to be slipping away, he is increasingly ashamed of his vanity until he begins to see hope for his greatest desire of all: the healing of his brother Rumil's heart.
1. Anticipation and dread

**Author's Note: I am beginning a massive edit of this story. While it won't change in plot or character development, some details may be altered, so if you are beginning to read it now, along the way some things may seem a bit off. You can tell where I am in the process because I will put "Envied Mortality Chapter #...) at the beginning of the edited chapters**

**Reviews help me so much to know what my readers like and dislike, so if your read something I haven't edited yet, this would be a great time to please, let me know your thoughts so I can incorporate them! **

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><p><strong>Envied Mortality Chapter 1: Anticipation and Dread: 2980<strong>

**Part 1 ~Rumil**

For the better part of five days traveling, the three others in company had mercifully left Rúmil to his own disquieted grump. Even so, the closer their journey drew to its demise in Darkwood, the less tolerable he perceived Haldir's bliss. His brother's anxiousness to be joined with his beloved was not remarkable given the fifty years of anticipation, but Rúmil found it unforgivable that he unceasingly set everyone's attention to his obsessive focus.

"I have never been to a bonding ceremony before," Lemor said as he slowed his horse down to ride beside his unwilling target. "What Lord Haldir has described seems like a dream...but you are clearly unmoved. What do say I should expect?"

"To sleep well after," Rúmil murmured, "and perhaps, _during_, if providence smiles."

Lemor chuckled. "I always sleep well! Will _you_ will submit to slumber too, m'lord?"

Without an answer, Rúmil slowed his horse a touch to discourage more discourse. Lemor did not take the hint and followed suit.

"I know you did not want the duty, but I look forward to your part of the ceremony," the young elf went on. "I have prepared words to offer as well, if I should be given a moment to speak. I lack skill in writing so I have kept my blessing short."

"A wise decision," Rumil said, "Little said is better remembered."

Grinning, Lemor said, "Thank you for the encouragement, m'lord! You don't give it often, but when you do it is well felt and wise."

Haldir looked back from his position in lead and stopped his horse. When all four met him, he said to Rumil, "Take Feldor and scout ahead."

As he and the older of the two brothers dismounted, Lemor did not hide his disappointment at yet again not being selected yet for the task.

"This is the most dangerous leg of the journey, Lemor," Feldor explained softly. "Lord Haldir is staying with the horses to protect them, and he likes to keep you by his side because I am more skilled and can hold my own better if we are attacked."

"Neither of us has crossed swords with men," Lemor challenged in a whisper. "It is not the same as fighting orc... and Lord Rumil is sufficient enough with the sword to make up any difference between our skills... unless you are trying to say you are as superior to me as Haldir is to his brothers?"

As they went on back and forth, Rumil came to Haldir's side and his brother said quietly, "Remember when we used to argue over father's decisions? I never realized until how petty it was."

"At least we had the discretion not to argue in front of him," Rumil grumbled and then walked toward the ridge ahead. "Feldor, come," he said.

"Do you not want my instructions?" Haldir asked after him.

"I am sufficient enough," Rumil called back, endearing a smile from his brother.

"Lemor did not mean anything by what he said," Feldor began. "He does not understand how dear he is to Haldir."

"You are both dear to my brother," Rumil pointed out. "And you both made fair assessments of your skills and ours. It is better time spent hoping we never see such a battle than to argue the point... now fall silent or we may."

**Part 2 ~Darimathea**

"Dari!" King Bronian called out from across the garden.

Darimathea made like she did not hear her father and quickened her pace around the woody cathedral where a few elves in her path slowed her escape. She smiled as warmly as she could and meeting none of their eyes, she noted they were already primped for the ceremony. Her hope was that they would excuse her rush without attempting to converse, as she, the sister of the bride, was still wearing a sleeping gown.

Misfortune, however, did not loosen its grip on her.

"Look, my daughters," exclaimed Galadir, "our fair princess dashes through the morning as if the sun were chasing her!" She glanced up at his bright eyes and noticed his silver hair had been braided with tiny leaved garland.

Despite her having grown nearly his height, to the laughter of his two daughters, her elder swept her into his strong arms as he was always wont to do at the worst of time.

It was futile to refuse, but once satisfied her return embrace was sincere, he let her go. He looked upon the dirty state of her dress and checked his green silk robe with mock alarm.

"However do you attract filth so early in the day, elfing?" one of his daughters asked.

She folded her hands in front of her and he immediately took them and Galadir soothed, "She does not chastise, dear one, we are merely surprised."

Before she could response, from behind her she heard her father order, "Hold on to her, my friend, she has been running from me all morning!"

Her father's velvet robes swooshed around his legs as he caught up to the small company. First he addressed the others, "My eyes are blessed by the grandeur of this breath taking beauty! You three may very well succeed in outshining our fair Lorien guests!"

"We have done only as you requested, m'lord," the eldest daughter said, "to make ourselves exemplify the glory of our wood."

"We are glad you are satisfied," said her sister, beaming a grin to her own father.

"I am beyond satisfied!" Bronian laughed. To their father he charmed, "The bride may have a challenge to be the center of attention against your daughters, my friend!"

"Shall we mend that disservice and crumple ourselves a bit?" Galadir suggested.

"Do not tempt me to order it," Bronian answered with a wink. During his distraction Dari slipped away, moving quickly as she could down the path.

To her chagrin her father called after her, "Darimathea, for the love of all that is elven, come back here!"

Dari left the path to pass through a thick rose patch where her father's robes would be ruined. Ignored the tiny painful scratches and rips to her silk, she came through and then ran down the path to the baker's and up the porch steps to hide inside. There she was caught off guard by the young apprentice, Elhedel sitting at a butter churn.

His bare, muscular arms glistened as he quickly pounded the wooden rod, creating swishing sound that echoed within the chamber. Noting her presence, the he glanced up and a bead of sweat dripped from his furrowed brow. She had witnessed the slaves of men in the Eastern tribes working with such effort, but it was very rare to see elves exhaust themselves.

As polite as he was industrious, Elhedel nodded a greeting which loosened a wisp of brown hair from its placement behind his pointed ear. Forgetting her haste, Dari stepped cautiously forward. With half a smile she gazed into his chestnut eyes, lifted her hand and gently secured the strand back to its place. She allowed her finger to linger just behind the tip of his point and hungrily studied his uncertainty of her intent. The rhythm of his work slowed to the pulse of a beating heart as his face grew flush.

Dari stared intently, searching his eyes. Elienne had described the elvish sign for attraction as a star which lights in the soul. Her sister had warned her that it could be awakened by either the gentle wooing of love or a sudden arrow of lust. But once it flashed, a bond-ready elf would become beholden to she who captured him.

Breathless Elhedel pleaded with her. "Dari… leave me… or your guests shall have only cream for the wedding reception."

He was so close, she could feel it, she had almost made him hers and his begging made her even more determined to conquer. Knowing the violation of it, she touched and then ran her finger purposely down the edge of his ear watching his eyes widen.

Footsteps on the cottage porch made her jump and Dari pulled her hand back, glancing to see her father. The butter making proceeded with even greater intensity.

"Do you fancy this elf?" her father asked. "Because I thought your wanted nothing to do with courting."

"I fancy his ability to butter my bread," she said defiantly.

Her father's green eyes narrowed at her with sudden judgment. "Then stay away from him," he scolded. To Elhedel he added, "It is a pity your father never taught you to defend yourself from the whiles of silly sprites. A sharp word or a cold shoulder is the only remedy for such seduction. If you ignore her she will grow bored."

As he gave his lesson, Dari rushed to the door and shoved through it into the kitchen.

The chef took a look at her attire and grinned. He lifted a basket from the counter and held it for her. She sighed with a smile and took it. Her heart full with gratitude, Dari kissed the elder on his cheek and whispered, "Thank you."

"You spoil my daughter before my eyes!" her father said coming up behind her. "I would rather the wine be sour, than my daughter encouraged in her misbehavior."

Dari stepped back toward the door as the chef explained, "She comes for Elienne's breakfast, there is no misdeed here."

Her father glanced at her and said, "Why did you not simply tell me this was an errand for your sister?" She said nothing and he sighed and asked, "Will you get dressed after you deliver, or will not at least one day present yourself properly?"

She only glared at him for his hurtful words.

"If I am being too indulgent, Darimaetha I will start punishing you... is that what you want?"

"Heed advice from an elder, my king," the chef said. "Indulging elflings rears generosity, not spoilage. Punishment will only make her more bitter... So much time have you spent with men to have forgotten such simple proverbs from our ancestors?"

"She is of age in a few months!" Bronian argued boisterously, "And if anything, Dari has exchanged her elven ways for that of men. She takes advantage of any kindness given her and behaves as the worst of their brats."

The accusation struck deep and to prove him right, she yanked the door open and then slammed it behind her, shaking the wall of the kitchen so that a breakable could be heard smashing to the floor inside. She cringed and glanced up to see Elhedel still pumping the butter churn, only his eyes had darkened towards her.

"What do I care what you think!" she snapped.

"If you did not care," he said with a smirk, "You would not have touched me as you did. I think you want me to love you."

Dari laughed and said, "I have no interest in you beyond your handsome face."

"So I am handsome?" he asked.

"For a servant," she said.

Stunned, Elhedel slowly stopped churning and then, staring at her, he stood and walked away from his work. She backed up a step as he stopped before her and removed his apron. After he hung it on hook behind her, he descended the steps.

"Where are you going? You have work to do!" she said, following him with her basket.

"No," he said. "You do, if you want your family and guests to have butter for their bread."

Walking after him she asked, "It is your job to do."

"My job?" he laughed. "My efforts today were a gift; your haughty entitlement to it disinterests me in continuing."

"You would do this to Elienne?" Dari asked.

"Elienne will not care," he said walking casually now, "Your father might… You should explain to him how you drove your servant to rebellion, perhaps he will arrest and execute me for starting a revolution."

"Elves don't revolt," she said. "Or execute, that is the way of men."

Elhedel stopped and turned to her. With a strange light in his eyes he said, "So is servitude… and seduction."

His closeness and arrogance overwellmed her and unable to restrain herself, Dari pushed him backwards, over a rock and he fell into the tiny creek that ran beside the path. Instead of becoming angry, Elhedel laughed at her.

"Whatever you said, it must have been a difficult truth, Elhedel," a passer by commented. "Do tell!"

"That is for the princess to know, I would not embarrass her beyond what she does to herself every day."

"Oh, come now, she is young, give her room to explore the paths of grace," the lady said, helping him out of the water.

Gripping the handle of her basket, Dari looked from one of them to the other, envying the kindness between them and feeling ashamed of her own behavior.

"I hate it here!" she snapped at them and turned, running toward her sister's cottage.

**Part 3 ~Rumil**

"Why would someone so young be left to fend for himself?" Feldor whispered. They were perched on the ridge looking down over a field where what appeared to be a wounded boy struggled toward a village miles away.

"The more violent a people," Rumil answered, "the more need for swift passage into adulthood. Such men's lives are more quickly ended by war than age or disease. They push their young to fill in for their dead fathers."

"Should we not help him so that he does not die by injury?"

"See how his limp changes each stop? The injury painful, but superficial. As his eyes are fixed ahead, he knows his way and is not lost or afraid. Interference is both unwise and unnecessary."

"The healing arts of men are not as reliable as elves. Left untreated, deadly infection may come upon mortal flesh. Even if it does not, with our healing he may avoid scarring or a life-long limp."

"Haldir taught you much about men, but your judgement is not tempbered by experience. We are not going to help, there is no benefit and too much risk."

"If elves availed themselves to the aide of men more often, perhaps there would be fewer battles between our two peoples."

His eyes gave testimony to the purity of his intentions and the determination of his conviction. "You hearts always pound with futile compassion," Rumil quipped, looking away down to the boy.

"Our Lady tells us to follow our hearts," he said. "My heart tells me I cannot walk away. Even if you forbid me, I will aid him. But I would perfer your help."

Galled by his decision Rumil quipped, "Would it suffice if I went alone, or is this a matter of heroics?"

"Truly, I only wish that he be helped, not that I be seen as noble."

Without a word, Rúmil slipped down off the ridge and into the field. He could not speak their language so he would not ask permission. He would overpower the boy, tend the wound and leave him with lembas. At least that was his plan.

Upon seeing an elf approach, the boy gasped, and shouted words strange to him. He shook his head and waved Rumil away, begging, it seemed, to be left alone. Ignoring him, he approached and examined the leg. The boy continued to repeat the words to him, but did not stop his work. His assessment and treatment happened simultaneously and when he was done he pointed to his sword and asked, "Were you struck?"

The boy intuited the question and nodded and then looked around him, repeating the words again and insisting, with more gestures that Rumil leave. The sound of heavy feat coming from the forest in front of him confirmed Rumil's building suspicion that the boy had been warning him. Rumil put his hand on his heart and bowed before turning and giving out the call of a crow to warn his companions to take shelter.

The men followed, but would not be able to catch him on foot. He glanced to see how many there were and called out again to indicate to Haldir it was under a dozen. He took to hiding and hoped that Feldor would stay on the ridge and not bring attention to himself.

**Part 4 ~ Elienne  
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"How is it that today you sleep so soundly when you should be full to the brim with anticipation?"

Dârimaetha's low voice broke into the calm of Elienne's rest as though she were calling from a much further distance than directly into her ear.

Elienne opened her eyes to see her sister's lovely face, their noses nearly touching as she lay beside her.

"Today is here," Elienne said in a reverent whisper. "I cannot believe it!"

Dâri smiled and said, "I brought you something to eat, but I cannot stay to enjoy it."

She pushed off the bed and Elienne sat up and saw she was wearing a worn and stained leather tunic and leggings with holes. Her hair was in unkempt, as was typical and there was a distinctive smell of horse on her.

"Why not?" Elienne asked her. "That was our plan, a final breakfast together..."

"I have decided I would rather take Sully to the border to meet the Lórien guests," Dâri said. "Our March Warden has given me permission to accompany his escort... when we return, I will dress for the ceremony."

Delicately Elienne asked, "Just yesterday we spoke on first impressions and decided you would be formally presented to my husband at the ceremony... what has changed your thoughts?"

"Your perceptive Haldir has already once had a fair princess attempt to hide her true nature from him. If he saw me in a fancy gown he might play along, but I will never fool him." She stuck her finger in the jam and then pulled it out and licked it. "This mess is more who I am than some dolled up princess."

"You are not a mess," Elienne soothed. When Dari looked away, she took her hand and now saw there were blood scratches on her arms. Ignoring it, Elienne went on, "You are as multi-facited as a gem, and it would take even Haldir a century to know every side of you." Dari met her eyes and Elienne added, "The few sides you show me, I love with all my heart, and soon my heart will be joined with his and he will love you too."

Dari swollowed and looked down. "But will he love me enough?"

Elienne could not answer and when Dari looked back up at her, fear returned to her sister's eyes and she quickly pulled away, fleeing out the door into the forest.

Sitting down, Elienne hoped that though it broke her heart, perhaps her sister's rash inappropriate behavior was exactly what Haldir would need to validate her concerns.

**Part 5 ~ Haldir  
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Once the men had given up their search, Haldir led his charges silently forward until they were in the relatively safe confines of Darkwood. It was clear to him that Lemor was as anxious as he to hear what exactly happened. He glanced at his brother and Rumil clenched his jaw before giving his admission.

"We fell for a trap," he said.

"The boy tried to give a warning!" Feldor added. To Lemor he said, "Rumil finished tending the young child's wound just before the men swooped into the field after him! I have never seen an elf run as fast as he did for cover; it was glorious how he left them behind, and then just vanished!"

"You tended what wound?" Haldir asked. When Feldor started to answer, Haldir held a hand up and said, "I would like to hear this from my brother, please." When Rumil refused to speak, Haldir asked, "I thought compassion for men was futile?"

"My compassion was for Feldor not the man child," Rumil argued.

Haldir did not prob further into the incident, guessing his pupil had instigated some sort of charity. He was decidedly impressed, both by Feldor's infectious passion as his brother's softening and tried not to smile too broadly. It had always been a secret hope that the youths would be a kind influence to his brother; and perhaps aid in the healing of his hard heart.

After several hours of traveling and a few songs to lift their spirits, Haldir and company fell silent again.

"Do you know any songs about being lost?" Rumil asked.

Once Lemor and Feldor were finished their chuckling at his expense, Haldir mused, "We are not lost, I am merely not choosing to go back out the way we came... yet."

He was about to give the excuse that the trees here were enchanged, when he heard a sound from above. Haldir pulled his bow and fitted it with an arrow before the figure in front of their party even touched foot on the ground. He was standing up in his stirrups, aiming steadily over the shoulder of Feldor on a horse in front of him.

"Welcome to Darkwood," a low female voice welcomed. "I do hope you decide not to waste an arrow on me." She raised her eyes from Feldor to look at Haldir. "It would not be a good omen to strike down your own sister!"

As soon as she said it, out of the wood all around them came Darkwood elves. Haldir put his weapon away and leapt from his horse approaching her. She stood almost as tall as his brothers and she was indeed as beautiful as Elienne had described. Strangely, her features were hollow; not at all full with the suppleness of youth.

"My sister," he said, his hands on his hips. "Thank you for the rescue, we thought we were lost."

With a flinch of a smile she answered, "Most visitors wait at the border and are not so bold as to enter these woods unaccompanied."

The Darkwood March Warden came beside him and asked in a rather annoyed tone, "I should think being a March Warden yourself you would honor my instructions and wait for our escort where I designated! No one can find their way in these woods unless the trees allow it."

"I received no such instructions or warning," Haldir said. "And there was an attack by men, so I would not risk lingering beyond your boarders, lest we be forced to destroy lives."

A look of fear washed over the young warden's face. "Were any in your party injured?"

"No, of course not," Haldir said. "It was our fault we were spotted, but they may have been expecting us."

The warden glanced at a few of his men and said, "My own brother left us half a year ago to take news safely to you. I know now why he did not return with you... he never arrived in Lorien."

"So you did not receive Elienne's last letters?" Dari asked. Urgently she spoke to her warden, "They fell into the hands of the Easterlings... or the orcs!"

"Likely not orcs or we would have seen a much different trap on our trail," Haldir reassured. To the warden he asked,"Do the men here know our language?"

"They know enough of it," Dari said. She was almost in tears as she lamented, "And now they will know Elienne meant to bring me home with you... they will be waiting for us!" She turned quickly and dashed off into the wood, the warden was too stricken to even watch her go.

Her words stunned them all but Haldir sought to first calm the grieved warden. "I am so sorry for your loss," Haldir said to him. "I could not bear to lose a brother of mine."

The warden took him aside from the others and spoke in a hush. "My terror is more that he may still be alive; these savages have taken our kind for slaves before. They have accepted our proposals of peace, but always with increasingly audacious demands. The state letters from Bronian to Elrond, Celeborn and Thranduil might reveal some of our misgivings to our tactics... Should these men want to know their contents, my brother would not have translated it no matter his own suffering. So if they knew of your arrival from the letters, I cannot imagine what they must have done to sway him. My only hope is there is another explanation."

Haldir's heart ached for the elf, he looked on Rumil and felt his own pain return to him. "I will speak with Lord Bronian on the matter, of a rescue. If there is anything I can do..."

"You can be married, m'lord," the warden insisted. "The ceremony has already been postponed fifty years and now again until tomorrow. I will not have Ellienne's wedding day spoiled with this worry. She is not to be told! My brother may very well have taken his own life before being captured and destroyed most of the letters. Or maybe they killed him. We simply have no way of knowing... Will you respect me in this matter and keep it from her, at least until after you are bonded?"

"What about Darimaetha, won't she say something?" Haldir asked.

The warden grew quiet and then answered slowly. "No one can predict what Bronian's youngest will do... I did not even know she meant to leave with you. If her father finds out it will not be pleasant. Keep that in mind, m'lord, she may cause all manner of chaos while you are here. Most of us have learned to overlook it, but it is an embarrassment to our king for certain. Elienne tried to warn you; I am sorry you did not get her letters."

"It is forgiven, and I shall share in your mourning this evening, if you allow me," Haldir said. The warden nodded and Haldir returned to his horse, his heart heavy with empathy and concern. As they all entered on foot into the mysterious Darkwood, he thought he could feel something odd from the trees here. As if they were watching, only without the anger and contempt of Fanghorn. Here there was decidedly more sorrow and much beauty.

"M'lord is the younger princess really coming home with us?" Lamer whispered to Haldir, loud enough for all to hear.

Haldir did not even acknowledge him, could not bear to explain the inappropriateness.

"M'lord?" he said louder.

"Someone has died," Feldor said to his brother, "It is not the time..."

Haldir glanced at Rumil who stared forward in his own thoughts. Everyone had riled against him for trying to save Rumil, even still some said it was not worth it for how little his brother enjoyed life now... but how a brother could abandon another to death or worse Haldir could never understand.

And in that moment, it occurred to him; how might Elienne be feeling about leaving her sister to the dangers of Darkwood? As that realization came upon him, along with Celeborn's message to Galadir, Rumil turned and met Haldir's eyes. He blinked and looked away, unable to bear the fury he saw brewing in his brother's dark suspicions. Even with the extension the youths had built onto their home, they had no room for another princess and all her belongings; and drama.


	2. Unprepared

**Envied Mortality Chapter 2: Unprepared**

**Part 1Rúmil**

_Ages discarded, regarded as worn_

_Trusting faith , unexpectedly torn_

_Hearts to bond mean bonds to break_

_Allegiance leans to convenience sake_

_Confessions once shared now secrets kept_

_From brothers to bride so easily leaped_

_Blood dissolved as water compared_

_Left for dust…_

The light clinking sound of Haldir's armor and foot falls entering the guest cabin truncated Rúmil's composition.

"Taking script at this hour?" Haldir mused. "What elusive thought has inspired need to capture it on parchment mere moments before I am bonded?"

Haldir approached, as usual being more curious than courteous. Rúmil considered the cost of honesty but found it futile to cover his work and instead wrote the last word to complete his prose as his brother read over his shoulder.

…_unprepared._

Haldir backed away with a sigh and leaned slightly against the bedframe. "You would have me enter the ceremony with that weight upon my head?"

"I took to script precisely to spare you."

"If you felt this way, why not simply seek to clarify your new role in my confidence?"

Rumil lifted the parchment and began to wave it to dry the ink. Gazing up at his brother dressed more as a warrior ready for battle than a groom for bonding. With chagrin, Rumil explained, "If an opinion is not sought, anything but silence is presumptuous."

Haldir strummed his fingers against the wood, as if measuring his words before speaking them.

"Maybe it will sooth you to know that I am here to inquire your thoughts on a matter," he started. Rumil gestured for him to go on. "I am at odds with myself regarding Elienne's anticipated request regarding her sister. I want what my bride wants, naturally, but also what is the best for the situation. None know better than you my propensity to take on too many tasks... If I could not do it alone, what would you think of Darimaetha returning home with us?"

With dark grief, Rumil had assumed that as with everything else regarding this match, Haldir's decision was already made. Now given the opportunity to sway his brother from such a torturous change to their lives, he felt ill-prepared for the task.

The wedding bells tolled out in courtyard and Haldir raised his voice and pressed him earnestly, "I have no time to mine your counsel, Rumil..."

"There is only unkindness in the caves of my heart," Rumil said and rolled the parchment.

"And yet the perception and discernment that lies there I covet as mithril. Your unfiltered sharp words are the greatest treasure I have when lost in the fog of my own compassion..."

Haldir stood and came to him, taking a knee beofer him. With his hand over his heart, he bade, "As I sought your voice in taking on Feldor and Lemor, I so too need your vision and support in this matter." His eyes fell on the parchment in Rumil's fingers as he added, "If anything, you are abandoning me with that presumption."

"Cease your needless dramatics," Rúmil scolded with a smirk. He tucked it into his robe's breast pocket and said, "I am merely filtering my own fog."

Just then, voices outside both anxious and joyful called in, "Lord Haldir, come! It is time!"

"We will come when we come, I must speak with my brother," he answered.

The two young ladies and their elf companion seemed taken back, but witnessing himself placed in such a priority in this moment, Rumil's wound was repaired of the affection it was leaking for his brother.

He did his best to be fair.

"The matter is not suitable to be left to the shallow whims of a young princess, nor your need to please your bride on your bond night. Reach consensus with Elienne after you bond and then the two of you turn your mutual desire over to her parents. That is where the decision belongs."

"If they say she should come with us, could you bear to have her in our home? Or must I lose you to make space for her?"

Rumil looked away with a heavy sigh. "That should not be a consideration," he said.

"But it is... I will not trade you."

Though the agony of such disruption plagued his anticipation, Rumil forced out the words of comfort Haldir needed. "When you wed, your sister will be my sister, just as Feldor and Lemor have become my nephews through your adoption of them."

"My gratitude cannot be matched by a mere thank you," Haldir said. "Might you grant me this once to embrace you?"

Rúmil stood and looking down said, "Words suffice."

"May I beg of you one more request?" Haldir asked and stood. Rúmil closed his eyes and sighed, but gave a nod and braced himself. "Burn that poem," Haldir said. "Or at least tell me you know better the truth of my heart. Tell me it was the injury of sharing me that so twisted your perspective on my faithfulness."

Seeing Haldir so moved by his suffering, Rumil smirked and said, "Inspiration need not be based in truth. I staunchly refuse to burn a perfectly well written poem. It may be..." Rúmil broke off his sentence when a shadow outside the cottage drew his attention.

Haldir turned just as an elven lady stepped into the doorway. Her silk gown and lips were both the color of the pink tea roses braided in her hair, but her cheeks blushed more crimson.

"Do you mean to make my sister stand alone before our court the entire day?"

"Standing before the court?" Haldir asked. "I thought she would walk to me!"

Swiftly the armored groom exited the cottage door. Rúmil gave the princess a nod and walked past her and onto the pathway outside the cottage. Ahead he saw only a flash of red climbing the steps through the greenery towards the cathedral.

As he followed, behind him the princess sighed heavily. "You will make us miss the introduction at this pace!" she charged and then knocked him out of her way as she passed him.

He watched her run, completely unelven in her gate and tripping on the length of her silk when she ascended the narrow stone steps. Wary to offer help to a hostile, he approached slowy and watched her pick herself up and brush off her skirt with muddy hands, marking it. Her horrified expression upon seeing the damage she'd done was turned on him.

"Look what you made me do!"

Rúmil's lips parted slightly at the accusation and she gave him no time to correct her before she took up the length of silk and scurried away around the corner and out of sight.

**Part2 ~ Elienne**

Elienne stood in the great hall of her people, listening to the tinkling bells echoing around them. It was the largest structure in Darkwood and though it stood almost as tall as the trees around it, through the power of illusion, it was as hidden among them as well as the tiny cottages.

At last, a voice excitedly called out from the back of the hall, "Behold the groom!"

All worry lifting, Elienne looked at her father who stood from his throne, ready to give the formal pronunciation of marriage. Though her mother remained seated by his side and her face was void of color, as she lifted her eyes to the door there was a glow of life to them as from Elienne's memory.

Into the side entrance came Dari, followed quickly by Rumil and as they both took their places, the bells fell silent.

Then, the door before her opened, casing a brilliant beam of light into the hall. With only the sound of her own heart pounding in her ears Elienne held her breath. She scarce could remember the details of his features but never forgot the beauty of his heart. As the excitement built inside her she percieved that like the magical moment when they first confessed their desire and made it tangibly real, the perfect icon of love was about to personify and appear before her in the flesh.

The light in the vast hall dimmed as a shadow of a figure passed in front of it. A footstep echoed into the hall and the color of scarlet reflected off of the cape of the Emissary. Elienne could not stand in her place, but dared only take a few steps forward. As she did, she saw his face taking form under a halo of glowing white-amber hair; a noble, handsome visage beamed at her, fierce in power and deep with wisdom. The expression of intent in his eye as he gazed on her cast Elienne into a dream where all else save her betrothed disappeared from her consciousness.

Haldir took several strides forward, his hands outstretched as he said, "Elienne!" He climbed the steps to her and stopped just before he reached her, blinking in all the vulnerability of his precious tenderness.

Dropping her bouquet to her feet, Elienne slowly reached out a pale hand towards him; to prove her eyes honest. He lifted his leather encased fingers to hers and as the magic of his touch cascaded a wave of realization through her, Elienne lost the strength in her legs.

Completely attuned to her senses, Haldir knelt with her, catching her gently in his arms and pulling her to him as he settled a knee to the floor.

"Finally," he said softly.

The music of harps began to play around them as the court proceeded with its ceremony. None disturbed the couple with words or direction, rather, they were allowed to remain as they were mid stage before all the guests, and yet completely alone. The two stayed there even as her father began to speak and though Elienne was listening as best she could, feeling Haldir's arms around her and his warm lips on her cheeks was all that mattered.

"My dreams never did your radiance justice," she claimed.

He whispered back, "Your own outshines the sun and all the stars."

She looked into his blue eyes and dared not look away. Rúmil moved before them to the front of the stage to begin his dedication to his brother and his acceptance of her into their family.

"If it were not for the darkened days about our wood, Oriphin would be here as well," he assured her. "But even with Celeborn in my place, I could not leave home without a trusted guardian in my stead."

Elienne looked down at their clasped fingers and said, "We should stand and listen politely." She leaned into him and added, "Though I want nothing else but to be alone with you right now."

"They will continue without us," Haldir whispered merrily as he lifted her. "They do not need us to celebrate this union and I have not the heart to entertain anyone but my bride."

Elienne wrapped her arms around him and whispered back, "I love you."

When Haldir began walking with her out the back of the hall the company around them murmured its light-hearted approval, over Rumil's poetry.

Once outside she said, "Nobody even seemed to care!"

"A husband is permitted the prerogative to indulge his wife without the interfering opinions of outsiders!" he explained, walking away from the cathedral. "It was one of the first lessons I received in courtship... and though I was dastardly in performing that practicing art, I have a mind to be a master in the trade of matrimony."

Elienne chuckled and kissed his neck. "You must have done something right..."

"Mmmm... my sweet, not yet," he said, slowing down his pace in the silent dark wood. He looked in her eyes and said, "Where might I take you for the craved privacy?"

Elienne looked up and pointed. "That path leads to a bonding cabin in the woods," she said. "And I assure you, we will be left alone for days if we so desire."

"I assure you," he said, "We _will_ so desire"

**Part 3 ~Dari**

After the couple's departure, Rúmil's sonnet continued for more than twelve full stanzas, each with eight lines of dozens of words. It was a remarkable piece of literature with alliteration, imagery and clever rhyme; all spoken from memory. Though his delivery was oddly grim and emotionless, the piece itself rivaled the best romantic works of the few annals in her father's library. Lavish in its compliments it was sickeningly grandiose especially in its celebration of the great passion that accompanies the desire to bond. Dari struggled with revulsion at his championing the excessively long engagement process and dreaded that soon would come the time for her own blessing; mere drivel in comparison to his astonishing performance.

At long last the brother of the groom was silent, gave a nod to the unresponsive audience and turned to gaze upon the empty space where the couple should have been listening. Rúmil took a step back, glancing around, revealing that he had been unaware of their snub and sending the entire hall into thunderous laughter which went on and on to Dari's horror. She watched Rumil first with pity and then fascination as his face betrayed neither embarrassment nor pain at their insult.

"They left early on, I am afraid!" her father finally said, delighted at the amusement in the court. "The joke is on you, lord Rumil! But do not be disappointed, for the rest of us have not had such a laugh in far too long! Your reputation has not done you justice for such a poem no one could have imagined."

With a curt nod to King Bronian, Rúmil stepped back up to his place beside the two smiling young brothers and stood as stone.

"Princess Darimeathea," her father said, shaking her from her empathetic notions. "My own dear poet, well beyond your years in bard talents, what blessing have you prepared for your dearest sister? Elienne is gone, but the rest who remain desire the sincerity of your whimsical expressions."

Standing alone on her side of the platform, Dari was suddenly aware of her trembling and when Rúmil's unaffected eyes fell on her. She looked at her father and shook her head, but as usual he proceeded to urge her.

"You have been composing all week!" he said with a laugh. "Show us your heart! I command it as your father and king!"

The room fell silent and Dari felt need to scream and prove the favored suspicions correct, that she was out of her mind and completely unelven. But this was her sister's bonding ceremony and future was yet to be decided.

Rising to full posture and holding her head up, Dari proudly took to center stage. She looked out over the faces she had lived among for her entire short life and found few who offered her comfort. In fact, many eyes fell to the stains on her dress and appeared disappointed at her presentation. There were none here she could hope to impress and so she did not bother to try.

"I am confident my sister knows my heart," she said curtly. "It is therefore odd to speak of something so intimate and personal in front of a crowd who just crowed in laughter at a performance infinitely more amazing than anything I could hope to present."

Gesturing to Rúmil she chastised them all.

"Our guest, my new brother, has come all the way from Lothlorien facing dangers from our foes to escort my sister's groom. He has obviously spent decades composing and memorizing his poetry in preparation for a day he has likely been anticipating to for almost an age… a day in which he might have excuse to celebrate bonding… bonding which he may only ever be able to experience vicariously."

The mumblings in the crowd and eyes shifting made her question proceeding, but she had more to say and was tired of being quiet.

Taking in a shaking breath she continued, "And not only did his diligent work go unheard by those for whom it was intended to bless, but our court, already known as the least gracious in all of Elvendom, has proven itself unworthy of such beautiful composition. Shaming poor Rumil and laughing at him. To me it is as if you mock the very sentiments he so eloquently expressed from the deepest, most precious recesses of his tender, precious and loving heart!"

Rather than be chastised, she now saw huge smiles and some covering the evidence with their hands. Others were turned with shoulders shaking in testament to bridled laughter.

She looked to see her father too was covering his mouth, his eyes merry and twinkling. When she looked upon the young brothers, hoping that maybe it is only the young who understand empathy, she instead saw that they too wore bright smiles. Worst of all, even Rúmil, whom she'd been told by Elienne stone faced in the midst of even obvious humor, here, at her expense, wore a distinguished smirk which cut her through as a dagger.

Her mother's eyes alone understood her bareness before them, shaking her head, her chin dimpling.

"You are right!" her father spoke, standing again. "We should all burn in the hellfire of Mordor for our sins! Rúmil, do forgive our rudeness. We were not so sensitive to the sincerity of your sonnet, and it went beyond our understanding that the length of it was added not to spite your duty and rob your brother of swiftness to consummate, but rather… as my precious daughter has pointed out, inspired by jealousy that your brother has wed and you have not."

He stepped forward to address the court and mockingly chastised Haldir's brother. "For this grave disservice to such a… tender heart… I hereby recommend that any lady in my kingdom who has intention to bond at some point in her future, consider this fine elder..." he gestured to Rumil and said, "by offering at least one, if not more, dances during our festivities!"

To Rúmil, he added, "And for your part, dear fellow, for the crimes of spending our ears and spinning your words to the confusion of a princess, any resistance or refusal of a request will be on pain of insult to a most generous and noble defense of your sensitivity... for never have I heard my daughter be so moved to defend anyone save herself."

Rúmil's smirk had worn off half way through the pronouncement and when the final charge came down he cringed at the chuckling of elves and cooing of ladies. He closed his eyes during his nod of obvious chagrined agreement. Upon opening them, they rested on Dari.

Her father's ridicule had at least pointed out Dari's error to not recognize droll sarcasm in her new brother; over twenty stanzas of it. But it also served to make her feel the fool and more pitiful than ever. Given a room that awaited release, she employed the escape Elienne had taught her, forced a smile.

Permission given, all in company freely expressed the hilarity they had been holding off for her delicate benefit. As the elves lovely laughter lifted into the hall as merry music to most, Dari took a few steps back to her place and bowed her head.

"Given that nothing is going as planned anyway, I suggest we skip the entire ceremony and retreat to the refreshments that wait in the reception," her father called out. "Is it not the way of Darkwood to do as we please rather than follow ancient tradition? And I am hungry!"

When all agreed and began filing out of the hall towards the courtyard where the refreshments and music would be held, Dari barely escaped her mother's touch and exited out the side door to find solitude for her tears.


	3. Horseplay

**Envied Mortality Chapter 3: Horseplay**

**Part 1 ~ Elienne**

Elienne watched Haldir's chest rising and falling until morning's light spilled into their cottage, transforming his warm glow into reflective brilliance; what perfect peace the knitting of their souls had accomplished!

Her rescue from this dreary world of disorder was drawing nigh. But would it be for her alone?

"Mmmm…" he hummed, eyes closed and lips perked with a smile. "She stirs," he whispered.

"I thought I was waiting for _you_ to wake!" she said. One eye of his opened to peer at her, and as during their wedding night before she detected shared feelings and unclear thoughts.

He ran his fingers along her bare skin and she lay her head down, snuggling in the crook of his arm. His magnificent presence was there, beside her confident and even larger in spirit than what her eyes could see. With the part of her soul where she felt he resided, she pressed into his essence, opening her heart to feel even more of him.

"_You have touched my mind so quickly! I thought it might take years," _his words rushed into her thoughts. She could not speak back, though she tried with confusion and once more she heard him in her mind._ "I have had practice speaking within Lady Galadriel's reach. You will learn in time." _

The shift in her heart to foolish insecurity was met with a strange sensation of sweet, overwhelming assurance. Not quite as sensual and arousing as a physical kiss, however he had touched her spirit, it was infinitely more intimate.

Elienne supported herself on an elbow and stared into his eyes with awe.

"What did you just do?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," he said. Dubious, she narrowed her eyes at him and he laughed out loud and admitted, "Despite all my protesting, you were right, this is new to me. I am but an anxious colt on wobbly legs, eager to gain my strength. When I do you may lure me in with your whiles to ride me like a steed, galloping into the field of our love's bond!"

"A steed," she repeated humorless, pretending to be unimpressed. He gave her a cheeky smile and a double lift from his brow. With a teasing scold she said, "Well, wild one, I am not inclined to tame you or that crass tongue of yours." She sat up and let the sheet fall to her bare lap. Haldir glanced down briefly at her exposure and she grinned as she made challenge, gazing deep into his eyes. "Lest you forget, I am a princess not a stable hand."

Though Elienne could feel in their bond Haldir's desire was growing at her boldness she was still unprepared for his quick capture. She yelped as he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close and mercilessly danced his fingers into her ribs. "I know your nature as well as you know mine and when alone we are nothing more than lovers!"

Gasping she begged him to stop and when finally he ceased, he kissed her head, holding his lips to her as her mind filled with a host of the most beautiful images in nature, all accompanied by what seemed much like a song for the harmony of voices in her head.

_"The depths of my thoughts on love go not only to the bane, my dear, but to the highest and holiest reaches of elven comprehension. So far that I have dared not speak or pen them for fear of inspiring laughter at my foolishness…"_

"It is lovely, Haldir, but too much!" she said, pulling away.

"And that is just a taste of what I wish to share!" Haldir said. Elienne tried to catch her breath at his youthful enthusiasm and as if sensing her apprehension he asked, "Tell me you will take it all in, however long it takes… however painful a sap I may be?"

"Of course," she said and then explained, "just not all at the same time!"

It drew a chuckle from him and she lay down and snuggled comfortably to his side. For hours the two of them lay there, exchanging nothing but feelings, images, dreams and strange, spirit embraces until her physical body bothered her for nourishment. Haldir rose without a stitch on or any word from her, fixing her a plate of nutbread, fruit and wine for them both from a table that was spread for them.

With a deep exhale he sat, handing her a plate and glass. Helooked to the darkening cottage windows, feelings of his eagerness to leave this kingdom for their home came to her, along with a decision that had to be discussed.

He took a sip of the purple liquid, glanced into the glass and said, "Tell me of your sister."

In a moment of release, Elienne's heart seemed to explode with the fear of the potential complications of either leaving or bringing Darimaetha. Haldir's astounded expression matched the compassion she felt flowing for her despair.

"By the wood, dear child," he said caressing her face with the back of his hand that held a cake. "How have you managed to keep this weight from me until now?"

"Perhaps the same way I keep it from myself? I fear any outcome will bring sorrow I cannot face."

"We face it together," he announced without doubt. "Tell me your greatest desire first."

She nodded but then could not bear to speak it. "I am ashamed of my selfishness..."

"There is no shame in acknowledging a sacrifice, Elienne. If Darimaetha came home with us, attending to her properly would alter our plans for a family. But why do I sense a conviction that we will never have elflings either way?"

"Is not sorrow and selfishness sufficient to make me barren?"

"Do not speak it!" he chastised in a horrified whisper. "What curse you say in fear can be made real..." Elienne trembled at the truth of his words and he took her plate and cup, stacking them with his on the table.

"We will solve this riddle to the fortune of all," he said sitting beside her again and taking her in his arms. She held on tightly as he went on. "My mother used to say…" He went silent, but into her mind came his thoughts in a memory of a woman's kind voice. _"Follow the noble leading of your heart. Leave your dreams to the grace of the Valar and your hopes to Eru's great plan."_

"Our dreams are more like planting seeds than hunting game," he said. "You can plant and feed them, but you cannot make them grow. So I have sought to do what is right should my dreams come or not."

"What are your dreams?" she asked.

"Being here with you," he said and kissed her. "And three more..."

"Is one having elflings?" she asked. She felt her heart swell as he hummed affirmative. "And the other two?" she asked.

"I hope yet for some great adventure serving Eru. It is a vague dream to find glory and likely not noble enough to warrant fulfillment… so I hold on to it with the least hope."

"Is it not noble to want to serve Eru?" she asked.

"It depends on motive. For great service there must be great need. There is no glory in adventure for adventure sake. To hope for there to be a danger to this world so that I might face is horribly vain." He paused before confessed, "And yet I cannot help but hope to be used in such a way."

"Dangers come whether we hope to face them or not," she said. "Is it not better to be ready to volunteer to help than to hope dangers never come in your lifetime so that you are not sent begrudgingly?" She laid her hand flat on his stomach and added, "And better yet that there are those willing so that those who are not do not have to be compelled." She tapped him and said, "You are noble and humble, Haldir."

He gave a single chuckle and said, "Poor Arwen thought you would be good for taming my vanity; you seem to be making it worse!"

Elienne smiled and asked, "Any more dreams?"

Immediately she saw Haldir's brother's face in her mind, only it was not the stern Rumil she knew, but a tender elf whose face was grinning with sincere joy. "It is how I remember him," Haldir whispered. "Before our parents were killed. He has never healed from the trauma he endured. I have done what I can, but I fear not all dreams are possible."

"And some we may have to give up in order to gain another." Haldir hummed in confusion and she explained, "Galadir told me years ago that rearing his daughters added to his wisdom; it is why he does not interfere with Dari and my father... he wants the king of Darkwood to grow; as do I."

"That is the guidance of a seasoned advisor, no wonder Celeborn trusts him..." he said. "It will not be an easy conclusion, but we have two more days to decide!" Haldir snuggled down into her until his nose was behind her ear and she felt his warm body pressing against her, dampening her worry with other immediate interests. "Might we bond again, though it is so soon?"

Elienne did not need to verbalize her welcome and his hands began exploring her once more. In a playful turn, she pushed him away. Confusion swept over his face as he yielded to her gentle force until he was flat on his back. Lifting herself up, she took her place upon him in straddle, sitting softly and slow. Raising a brow Elienne placed one hand in the center of his firm stomach and her other on her thigh. It wasn't until she moved her hips that his face burnt in crimson realization of her intentions to fulfill his jesting fantasy.

By evidence in his body below her and his heart within, he was in full delight as he breathed, "What a match we have made!"

**Part 2 ~ Feldor**

While lifted by the music of the lyres and delighted in tales told by Darkwood elders, Feldor found the food most delectable and his brother took to the wine.

For all of yesterday, last night and this afternoon, both had left the dancing to Rúmil. The sullen brother of their mentor had behaved most admirably in their eyes; never once denying a partner. Yet even with all of the many social and sensory wonders, neither brother could content themselves with present company; the absence of Darkwood's youngest princess plagued both their minds to distraction.

"Enjoy yourselves and leave those who cannot to their own misery!" King Bronian encouraged as he once more brushed their inquiries off as nuisance.

Lemor would not be dissuaded again and attempted his assault at another angle. "Good King, as you have generously bequeathed a bounty of blessings upon us, we plead you hear out one final request made by your youngest guests?"

The tall elf crossed his green sleeved arms and looked down on them from under his reddish brows. Giving it his best tone of persuasion, Lemor propositioned.

"Tell us where your daughter might be so we may fetch her to obtain a dance request with Lord Rumil. He may never be this amiable to it again! Would you rob your own beloved daughter of such a rare and novel treat?"

A few who'd joined during Lemor's pontification chuckled, but with a hand on each of their shoulders the king said, "I assure you two Haven Elflings, Darimaetha is not interested in dancing any more than her new brother is!"

"Why not?" Lemor asked.

"Her youth is preoccupied with selfish interests and pursuits of mischief that ensnare any unwary heart. Enjoy her absence and stay away for your own good."

Lemor rested his deference on Feldor, his eyes begging for assistance in the matter.

Without pause or thought Feldor said, "M'lord, if Lord Haldir rejects your daughter's request to leave with us, this may be our only chance to become acquainted with her."

"Orcspit," Bronian cursed. "Did she..." The king arrested some dark thought and then glanced around and said to the surprised gathering, "The Emissary of Lothlorien would not dare take two daughters from a king and his ailing wife." He gestured to the somber elves about them and explained to Feldor, "We here are well prepared for this drama she invents, but I apologize to you that Darimaetha has so aptly played you for a fool. She will not be leaving Darkwood; not if I have anything to say about it."

Amazed, Feldor asked, "If you want her to stay so badly, why have you not one_ pleasant_ word to speak of her?"

The air drawn in by those about and their sipping of drinks and departing company clued Feldor that he must have spoken out of turn. Lemor's wide eyes confirmed it.

"Feldor," the king started. "You are sixty, are you not?" Feldor nodded. "If you have been with Lord Haldir for thirty of those years, how is it you have not learned to phrase your insults diplomatically?"

"I am slow to learn," he said, bitten by fear. "Please do not blame Lord Haldir's."

"All elves are slow learners," Bronian said with a huff. He then wagged a finger and looked at one of them and then the other as he instructed, "You go to her and you will find little of worth, I promise. But so it cannot be said that I sent you to your doom undefended, I instruct you thusly." He put his arms around them and led them to the edge of the garden. "Neither of you are to leave the sight of the other in her presence. A divided target of two may confuse her and save you both." He waited for that to sink in, dropped his hands and once more glanced from one eager elf to the other. "She is likely with Sully, her horse."

"Thank you!" Lemor said, pushing Feldor towards the stables.

Once there, Lemor called her name many times in and out of all of the stables.

"Empty," he said as they reentered Sullendry's home. "He sent us away only to delay our search."

Feldor hung the lantern up on a hook and sat on a bale as his brother approached an open stall with a large stallion. "I still can hardly believe this is the same horse from my memory," he said.

Just as when they had come with Haldir the first night, Sullendry gave no indication of familiarity with either of them. "You were like a mountain, impossible to mount." He patted it and the horse continued to chomp its hay.

Glancing around, Feldor could not help feeling something was amiss. "Why give us such strong warning if to send us on an empty errand?"

"There are vacant stalls," Lamer commented. "Perhaps she went riding."

A stirring in his heart told Feldor that was not the case. He made a guess and threw bait. "We should borrow horses to search the wood," he said. "I will take Sullendry, you saddle Sully."

From behind a closed stall came the thump of a foot fall as if from a high ledge. Feldor's eyes met his brothers and both smirked at the successful, clever ruse.

At the sound of a creaking gate they turned to see a dark form step out. Her rose dress was now covered in bits of hay along with the streaks of dirt, but Dari's hair looked to have taken the worst of a torrent. She did not even glow the least bit in the dark corner in which she stood; Feldor felt his heart skip in wonder if this dismal disposition was what the approach of a mortal woman would seem.

"Sully is gone off on a run," Darimaetha said. "He is not a kept horse and his stall is always open as is his father's."

"Why have you been hiding from us?" Lemor jumped in, approaching her. "We are overjoyed to meet another our age; we three are the youngest elves in Middle Earth, did you know that?"

The glance of the princess drifted to Feldor and he put his hand on his heart as if to punctuate his brother's inquiry. She merely blinked and looked to the floor of the stable.

"We have been seeking your fine company in earnest since the reception commenced, dear sister," Lemor continued, "Come, let us join the others, surely you must be ready for wine and cake after two days resting in this hold?"

It was a pity that Lamer could not see his proposal was falling like a dull arrow to a thick hide.

"What must we do to convince you?" Feldor asked plainly. She glanced back up at him and he said, "We are but two fools with little to offer but friendship." Her breaths became shallow and quick as he continued. "We wish to offer it to you so if you do come home with us you shall be in good company immediately... but if we are forced to wait to know you well until you join us in Lorien on a later date, let it be enhanced by anticipation. That sweet longing can only ever be moved upon a heart which has become familiar with another… will you join us in that pleasure?"

As she stared at him, Feldor wondered if his wanton boldness would once more prove folly, but she gave it good thought.

"If you speak truth," she said. "Prove it." Training her eyes on Lemor she bade, "I will go with you to the reception and even offer you both a dance, if you come with me first on an errand."

He jumped in without hesitation. "Lead on, I shall follow!"

Dari took the lantern, and gave her attention to Feldor. He was not so comfortable; they had been warned she was intent on causing trouble.

Before he could speak his misgivings, Dari was out the door in a huff. "We can do it alone!"

"Come!" his brother said and followed her. Unwilling to leave his brother alone with her, Feldor went after them and had to keep quick pace to not be left behind.

Within a short length of path Dari stepped among the ferns, abandoning the mossy lined flat stones.

"Where are you going?" Lamer asked her, but she did not respond. Feldor stopped behind his halted brother as they watched her wander around the trees until only the dim glow of her lamp could be seen.

"It is almost pitch in those woods," Feldor whispered. "See how fast the light fades?"

"Are you coming?" Dari asked in the distance. "Or do you wish me to keep my errand a secret?"

"Can you not tell us here?" Feldor asked. "So we can assess the risk wisely?"

"Are all Haven elves so afraid of the dark?"

"It is not the dark I fear," Lemor called out merrily. "It is what hides in it!"

Reflecting his cheerfulness Dari laughed and said, "Ah! Yes, then you are wise to fear, for there are many monsters in this wood. That is why my ancestors chose to settle here! We keep trolls as pets and feed them from our barnyards of gobblins!"

Lemor laughed and Feldor could not help but smile.

"I like her teasing," Lemor said. "It seems obvious and harmless... elders worry too much." His eyes glowed dimly when he turned them on Feldor and added, "If we left her to wander on her own and she was harmed, would we feel worse than whatever may come if we are led to a bit of mischief?"

A light cry in the distance caught their attention and the elves did their best to hurry through the shadows toward the light Dari carried. It seemed to move too quickly for them and for a great long distance they followed until it stopped moving altogether. When at last they came to the lantern, it swung, dangling from a tree branch.

"Darimaetha?" Feldor called.

"You both are too slow!" she said to their right. They turned, trying to see her and then heard behind them. "Why are you still here, go back to the boring exchanges of elder chatting without me, I will find my way and accomplish my errand without your help. But you shall have no dance with me now!"

"This is your fault!" Lemor said. "Why are you so hesitant, Feldor! I wanted to know her errand!" He sighed and said, "And I wanted that dance..."

Feldor lifted the lantern from its perch and said, "Though it seems ungentle to abandon a young friend to the dark wood, she left us first - we should do as she bid and go back."

"I disagree, we should wait for her. But even if I did not," Lemor grumped, "I do not know the way, do you?"

Feldor turned, expecting to see the glow of the village from whence they came, for the glittering stars of Lothlorien's lamps would never be hidden from wanderers who'd taken so few steps from a path. In a mini panic they both took steps around to find a better view, but here the trees were so densely packed with low baring leaves that they saw darkness everywhere, save finally, a single flicker.

"There," Feldor said. "And for once I advantage my three years your senior and bid you follow my lead without argument!"

Lemor grew quiet, doing as he was told until a cottage came into view. Before they could think to discuss how they should disturb this secluded structure they were startled by the sound of rustling from above in a tree, followed by the clattering of a rock striking a shutter and landing in the flower box with a thud.

With a gasp, both brothers felt their hearts stop in icy grips of fear. For staring at them from inside the window, his white, blond hair tousled around an expression of incensed indignation was the one most magnificent elder elf still in Middle Earth for whom they had the utmost respect and adoring affection… and until this moment, had never once reason to fear.


	4. Prisoners

**Envied Mortality Chapter 4: Prisoners **

**Part 1 ~ Haldir**

"Elf youths!" Haldir declared as he sorted through the clothing on the floor. Two more of what sounded to be rocks rattled the walls and seeing Elienne startle again his patience was gone. "Never… in all my mind's worst imagined possibilities…" he said, hastily pulling on his leggings. "..could I have conceived such...such..." Unable to think, Haldir gave off an exasperated huff.

"What will you do?" Elienne asked, suppressing a smile as she pulled the bed linen higher up around her.

"Death would be just," he said, but checked himself at the door. "Truly, probably nothing. What I know of those brothers' self-flogging over foolish misjudgments, once they see I am not pleased, they will wish for punishment to relieve their guilt."

Out the door and around the cottage, Haldir spied only Feldor lifting the lantern, looking into the darkness. Upon reaching him, the young elf's pale face spoke volumes, echoed by the desperate footfalls sprinting into dangerous desertion.

"Do not move," Haldir ordered before he sprang to sprint.

Given his ghastly performance in finding the kingdom in daylight, Haldir feared being caught in the magic of these woods for days before the guardians find them. Conceding to what only his risked fallen pride could excuse; he begged.

"Please, Lemor, you must stop!" As Haldir's prey continued to flee, shamelessness befell him to bluff. "I will let you go… and you will be lost alone…" When that did not work he added, "I will insist none come after you for your crime against me!"

Lemor's steps fell just as quick and Haldir's heart sunk into the bog of resignation. While composing a worthy curse for the release of his frustration once he lay hands on this imp, a distinct sound of heavy hooves galloping towards them broke his concentration. In short measure a piercing whinny brought forth a scream of terror from his adopted son and added an unknown reserve of speed to Haldir's steps.

He dodged through the thick arbors and towards the huffing of a horse that reared over a dark cowering figure. Jumping between, Haldir shielded Lemor and ordered, "You will do him no harm!"

The horse fell sure footed and calmed in either surprise or reverence. It took a step backward and gave what to his attuned ears was not a meaningless whinny but the cadence of a sentient horse; they had just been rightfully scolded! Sullendry might not have been so blatant in pointing out their folly, but a spirited child-horse might.

"Sully?" Haldir asked in delight. The horse was silent. "I am Haldir… I am your father's friend. Do you know me by name?" The confirmation in his huffing brought a smile to Haldir's face and he turned to Lemor, trembling on the ground. He took the young elf by the tunic and pulled him up to stand. Without a word to his charge, Haldir asked the horse. "Will you lead us back?"

The horse stomped the ground and though it was clearly an affirmative, the pace the equine took left much to be desired for speed. Haldir was at his mercy and did not complain. Neither did he say one word to or let go of Lemor.

When they finally saw the lights of the lantern and his bonding cottage's candle could be seen, Haldir said,"I am in your debt, Sully. You have saved me from great dishonor. Elienne and I…" Before he could finish the horse rudely ran off and Haldir continued to nearly drag Lemor with him toward Feldor.

"There is a path on the other side of this cottage," he said and pointed towards the village. "You will follow it that way and when you reach the kingdom, you will find Rúmil. Tell him what you have done and that I have instructed him to decide your fate while you wait for my retribution."

The nod from Lemor was expected, but Feldor's mouth opened and dry as a desert he asked, "What about her?"

"What about, who, Elienne? Do you dare to speak to me of my bride?"

With a quaking voice he asked, "No, Dari…maetha."

"Is she in on this?" Haldir asked.

Feldor pointed at the cottage and the entire plot came together for Haldir in an instant. Rather than set his students free for their likely innocence of intent, he sent them on their way to receive their due from his brother for being mere tools in a trick.

After they jogged off, Haldir headed for the door trying to compose himself. Had the timing with his wife been more intrusive he might have brought down all of Mordor on two precious saints.

When he heard his beloved's voice, he stopped short of entering.

"...Haldir is both warrior and sage, Dari; whatever he decides will be for the well-being of all."

"You have no say, do you?" Dari demanded. "He is manipulating you just like Father does."

"That is not the way of it, I trust Haldir's nobility and his love for me..."

"If you do not learn to stand up to him," Dari warned, "you will become worse than the broken hearted, spiritless shell of our mother. You will become a soulless puppet of pleasure for him!"

The accusation stung and when his new sister ran through the door into him, he grabbed her, probably more firmly than necessary. She yelped and squirmed but Haldir easily lifted her and brought her before Elienne; who was now dressed in a sleeping gown.

"Were you done with her?" he asked, not hiding his ire.

"Oh Haldir, let her go!" Elienne said, standing with concern.

"So she can dupe my precious saints into more egregious mischief? I don't think so," he said. "She needs to be watched... whom among your court can be trusted?"

The princess in his grasped was gawking up at him shocked and his bride wrung her hands, obviously without argument.

"Take her to our father, he'll know what to do," Elienne said.

Haldir saw a twitch of humor on Dari's face and said, "I am sorry to say it, Elienne, but were your father any good at discipline none of this would have occurred in the first place! Rúmil will never forgive me, but he will have to suffice as guard."

"I withdraw my request," Dari blurted out to Elienne, uselessly yanking her arm from Haldir. "I do not want to go to Lorien with you and this _monster_. I want to stay here with the fiends I know."

"Our consideration is for what is best for you, Dari," Elienne said.

"So I have no say either?" she asked.

"I'm so sorry," Elienne said, and came up to them. She caressed her cheek and Dari turned her head gently away. Haldir felt an odd pain as he watched his wife's heart breaking. When she nodded to him to go, their eyes met and a surge of compassion for this upstart filled him.

Into her mind he said, _"I see her need now, but Galadriel would never agree to my keeping someone against her will."_

"I know," Elienne said sadly to him aloud and watched as he led her sister out.

Once out of earshot down the path Dari said softly, "You hurt my arm."

"I have centuries of experience at this task and am quite aware of the pressure it takes to injure an elf," he said. To prove himself, he gave a slight squeeze and she winced as he said, "That may have hurt a bit."

After a few more steps, she grumbled, "I cannot believe Elienne has traded me for _you_!"

Haldir lowered his gaze to the ground as they walked; the words of his brother's dirge clarifying her devistation.

Softly he offered, "I do not wish to humiliate you and I prefer to keep our family matters private. If you agree to come gently with me, I will let go."

She glared up at him with wild, disbelieving eyes.

"When was the last time you slept?" he asked. She turned from him in obvious guilt. "You need not answer, I understand now. Without rest a young elf can fall into the pitfalls of human indiscretion. These feelings are not your own, they are the reaction of the weariness in you." Her chin dimpled and he said, "I do not hold any sins against you, you are too young to be accountable for your behavior. I will have words with your father however."

"NO!" she said and stopped walking. "I too prefer discretion... if you promise to keep it from my father that I requested to leave him, I will go with you peacefully and do whatever you ask... I do not want to hurt him."

The desperation in her hollow eyes convinced him she was sincere and Haldir released her arm in demonstration of trust, leading her on without incident.

When he opened the door Rumil eyed him from the corner chair and frowned on Haldir's state of undress. He then stood and put aside his reading. To Haldir's left Feldor and Lemor stood, hands to their sides, motionless, but grave concern clear on both their faces.

"I am in your debt," Haldir said to his brother.

Rumil's lack of insult or question gave Haldir all he needed to know about his brother's true displeasure at this latest duty thrust upon him.

"I mean it," Haldir said. "You may ask anything of me and it will be done."

Narrowing his eyes, Rumil thought on it, returned to his seat and picked up his book. Without a word he sat and Haldir left Dari there, closing the door behind him to return to his bride.

**Part 2 ~ Darimaetha**

Unsure of what to expect, Dari took measure of the other three elves in the dark room. They were so quiet that she thought for sure they could hear her anxious heartbeat.

She lifted a hand and rubbed her hurt arm, waiting for the lecture, but Haldir's brother merely continued reading by the dim light of the only lamp. She gazed at the brothers and thought how they reminded her of the toy soldiers on the Easterling Prince's war map. The turning of a page startled her and Rumil moved only his eyes to glance at her and then returned to reading, apathetic.

Regaining indignation, Dari asked, "Why are _they_ being punished?"

"They are not," Rúmil said and then mocked her lazy pronunciation, "being 'punished'."

The brothers wore tense expressions, and wondering if she was being tricked, she posed another question, being careful to speak as proper as she could. "Then why are we being held prisoners?"

"You are not being held prisoner," Rúmil said.

Taking a step toward him she said, "Haldir said you would be my guard."

"I assume he was being facetious," came the unaffected response. Then with another slight glance up he asked, "Given your misunderstanding at the ceremony I take it humor is not a strength of yours?"

Dari clenched her jaw at that insult, but now felt free to spite him.

"So if I may then I will," she said.

"I wish you would not," Rúmil said before she could turn.

Dari looked at the brothers and wondered if they had opted to stay for some reason.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I will have to follow you and that would be a bother."

"I'm not easily followed," she taunted. "I could run away from you, back to my sister, even!"

"You may try," Rúmil said. His eyes lifted to her, almost in challenge.

Dari noticed Feldor had stopped his statuesque state and was looking directly at her, opening his mouth, about to speak. His exhale was empty and as if thinking better on it, he glanced down.

With weariness, Dari backed up to a chair against the wall and began to sit.

Rúmil lifted a pointed finger at her and said, "You may not sit."

"Why not?" she protested angrily. Before she dared to defy, the sound of female voices floated in through the window. Quick as she could, Dari moved to the far side of the armoire next to Rúmil, and hid out of view of the door.

"This is where he's staying… There you are, Rúmil, Lord Haldir's _dear_ younger brother. Why are you hiding from the festivities?" Dari recognized it as Galhadir's elder daughter's voice. "My sister and I have not had enough dancing with you."

Instead of an explanation of Dari's misdeeds requiring his attention, Rúmil forced a smile and put down his book, standing. He walked beyond where she could see and said, "I must refuse over family matters. However, if these two young elves will suffice, they will likely agree to be at your disposal for as long as you will have their company."

From where she stood Dari could not see Feldor, but Lemor was nodding to them eagerly.

"Oh but they are not as light on their feet as an elder of your quality," she answered.

Her sister responded in kind, "That is like offering newly minted gold coins to replace a rare and ancient artifact."

"I am honored by your generous simile, but my loyalty is to my brother."

Giving up their argument, the sisters began a discussion on who should take which brother when suddenly one of them yelped, "Oh… what is that smell?"

Lemor was looking right at Dari as he quickly explained, "We have been a week on horseback." He blinked and turned towards the ladies as he nervously offered, "Lord Rúmil's… things must reek of the beasts."

There was a moment of awkward silence before Rúmil acquiesced to the cover. "Perhaps I should request a kettle of hot water from the kitchen. Would you have it sent on your return to the banquet, Lemor? Enough water to facilitate my washing basin."

After he agreed, they left and Rúmil took his seat again. Dari stayed beside him, watching, curious. He did not glance her way and it seemed immeasurably long before he turned the page.

"What are you reading?" she asked.

His eyes shifted ever so slightly in annoyance. When he gazed back down he answered, "A book."

Filled with a mixture of hurt and amusement, Dari sat at his feet to get a closer look. His thin, stern face was not pleasant at all; apparently his chill was both in demeanor and countenance.

Dari had witnessed the many stages of deterioration in men as they dwindled to death with age, but besides her mother, she never knew any elders whose maturity did not radiate loveliness. There were no lines or frailty to Rumil's face, but he was as gray and hollow as a burnt corpse; almost as if he might turn to dust if she touched him.

Without asking, she reached up and to her surprise he did not swipe her hand away or even look at her as her fingers lightly brushed his cheek. His skin was cooler than expected and she shrunk from him immediately. Again, like her mother! She wondered if his elven immortality had also been stifled by some unknown sorrow.

When next he turned a page, his regard rested on her and mysteriously, the tautness of his stone features melted like a butter statue in the sun. He laid his book on his lap and sat up. Lifting the lamp, he leaned closer to her to aid his vision.

Darimaetha had witnessed the awe of men, enchanted by elven perfection, and many were the time she had received expressions of delight as elves enjoyed her beauty, but none had ever so unabashedly cast aside inhibition to study her face for so long and with such intensity.

"What do you see?" she asked.

Rúmil remained silent and set the lantern back in place, his eyes kept on her. As if his vulnerability was a force bidding her, Dari rose to her knees until her eyes were at the level of his. Then, she felt again, the tug of vain temptation.

Leaning forward she tilted her head and came closer than she had managed with any other elf. Given that he did not refuse her, Dari touched her lips to his and then, was at a loss on what to do. They stayed there, joined stiff and cold until the discomfort was too much. She sat back to see that his gray face was still void of expression.

Before she could think of what to do next, a voice spoke from the door, "You called for hot water, m'lord?"

On hearing Elhedel's announcement, Dari stood suddenly. When the chef's apprentice saw her horrid state of dress he grinned and spoke his mockery to Rúmil.

"I will need to fetch more water if you have plans to bathe your wench."

Rúmil stood and charged him with his book in his hand. "I should put a bruise to your face for uttering such abusive language in the presence of an elfling, let alone using it in reference to a lady."

"My lord!" he said, breathless. "I only meant that she smells of stable like a lowly woman!"

"Place the kettle on the stone and leave us," he snapped.

Elhedel did as he was told and at the door he said, "Dari, _you_ knew I was only teasing, right?"

"I am not injured," she offered meekly.

When the young elf exited, Rúmil went to his water basin and poured a bit of the drinking water from the pitcher. He then added more from the steaming kettle. With his finger he tested the mixture, and motioned for her.

As Dari stepped cautiously towards him, he took a cloth and dipped it in.

"I am not an elfling," she said. "I can wash myself."

He rung the cloth out and she took it.

His gaze was cast down as he said, "Forgive my calling you an elfling... I am not ignorant of your official adult status next week."

She went on to her task without a response, dipping her hands into the water. "It's hot!" she said as she rubbed the dirt off.

"Heat improves the cleaning process better than ointment, especially if there is an open wound."

"I have no _open_ wounds," she said. She ran her wet hand up her arm to lift her sleeve. To her amazement there was a glorious bruise forming!

Almost in joy she said, "I told him it hurt and he didn't believe me. Look, I have proof!"

"Who did this?" Rúmil asked, his cool fingers gently supporting her arm to take a closer look.

"Your brother," she said. When Rúmil looked distressed she pulled away from him and said, "I was resisting, I deserved it." She ignored his concern, took the basin of dirty water and went to the open window tossing it in the path.

Awkward at his lack of response she pressed her lips together and watched him take out a softer cloth from his own jerkin pocket. He took the basin from her and poured a fresh warm mixture. Once he dipped the cloth, he came close to her, looking over her face as he had before. He swallowed hard.

"I can do it," she said and put her hand on his to take the cloth.

"I wish you would let me," he said, holding on to it.

As he began to gently rub below her eye and over her cheek, she said, "Aren't you going to ask me why I kissed you?" His face twitched and he gave her a tiny shake of his head. "Why not?" she asked.

"Because I don't think you know."

Dari looked down, trying to fight the sting in her eyes. He went back to dip the cloth back in and she asked, "Why did you let me?"

He rung out the water and said, "I thought the rejection might hurt you." He turned back around and added, "I didn't want to hurt you."

She watched him walk back up to her and stared in his cold face. "Nobody but Elienne has ever stood up for me as you just did with Elhedel," she said.

"Then what I owe you of thanks is at least half paid. For in our short acquaintance I have already acquired two unexpected debts."

Dari laughed at the nonsense. "How do you owe me anything?" she asked.

"Your speech, defending my tender heart," he said with the lift of a single brow.

Incredulous she pushed the cloth away and narrowed her eyes. "I made a fool of myself!"

He turned the cloth to find a clean spot and said, "At first I thought you were mocking me but when your sincerity became clear, I was humbled to be so unworthily defended."

He lifted the cloth and she nodded to allow him to continue. "I took on the duties your father assigned to prove to you my appreciation. Imagine my chagrin, dancing without your witness."

Dari smiled and asked, "At least my humiliation served some blessing... what is the second favor I unknowingly paid you?"

He paused his cleaning and said, "Though you were involved in mischief of which I do _not_ approve, because of it, the brothers and you were put in my charge, rescuing me from the dance."

"You don't like dancing?" she asked.

"Dancing is pleasant, it's attention from giddy ladies that I loath," he said with a smirk.

"I think perhaps your rye perspective on romantic notions is merely a mask," she cooed. "Otherwise you never would have allowed me to kiss you." His eyes shifted down with impatience and she said, "You did enjoy it a little, didn't you?" When he folded the cloth in silence she said, "I saw something in your eyes when you gazed at me."

Her voice trailed off and she went to the mirror only to be struck by her humiliating error. Her washed cheeks were blushed rosy pink and lovely from his cleaning, but her forehead was still dingy with filth and her hair was matted and messed with straw.

"That was _horror_ you saw!" she accused and turned to him. "You are only being kind because you feel sorry for me!" As her eyes began to sting with new seeds of self-pity, Dari went to the basin to splash the water directly on her face. She took the rougher cloth and rubbed it all over until it hurt. In her second attempt to empty the bowl she accidentally spilled the water all over herself.

"Now look what you made me do!" she cried and walked past him, throwing the basin on the floor at his feet with a clamor. She was half way to her own home before she caught glimpse of Rumil behind her, carrying his lantern. He did not rush to catch her, as her father would, but he was following and keeping her in sight.

Determined he watched from a gentle distance and seeing his careful concern, she felt badly for throwing such a tantrum. It was not his fault she was what she was and he did not have to be kind at all; what did it matter the reasons? She decided not to fight him anymore and walked home slowly, changed into a casual cotton gown Elienne had made for easy washing and came back outside with a long cloth tied around her hair. She walked toward him and past, returning to his guest cabin with him close behind.

When they arrived, she went straight to the bed, sitting on it. He did not complain, just slowly closed the door and moved to his chair. She crossed her arms and instead of resuming his reading, he put out the lantern! Then he just sat there in the nearly pitch dark quiet until Dari felt she would pass out from weariness.

Finally he spoke, "What do you hope to gain from keeping yourself awake?"

"Maybe I am one of those elves who do not need sleep." His light chuckle lifted her spirit and she engaged further. "How would you know I have not discovered the secret?"

"I have been sleepless for more than a century. Brutal withholding as you are doing will only encourage its demands on you."

"In earnest?" she asked, astonished. "You do not sleep?"

"I am no more tempted by a soft pillow than I am by sweet foods, or the _beauty_ of a lady in her youth. I have put aside all such desires and focus only on needs: a few hours of rest, water and a bit of a meal once or twice a week; more if my duties are rigorous."

"Will you teach me the secret?" she asked.

"There is no secret, only mystery." His tone turned to reverence as he explained, "Lady Galadrial taught me that those who do not understand a matter will not believe..." Rumil paused and uttered with emotion, "...even when the obvious is told to them."

Moved more by his breaking voice than his strange lesson, she asked, "Are you alright?"

"No," he said. "I am very troubled."

Carefully she asked, "What is it?"

"Telling you will not ease my burden and will add to yours," he said. "But you have discerned correctly and I assure you in all honesty, if you sleep, I will find peace."

Panic rising up in her heart she shook her head. "I would prefer not to," she said.

After a long pause he asked, "When you sleep, do you have dreams you do not want?"

"That would be wholly unelven," Dari denied. "They are youthful imagination of false fears."

"They are 'nightmares'," he insisted. "A mystery to those who do not understand. That is why even many elders do not believe. And why those who have them keep them a secret."

Dari swallowed hard and gripped the bed cover where she sat. After a bit of silence she said, "Not even Elienne believes me."

"I will wake you if I see you unsettled," he said. He leaned forward and she felt a cool hand on hers as he said, "I will be here and I will pray to the Valar for your peace."

Stunned Dari said, "You would bother them for such a little thing?"

"Nienne weeps for all suffering... she feels the pain, regardless of the justification for it. That is why we must learn not to hurt others, even if they deserve it."

Dari lay down and turned on her side away from him. "You can put the lamp on and read, if you want," she said. "I am used to Elienne writing at night."

After a few moments he asked, "What will you do when she is gone?"

"Sully knows to wake me," she said softly and felt herself floating away.

**Part 2 ~ Rúmil**

Not for centuries had Rúmil been haunted by the memory of his own mother's tear-stained face. He knew his compassion for Dari was inspired by the uprooted memory, but still, he indulged himself the sweet pleasure of aiding someone in need.

Her light breaths of peace served both to grant satisfaction in his tiny success as well as a reminder of his own ancient fear of slumber.

Even awake he could still see their black lips, gray tongues and rotten teeth spitting out all sorts of insults at his mother. 'Wench', 'whore' and other curses no youth should ever hear levied against his most sacred source of tenderness.

Glancing up at Dari he noted her arms drawn in tightly and her knees bent. The blight of chill too? She was lying on the quilt, so Rúmil drew his heaviest velvet robe from his pack and placed it over her. She nestled into it like a fawn.

How fragile the young were!

Everything in him warned to keep distant from youths, and yet Feldor and Lemor had been thrust into his life, wearing down his resistance. Now, here as a delinquent's guard, he had so quickly turned maid and comforter. Nienne had to be at work!

"Peace be with her," he prayed softly, closing his eyes to meditate on what peace he could muster.

When daylight crept into the cabin, Rúmil quietly drew the shutters. It did not dissuade visitors, for Feldor and Lamer returned with sweet rolls and tea. He sent them away, turning over the kettle from the night before. Their return with bounty for lunch was accepted, but their company again spurned. Twice more they arrived, once with fresh bread and again with roasted rabbit on a spit. But twice more he bid them leave.

"Is she well, can you at least tell us that?" Feldor whispered before being sent away again. Beside him his brother seemed equally concerned.

"Why do you ask?"

The brother's exchanged glances and again Feldor spoke. "She is unlike anyone we have ever met... my heart tells me something is not right, but nobody here seems to see it. They say she is just young, or that she will miss her sister. But we are young, and we left our parents... it was sad, but..."

"Why does she not bathe and why did she lie to us?" Lemor burst in.

"They are good questions," Rumil validated. "But I have no answers. Now off with you until I open this shutter! I have enough food for a week in here."

Besides their whispered visits, Rúmil spent time only with his unsettled memories and his ungracious behavior of late. Even trying to read he was disrupted by how harsh he had been to one so wounded. She had only asked what it was he was reading!

Suddenly she tossed in a fit and cried out lightly. Rumil stood and placed his hand on her arm to wake her. At his touch she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, settling.

Pulling his chair over, he sat for hours with his hand at her elbow, watching her. How could Haldir's beloved Elienne think to leave her sister in this state? Why did nobody else see it?

The answer came to him again: It was a mystery, not a secret.

Laying his head on his arm to rest, Rumil thought of how little could be done for her in a few days.

Hours later he felt a hand on his; it was morning on the second day.

"I slept all night!" she said.

"Both nights and yesterday," he said, getting up to go to the table. Glancing at her as he picked up a pear to slice, he added, "Apparently you were in dire need. No doubt you now need nourishment. Come… there is plenty."

"You left me to get food?"

Rúmil lay down his knife and with a gesture to the table, said, "These morsels are gifts from Feldor and Lemor." He clicked open the shutter lock and pushed them out.

"Why, after what I've done to them?" she asked as she lifted herself from the bed.

"That is a good question," Rúmil said, taking a seat. With a mixture of awe and gloom she joined him and began to place her selections on a plate. She took a bite of pear and then spread some nut butter on bread.

"Perhaps they forgive you," he suggested.

When she did not answer, he tapped his mouth with a finger and said, "A Comprehensive Annal of the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, Volume two of three. As told by Elrond half-elven, Lord of Rivendel."

"What?" she asked.

"You asked me yesterday what I was reading and I was rude," he said. "Forgive me?"

"Oh, that," she said, looking out the window at the flowers in the box. "You wanted to be left alone and I don't have to be so nosy."

"Curiosity is a tool of intelligence," he said. "You should never use it sparingly. If I am rude, it is my flaw to mend."

Seeming to sum up his statements in her mind, Dari swallowed and then pushed her plate away.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked. She nodded, as if just to silence him; not because she knew what forgiveness meant.

"The shutter is open," Lemor's voice carried and the two of them appeared through the window, not full of energy and joy, as before, but with downcast countenances.

"Haldir and Elienne have returned," Feldor said through the window. Behind him Lemor tried to peer in. "Their decision has been made and they meet with the king."

"What was it?" Dari asked.

Rumil stood aside and allowed the youths to enter the door.

"We weren't told," Feldor said when he came in.

"I don't think it's what we were hoping for," Lemor said. "When we asked if we were bringing home two sisters both Lord Haldir and Lady Elienne looked regretful and sent us away."

Dari took it in expressionless. "I always knew this day would come," she said. She looked up at Rumil and said, "It is not as bitter as I thought it would be. I told them I changed my mind, maybe they are merely honoring my wish?" She rose and came to him. "I will send them away with peace on my face. It does no good for Elienne to suffer for me... Thank you for your kindness, brother."

Suddenly seeming years beyond her age, she kissed him, on the cheek this time. Taking in a breath, Rúmil felt a sharp pain in his chest as Dari pulled away and walked out the door, her feet heavy as lead. Feldor and Lemor glanced at him in awe and then went after her.

Rumil closed his eyes and in his mind cried out to Nienna, _"I cannot bear this!"_

No comfort came and he felt anger to be driven to ignore such obvious pain. Where was beloved apathy when he needed it? Then, into his mind her sweet singing rang. He often leaned on her strength but long had it been since he heard her voice so directly!

_Fail to love and love will fail_  
><em>Like Westward winds without a sail<em>  
><em>What guides your heart is your measure<em>  
><em>Peace within is hidden treasure<em>

Confused he asked out loud, "How can I trust the guidance of a dead heart?"

_"Your heart is not dead. It merely awaits a reason to live."_

Rumil glanced out the window at the young ones waiting there for him. He knew why they waited; he remembered when dependence on someone was more for safety than slavery. They did not know what they wanted or needed; their hearts were blank parchments waiting for ink. Rumil did not dare to give ear to his desires; he did not trust them. It had always been much easier to go along with Haldir's plans than to risk losing another argument.

Feldor glanced in, worry on his face. His young compassionate heart saw a need in Dari but such a youth could not possibly understand the cost. If Haldir brought her back, the disruption to their lives would be monumental. But to leave her in a home so void of empathy... what peace could Rumil hope to ever have with that knowledge?

Rumil walked out the door and Lemor said, "Lord Haldir said it could take all day. What do you suggest we do while we wait?"

"If I leave you alone with them," Rumil said to Darimaetha, "Will you behave?"

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To join the discussion," he said.

Feldor was still unsure, but Lemor smiled broadly, "You seek to change their mind?"

Rumil kept his eyes on Dari and he could see in her the same reluctance to hope he often felt. Unable to promise anything he said, "I mean only to offer my insight. I do not know what influence I might have."


	5. Decision

**Envied Mortality Chapter 5: Decision**

**Part 1 ~Elienne**

When Elienne asked to sit in on the stately affairs recommendations, she had anticipated it might take hours, but as he promised, Haldir kept his responses to the point and did not engage in long drawn out hypotheticals, as her father was wont to do.

"Most elves refrain from wasting time with any agreement not likely to outlive the short life-span of the men who enter into it," Haldir said. "My recommendation is to better spend time devising dependable defensive means beyond reliance on an impenetrable forest… and warn those about to visit of potential impending ambushes."

"What sorts of defense?" her father asked.

Haldir removed a sketch he had drawn earlier and handed it over. "It's all outlined in there."

"Might we go over it? I would feel more comfortable."

"Go over it with your own March Warden, m'lord. I do not know these Easterlings as he."

"I could tell you..."

With an air of finality, her husband declared, "Experience is much more of worth than conjecture."

Elienne's father put the parchment aside and leaning forward on the table between them he asked, "If men lived longer, such as when the Dunedain were given to 300 - 500 years… could we then, possibly, experience trusted friendship as we elves did with Númenóreans?"

"It is a pointless question because it is not going to happen, but for the sake of presupposition, yes. Longevity of trust is the only way an alliance would be possible."

"Then I shall take your advice," her father said, reaching out to the pitcher of water to pour himself a glass. "I shall no longer attempt treaties with short-lived men."

Haldir glanced at Elienne and she shared his concern of the quick acquiesce. However, they could be off with today's sun if this discussion did not drag on, so she shrugged to her husband.

"Now, about Darimaetha," Haldir started.

"I am aware of her request," her father said abruptly. "It is unequivocally denied, and none of your concern. Her behavior is the whimsy of youth and she will out grow it as did Elienne, only this time under my supervision for none can love a daughter as well as her father. Case closed! I will not even discuss it."

He stood as if to emphasize his point and Haldir shifted his eyes to Elienne again.

"Father, we two agree that Lothlorien is not ready to receive Dari," she said. "And she did withdraw her request."

"I must say," Haldir added, "Darimaetha is blessed to have a father to champion her as you have just done. I pray someday she realizes your true worth to her."

"I knew you were a wise elf, Haldir," Bronian said and took his seat again. "But I was unaware of your generosity of blessings. In turn, I pray your love may compensate to Elienne for the grave errors I have done in not rearing her myself."

"A thousand times, I have forgiven you," Elienne urged. "And I hope you will forgive me for allowing Dari to bond to me so closely that my parting has done her damage. In that error I.."

"You too are forgiven, and it is settled," her father interrupted and stood again. "Lord Haldir, I recommend your party slip away unseen to avoid her drama."

The hurt of being cut off distracted Elienne a moment before she realized Haldir's eyes were on her. He lifted her to his notice as swiftly as she had been discarded from her father's. "Elienne had one more concern," he said.

Awkwardly her father sat again. Elienne struggled to speak to his unreceptive expression until her husband nodded encouragement.

"It may seem an unpleasant request… and likely it is inspired by my own guilt for abandoning her..." She took a breath and heard Haldir's disapproving hum. He waited for her questioning look before he spoke.

"Dispense with the disclaimer, my love," he said. "You are just in your recommendation."

With a deep breath she said, "Dari should gain another mentor to take my place. An elder fond of her…Galhadir has two daughters, both with lovely manners and full of joy. They could be good company and models for her, while their father could lend you aid and support."

Her father's countenance and posture seemed to protest, but he plastered on a ruse of a smile and said, "I will invite his counsel as soon as you are on your way."

"See to it before we leave," Haldir said, almost as a command. He put an arm around Elienne and said, "We insist."

A thumping on the door interrupted her father's obvious attempts to think through a counter point.

"After all my insistence we be left alone?" her father said with a chuckle.

When he stood, Haldir said softly to Elienne, "If intrusions are tolerated, that would explain our visit from Darimaetha during our bonding."

Her father smiled with slight shame, but his face lit up when he opened the door. "Ah! It is one from your house, Haldir!"

When Rúmil appeared, Haldir stood, alarmed, "What is it?"

With a shift in his eyes, Rúmil stated, "I wish to take part."

Confused Haldir asked, "Were you not told by the sentry that this was private council?"

"I was, but I believe my testimony valuable enough to be consulted, so I took the privilege of testing your grace."

"No further testimony is required. I sought and applied your consultation and my wife and I have already decided together."

"I have changed my position. I now believe the sisters should remain together until Darimaetha is of heart to separate. I have reasons, if you would listen."

"My sweet sprite has charmed the orc spawn!" Elienne's father exclaimed. He seemed to Elienne overly delighted at the notion as he exaggerated his gestures explaining, "Elhedel informed me she was trying, but given your age I did not think to worry. I suppose the strongest have fallen for lesser beauty."

Elienne felt something dark writhing in Haldir and when he shifted his position toward her father to speak, Rumil interjected. "Haldir rather than chastise his ignorance, hear me."

"My ignorance?" Bronian asked with a chuckle. "I suppose I am not alone in my fumbling for is one of the brother's you raised, is it not Lord Haldir?"

"It is," Haldir hissed. "Please excuse us as we step outside."

With her heart a flutter, Elienne watched the two of them exit, noting Haldir did not close the door behind him and his voice could be heard clearly from outside.

"While the lack of resistance shown by Feldor and Lemor was unexpected," he said, "Imagine my shock when my brother is accused of being influenced to insolence by an infant manipulator."

"It is empathy," Rúmil corrected.

"Championing the feelings of an elfling is not an acceptable excuse for the interruption of a kingly council! Your relation to me is of no consequence in that protocol. But as we are blessed with his grace, please, rationalize your direct contradiction of me in front of my father in law or I shall have to reevaluate you as my beacon of reason!"

"Her kind character runs contrary to her bad behavior," Rúmil explained.

"Which can be explained by the lack of sleep she has received in dread of her sister's departure. You are seeing her at her worst, just as you have been since this day has approached."

Rumil's voice grew quieter, as if he knew they were being heard. "I fear what ails her heart is a lack of peace, not a deficiency of discipline."

With a touch of sarcasm Haldir quipped, "Peace? And you think that I can provide her peace, as I have you?"

"This has nothing to do with me," Rúmil said.

"It does. And I cannot, alas; I WILL not have you disrupt a successful council with self-indulgent sulking!"

"Since when did the Emissary of Lothlorien begin arguing to protect his position rather than obtaining facts for interest in the truth?"

"What truth can you know, Rúmil? You have not spent but three days here!"

"Three days was sufficient for your decision to bond! All I have done is surmised a situation with which I am sorely familiar and dared to offer testimony that this elfling is a fragile soul trapped among the apathetic who deny her obvious suffering! Why forbid me from making my claims in front of her father and sister?"

There was a moment of silence and then Rúmil said loudly as if he had turned to the open door, "I thought you meant them to listen. Is that not why you are being selectively restrained in your scolding instead of taking me to the privacy of the wood for a proper rebuke?"

Bowing her head in her hand Elienne felt both embarrassed for her husband's ploy and guilty for how true Rúmil's words rang.

When there was no more from them, her father said, "This new brother of yours is worse than any bit of his reputation that reached us. I cannot imagine speaking to Haldir in that manner, and I have more right to it as a king!"

Elienne closed her eyes and waited uneasy until Haldir and Rúmil returned. With them was Galhadir, who they had already prepared prior to the meeting what would be asked of him. Her father's friend was cautious, and Rúmil listened in like a hawk to the suggestions Elienne and Haldir made for Dari's rearing.

Once the meeting was truly over and Rúmil had requested from Galhadir an exchange of reports on Dari's progress, Elienne attempted to praise his interest in her sister; his response was most unexpected.

"I do what custom permits, but it is not what heart demands."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I have at times nursed small moments of affection to keep kindness and compassion alive in my soul, but something else has awakened in me, M'lady, something far stronger which I am struggling to reign in."

"What is it?" she asked, searching his stone face.

"Do you trust Galhadir to stand up to your father when we are gone?" he asked.

Elienne glanced at the elder and remembering his earlier testimony about her father needing to learn, she said, "I hope so."

With the slightest flinch of emotion Rumil blinked.

Haldir and her father approached and Rumil stepped back and bowed to her. "I wish to formally welcome my new sister to our family, in all sincerity of heart," he said. He gazed directly into her eyes as he said in the warmest tone she'd ever heard him utter, "My brother is blessed to have solidarity with someone who understands and shares his heart's call. For bringing him that happiness, I endeavor to love you as well... whatever my temperament may be, I pledge you my loyalty and if I may, my affection." To the king he nodded ever so slightly, but did not even acknowledge his brother as he left.

Breathless Elienne turned to Haldir and said, "How could such kindness reside in a heart so often encased in bitterness?"

"I hardly believe him myself," her father scoffed, "His poem to your union was a ghastly rendition of romantic satire!"

Watching the empty doorway, Haldir answered, "It was a beautiful declaration, and I do not doubt his sincerity. Yet, I have no peace as to what it may mean. He is not himself."

**Part 2 ~ Feldor**

"Darimaetha, wait," Feldor called out, "That is the wrong way! You will hit a tree!"

She stopped in mid stride and her scarf-covered eyes turned towards him. "A game judge cannot conspire with the contestants, Feldor. I know what I heard!"

"Yes, but it was the call of a real bird, not Lemor!" he explained.

When she put her hands on her hips in disbelief, Feldor's brother let out a snickering laugh from across the small clearing. It was enough to solidly give him away and the princess took to running at him, her hands outstretched before her.

"Slow down or you will fall!" Feldor called. "This game is meant to train precision not speed!"

She did not listen and the sight of her coming so quickly and with light stumbles tickled Lemor so that by the time she reached him he was holding his belly with laughter, unable or unwilling to move. She collided straight into him; the two of them tumbling into the tall grass. Feldor jogged towards them, his ability to find the humor of it tempered by his concern for their welfare.

When he arrived he saw Dari had taken off the scarf and with slight panting breaths was laying on her stomach across Lemor's chest. His brother was not complaining about being pinned down either.

Looking down upon them, Feldor announced, "Though foiled by a finch joining our game, your perception of his direction was well done, Darimaetha. And you certainly had no trouble finding Lemor, so two points for you. That means you have beaten his score by one."

"She heard me laughing the entire way, we are tied!" Lemor said, his eyes steady on his female opponent. "I demand a rematch!"

Feldor put his hand down to her and Dari took it to stand.

"Perhaps we should select a call of a creature that does not make its home in these woods," she said. "Lemor's talent at mimicking is superior to my ears distinguishing." She turned her eyes upon the easily flattered fool and he cooed like a dove drawing an exaggerated sigh from the princess. "So lovely... How could any lady not come running to that call?"

Ignoring the exchange, Feldor agreed, "For the game it can be done, but so you know, the point in a secret call is as much mimicry of local life as listening. An orc or even a man may know the nesting habits of the birds or animals in a particular area. We must remain true to the environment to become one with it."

"You speak with such pretension," Lemor said, sitting up. "You are no elder, Feldor. You are elder to us less than a a blink of Galadriel!"

"What does age matter?" Feldor asked, annoyed. "We would follow Lady Darimaetha's instruction where she to teach us something she knew that we did not."

"Would you really?" Dari said and took his hand, pulling him down to sit in the grass beside Lemor. "Perhaps you should ask me what I know instead of bickering like old women."

"Old women?" Lemor asked

"It is likely a direct translation from the common tongue," Feldor suggested. "'Old' as in near death rather than a significant accumulation of centuries… Women our age in years may be considered old to men, but only if they are wise do they also become 'elders'. Am I right?"

"Close enough," Dari said.

"So what is 'bicker' if you know so much about the common tongue?" Lemor asked him.

"Bicker," he said, "Bicker…" he repeated it as if the meaning would suddenly appear to him. "I know more of culture and grammar than vocabulary," he said. "Enlighten me?"

"It means to argue about insignificant matters. Elders think themselves above pettiness so we do not have an equivalent in Sindarin, but in my own observation, 'old' elves try the trivial just as mundanely as men, they merely use imagery to decorate their debates.

Feldor did not necessarily agree, but her manner of speech made him smile.

"Tell us more!" Lemor begged. "Did you eat with them? I have heard men eat all day long if they can!"

"That is hobbits!" she said, laughing and glanced up. Her joy saddened immediately and she asked, "What is that expression Rúmil wears? I cannot read it."

"He has but one," Lemor grumbled, "your guess is as good as ours."

"He does not look pleased, we may be in for a lecture."

"He is never pleased, that is what I mean!" Lamer chuckled.

"Are his lectures terrible?" Dari asked.

"Worse than a whipping," Lemor said. "But shorter than a shot of ale."

The three of them stood and walked to meet him.

"Lady Darimaetha, I request your audience. Will you grant me your attention?"

"Go ahead, speak," she said.

"You will address me as Lord Rúmil and you are not to issue commands to elders."

Feldor watched Darimaetha stiffen in frustration and feared she may be recoiling to lash out. Instead she said, "You have my full attention, Lord Rúmil."

"Do you consider these two trustworthy for testimony?" he asked.

"They seem sincere," she said. "Why, is there going to be a trial?"

"I put myself up for your consideration," Rúmil said. "I am altogether unpleasant. My patience, tone and grace are short. I do not tolerate insubordination, willful ignorance or liars. I speak only what needs to be spoken and prefer the same from those who engage me. But I am fair, honest, faithful and I have studied under dozens of masters of trade and a few scholars of philosophy… including Vala Nienne who has taught me mercy for those who suffer. When I am the only suitable teacher, I fulfill my duty to pass on what I have learned and my few students have both been successful and appreciative. My loyalty is to my family first and then My Lady, her husband and our wood. Anyone else in Middle Earth matters nothing to me." Turning to Feldor and Lamer he asked, "Does this ring true?"

"Yes," Lemor said nodding with curious fascination.

Feldor found agreement difficult and said, "You are not unpleasant all of the time."

Dari suppressed a smile and covered her mouth as Rúmil responded. "I forgot to mention, I admit when I am wrong. Unpleasant is a personal opinion. Thank you, Feldor. Would you argue with any of the rest?"

"Not enough to invalidate it," Feldor said.

Peeved slightly, Rúmil turned back to Dari and asked, "Do you accept that you have been truthfully informed of my character?"

"I believe you and your witnesses are being honest," she said, "But if I am to be judge, I prefer to rely on my own observation of character… over time to test consistency and the evidence in context."

Her rejection seemed to thwart whatever plan Rúmil was preparing and when the length of his pause became awkward, Feldor glanced at his brother just as he asked, "Consideration for what, Lord Rumil?"

Rúmil ignored him and said to Dari, "We do not have the luxury of time. To respect your wise inclinations against making rash decisions based on insufficient information, I _should_ postpone my proposal and withdrawal from your attention." He took a breath, and as if it caused him tangible pain, continued.

"However, if I may beg your grace to allow me to proceed there may be a chance that you could make an exception, if you judge it is warranted."

She blinked lightly and then nodded him on. His tone became apologetic as he switched their roles.

"You, Lady Darimaetha, are undisciplined, unkempt, and in want of basic education on protocol. I know nothing of your skills or aptitude in the basics of elvendom, but to my witness, you have exceeding grace and empathy with a grasp of logic seldom seen in one so young. With an understanding mentor, this combination of traits promises your potential as a quick learning student in whatever trade you endeavor to pursue."

In the distant a bell rang and, Rúmil added quickly, "I shall have to make this offer succinct. Given the testimony you have heard, please consider a basic apprenticeship under my charge."

She stared at him for the longest while, opened her mouth, closed it and then glanced at the brothers before looking down.

Abruptly Rúmil turned on them and said, "Thank you for your witness. Please leave us to privacy."

"But we want to know her answer!" Lemor declared, driving even more tension into Rúmil's face.

Feldor took his brother by the wrist and pulled him away. Disappointment weighted Lemor's footfalls as they left the field.

"There you are!" Haldir said, coming at them. "Did you not hear the bells? We are trying to leave before the falling darkness." He looked behind them and added, "I was told you two were with Elienne's sister? My bride would like to see her before we leave."

"She is with Lord Rúmil," Feldor started. Haldir left them immediately for the field.

**Part 3 ~Dari**

"Now will you answer?" Rúmil asked her.

"I appreciated your offer M'Lord, but…" she started, trembling and cloudy of thought.

"Of course, I will accept a refusal," he said. "I would only ask for a reason."

"My sister and my father have made it clear that I do not have a choice, so what do my reasons matter?"

"Whatever you have been told, you are of age and your life is your own. I made this offer as much for the opportunity to find peace in my concern for your welfare as to demonstrate to you how to exercise your decision should you prefer to seek a mentor other than myself."

Dari let out a disgusted laugh. "My father would never allow it, Rúmil…. Lord Rúmil. He would say 'nonsense' and that would be that."

"Any decent mentor would not bow to the whims of a parent once a mature student was accepted," he assured.

"I have yet to see anyone stand up to him when his mind is set."

"Than you must select someone you judge would."

Dubious, she challenged, "Would you? You cannot bend the will of your own brother!"

"I have not yet unleashed on Haldir in this matter. With your consent, I would."

"Rúmil!" Haldir called from the edge of the field.

He was not running, but his pace was steady, straight and stern like the march of a warden on the way to battle.

"You must decide," he insisted.

"Were my choice to include death as an option, I would take it," she blurted out.

Rúmil took a step nearer and he warned in a hush, "Fear is not a trustworthy witness, Dari! Search your heart, you know what you want, you only have to ask for it."

"We are ready," Haldir said when he arrived. Rúmil stepped back and Haldir added, "Elienne is looking for you, Darimaetha."

Dari met Rumil's eyes and try as she might, she could not speak it. Instead, she lifted her skirt enough to run and fled to do her duty as bravely as she might.

Battling her emotions through saying goodbye to her sister and her two new friends was simple compared to being embraced by the gloating king. With her father's huge arm around her shoulder, she listened to what Galhadir and his daughters had to offer.

"Is it agreeable?" Elienne asked.

Dari nodded but when her sister was being lifted to her horse, her father bemoaned, "Just watching her leave again... I must have a bit of time with you before the new arrangement takes place; to ease the pain."

Haldir was kind as he explained his intention for her to visit as it could be arranged, but when they were all on their horses save Rúmil, she noted how he did not approach her, but instead spoke to Galhadir.

"Write to me of your progress on threat of an unpleasant visit from me." All he did then was give her a nod and with that unwitting slight came a sinking loneliness worse than the prepared departure of her sister.

"Good bye, Darimeatha," Elienne said. "I will write you a note by dove as soon as I arrive. The carriers know the way so well by now you should have it the day after, I'm sure."

She did not answer, her heart was pounding too hard. Her sister blew her a kiss, waved to their parents and turned to Haldir. Feldor and Lemor followed on their horses next, glancing down on her with sadness. They did not say goodbye and she reached up just in time for Lemor to lift his hand to touch her fingers.

Her father pulled her back before they touched and said with a laugh, "Leave them alone, you flirt."

Rúmil rode past staring ahead and everything he had said and done felt to be slipping away.

"Goodbye Rúmil," she said, wanting at least one last moment of his attention. He did not turn. "Rúmil!" she called out. Again, no response. This time her father squeezed her shoulder with a hum and others around mumbled their disapproval that he would ignore her. Dari felt her face flushing and then she remembered his order to her and in a loud, trembling voice she called.

"Lord Rúmil, may I please have a moment of your attention?"

When his horse stopped, Dari thought she would lose strength in her legs, but instead she pulled away from her father's grip. She went forward and added a slight bow as she faced him. The other horses were stopped by their riders as well.

She looked up at him on his mount, too frightened to speak and feeling a fool.

"You may have my attention for as long as you need, Lady Darimaetha," he said.

The hope and kindness he showed her seemed to cast away the shadows she had just been in. She smiled and let out a sigh. Taking him at his word, Dari closed her eyes and tried to remember all he had said and then took a breath.

"I have been a terrible student and I have not learned from my mentors as I could have." She looked at his stern face and pressed on. "I am undisciplined, unskilled, self-centered and have continuously teased, flirted and been inappropriate regardless of how it hurts others."

"You owe him no apology!" her father said coming forward. "Whatever he has said, or judged of you, he is leaving, what does it matter what he thinks?"

She looked up at Rúmil who raised a single brow and it filled her with boldness to continue with a strong voice.

"In our time together, you have shown me patience, tolerated my ignorance and given me guidance. You spoke truth and you believed me where others have not." Haldir made a sound of approval and she glanced at him.

"You are very kind to speak such generous compliments," Haldir said. "I warn, do not expect a response in kind. Though, I am sure my brother appreciates your acknowledgment."

"Lady Darimaetha addressed me formally," Rúmil said to him. "I should like her to be able to finish without interruption."

"Of course," Haldir said and raised a hand in apology.

"Go on, m'lady," Rúmil said said to her.

"I want you to be my mentor," she blurted out. A collective gasp went out over those gathered. "If you will have me, I will be... better."

"Nonsense!" her father said. "You have a new mentor!" He turned to Galhadir and said, "I apologize for her insulting disregard to your willing sacrifice. As I said, she is hardly worthy of you."

Elienne dismounted and approached. "It is unfair to lay this burden on our new brother," she said. "Even if the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien welcome you, I will not resume my mentoring of you… Haldir and I are planning to start a family of our own. There will be no room. We will send for you to see them when they come, I promise."

"Grandchildren!" her father declared. "It is no wonder Haldir has rejected you, Dari! Oh, but I am so pleased, Elienne... why did you two hide this great joy from me?"

When their crushing discussion immediate broke focus from Dari's proposal, she thought for certain she would do as always, and disappear into the shadow of her sister's glow. As shrunk in stature and was about to step back to duck away, she felt Rumil's hand on her shoulder and looked up at him.

"Do you hear them, Lady Darimaetha?" he asked. She nodded and he gained some attention from the others as he spoke very loudly. "If there is no room in Lothlorien for us, even if we must travel to the far reaches of Middle Earth to find a home, I concede. I will be your mentor."

"Just a moment!" her father said. "She is not going anywhere without my approval! And I will not have your shiver of a soul contaminate her with your cruelty!"

Dari stepped back against Rúmil's leg, wrapping her arm around it for security.

"She is of age," Rúmil said with cool confidence. "She gave a proper, well informed inquiry. How could I not be moved?" To the rest there he announced, "I have heard one complaint regarding my temperament. The lady is well aware of it and dismissed it. If any believe that I am unfit for other reasons, I will permit my student to listen to their counsel, but my acceptance stands regardless."

"Unfit is putting it mildly," Haldir said, directing Sullendry to step around the other horses. Dari was overwhelmed by the impossibly tall mounted guardian and looked directly into the eye of his horse; a friend who she trusted beyond most elves.

"I have been patient with your disapproval and generous in your entertaining of our new sister's melodrama. But I sniff a conspiracy here that reeks of treason," Haldir barked.

"It was not conspiracy," Rumil assured. "I was training her how to approach a mentor and she has exceeded even my expectations."

"Do not mistake your giving model to coercion as proof you can teach this sprite a lick of sense. She knows what she has to gain here, and the moment you attempt to force a lesson she does not cherish it will be the end of this little charade."

Rumil, still calm said, "What is it to you, even if I fail? This is a decision between student and mentor..."

"After all my sacrifice to help you succeed?" Haldir interrupted.

Sullendry's sad blink as his head cast down told Dari that Haldir spoke truth. She looked up at Rumil and defiantly he stood his ground.

"I never asked it of you," he said softly.

"You will be defying the laws of our Lady bringing her home!" Haldir said, waving his hand to Dari. "She gave me soul discretion not you."

"I will take that chance," Rúmil said. He reached down and Dari felt a gentle grip under her arm. With a light push from her toes, she hopped and he pulled her up behind him.

"I can _not_ allow this," Haldir said. "Neither of you are of sound mind, heart or spirit."

Rumil looked away for a moment and then said, "When you presumptuously dropped this untamed youth at my door, you promised that I might have anything I asked. You repeated it for emphasis - anything." Haldir shook his head in warning and Rúmil said, "I ask not for your permission or acceptance, merely that you do not try to prevent us from returning. For I do not wish to fight you."

There were many more murmurs and Dari gripped Rumil's tunic fearful as much for what her father's court was thinking as for what was going to happen.

Aghast, Haldir tried to steady his stomping steed. "Fight me? You would not dare!" Haldir said. "I would crush you!"

With deathly seriousness, Rúmil put his hand on his hilt and snapped, "You would _try_."


	6. Betrayed Trust

****Envied Mortality Chapter 6: Betrayed Trust****

**Part 1 ~Haldir**

Hoping to calm his brother, Haldir formally referenced their audience.

"Lord Rumil, in the interest of public welfare, I must ask before all of these beloved citizens of Darkwood if you are certain a conflict of this nature is…"

"Spare me your postured speech, I know exactly what I am doing," Rúmil interrupted. "State your intention so I may see to the safety of my charge before you strike me down." Murmurs erupted and Haldir hesitated, but his brother insisted, "Know this, if we battle today, I will _not_ submit to you. I choose death over domination!"

"Where is the logic in such a futile sacrifice?" Haldir reasoned. "Your pupil would remain in Darkwood either way, only with one less friend in the world."

"What she gains from my death is for Lady Darimaetha to decide, not you." Rumil's horse turned with a step and Haldir empathized when he saw Elienne's young sister was wrought with confusion; clinging to her new champion as if for life.

"He cannot beat me, Dari," Haldir told her.

Rumil's visage instantly became reminiscent of the hatred spawned in him by his orc initiation and behind him, unaware, Dari buried her face in his back and reached around placing her hand upon his heart.

"Speak to _me_, coward!" Rúmil ordered, his eyes darkening to a horrid steel gray of doom. In showcase of his deadly determination, Rúmil slightly unsheathed his sword, revealing a sliver of silver. Through his teeth he seethed, "I will have peace today, however it may come!"

Devastated by his brother's regression, Haldir considered the possibility that he had been wrong all these years; that healing was too elusive for one so afflicted. But when he put his hand on his own hilt, the necessity of that fatal outcome did not yet claim his conviction.

In a personal plea that none here would understand, Haldir stated his intention. "You are my brother!" he shouted. "I could not kill you in the dungeons of Moria and I will not stain the stones of Darkwood with your blood now!"

Rúmil shuddered at the memory and when he blinked, his dark eyes returned to their natural blue.

Breathless at the abated danger, Haldir continued, "Consider this proposal. If peace from the weight of your pain is what you seek, do not risk dragging this young one into your mire of madness. Leave her with her family and follow your heart home to Valinor. I will forgive you for breaking trust between us today and I forever release you from any sworn duty to me."

Instead of the relief he had hoped to secure, Rúmil seemed to light anew on fire.

"_You_ accuse _me_ of breaking trust?" he shouted and completely withdrew his sword from its hold.

Regrettably Haldir did the same, garnering a loud whinny from Sullendry. Discontent rose among the others as they too recognized the sincere danger; most backed away, some left the courtyard altogether.

"Your conceit is unfathomable," Rúmil went on. He held his blade steady and high, while holding the hand that belonged to his now weeping companion. "My council you take when it suits you, but in a thousand years I stand up for _one_ counter request and the truth becomes known! You never wanted me to find my own causes in this world... I am more a project to you than a brother; and you seek my healing only as a trophy of glory on your mantel of good deeds..."

"That is a vile lie from the depths of your pain!" Haldir fumed, his voice thundering in outrage. "And if you doubt my sincerity, I will cast down my sword and you may slice open my chest to examine the beating of my heart's devotion!"

When the clank of his weapon hit the stones Rúmil startled and then stared at it. He took a breath and then adjusted the grip on the hilt of his own upraised sword.

Silence fell, save for Dari's soft weeping and the hooves of their unsettled horses.

Finally, in his own trembling voice Rúmil said, "Grant me autonomy and I will believe the trust between us flows in both directions."

Stumped at his brother's resistance, Haldir examined Rumil's earnest expression. And then, it was his own hesitancy that pierced him sharper than the point of steel would have. It was true; he did not trust his own brother. He believed Rúmil would do more harm to this youth than help; but more so, that the weight of that damage would fall on Haldir's own shoulders.

He gazed down and admitted, "I am unfit to serve as your authority; my own fears dominate my decisions."

"I do not need your permission to enter the wood with an apprentice," Rúmil said with calm. "I am every bit a trusted guardian to our Lady as you. I fear her eyes no more than I do your sword."

Haldir finally heard what was being said. He accepted the request with a nod, spoke to the observers. "My brother and his pupil shall face Our Lord and Lady in Lothlorien without opposition."

As soon as Rúmil nervously sheathed his weapon, King Bronian jumped into the fray.

"Without a word from me?" He turned on his daughter and spat, "Lady Galadriel's eyes will see into your soul, Dari! This discord between these nobles is the same Darkwood sees daily from your influence! Do you believe she will let in the likes of you to disrupt her wood?"

Haldir was so taken aback by the cruelty of the accusation from father to daughter that he could not compose a response. He looked to Rumil to do it, but his brother was not shocked in the least; he wore rather, an expression of validation. Was this what he was rescuing her from; her own father?

"Ada," Elienne said soothingly. "What is this worry of yours that so troubles you to burden Dari? If she is not allowed into Lothlorien, as you suppose, why not merely invite them to return!"

Haldir's amazing bride then turned to Rúmil and pleaded, "Dear brother, I am humbled at the affection and valor with which you defend she who is most dear to me. Please ease my father's anxiety and promise him that if you are wrong and Galadriel will not have you, that you will return to Darkwood to be her mentor?"

Rúmil glanced back at Haldir with satisfaction before he answered. "Of course I agree to such a sensible proposal, M'Lady."

"I do _not_," Bronian went on miserably. He lunged toward his daughter, but Rúmil backed his horse quickly. "You will stay here!" her father ordered her. "Keep your new teacher with you if you must, but I will not lose another daughter from my wood! You know what I have done for you, what I have _sacrificed_..." He began go choke up as he finished, "Was it all for _nothing?_ Do you want me to fade away and die, just like your mother?"

Rúmil's head had turned to watch Dari out of the corner of his eye, but her face was cast down. For all that happened between the brothers, it would be ironic to now have her give up the place so passionately earned for her.

"Think of your mother," Bronian went on. "Is her death for nothing?"

Dari let out a sob and Haldir watched Rúmil turn his gaze away, seething at the unfair burden placed on her; but controlled in his response. When Haldir turned to observe Elienne's reaction, he noticed movement of a black figure behind the trees. His heart was warned at first until he saw the flowing skirts and veil enter the scene.

When Bronian saw her, he froze and Elienne turned to say, "Mother?"

She responded to her daughter with only a touch of her pale hand from under the smoky, transparent silk. Then her voice, like a whisper in the trees bade Rúmil, "What you have done here has permitted not just your own peace, but mine as well." At first only her head turned slightly towards her husband and then, his mouth opened in shock, he waited until she came around to face him completely and ordered, "Let her go."

Bronian shook his head, more in resignation than defiance, but allowed his wife to take his hand and lead him away.

Quickly, Dari dropped from the horse and ran to her mother. She embraced her with sobs that moved Haldir's own eyes to tear.

"Do not fear the Lady of Light," the effervescent voice soothed. She took her daughter's face in her hand and said, "When we meet again, there will be no more suffering. I will give what last love I have in this world to your father... You are free."

Dari smiled as her tears were wiped away and the she turned and walked slowly toward Rúmil. Back at her mentor's side she said softly, "May I bring a few of my things with us, Lord Rúmil?"

"Yes, of course," he said. She started to turn and he said, "Wait." He dismounted and Haldir could see the relief in her posture as he went with her. It was doubtful anyone would interfere, but the gesture was monumental.

Dismounting with an avalanche of emotion, Haldir retrieved his sword from the stones. While those around stared at him, what stood out more than his own humiliation at his vanity or his grief in the extreme sorrow of this situation, was something that brightened it all beyond any of the rest; he was proud of his brother.

Though the severing of Rúmil's constant dependence felt like the loss of a limb, as Haldir re-sheathed the sword, he knew in his heart, whatever the outcome, Rúmil was ready to be on his own. This was the beginning of an entirely new family dynamic.

**Part 2 ~ Elienne**

After two days on a slow pace of hiding and silence, relief came within Gondor's borders where their lives were not as at risk and their attention could wander from constant wariness. Dari had ridden with Rúmil for only half their way out of Darkwood before Sully made his appearance to bear her. She was grateful he had chosen her over the familiar wood, but Sullendry had given him a snorting rebuke, likely for not being in the stables when they had searched and almost left him.

"I plan for us to rest this evening," Haldir said as if conducting business.

He had been tracking behind them to be sure they were not followed, but now rode leisurely beside her as they watched the three young ones trotting before them in light conversation. Rúmil was scouting far ahead and was due back soon.

"Your sister is showing signs of wear," he continued. "How are you faring?"

"I could use a few hours in your arms," Elienne said.

Releasing his posture of duty with a chuckling sigh, Haldir agreed. "Aye… that is a luxury I would like to explore as well." More seriously he added, "I intend to avoid all disagreements with Rúmil while in the wild. If he will take night watch without complaint, it will be so, if not we shall wait."

"I could ask him," she said. Through their bond she felt his insecurity flutter. "He seems to like my suggestions."

"Agreed; you handled him quiet well in Darkwood," he said.

"Somebody had to," she teased.

Haldir chuckled, even more relaxed and said, "It is so strange this connection we share! I can feel your unconditional acceptance, but I receive little comfort until I hear your voice making light mock of my foolishness."

"Foolish is not how anyone else saw your display," Elienne said. "While you were nurturing the worry of the young brothers, Galhadir told me to tell you that the humble and public admission of error by a great lord, especially one who is also a powerful warrior, was needed in our realm." He reached out to her hand and she gave it as she added, "I still sense some self-judgment in your heart?"

"It is vanity," he admitted. "I concede that my resolved folly could be useful for the good, but ... I'd have preferred your court see me with an open heart and not needing to be chastised by my younger brother."

Elienne hummed her understanding and then weighed a question she had been contemplating; she felt him touch it in her mind and she invited him to see her concern.

"I am under oath not to share the details of what Rúmil endured in Moria," Haldir said softly. "It is unspeakable what he witnessed... I can share my own trauma." She nodded and he took in a breath, relaying the story with cool efficiency.

"When my father and I found them, I did not see her, but my father, upon witnessing my mother's body, killed her and then in his grief, himself as well."

Elliene's heart tightened at the thought and watched in awe as Haldir remained unemotional.

"His last words to me were that it was too late for Rúmil. He told me to have mercy for his suffering and take his life..."

"And you couldn't?" she asked.

"I don't think he's ever forgiven me," Haldir said. "When I brought him to Rivendell, Lord Elrond acted on my pleas to save him; despite Rumil's death wish... Sometimes I think he's still looking for a noble reason to die. "

Thinking of her own inability to reach her sister Elienne said, "He must have felt so helpless, and hopeless in that dungeon... perhaps in Dari, he's found a reason to live?"

"Perhaps," Haldir said, thoughtfuly then asked, "If I may, do you know what sacrifice was your father talking about to Dari?"

"No...that was the first I heard of it as well. As I said, the more I probe the further she slips away. I fear to even ask her."

"Rúmil noticed the burden put on her, I assure you. When he has won her trust, she may share it wit him."

Just then, Rúmil returned from scouting. He gave a signal that all was clear and took his place riding in front of the party. Feldor took to his side without a word and so they rode by twos.

"I can feel your love for him and that you trust him, but I must hear the words," Elienne said, and then whispered, "Is she safe with him? I sensed such darkness... is he healed enough?"

"Only our Lady will know for sure, but.. Consider how he is with Feldor and Lemor. At first he was aloof, but now... Orophin says he is like a reluctant nanny; very protective of their hearts as well as the persons." Haldir smirked and looked at her as he added, "Though he would never admit it, of course, I think he's actually fond of them."

Elienne smiled back and watched before her as her sister laughed with Lemor.

"Look at how they are with her; there is no judgment in their eyes," she said. Meeting Haldir's gaze she said, "Perhaps Dari only needs a place where she can start over with those who don't know her past mistakes?"

"I hope it's that simple," Haldir said. But she could feel in his spirit he did not think it was.

**Part 3 ~Dari**

By the time night fell and camp was set in a grouping of trees beside a tall cliff, tension regarding the sleeping arrangements finally bid Dari to speak. In the dimming light she discretely approached Rúmil beside his horse as he searched through his packs.

"Lord Rúmil, may I have a moment of your attention?" she whispered.

He paused and turned to her. "I am your mentor, Darimaetha, unless I request privacy, my attention is always yours and you may address me without asking permission."

"Elienne and Haldir have claimed their space together a distance away and Feldor and Lemor are expecting me to rest near them. I understand you will be going up on the cliff to keep watch?"

"Yes," he said. "Haldir is the lead of our traveling party and that was his direction. "

She thought the hint would be enough but when he said nothing else she started to fidget with her belt.

"Verbalize your concern," he said.

Dari shivered at the chill of the night coming and said, "You know my affliction!"

"Yes and I requested the brothers be set near you. Is that insufficient?"

It was, but knowing he had tried made her feel guilty for complaining and she started to turn to go.

"Dari, I am your mentor not your parent," he said. She stopped and looked at him. "Do you know the difference?"

"You teach me a trade?" she asked.

"Forgive me, it's I who should have clarified our relationship," he said. "An apprentice follows the demonstration of a master to learn a trade. If there ever is a skill you wish to learn, I would train you or find a master for you. As a mentor, I am more of a general guide leading you through the difficulties of your coming of age and into maturity. I am also your provider. Which means you can count on me as a constant companion who will make arrangements for your basic needs and counsel."

He paused, again as if waiting for her to respond and she noted his expression bordered on frustration and looked at the ground.

"I am not going to guess your every need, concern or fear," he said. "That is what mothers of elflings do. Instead, you must admit directly to me when you need my help." He put a hand on her shoulder and his soft touch lessened all of the tension she felt. "It may be more difficult, but you must also trust that I will help."

"I cannot sleep among those who may not understand why I speak out or wake in a terror; it might frighten them. I could try to explain to them first, but I am already so tired... and what if they didn't believe me or argued that I made it up for attention?"

"At some point we can discuss your situation with our family, but I agree, tonight is not the right time. For now there is no need to divulge our reasoning for changing the sleeping arrangements." He looked up at the cliff and said, "The ledge I've chosen is wide enough for two. You can rest by my side, if you like."

"Sleep up there!" she said, breathless. He went back to his pack, unconcerned and retrieved a blanket that he put it in a carry pack. He placed it around his shoulder and took out a rope. She gave a nervous laugh as she asked, "How is falling to my death better than nightmares?"

Rúmil began to unwind the rope and said, "You will be strapped to me. You will not fall."

"What if I do and bring you down with me!" she said.

"That will not happen... if you do not trust me, I will tell Haldir I have changed my mind and he needs to take watch."

"Dari!" Lemor said, coming around the horse to them. "Feldor and I have set up a place for you between us! There will be no fire, but we will be warm together!"

The sound of anticipation in his voice was enough to motivate Dari to the lesser of the dangers.

"I will take slumber with my mentor this evening," she said. "Thank you for the generous offer."

Lemor glanced at up at Rúmil and said, "I thought we needed a look out?"

"We do," he answered, handling the rope. Lemor's eyes grew wide as Rúmil wrapped it around Dari's waist twice and then crisscrossed over her chest as a harness. Dari kept her eyes on the younger elf until he took a step back and walked away, likely too dumbfounded to speak, and somewhat disappointed.

"Excellent ruse of bravery," he said. He left some slack in two lengths coming from her and began fastening a harness on himself.

Dari touched the soft rope and wondered at its slight glow as she dismissed his compliment, "I only pretended so he would not protest on my behalf and talk me out of it."

Rúmil paused and looked into her eyes. She thought he would say something on it, but instead he asked, "Have you ever climbed anything before?"

"Trees," she said. When he hesitated, she added without details, "And walls..."

He studied her reaction, but did not pry. "Good enough," he said softly. "I have left you enough slack to climb behind me a few steps. Watch my footing and match it."

When they walked to the cliff, she felt a pain in her stomach and said more in surprise to herself, "I'm hungry." He looked at her as if waiting for something. Dari rolled her eyes and asked, "Do you have a suggestion for what I can eat, Lord Rúmil?"

"A display of disrespect earns no elder's favor," he said. "And instructing one who lacks humility is a fool's errand. My expectation is that you will be impatient with me, for learning is a challenging process, however, in the future, displaying disrespect let alone condescension will be rewarded with silence until you amend your habit."

"Understood," she mumbled.

"To be sure, will you repeat what I have just said, starting with…"

"Rúmil, are you ready?" Haldir asked, approaching.

"Just a moment, we are going over a lesson," he said. Dari wanted no more lecture and when Haldir surmised the situation she hoped to provide distraction by smiling at him and running her hand over the rope around her waist.

"By the wood, what are you thinking, Rúmil?" he asked with a chuckle. "She is the reason we are stopping for rest, you cannot train her to stand guard tonight!"

"That is not what I am doing," Rúmil said.

"Then may I inquire why you are taking her up the cliff?" Haldir asked. "Elienne will not be able to sleep if she does not have a good explanation."

"If Elienne had seen to Darimaetha well enough when she was in charge of her, she would not question my actions," he snapped. "As it is, you both will have to accept my decision on the matter without explanation." Dari bristled at Rúmil's tone against Elienne and when he turned back to her, he said softly, "Please excuse the interruption, Darimaetha and repeat the point of my lesson."

Dari watched Haldir over his shoulder as she said, "You told me to show respect for my elders and not to speak with impatience." Haldir pressed his lips together as if suppressing his amusement and she looked back at Rúmil, smiling at his obvious hypocrisy.

His eyes glazed in thought, and then he turned to Haldir and said, "I apologize for my rudeness. In the future I request that you allow me to finish my lesson with my student before interrupting to question my competency. I will share our reasons for this arrangement in time, for now we require privacy."

"Of course," Haldir said with a slight bow and a smirk. "I apologize for my presumption and humbly accept your apology."

It was an awkward ending to the interaction, and as Rúmil led her away, Haldir gave Dari a wink.

They silently moved to the base of the cliff and Dari glanced over the distance to the brothers who were eating. The temptation to tease her new friends had grown all day as the younger was so overt in his interest while the elder, remained shy but handsome; already she could sense a rivalry between them for her affections.

What if her father was right? What if she would only ever cause discord? Again her stomach ached for her guilt as much as for their food.

"Are you ready?" Rúmil asked.

"Might we... could I..." she started. "Do you have anything I could eat... or do I have to earn it?"

Without any expression, Rumil reached into a flap of his tunic and pulled out a leaf of lembas bread. "When we reach the ledge, you may have this as your reward."

With the hope of a meal, Dari felt warm gratitude spring to her heart. "Thank you, Lord Rúmil," she said. He put the bread away without a word and began to instruct her on climbing principles.

The first half way up she found her footing easily until she became distracted by a bat and failed to follow where his foot had last set. She struggled to find something secure to grasp until the rope between them became taut.

Finally she broke down and asked, "Where did you last step?"

"It is impossible for me to tell," he said. "You will have to let me lift you."

"No!" she said, searching the flat surface in the dark until she came upon a tiny crevice. "I have something, let me try."

Holding on with just the tips of her fingers, she took a step up and, slipped. She was careful enough not to cry out as her arm and foot detached, leaving her to rely on the rope to stay on the cliff.

"I will move us upward," he said calmly, "Tell me when you find a place to hold."

As she rose, pulled up by the rope, her heart thumped in fear that he too might slip. But watching his feet, it became obvious and she stepped into a crevice with her foot, feeling secure on her own again. "I got it!" she said. She remained steady until they reached the platform on the cliff face, which was only two bodies wide.

He held her arm as she came over the ledge and then he took the rope and slipped it around a rock jutting out of the side.

Dari looked out over where they had been traveling and Rúmil said, "It is dark as far as the eye can see in every direction. That is a good sign we will not encounter those who do not expect us, but meaningless if we are being tracked by elf-hunters." He gave a bird call down and heard a similar one in response.

"Thank you for saving my life," she said.

"I no more saved your life than I put it in danger," he said. "I told you I would not let you fall and I meant it as surely as your horse can carry you. Climbing is nothing to me; I could carry the weight of Lemor, Feldor and you up this cliff at one time if there was need."

"But even a horse cannot bear a poor rider who slips off!" she said.

"I carried Haldir, unconscious up a tree, once. I had no rope either. It wasn't exactly graceful, but he's by far the largest elf in Middle Earth."

She smiled and asked, "Why not tell me that before we started? I would not have been so afraid!"

"You told me you make judgments based on personal experience, not testimony," he said, handing her the lembas. She took the gift and shivered in the wind.

"It doesn't mean I don't want the reassurance," she said, breaking off a small bite. "Do you want any?"

He shook his head and then lay the blanket down behind him. "Lie here. If sleep does not come, let me know. Otherwise I will not disturb you."

After she carefully positioned herself on her side, facing him, he pulled the blanket about her shoulders and moved to sit against her. At first she was uneasy with his touch, but quickly she realized, his warmth was as good as any fire and the position made her feel secure.

…

The light of morning woke Dari before she realized she had fallen asleep. A hand lay on her head and he hushed her with a finger to his lips. "Men are near," he whispered.

"Who?" she asked in kind.

"I saw only their shadows hours ago but Haldir has given a call that he can smell them, and I think I can too," he said. Perched as a hawk scouring the trees below, Rúmil moved only his eyes and barely seemed to breathe.

Dari tried to take in the scent as well, to see if Gondorians might be more pleasant than Easterlings, but she detected only the elder elf whose wrist was just two finger widths from her nose. The scent of most elves tended towards crisp laurel with elders reminding her of moss. Elienne reminded her of rose and her mother who was once heavy with lilac more recently took on the air of the dried flowers in their preservation room. Dari had been told by Galhadir that she brought back to him the joy of jasmine, but there were no such flowers in Darkwood for her to know.

There was something different to Rúmil. As she sniffed it seemed almost of pond. She felt his fingers in her hair move and when she opened her eyes she saw his eyes were on her.

"Some elves find my scent foul."

"Not me," she lied.

"That is fortunate, for we may often need to share close spaces."

In the midst of his sentence came the sound of a hoot owl and suddenly he turned toward her, covering them with his cloak. There was something too intimate about the position, and she froze in fear more of his proximity than of being shot with an arrow.

Her face pressed against his neck, it did not take long before she found her senses inspired by a warmer, more favorable scent. Here, near the crevice of his collar there was no hint of an old decaying water hold, but rather she could imagine a patch of meadow, warmed by the sun.

"You are so sweet, my Lord!" she said.

"Shh," he said.

Dari obeyed, at first, but as the time in this position lengthened, her memory wandered to their kiss and the pressure of his weight drew from her a flicker of desire. It was not like with Elhedir; craving his attention and the power over him. Rather, the need she felt to press into this tenderness stirred exciting, restless feelings. Her hands pinned to her sides, Dari opted for nuzzling her cold nose gently into his hot neck. To her delight the elf beside her permitted it, just as he had permitted the kiss!

Such indulgence drew more interest from her as to what he would allow. Parting her lips, she placed them against his flesh and instead of kissing, she breathed out from the depths of her inner most warmth.

"Stop," he whispered, not moving.

She was having an affect! Innocently she cooed, "I am only breathing, m'lord… "

He did not argue and aching for him to admit to her why he wanted her to stop, she again breathed, hotly on his flesh.

Rúmil said nothing more for the long time they lay there and as she gave in to the dark urging to assault his senses, Dari decided she could easily allow what she was doing to be interpreted as accidental. She did have to breathe! Could she help it if she was irresistible to him?

When a whistle of a hawk called up, Rumil quickly pulled away from her and without meeting her eyes gave a hasty and gruff explanation of their descent. She obeyed innocently, climbing on his back, as he used the rope to quickly drop them.

Once they landed, Rúmil gave a quick twist of his wrist and a yank, to which the rope instantly loosened both from her and then from above. Silently he began to wind it and walked away toward the camp. Dari followed, carrying the guilty weight of knowing she had done something horrifically inappropriate. But would he confront her or let it go until she brought it up, as he had the kiss?

"Stay here," he ordered. "Do not move until I return, can you handle that direction?"

Dari nodded, at his irritable question and he briefly met her eyes. His own were full of indiscernible emotion. "I'm sorry," she said reflexively.

"For what?" he demanded. "What is it you think you did?"

She knew her response was wrong, but could think of nothing else. "You did not like the way I was breathing."

He let out a sigh through his nostrils and as he walked away toward Haldir he fumed, "Only a fool would ask forgiveness for breathing!"

As she watched him approach Haldir, Dari felt that was exactly what she was; and she hated herself.

"I am sorry I ever took my first breath," she called at him. He glanced back, but continued going, and she realized; this was the end. He was going to betray her and ask Haldir if he could take her back. Her father would be unbearable in his gloating!

Dari's eyes searched their camp, finding Elienne pleasantly sharing a meal with the brothers. Her eyes next fell on Sully; he was just ten paces from where she stood. Larger, he was also faster than Sullendry, but would he be reliable to listen to her today? Would her horse prove more loyal than any others in her life or was she truly alone in this world?

It was worth the risk to find out.


	7. Horse Sense

**Envied Mortality Chapter 7: Horse Sense  
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**Part 1~Feldor**

"Elienne, could you come here?" Haldir called.

His bride excused herself from their company and Feldor watched her approach the two elders. The three of them moved behind a few trees and out of their hearing.

"You should not stare at her," Lemor said. "Lord Haldir will get jealous." About to say something harsh, Feldor turned, but saw Lemor was not just jesting, but also enchanted. "Did you see him catch her this morning?" his brother asked dreamily, "She floated down from the tree into his arms as if she were light as a sheet on the wind."

"I saw," Feldor said and began to secure the packs on the horses.

"The way her arms wrapped around his neck... the sweet whispers they shared before he set her down... their kisses...it is so romantic," Lemor went on, following Feldor around the horse, without helping. "It lends an entirely new perspective on the pleasure of bonding. The lessons leave so much out!"

"Please stop talking about it," Feldor stated. "I am having trouble sleeping as it is!"

"She looks on Haldir with such adoration," Lemor went on, "as if nothing else in the world mattered as much as his attention. I don't remember mother and father being like that do you?"

"Their attention was on us and they were married for much longer. From what I understand, desire changes over time, as other interests distract you from your bonded," Feldor said, working now on Sullendry. "What we are witnessing is a fresh bond and probably all the more intense given the time they had to wait before joining."

"So you have thought about it more than you let on!" Lemor said. Feldor ignored him and continued working. And Lemor continued talking. "I think Elienne is even more beautiful than her drawing. It is a pity her sister is so plain. But perhaps with age she will at least gain grace."

Sully gave a snort at him and Lemor backed away from the large beast.

"I agree with her horse, you are cruel to judge her," Feldor said, walking around the unladen creature to his own horse.

Lemor laughed and said, "What does my opinion matter, Sully? My brother and I will never fare as well as even Darimaetha, if we wed at all!" To Feldor he said, "As magnificent as he is, it took Haldir over a thousand years to find a mate. Therefore I suspect bonding is a pleasure as out of reach for us as wearing a ring of power."

Feldor tightened the strap on his horse's saddle and mumbled, "Congratulations, you've depressed me further than I managed on my own."

"What do you think she is doing over there?" Lemor asked. He started to call out to her and Feldor grabbed him and covered his mouth.

"Silence! Did we not just see the men pass by with our own eyes?" Feldor warned in hush, "Use your brain if you have one!"

Dari noticed their interaction and watched them as Feldor let go. Once free, Lemor waved for her to come.

She glanced at the elders and then walked slowly up to Sully and climbed upon him.

"We won't be leaving for a while," Feldor said to her. She looked down on him and he thought he saw tears on her lashes. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and then leaned down and hugged her horse, whispering something in his ear. The horse became unsettled and she gently gave him a nudge with her boots. The horse began walking, though hesitantly and Feldor and Lemor exchanged a concerned glance.

"Please, Sully," she said and stroked his neck. "It is over, I have ruined it like I do all my friendships. We must find our own way in this world, there is no place for me with this family."

"Is she serious?" Lemor asked.

Feldor saw her kick the horse again and Sully took another step, his eyes wide, looking at his father a dozen paces away.

"Go get Haldir!" Feldor said and then got in front of her horse. "We were told not to frighten you, but you must know, fifty Easterling men just passed through here on foot, dozens more on horses and there are darker dangers waiting to be awakened in Mordor!"

"If I am caught and I perish, all the better for everyone!"

When she kicked this time it was much harder. The horse grumbled with a snort but it did not move. Sullendry huffed approval at his refusals.

"Sully, please, you are the only one left who loves me! If you abandon me, I will run off on my own without you!"

"Please, m'lady," Feldor begged, glancing at Lemor who was too afraid to interrupt the elders. "At least let me go with you... I am not much protection, but better than a horse."

Sully stomped at Feldor, frightening him out of its way and took three steps to run before Sullendry came to jump in front of his son with warning.

Sully reared up with a loud whinny and Dari screamed as she fell off the back of him onto the ground. The three elders came rushing over with Lemor just in time to see Sully take off with Sullendry angrily nipping at his tail.

In a hush Haldir exclaimed, "The men will have heard, we must run, I am certain it is us they seek!" Climbing on Lemor's horse, he said to Elienne, "Ride with Lemor on your steed. Feldor, you take Dari…"

Feldor climbed on his own horse as he listened to the instructions.

"Ride to the South," Haldir went on as the others mounted. "The trees give way to hills of prairie ride in the lowest land and then find cover in the trees by the river. Climb for safety at any sense of danger and send the horses off. Keep your swords, ready, but only engage if you have no other choice. Rúmil and I will lead the men astray… if by some evil we do not come for you, wait two days and then follow the Anduin home. Stay to the West."

When Haldir was done, Rúmil had Darimaetha on his own horse, at Haldir's questioning glare, he stated, "She rides with me."

Feldor's heart sank as he saw Dari's regretful gaze at him while Rúmil's horse sprinted off with her West into the wood.

Without time to argue, Haldir ordered his horse to run South West.

When riding through the hill dotted prairie, before they could see the river, they heard the sound of a war cry from all around them.

"Should we go back?" Lemor asked.

"We would be fools to ignore Haldir's instruction!" he said. "He likely heard that as well as we did... He will come."

Feldor saw Elienne looking up and around them at the hills; her hair flying around her anxious face.

"They are coming from above!" she exclaimed.

"I will delay them," Feldor said, "Take her to the river and ride your horse to the death if you must!" Feldor slowed his pace and took up his bow.

As Lemor pulled away from him, the men poured down from left and right on foot, their angry voices shouting what he was sure were hateful curses. Feldor guessed their numbers were not even half of those who had passed through, but they were close, and armed. They threw their spears at his brother and Elienne and he quickly shot off a few arrows, striking two of them. A wisp went past him and landed just a rider length beside his horse.

He slowed further, aiming more for those in his brother's path until he and Elienne were clear. When he realized his own danger he went for his horn, but heard his mentor's blow behind him. The men turned their attention from Feldor and he heard Haldir shout.

"Ride on, Feldor! I have this!" He did not take time to look, but drove his horse onward to get passed the danger as swiftly as he might.

Increasing his speed did not aid his escape, for a sharp and deep sting entered his side. Looking down he saw the point sticking through his gut, thick as two thumbs. After a moment of shock, a fierce agony rung through his body and he reached behind to pull it.

"Leave it!" he heard Haldir's hysterical shout. Fighting instinct, Feldor slowed his horse again and tried to hold the heavy pole steady, but every gallop sent the weight of the pole bouncing the spear within him.

Like a gust of wind, Haldir rushed him. "Move your hand!" he shouted and Feldor did so just in time for his mentor's razor sharp sword to slice off the wood of the spear, leaving only its tip. Feldor bent over, shuttering as his horse slowed to a walk.

He heard Haldir shouting at the men as they came and the sound of a clinking sword against spears that flew into the air out of reach of their owners. When Feldor saw Haldir jumping off his horse into hordes of men he was filled with deep dread and dropped from his horse to what he supposed would be his death.

**Part 2 ~Rúmil**

Having heard a war cry and seen a legion of men circling back from the west, Rúmil was not at all surprised to hear his brother's war horn. Before he answered it, he splashed his horse into the stream at Elienne and Lemor's side and demanded, "Where is Feldor?"

As Lemor gave him the grave news, he took Darimaetha by the wrist and placed her into the water.

"Take to the trees," he said to them, "It is your only hope without us!"

He could not bear to look at either his brother's bride or his new pupil, but as he abandoned them to fate, the thought of their being caught by men brought bile to his mouth. This was his fault; he would kill every last one if he had to, or die trying.

His sword out, Rumil was ready as he saw Haldir before him, strutting around a fallen Feldor, not striking men dead, but shouting at them and holding them back. Any who tried to pass were met with thwacks from their own stolen weapons. Rúmil took to his side and saw Sullendry and Sully gallop down the sides of the hills, herding the men even more like angry sheep.

"What stays your hand?" Rúmil asked, himself holding back from the slaughter he knew they could manage.

"Their hesitancy," Haldir said. "They are unconvinced of the valor of their attack… if we kill more of them than we need, we would give them a just reason for war. There may yet be a resolvable reason for their tracking us."

Seeing the fear in the men's eyes, Rúmil begrudgingly agreed with the assessment. When he began to show the same nonlethal, but determined defense, they pulled back from their attack altogether and gathered among themselves to speak. Rúmil took the opportunity to see to Feldor. His tunic was spotted, but not drenched in blood.

Haldir shouted something at them in the common tongue, strutting between the warriors and the wounded.

"Feldor," Rúmil said. When the young elf opened his eyes, Rúmil asked, "How is your thinking, clear or a haze?"

"Clear… But it hurts…"

"It is good it still hurts," he said. "And you have not gone pale. Your bleeding has ceased, try not to move. I am going to dress it."

As he worked, Sullendry came to Haldir's side, disturbed and huffing. Haldir spoke gently to his friend. "Thank you, but please, find the other three, bring your son and take them to safety." At the horse's high pitched whine Haldir reassured, "We will meet you in Gondor, I only need to speak to the noble rider who comes yonder."

The horse needed no further convincing and left immediately, his son following as though well chastised. Having cleaned the wound and wrapped it, leaving the spike in for now, Rúmil stood and braced at Haldir's flank as the decorated man rode towards them with great show.

His men cowered at his lording over them as he rode past their ranks. Of the twenty men in the standoff, there were several injured and he estimated they could hold their ground easily. But Rúmil saw a line of twice that waiting behind a dozen on horseback in the distance.

"Look in their eyes, this is not their fight!" Haldir said, disgusted.

The man gestured toward them and when one of those Haldir had disarmed many times came forward to express his concern, he was struck through with his master's weapon.

"Not good," Haldir said, gripping his sword. As soon as he said it the Easterling noble man gave out a holler and held up his bloodied spear axe.

Now the men came at them all at once, fierce with nothing left to lose.

Staying close to Feldor, Rúmil was not going to hesitate to kill but his brother moved swiftly, taking on all the men who jumped at him and then running down any who dared approach Rumil.

As the men's bodies piled up, their leader on horseback gave a wave for the infantry behind him to come forward.

"Can you hold off twenty horses as well as twenty men, Haldir?" Rúmil asked. "Because I'm going to take Feldor and go now."

It was a jest and Haldir laughed as he pushed another man aside, slitting his throat as he fell. "We can use these corpses as our shield from being trampled," his brother said. "Pull them around Feldor first."

The ground trembled at the approach and the Easterling Lord cackled, unengaged like a coward. As Rúmil was about to assume he would be ascending to mortal sleep tonight, he heard the sound of a horse coming up from behind. Lemor was alone, pale and startled to see the horses heading toward them. He was not nearly has terror stricken as Haldir upon seeing him.

"Where are the ladies?" he demanded of his charge. He was answered with the point of Lemor's sword towards the western most ridge of the field.

**Part 3 ~Dari**

When Sully and Sullendry had coaxed Dari and her sister on to their backs, Elienne had been sure something horrible had happened to Haldir. Lemor refused to go with them, insisting he would rather die with his brother. Sullendry was not happy with the decision, but with no time to fight it they watched Lemor ride off away from them.

"Their deaths are my fault," she said. "It should have been me." Elienne began to reach to her for comfort but was pulled away by Sullendry who was followed quickly by his son.

The ache prompted Dari to want to drop off of the stallion but her sister's urging eyes kept her astride. She could not leave Elienne, as much as she hated herself. The wise horses took no command from either of them, but rode fast and with determination. They traveled where she and Rúmil had first come but then turned eastward sooner than the wood, trotting slower, and seeming to whisper to one another. Toward the top of a hill they went and from over it came the sound of fighting.

"Is that them, Sullendry?" Elienne whispered, breathless. Elienne gasped, "Look at them… look at all of them…"

Dari had seen the Easterlings fight one another in challenges of skill, so watching the scarlet clad figures rushing and jumping with stuttering jabs was no surprise. And she had seen the training of her own march wardens in Darkwood, but never had she laid witness to elves at war; and Lorien elves were said to be the boldest.

Each strike, hit its mark in quick succession at times without even a moment between deaths. They watched no more than a few moments before they noticed the men on horseback just a hill from them. Their own steeds held quiet, as if knowing the danger of being caught.

"Why are we here, Sullendry?" Elienne inquired rhetorically. The horse nodded his head and Sully kept his eye on his father.

Then, just as the Easterling riders took flight down towards Rúmil and Haldir, Sullendry stepped up, moving onto the hill in full view. Sully followed and all Dari could think was how much their elders would protest. She saw Lemor was pointing in their direction and then realized, Sullendry and Sully could never be outrun by any of those mortal horses!

"We've come to rescue them!" Dari said. Sullendry huffed in affirmative and she smiled at his noble eye.

"What can we do?" Elienne asked. "What can we do but watch..."

Sullendry let out a neigh now, and taking his cue, Dari nudged Sully forward. In the Easterling tongue she shouted, "I am the she-elf Darimaetha of Darkwood. How dare you break my father's treaty and slay my kindred! Are you a people of lies as well as cowards?"

Elienne looked at her and gasped, "What did you say?"

It was then that she saw the chieftain in the field and recognized his tunic's markings as the younger brother of the prince she knew. Something in her wanted to speak to him, but when he gave the death chant and charged after them himself, she knew it was time to run. Sullendry seemed to have a plan as he turned and galloped away from them. The speed was not his fastest, from her knowledge of these horses, but it kept them well ahead of the mortals; just enough not to discourage the chase.

As they rode, she looked to her sister and Elienne nodded, a small smile on her terrified face. When the horses slowed even further, entering a small section of trees, it was more than Dari could take. "They have spears, Sully, faster!"

Just as she said it one was thrown and it inspired the horses to speed ahead, but not as fast she would have liked. And then the most unexpected, frightening sight appeared before her.

As they left the cover of the trees; there before them in a field clearing was an army larger than she could ever have imagined! There were hundreds and hundreds of camps, possibly thousands of men, with horses and fires and armor laid out round them. Sullendry galloped confidently toward them and did not stop until they had ridden nearly through.

When Sullendry turned and Dari could see Elienne's face she saw her sister's fear was beyond her own.

Behind them rang out the sound of men shouting war cries.

Sully slowed and joined his father, both horses turning and watching the scene with heavy breaths.

"They are like a tiny troop of red ants caught in a black anthill," Dari said.

With sheer numbers, the Easterlings were quickly overcome, pulled to their knees and their weapons and horses were confiscated.


	8. Humility and Fear

**Envied Mortality Chapter 8: Humility and Fear**

**Part 1 ~Elienne**

Elienne examined the look of the strange race about them; filthy hair and dressed in layers of worn clothes. Several men cautiously approached and while Sully jumped or huffed at each step any took, Sullendry silently held his ground. A few of them gently asked questions in their own tongue, but when she and her sister had no answer, they seemed to understand the need to keep their distance.

"Do you understand anything they're saying?" Elienne asked her sister.

"No," Dari said flatly. "But by their gesturing they are in awe at the size of the horses."

"You do not fear them do you?" Elienne asked, curious.

"I know their weakness," she said and then Dari's eyes went to the Easterling captives and she began to breathe more quickly. Elienne glanced and saw that from that direction, a way was being made for one of the dark clad men of this camp. He was taller than the rest and running toward them in long strides.

To Elienne's relief, he greeted them in Sindarin and spoke most graciously. "Good morning, dear friends. We have secured your pursuers. Are you well?"

"Yes, very, and grateful," Elienne said.

"How is it you speak our tongue?" Dari asked.

"I trust we may make better acquaintance after resolving this conflict, for now I must know why you have led this enemy into our midst."

"Our horses led us here after our traveling party was ambushed," Elienne said. "My husband and his brother are just in the field yonder where one of our own lies wounded."

"Do not reveal too much to an unknown man," Dari commented. And then with a lilt she gazed sideways at him, adding, "Speaking a common language does not a friend make."

"Sharing a common enemy often does," he challenged with a smirk.

Just as Dari flashed the man a provocative grin, a shout went out from the men of Gondor. Looking up, Elienne saw from the trees that Rúmil was on his horse, quickly approaching, his sword out and ready. She felt instantly glad to see him, but fearful he would start some battle he could not win against so many.

The man with them began calling orders, staying their hands and Rúmil was permitted to ride past the captive Easterlings directly to Elienne and Dari. The entire way he held a posture of challenge to all around who might stop him. None dared.

"Ride on," he said when he arrived to them.

"M'Lord, please," the man said, jumping in front of Rumil's horse. "We have done no harm and only seek to help. We must have reason to keep these men prisoner, or we will let them go. Dare I say that would be the doom of your wounded?"

Looking him over Rumil asked, "Why threaten me with the army of another when your own is so vast?"

"It was not meant as a threat," the man said carefully. "See those ships in the river yonder?" the man asked. "We have just come from war in the South. My men and I seek to return to our homes, not another battle with you or these men from the East."

"You speak with a Rivendell chime," Rúmil accused. "Who are you to be taught the language of elves?"

"Here I am called Thorongil," he said. He then covered his heart as an elvish lord and added, "In Rivendell, I am known as Estel."

Elienne's heart leapt and she gasped lightly, "It is Arwen's friend!" To Dari she said, "He was raised by Elrond, remember my letters?"

"Then you, M'lady, are Elienne of Darkwood?" Estel asked her. He glanced at Darimaetha and said, "And this is your younger sister? The chieftain demanded to speak to the Princess of Darkwood, claiming a personal dispute between her and his queen. Do you know which of you he meant?"

"It does not matter!" Rumil retorted. "The audience is denied!"

In a voice that sounded with authority the man stated, "If a short conversation will avoid a war, I must ask for your consideration. They will not harm anyone under my watch; I assure you."

Rumil thought on it, gazed down at the men from the east and said, "If they have anything to say, they may speak it to me."

Estel sighed in grateful relief and said, "I will bring him here under guard."

Rúmil dismounted and when Dari attempted to do so as well, he put his hand roughly on her knee, holding her in her place. Once the chieftain was brought to them, Estel attempted to explain the situation but the prisoner grew irate and ignored the directions, shouting something at Dari.

"What did he say?" Rúmil asked Estel.

"I caught only a few words," Estel answered.

He started to address the man, but Dari called out an answer in monotone. The chieftain responded in a calmer manner and then grinned. Dari spoke two more words to which he cackled and added a comment which sounded as cruel as a curse. She said one word and he spit up at her, missing her completely, but with clear message.

Rumil braced, his hand on his sword hilt, but before he could draw, Estel slapped the chieftain with the back of his hand and pushed him to be taken away.

"He was satisfied, if rude," Estel said. To Dari he asked, "You promised not to return and he took your word on threat of war with Darkwood?"

Dari nodded, staring ahead, coldly.

"Never return home?" Elienne asked. "Where will you go if..." She glanced at Rumil, remembering their agreement that he would take Dari and live in Darkwood if they were rejected from Lorien.

Without reacting to Elienne, Rumil asked the man, "Will you trust them at their word and release them?"

"Not until your brother and wounded are safe," Estel answered. "I know Lord Haldir is a great warrior and is likely wary of men at the moment. Would you come with me to assure his trust as we approach?"

"My place is here," Rumil said. "If you seek to lend aid you should know, he may kill you on approach. If you decide not to help, I will not hold it against you."

"Our lives are our own?" Estel stated thoughtfully.

Elienne recognized the lesson from Elrond; it was elder wisdom not to interfere in the decisions of younger generations. She smiled to herself wondering if he intended to bestow such honor on Rúmil. When the man looked at her she saw all that Arwen had described in her fascination; Estel had both the courage to face the danger and the grace to succeed in his approach.

"I will go... alone... and unarmed," he said. To Rumil he asked, "Might you at least tell me where he is?"

After Rumil gave quick directions, Estel left, giving his men his sword and directions.

Elienne nudged Sullendry closer to her sister and asked "Did the Easterling give a reason for his demand?"

"His queen seeks my death," Dari said, drawing a surprised glance from Rúmil. "The prince I once knew is her husband." With contempt she quipped, "She is probably jealous."

Elienne found the explanation credible, but noticed Rumil silently studying her sister until Dari looked away from his eyes.

"She is not lying," Elienne said. "It is not unusual for men to become infatuated with lady elves."

Glaring at the men whispering in groups around them, Rumil said, "I need no convincing."

**Part 2 ~Haldir**

"Are you going to carry him the entire way home?" Lemor asked, leading their three horses behind him.

"Only as far as we need to find safety," Haldir said.

"Isn't he heavy?" Lemor asked.

His heart crushed with the oppressive burden of having failed to protect his charge, Haldir had not given thought to the weight in his arms. Feldor searched for his answer with as much pain as worry.

"Light as a leaf," he whispered, taking even softer steps to keep the young elf's wound from recieving aggrivation.

"Does it still hurt Feldor?" Lemor asked.

"Especially when I talk," Feldor said with a strain. He took a few quick breaths and added, "Or when I have to listen to your endless... questions."

Haldir smiled to know there was still some humor in him. They walked on in silence until they reached the bottom of a large hill. It was very steep and the air around them felt charged with energy.

"Lemor," he said. "Take your bow and scout at the peak." He did as asked, leaving the horses and running effortlessly to the summit. When Haldir saw him draw an arrow from his quiver and take aim, he called up. "What do you see?"

"One of them is coming back!" he said. "He's alone. It's an easy shot."

"Wait!" Haldir said. "What is his posture?"

"What does it matter?" Lemor asked, pulling back on the bow.

"If you strike that man, I will disown you as my student!" he shouted. Lemor immediately looked down, shocked. "What is his posture?" Haldir asked again.

"I don't know, he's just walking!" Lemor said.

"Out in the open with no care to enemies?"

"Like I said, an easy shot," Lemor answered, confused.

As Haldir started to climb, Feldor groaned at a few rough steps and once he reached the top Haldir found a fairly level place to lay him. He could see for great length in every direction and when his eyes fell on an unusually tall man dressed in the colors of Gondor; hoping to be spotted, he let out a sigh that communicated his displeasure to his charge.

"That man is likely looking for someone, and not an enemy," Haldir explained.

"How can you tell?" Lemor asked.

"I have taught you this lesson and you did not listen, so now you must answer your own question before I will teach you anything else with weapon use!" Lemor twitch and shrink away slightly, likely shocked because Haldir had never spoken so sharply to either of his foster sons before. "Do not sulk," he said. "Study his response when I engage him."

The man continued toward them and when he was close enough to hear a shout, Haldir stood, sword in hand and watched the man put his own hands in the air. The man then took a knee and Haldir approached, speaking in Westron.

"Tell me who you are and what you want. And I warn you, I will know if you are lying and I will cut your off your head for I have no patience to nurse for the truth."

The man did not even flinch at the threat and instead of answering he said, "You are Haldir of Lorien, the two elves over the hill are your charges, dear to you as sons. Your wife Elienne, her sister and your brother Rumil are waiting, safe in the midst of an elf-friendly army which has just returned from conquering the Corsairs. Your Easterling enemies are now their captives and will only be released upon your renunion with your kin."

Haldir's heart disobeyed his will to remain strong and he felt his entire body shrug at the relief of hearing of his beloveds' welfare. The man seemed to know for he took advantage of the show of weakness, stood and said with the boldness of a great king, "All I want is to ensure your safe return home to Lothlorien."

Haldir swallowed and lowered his sword. "Did Rumil send you?"

"On the contrary, he warned that you might kill me. It was a risk he said I had to take if I desired to lend aid. I do."

Hearing his brother in the response given, Haldir let out a light laugh and said, "I'm so very glad we didn't shoot you, my friend." In Sindarin, he called out to the brothers, "We have many friends in Gondor. Our ladies are safe... the urgency is lifted."

As they were building a stretcher in a patch of trees a short distance from where Feldor and Lemor waited under cloaks, the man's eyes shifted several times to a distant point behind them. When Haldir finally felt curious enough to look he saw the piled up bodies of their enemies were just barely visible; for a man to see that far was impressive.

And then, incredibly, the man spoke in fluent Sindarin, "The rumors of your handiwork were not exaggerated."

Haldir blinked and asked in kind, "If you speak elvish why did you not use it to your advantage in your approach?"

The man stood and said, "For the same reason I did not tell you immediately that I am Arwen's friend, Estel. And that I am the one who led the army against the Corsairs." Haldir stood to face him and saw only honesty in his features. The man grinned and said, "You wanted to know who I am - I decided to show you instead of tell you... just to see if Arwen was right about you."

"You took a chance with your life for sport?" Haldir asked.

Estel picked up the stretcher they had just finished and said, "Arwen is rarely wrong."

At a complete loss, Haldir allowed the man to lead them back to the other elves.

...

After the long treck to the army, Elienne insisted on seeing the wound and agreed mostly with Rumil's assessment that it should be left alone until Lorien. She and Estel had some conversation over the treatment with herbs; his having had some lessons on healing as well. While they worked, Haldir learned Estel had ordered arrangements made for a wagon and an escort as well.

To his amazement, the man also planned to lead it, abandoning a victory celebration at Minis Tirith. Riding with him and Elienne in front of the caravan, Haldir waited for the conversation to fall from formality before he finally offered his inquiry.

"What exactly did Arwen say about me that you wanted to test in your approach?" Haldir asked him.

Estel glanced at him licked his lips, started to speak and then shook his head. "I better not." And then he laughed. If not for the sparkle in his eye and the obvious demonstration of friendship, Haldir might have taken offense at his elusiveness.

He gave Estel a long look until the man was again bashfully chuckling. "I see," Haldir said.

To Elienne, Estel addressed, "Your pile of parchment in Lady Arwen's hands did not go unnoticed by Erestor, Elienne. During scoldings for my failure to find time to practice he often referred to your prolificness as improving your penmanship."

Despite the jesting compliments that brought lovely laughter and more warm exchanges with his bride, Estel's unexpected familiarity with elven ladies was more than slightly unsettling and Haldir was grateful to be relieved of his company when Estel excused himself to scout ahead.

"I'm certain I know what she said," Elienne commented. Haldir glanced at her and she offered, "She has written her belief that your arrogance is a cover for social insecurity and not a character flaw that makes you presumptuous on the battlefield. She hopes that I may improve you in company and bring you into full confidence and grace in all situations."

"Ah," he said, still unsettled. "That could have been it." He watched as Estel disappeared into the world before them, as skillfully as any elf and said, "I suppose I have proven her right in both regards... let's hope she's also right about you improving me." Before she could respond, he called out for Rumil to lead and took his leave to scout behind them and to the north.

…

Once camp was made for the night with the recruited family from Rohan pitching tent over Feldor and Lemor, and Dari and Rúmil off on their own elsewhere, Haldir checked in with Elienne where she was lying on a blanket, hidden in the tall grass of the field.

"Did Estel convince you to allow him to keep watch?" she asked as he knealt.

"No, despite his insisance that I take your company, I will not rest until we are safe in Lorien. I must say, his familiar teasing about my bonding needs makes me wonder to what sort of stories his round ears have been privy!"

"Why do you care so much what Estel thinks of you?"

"I can not have this conversation now," he said.

"Tell me at least if what I sense is sound," she insisted, "that it has more to do with his generous aid to us than what Arwen might have revealed?"

Haldir sighed at her keen discernment and took one more look around before sitting.

"I think so, yes," he admitted. Glad for freedom to express the burden, he explained, "He has set aside the glory he is due for his grand victory to personally see to our safety. I cannot honestly say I would do the same!" Elienne put a hand on his knee and he added, "I do not care if he sees the fool in Arwen's testimony, but being confronted with such pure altruism from a man reveals to me just how selfish and self-centered I am... I care what he thinks because I admire him."

"Would it help to know that I have a bit of inside information on our guide's possible motivation? His accompaniment might not be complete altruism."

Lying on his side in the grass with her, he asked, "Oh?"

"Have you not seen the peaceful glow that charms his face when we reach a milestone in our journey? He gazes to the West, as anxious to reach Lorien as we are... I think he knows _Arwen _is there!"

"Yes, she is, it was her intention to be there to welcome you…" Stopping himself, his heart jumped. "No… you think he expects to enter the wood?" He let out a laugh and said, "He has not even asked for my permission! If your intuition is right, I have mistaken foolishness for humility."

"It is more than intuition, but you must first promise me your secrecy!" she said. He nodded and she continued, "I believe there is mutual affection between them."

When he touched her spirit and found her not to be teasing, Haldir's blood ran cold. "What madness would lead you to such a conclusion?"

"When writing of Estel, Arwen championed his character, kindness and how humorously he had mistaken her for Luthien. In the next letter she sent, she did not mention him by name, but confessed something odd. First, by way of disclaimer that nothing may come of her fancy, but then that she believed she possessed an intrigue of infatuation! She sought my description on recognizing the heart's desire for an _elf_, to compare it to her temptation to succumb to the charm of a mere mortal… who else could she mean?"

Haldir realized he had been holding his breath and when he let it out his emotional words jumped ahead of his filtering, "I should kill him now and save Elrond the unpleasantness!" Elienne laughed. "I am serious!" he insisted, "Such treachery deserves no less."

"Watch your words, Haldir," she warned.

"You do not understand, Elienne. The danger of Sauron," he said pointing to the mountain in the far off distance, "is the fault of Estel's ancestor. It is a war that should not have to be fought twice!"

"Arwen's love for Estel has nothing to do with war."

"Love?" he scoffed. "Elrond took him in and he seduced his daughter... that is not love. I am not one to hold grudges for ill deeds done by one's forefathers, but that man should have taken account of who he is before he set his heart on a reward he has no way of earning! Arwen is our most precious star and _he_ cannot... _I_ will not _allow_ him to steal her from us... If she succombs and chooses him... she is too dear to our people for me to even imagine a mortal death for her! To stave off that suffering, I would lay my very life down to prevent their bond!"

Elienne's stonelike glare chilled him. "I see your point," she said. "How dare Arwen think to choose for herself. Lord Haldir's most _precious star_ must concede to _his_ permission."

It had been his habit to posture against the presumption of men and dwarfs, and the phrase for Arwen was used so often by so many that he had not given it a second thought. But here tonight, Haldir had used his skills and that namenclature without regard to the fact that his beloved bride's name meant 'star lady'.

He looked away from her judgment into the heavenly lights and felt they were watching this scene with unlimited sorrow. "Elbereth as my witness," he whispered. "For hurting you in my haughty highness, I hate myself more than I ever have."

"Then you hate me," she said. "For we are one."

He had no answer, just raw anguish at his unhidden ugliness he had bound to her. Elienne sat up and so tender, she kissed him. Haldir's heart began to fill with her affection for him, so deep, despite his flaws. He was hardly able to believe someone could know him this well and still hold him in such esteem.

"None could ever be more precious to me than my own Elienne," he told her in a breaking voice. He kissed her to confirm it and she him in equal passion. Embarrassed by his need for her, he pulled away, feeling a call to prove his dedication to duty.

Elienne took hold of his wrist and said, "If you cannot allow Estel to be right, then consider your bride's needs and that you have a duty to her to meet them."

The thought of Elienne desiring him in return had not often entered his mind. He looked into her shining eyes and understood the loss for her if he left her now unfulfilled; not as much physically but an emotional healing bond for the damage he had just done. "It can be quick," she soothed with a teasing hand on his thigh.

Without any more encouragement needed, Haldir saw to the quiet renewel of their bond in the privacy of the whipping wind through the whispering grass. For that moment he put aside what anyone else might think of him and welcomed only his wife's view of his imperfect, passionate heart.

When she drifted off to sleep, he made his way around the camp, confident and full of her love. He found Estel at a high point looking over the lands and took a seat to his back to watch the south east view.

"Lovely evening," Estel said, puffing on a pipe.

"The moon shines bright on us, it is a good sign," Haldir said. Estel gave a small chuckle and Haldir glanced back at him. "You giggle like a hobbit, you do realize that?"

"I was just thinking about how much brighter it was an hour ago... when there were two bright moons in my view."

Confused at first, Haldir then gazed down below and saw his bride's red-blond hair glowing in the grass. Putting together the fact that in the thoroughs of passion he had tossed aside the cloak that covered them, he realized it was another tease. The shame flushed him at first, but then he felt indignant that his precious time with his bride should have it's joy stolen.

Taking a breath he said with pity, "And that is why elves and men do not mate or share company often. There is nothing more sacred and less humorous than the bonding. I am not offended that you spied, but I am sorry for your race, my friend. And to have been so careless as to display our glory before your unprepared eyes."

He turned, feeling proud of himself for not caring what Estel had seen or judged but as the silence between them grew heavy, he glanced back to see the jovial face was now drawn down and grim.

"Forgive me for being so blunt," Haldir responded.

"The truth hurts, Haldir," Estel said. He dumped out his pipe against the ground and added, "Thank you for the perspective... and if you wouldn't mind taking over watch, as a mere mortal, I should get some sleep."

"Of course," he said softly, watching Estel stand. "Elienne mentioned you may want to visit in Lorien with us, given you were both raised by Elrond, I would like to welcome you as a brother, if you have heart to join us. There is not much room in my flet, but I will make you comfortable."

Estel looked down on him and said, "That is generous, Lord Haldir. I accept your welcome, though I should have mentioned earlier I already have an invitation and boarding, from a family I am loath to oppose."

"Lady Arwen's?" Haldir asked.

Estel nodded and said, "Some friendships are beyond comprehension... but who am I to question an elf lady so high above me, or deny her my presence when she seeks it?"

"Well put," Haldir answered. He watched Estel walk away and for the first time in a long, long while, thought ill of Arwen. How could she lure in such a humble, meek man who had few defenses against her overpowering beauty and grace? Earlier he was ready to kill this man for his audacity and now all he wanted to do was set Arwen straight for a plot that would leave him a broken heart.

**Part 3 ~ Rúmil**

The restless lady he sat beside was silent and strong in her defiance of discussion. In sympathetic sadness, Rúmil admired her stubbornness but was beginning to wonder if giving her space and time to process was her true need. Dari had almost engaged him after visiting Feldor but she only expressed to Lemor angry contempt for the men who had wounded his brother.

Now under the heavy wind he heard the telling sign of a sniffle. He took out a patch of cloth and gently placed it in her hand for her tears. She took it, used it and then lay longer. The moon had nearly crossed the sky and the wind was but a breeze, when she broke.

"Lord Rúmil, I am having difficulty sleeping. Do you have any advice?"

"Is your impairment physical, emotional or mental?"

"Emotional!" she said so suddenly he had to smile at her simplicity.

"What are you feeling?" he asked.

"Upset."

"Why?"

She turned to him and sat up. "Because you're mad at me… and I don't know what to do. You have every right, but I have never faced anger directed at me for this long before!"

Rúmil wanted nothing more than to tell her how wrong she was, but that would lead to an argument. "Pose what you've just declared as questions."

After a long silence she asked politely, "What should I do to make you stop being angry with me?"

"Try again… only without your presumption."

She bowed her head and asked, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Better," he said gently. "But go back even further."

She thought for a moment and then asked, "Why are you mad at me?"

"Further," he whispered.

She looked up at him and he saw her epiphany as she asked, "Are you mad at me?"

"No," he said.

Bursting at him again she said, "But you have not spoken to me since the fields in Gondor!" He shook his head and she caught on, but still with some confidence in her position she asked, "Why have you not spoken to me in two days?"

"I was waiting for you to be ready to speak to me," he said. "Are you ready?"

"I feel I will die if we don't speak!" she said. Again he was amused by their shared temperament. He gestured for her to lie back down and he took a place beside her so that they could face the stars above them.

"Go on and talk, then," he said.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" she asked. "You should be. I'm mad at myself."

"It has to do with intentions. Your motivations elude me, but I believe you mean no harm."

"I caused great harm," she said.

"There's something worse than causing harm," he said. "Failing to make reparations."

"How can I take back almost killing Feldor!"

"You did not throw that spear," he pointed out. "That is not the harm you caused."

"It is because of me that the Easterlings came after us, and because of me that they heard us!"

There was something lethargic about leading her past predictable self-accusations. As Rúmil posed his next juxtaposition to her assumption, he was reminded of similar arguments Haldir had made contradicting his own errors of blame over the years.

He could almost hear his brother's voice as he said, "Their choice to chase us was their own and the noise you made was an accident and will not be held against you."

Turning to him on her side, she asked with an edge, "Please, just tell me what I did, Lord Rúmil! I cannot bear this torturous interrogation!"

"I prefer you to discover these matters," he said. "So I will demonstrate where my actions caused you harm." Turning to face her he felt the position almost as intimate as on the cliff but the proximity would serve their privacy, so he did not move away.

"When we descended from the cliff. I was angry. Instead of speaking with you, I walked away. I abandoned you to speak with Haldir. I modeled for you the exact opposite of what to do. I acted out of hurt and in so doing, I hurt you. That was wrong." He paused to gather strength as he confessed, "I should never, ever seek to hurt you, under any circumstance no matter how small I think my offense may be. I am so terribly sorry, Dari. I failed you." As much as he had wanted to say those words from the moment he had seen she was trying to run away, the next few came with fear of her refusal. His voice trembled as he said, "Will you forgive me?"

"Yes of course!" she said, urgently. "But you had every reason to be angry with me, after what I had done… the liberty and advantage I had taken while under your protection."

"What specifically do you think you did?" he asked. She looked down, silent. "I am unsure if you know what offended me."

"We both know it was an inappropriate flirtation," she said. "Making me say it is just trying to shame me."

Rúmil sat up and looked toward the tent where Feldor lay and blinked as an analogy came to him, "Do you know why Haldir left the spearhead inside of the wound?"

"I asked Elienne yesterday and she said if it was pulled out before any healing, he would bleed and lose too much blood and die."

"Yes. As it is, his flesh will seal around the wound, pushing it out, possibly on its own." He bent a leg, rested his arm on it and said, "If Feldor was hit by a smaller arrow that's tip lodged into his bone, we would have to wait for a surgeon to remove it. If too much time passed the wound would heal over the arrow tip, sealing it inside. For men, this may cause fever and death, but elves can put off attending to it and many do, afraid of reopening the wound because of the pain."

Dari crossed her legs and put her hands behind her head, staring upward. Her discomfort inspired him to grow more personal.

"There was an elf with such an affliction. So close to the surface was his stone intruder that the arrowhead was clearly visible without a shirt; dressed, however, nobody could see. But for him, the pain was always there and he learned to live with it. The only time anyone else grew aware was when they innocently bumped into him and his reaction was exaggerated. It wasn't until he nearly lost his brother trying to thwart a goblin attack that he realized that the past injury, if left unhealed, could cause greater loss in the present because of his pain. He finally sought Lord Elrond's skills."

"Did it hurt when he removed it?" she asked. With pleased surprised he glanced down at her knowing expression. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it hurt," he said. "Worse than I imagined, but he got it out. I still have it at home to remind me." He turned more toward her and said, "Our slights against one another are sometimes like piercing arrows, meant to hurt." She looked away and he could almost feel her shrinking from him. "When I look at you," he said, "I see someone who has been shot so many times that she has forgotten why she hurts. You try to cover them up and hide… hoping to heal on your own."

Her chin dimpled and Rúmil lay down on the grass beside her again and leaned in, whispering, "I know it will take time to want to open your scars… but that fresh wound I caused will heal more easily now that I have been forgiven." When she opened her eyes, tears streamed down again and he said, "There is one more piece to this puzzle. And that is when we hurt others, it's as if the arrows we throw are made from our own bones. You will not be whole until you ask for forgiveness for what you did to me… I have already forgiven you, I seek this for your own healing, not mine."

Dari nodded her head and said, "Alright…" She took several heavy, but short breaths before finding her strength. "I don't know why I did it. I had never been so close to an elf before, and you smelled so sweet… I don't know what I wanted… but I should not have… breathed on you like that. It must have been completely disgusting to you. Like a mangy dog on his master's leg…" She let out a sob and said, "I am sorry. I will never cross that line again."

Rúmil felt his heart breaking as he witnessed her wiping away her tears with her arm.

As gently as he could, he took her hand and said, "That is not what made me angry. I only asked you to stop because you were distracting me, not because it was unpleasant." She laid her hand on her stomach, and he looked away from her confusion as he explained, "It was inappropriate for our roles, but you are sweeter than a newly bloomed jasmine."

When finally he felt safe again to look on her, she had a strange maturity in her eyes. "Then why were you so angry?" she asked.

"Because you lied." He squeezed her cool hand and said, "I knew there was meaning behind that tenderness, however mischievous or innocent. And I anticipated the boundaries of our relationship taking time to settle comfortably. But in that process I cannot tolerate dishonesty. If I believe you are lying or misleading me, I cannot let it stand."

"I'm sorry for lying," she said.

He nodded and lay back down completely, keeping hold of her hand, and putting his other arm under his head. "As I said, you are forgiven." When Dari laid down next to him he asked, "Are you at peace enough now to sleep?"

"Almost," she said and then asked, "I'm sorry you're stuck with me... I'm too frightened to run away now and relieve you."

"I am not stuck," he said. "I chose you." Glancing at her he said, "And you should know, I will always come after you unless I have promised not to... and I will find you, so it is a waste of time to leave without discussing it first."

She was quiet at that and until she rolled toward him and buried herself into his side, her shoulders shaking. Her hand moved to his chest and she grasped his tunic in a fist as she held on. He put his hand on hers and donned a tiny peck of a kiss on her head, wrapping his arm around her.

She lay it seemed only a few moments before her hand loosened and her breathing became even, allowing his tension over the closeness to relax. Rumil breathed in her sweet floral scent and immediately felt his heart beat quicken.

The peace and fulfillment it brought him to be the one to offer comfort to one so broken, was beyond his comprehension. He closed his eyes, drinking in the tender affection until in the wee hours of the morning when she rolled away from him to find her own space.

...

The first rays of sun were just pinking the horizon when Rumil began to hear the others packing up to move on; but he did not stir. He watched the group of elves and men continue their journey and he was grateful to be left in peace with their horses drinking by a thin stream around the bolder they had camped beneath. Haldir should have left them to catch up after Dari's rest was completed but something else must have been on his mind for his brother called him by dove whistle. Stepping away to where the horses stood they spoke quietly regarding their entry into Lorien the next day.

"When we arrive at the border, will you wait with Darimaetha so that our Lady can address your request separately from Elienne's official welcome?"

"Of course," he said.

Dari's voice crying out lightly startled him and Rumil hurried to step around the bolder. She was no longer lying in the soft grass, but was crouching, facing those riding slowly away from them.

"Dari!" he called, approaching her.

She turned on her haunches in a jump and let out such a terrified scream that the horses squealed in response and some among the travelers looked back their way.

Realizing he was no threat, Dari stood and with tears, demanded, "Where were you?"

"I was speaking with Haldir," he started.

With vicious scorn in her eyes she said, "You abandoned me!"

Rumil reached out for her as he came near, but she pulled away abruptly.

"If she doesn't settle down," Haldir called from his seat on Sullendry, "You should gag and tie her to the wagon. We do not want her shrieking leading orc and wild men to our heels!"

Dari ran behind Rumil, hiding from his brother and they both watched him gallop away.

"He was jesting," Rumil said."Likely to encourage you to trust me again by giving you an enemy for me to protect you against... it's a tactic used to create alliances."

Glaring at Haldir who was with the traveling party and now reassuring Elienne, Dari said, "I don't like being lied to, even if it's for my own good."

"That's why I told you," he said.

"It makes me want to act out, just to force his hand to see what he would really do!" she snapped.

"You are free to express your angst as you deem necessary, but as your mentor, and his brother, I would be obliged to travel alone with you to face whatever dangers are attracted to us on my own. The choice is yours, but we would be at a severe disadvantage without my brother's strength and skill. We already have one wounded under his watch and that has not happened to Haldir in centuries."

Dari's lips parted and her eyes dropped to the wagon that carried her friend. "How could I have forgotten so quickly what happened to Feldor? What is wrong with me?"

Rumil saw the regret in her eyes and the familiar halo of shame.

"Your past wounds overshadow your present circumstances," he said. She glanced at him and he asked, "What happened to you Dari? What memory was aggravated that would cause you to conclude I could ever abandon you?"

She blinked quickly and her breathing sped up; it was fear unlike he'd ever seen in her.

Quickly he reassured her, "You do not have to tell me today! But consider it for your own knowledge; until you are healed from that wound, the pain of it will complicate and burden your trust in any other relationship, as an arrow head burried in your flesh."

After nodding with what seemed a tremble, she looked back down and he retrieved their horses. When Sully came to her she stroked his mane.

"Lord Rumil, if I am so slow to learn that I ever put others in danger again, maybe you _should_ tie and gag me."

"Never," he said and climbed on his horse.

"Why not?" she asked, mounting her own. "If I deserve it?"

He looked her dead in the eye and said with as much conviction as he could muster. "Because I would rather die fighting off a thousand armies than betray your trust... I am so devastatingly sorry I was not there for you this morning. It will never happen again."

She stared at him as Haldir did when looking for truthfulness. "I will determine myself to believe you," she said. "Even if it makes me a fool."

"We may both be proven fools, but I am not accustomed to caring what others think," he said haughtily, but then felt a warning in his heart, like a voiceless scold of his audacity.

"What is it? Your face just reflected some dark concern!" she asked.

"Lady Galadriel is watching," he whispered. He opened his eyes to see Dari looking around, again frightened. "She judges me in my mind," he said. "I may have miscalculated the extent of her mercy..." When Dari met his eyes, desperate for reassurance, he said, "Regardless, even if I am banished from Middle Earth, I will not leave you."

"What my father said, it is true then?" she asked, nearly in a panic. "She will know everything I have done and all that has happened to me and she will judge me... as temptress and trouble maker!" Her breathing was heavy and her voice getting higher. "She will never accept me, Rúmil! But even if she does, I don't want her in my mind! I don't want her touching my thoughts or telling others my secrets! I am not ready!"

"She won't," he said. "She withdraws at the slightest sense of resistance. I welcome her thoughts for her gentle love and wisdom. If you do not, that is your choice. Your life is your own, as she always says."

Dari calmed slightly but pressed her eyes together tightly. He waited, remembering Haldir's longsuffering with his own distress and trauma.

"If you want to find another home, there are other realms where I would be welcomed..."

"No," Dari said and sat up tall in her saddle. "I want to be with Elienne. I will trust what you say is true about Galadriel."

As they rode off to meet the others, Rumil worried to wonder if he had been too bold. He searched from his Lady's assurance but heard nothing in return. He would have to wait to see her in person and he realized what he had said to Haldir was not completely true; he was afraid.


	9. Necessary Delay

**Authors note: 9/22/12 - The following two chapters, 9 and 10, have significantly more content and I have broken them into two, to replace one previous chapter 9. Therefore, Chapter 11 is actually the former chapter 10. It has not been edited as of this note and some plot points after that may be a bit 'off' with what I am doing in this new edit. Again, I will continue to indicate at the top of the edited chapters that they are complete by including the entire title of the story and chapter in the new versions. I hope you like the additions! Thanks to Glory Bee for beta testing this for me. :) Your ideas and comments are a source of great inspiration. Any other reviews or comments are very welcome and taken seriously for the edits!  
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**Envied Mortality Chapter 9: Necessary Delay**

**Part 1 ~ Dari**

As Feldor repeated the Westron goodbye he'd learned from Haldir, Dari noted curiously that the girl who had taken care of him in the wagon wept sincere tears.

"Erindwyn is only fourteen, can you believe it?" Lemor asked Dari as they looked on. "She looks older than thirty... prettier than I expected; more dirty than anything."

"The race of men age more quickly in every way," Dari said. When the family climbed into the wagon heading south, the young girl looked back at Feldor who waved from his stretcher. "In a few years she'll be more mature than any of the three of us. She is fortunate to be so pretty and will likely be married with her first child in three summers."

He laughed and said, "So soon? She has not hardly seen the world or mastered a trade!"

Dari turned to him and said, "She likely knows cooking, sewing, cleaning and gardening well enough to survive and did you see her father, gray as a wizard? He will die soon. If she does not marry before then she will have a very poor life. That is the way it is with women...and why they are so competitive with their men."

When she saw Estel and Haldir about to take the ends of Feldor's stretcher, Dari left Sully standing with Lemor and called, "May I?" The two men hesitated curiously and she remembered her manners. "Lord Haldir, I would like to help carry Feldor."

"There is no need," Elienne said politely. "Walk beside him to enjoy his company."

Dari felt her anger rising and when Rumil did not move to assist, she stood back, silent.

"I would like Darimaetha to carry me," Feldor said. "If that is alright, m'lord... she could take my feet."

"If she drops you, you're dead," Estel said. Dari looked at her sister who confirmed with a nod.

"I trust her," Feldor insisted. "Please, Lord Haldir..."

When Haldir began to defer to Rumil, Dari said, "I will walk by your side, Feldor, as our elders wish."

It was then that Rumil approached; rope in hand and said to her, "Would you not rather carry him, as _he _wishes?" She looked at Feldor and nodded. Haldir stood back as Rumil tied a rope around one of the branches of the stretcher, and then the other side. He gestured for Dari to take a place and hold on to the branches and stand. When she did, she was surprised at how heavy it really was, but he adjusted the rope over her shoulders and the load seemed much more reasonable.

"Will you please, speak up when you feel spent?" he asked.

"Yes m'lord," she said, even more grateful when he took the front position from Estel.

"May I carry that end?" Lemor asked Rúmil.

All at once, Haldir, Estel, Feldor and Elienne said, "No!" Adding to that, Haldir said, "Have you yet come to a conclusion as to how I knew Estel was a friend, or have you put that lesson out of your mind because I have not been hounding you for an answer?"

"I have some ideas," Lemor said, with uncertainty. "May I talk it out with you? I think better in discussion."

"Of course, come, walk with Estel and me," Haldir said and the three of them led their party with Elienne following behind them leading the horses.

After a few hours, the rest of their company were on their horses again and Dari was surprised she was still not feeling worn. She smiled at Feldor who had been resting but was now staring up at her.

"Are you concerned Galadriel will not welcome you?" he asked. She nodded. "Don't be, she is more kind than she is beautiful."

"That is because you have never defied her, nor would you," Rumil answered.

Feldor glanced up and stretched himself a bit, looking to be ready to ask a question, but then he winced and lay back flat.

"What is it?" she asked.

Taking a few quick breaths he reached down and when he lifted his loosened jerkin she saw the bandage was crimson and darkening as she watched.

"He's bleeding," she said. She slowed her pace as she called out louder, starting to panic, "Elienne, he's bleeding again!"

Rumil stopped walking as Elienne dismounted and approached.

Dari kept her eyes on Feldor's strained features as her sister examined his wound. He was watching and then grew pale as he looked away and up, beads of sweat forming on his brow. When he met her eyes she could see the fear of death. Behind where Estel was helping Elienne, Lemor began asking questions about what was happening and was swiftly led away and scolded by Haldir.

"I'm so sorry," she mouthed to Feldor and he nodded telling her, "I know." When he shuttered and released a tear from his eye, her devastation seemed to steal her strength.

"I can't," she whispered. "Rumil... I can't hold it..." Then she cried out, "It's slipping!"

"Haldir!" Rumil called and Haldir came and took the branches from her sweating hands just as she went to her knees. She scooted to the side, terrified as she listened to her sister and Estel discuss and work to stop the bleeding.

"I've used up my rose oil in this last salve, and he'll need a good day of lying motionless for it to stop the bleeding completely," Elienne explained to Haldir. "His body wants that spear tip to come out and the constant jarring is just hastening it too quickly for his healing to keep pace."

"The woods of Lorien are near, can we not make it to safety before we camp?" Haldir asked.

Elienne met Estel's eyes for confirmation and the man shook his head.

"I could ride ahead and bring help here," Lemor offered. "I am useless to help in any other way, m'lord, but I know the way, and if you let me take Sullendry I will be safe. I will not wander and..."

"Stop rambling!" Haldir said to him. "It is a brilliant plan, and you will do so swiftly... Elienne, will you go with him to explain what we need to the guards who meet you?"

"Of course," she said.

"You ride Sullendry then and Lemor, you will ride Sully if he will bear you... Darimaetha, use your influence?"

"Of course," she said, getting up and moving to her horse. "The little one," she said to him. "He needs your help to save Feldor... please, I have already caused enough damage. Help me make it up to them?"

When Sullendry approached, giving a snort and a hoof to the ground, Dari wondered if her plea was even necessary, for her horse moved immediately on demand of his father. As her sister and Lemor rode off on them into the distance, the others gently put Feldor on the ground and began to make a protection around him with cloaks laid over stacks of brush.

"It would be safer for you if you lie down with him," Rumil instructed and once she did, he put up another measure of brush and cloaked it as well.

In the silence that followed, Feldor's breathing became very irregular. At a few points she thought he had stopped until he would draw in a large gasp of air, as if he had just remembered to do it. Gazing up into the starry sky thought she would die right there with him if his spirit tried to leave them. In her despair she bypassed all the Vala and whispered a prayer directly to Eru. "Take me instead."

She closed her eyes and felt Feldor take her hand and squeeze it.

Much later, Haldir whispered into their vault, "Feldor, Darimaetha, aid has arrived, we are surrounded by friends... rest easy."

When their guide and guard stepped away she whispered, "One cannot be ordered to 'rest easy'."

"Could you if you knew the bleeding stopped when you prayed for me?" he asked. She turned and saw the tenderness in his eyes as he said, "I would not have you trade your life for mine, but I am moved by your charity."

Dari was trying to comprehend what it meant that her prayer had been heard when through the brush saw a dim light in the distance. Sitting up for a better view she witnessed upon a white horse there rode two cloaked figures; the one in front with long golden hair flowing out from under her hood.

"I will see to her," Rumil said as he began walking toward where the Lady of Lorien was riding.

**Part 2 ~Rumil**

"M'lady, m'lord," Haldir said as he and Rumil met them at their camp's perimeter. Galadriel dismounted swift as breeze and landed light as a dove; followed by Celeborn who kept a few steps behind as she approached them. "I have seen three regiments of guards surrounding our stance; I hope my young bride did not exaggerate our danger."

"It is I who exaggerate your protection, not Lady Elienne," she said. She reached up, stroking his cheek as she said, "You and your brothers are as much sons to me as Feldor and Lemor are to you. And I know how you are suffering..."

Rumil watched the tender moment as Celeborn too came to Haldir's side.

"Your good fortune has become a weakness, my friend," Celeborn announced. "In the centuries of consistent success you have forgotten the educational benefits of injury and loss." He nodded toward Feldor and Dari and added, "With their youthful enthusiasm, these young ones will bring many opportunities for growth, not just for themselves but also for those in charge of them. Do not squander that gift with regrets and blame..." Then, placing a strong hand on his shoulder, the great lord declared, "This was not your fault, and nor will be the myriad of other missteps and tragedies bound to befall a house full of elflings."

Haldir took in a breath and gazed over at where Feldor and Dari lay. He gave a nod and turned back, saying, "Thank you m'lord. I treasure your wisdom." To Galadriel he said, "And your affection."

"Your bride waits for you outside the view of the city," Galadriel said, to Haldir's instant cheer. With a slight smirk she added, "I would not rob you of showing her home."

"You know me well, m'lady!"

"I will return to be her company until Feldor is safe to leave; Celeborn is staying with you to keep guard... first, however, I must speak with Rúmil privately on matters you can presume."

Haldir gave Rúmil no exchange of support and there was no warmth for him from their lady. She merely began walking and he knew to follow. When they reached the middle of a grass clearing at the center of the circle of hidden guards, she spoke in a hushed, private whisper. "I am not often at a loss but I have little wisdom to offer you and nothing of comfort."

"If I have offended, my charge and I can find refuge elsewhere," Rúmil offered.

Galadriel responded to his presumptuousness with a scolding gaze. "Maethriel would no doubt welcome such a decision, but would it be for the best?" she asked.

The name was not one he knew, but in his mind he saw the Lady present Dari as she really was, a name meaning lady warrior, much nobler than what her father had given.

"Did you know," she went on, "that the life of young Feldor is in less danger than your heart which risks hemorrhaging should this young one cease to cleave to you."

He shook his head at her, amazed at the telling.

"You knew your brother could not kill you," she said. "You choose to injure him rather than face the pain of losing the first measure of tenderness you have allowed yourself in a thousand years."

Rúmil checked his heart, recalling his calculation to the swiftest success. "I only wanted to protect her. Is not compassion one of the virtues you have sought to nurture in me?"

She looked back toward where Haldir was standing over Feldor and Dari and said, "Tell me, when her past begins to unravel and the pain that grips her heart lashes out at those closest to her, who will protect her from your unmitigated self-interest?" She glared into his eyes, waiting for his answer.

"Am I not healing, m'lady?" he defended, "You yourself said I have permitted tenderness... please teach me! I do not say I am undeserving of this chastising, but I am at a loss for its reason."

Darting her eyes over him as if to assess his sincerity, she took in a breath and thought on her words before answering, "Haldir has been faithfully carrying you all these years and yet, when he set you down as gently as he could to take a wife, look how swiftly you used your knowledge of his loyalty and affection to your own ends. You shamed him publically, on his wedding day... And you enjoyed it."

Rúmil looked away from her and saw the delight in his own heart seeing his brother give up the fight to him.

When he fearfully met her eyes again she said with gentle sadness, "He does not even see it. He believes the fabrication in your wounded mind that he did not do enough for you... that it was self-interest which drove him to rescue and support you... you have affected his confidence as much as he has your healing... and I am here to tell you that though she sees your pain and wishes to aid you, Maethriel has not yet the strength to lift and carry you as Haldir has. If you lean on her, she_will _drop you. And what do you suppose your reaction will be to such a direct blow to your most tender and sacred wound if you could not even resist striking at your brother's undeniable, sacrificial love for you?"

The levity of her words finally broke through his stubborn denial and Rúmil felt he could not breathe for the regret in his heart over what he had done to Haldir. Could he do the same or worse to Dari? The fear of it paralyzed him until he felt a hand on his shoulder and lifted his own to touch her warm fingers.

"I cannot take her back home or turn her over to another here," he said. "I have_sworn_myself to her. If you see her heart, you know she cannot bear abandonment!"

"She has not shown me her heart," she said. "But I agree by your estimation alone. There is no obvious or desirable solution to this complex conundrum. And I can no more turn you away from my home than you could turn Maethriel over to the Easterlings... Yet, if bringing you and her into my realm creates discord and discomfort to our residents, allowing a place for your charge when you are not ready to bear her..." She looked down and said, "I see our home dimming if a solution is not found."

Rúmil waited, but she remained silent and thoughtful. Finally he asked, "You have no guidance then?"

"No," she said and met his eyes again. "Do not think because I am of greater age that I know all things any other might have learned. I have suffered losing my daughter, but I did not watch it." Rúmil shuddered as his own memory briefly lifted to his mind. "I was not the one to nurse Elrond back from his sorrow, or you from your torment... There are others who might teach you, should you the courage to admit you need their help. Until that time, you must rely on your own knowledge of what Maethriel needs. I do not doubt you have the ability to do it. A stone heart may be cold, but it is strong."

"I thought the tenderness I was feeling meant..." he stopped.

"Your wounds are healing, but they need more time. Do not push it before it is ready."

He nodded and glanced back to see Dari had come out of the covering and was anxiously watching them. Instantly Rúmil remembered feeling attachment to the healers in Rivendell. To soothe him, they had done something most hurtful, but helpful.

"I know what to do," he said to Galadriel. Touching his mind and heart she then finally had comfort for him.

"Yes... this brings me peace. And it will not be forever," she soothed. "There will someday be tenderness again." She then whistled lightly and her horse came to her side. Before she climbed upon the steed, she said, "It is good to have you home... and my one hope is this: that you now have a reason to seek healing more than self-pity

The truth of it was a pleasant sort of pain, full of promise. To her waiting eyes he said, "Your harsh honesty is always welcome, m'lady. Like a surgeon's knife."

"None could bear it as you do. It is refreshing to speak freely... now go on, she is waiting."

Once he started to walk away, Galadriel rode back to the wood alone. Fearless; none could touch her with the ring on her hand and none would dare once they saw her fierce beauty.

Reaching Darimaetha, Rúmil thought at once to tell her she had been renamed, but that would distract from what must be done.

"She accepted me then?" she asked, reading his face too well. He stiffened his features and she asked, "On what condition?"

"She gave no condition," he said, walking her to where his brother sat outside of Feldor's ring of cloaked brush. "And your place was never in question; it was my motives for taking you she challenged. Just as Haldir had..." Haldir stood when they arrived and Rúmil said, "You are the finest, most loyal brother an elf could manage to be blessed with and I have squandered your affection." Before Haldir could respond with denials or disclaimers, Rúmil added, "I do not seek your forgiveness, for I already feel it emanating from your great love for me. But I do seek any continual guidance which you might see fit to loan... not as your charge, but as your brother..."

Haldir took hold of him and Rúmil winced at the tight embrace.

"There is nothing between us," Haldir spoke, "My heart is yours again... it is big enough to share, I know that now better than I did before my bond."

When he released Rúmil, his brother stood back, gazing at him with trepidation.

Then, in a move he had never taken before, Rúmil stepped forward and took his brother in a second embrace and whispered, "My heart is yours as well."

Haldir let out a laugh and then nearly crushed Rúmil's ribs. Once Rúmil pushed him away he took steps to depart and glanced back with amusement at the joy he had given Haldir over so simple a token.

"What was that about?" Dari asked, following him to where he directed her to sit. "Was that apology for taking me on? Did Galadriel tell you Haldir was right?"

"Accepting you as a student was not wrong; how I did it could have been more loving to those who have cared for us," he said. "And for that error, I am ashamed. It is a bad example on my part and my interest in our personal relationship was at fault... that is why I must alter the tone of our interactions." He pointed to Feldor and said, "That youth and his brother are your friends. Your sister and Haldir are your family, as will Orophin be. I however, must remain your teacher and only your teacher... until I have taught you all I can... only then can we revisit the nature of our relationship."

She took that in and after a few moments said, "If that's what you think is best."

Nearly shocked, and more than slightly disappointed at the ease of her acceptance, he nodded and stood, needing to process her reaction. "Feldor, he may need your compassion..."

Without question she jogged away he felt the inexplicable loss. He had assumed he meant more to her, that she too had felt kindred, but perhaps she only ever wanted a way to escape and he was just as well a teacher as anything. The ache in his chest for his miscalculation grew until he heard the words of his lady in his mind.

_This is not forever... _

He turned his head over his shoulder and saw Dari was sitting up beside Feldor, still looking his way. When she waved, it felt like a healing salve, soothing what she had just uncleaved. He could do this; he had to.

**Part 3 ~ Elienne**

"She returns," Orophin whispered, stirring Elienne from her worried contemplation.

She rose from where she sat with Arwen and stood beside her new brother who had been minimalist in his conversation after sending the anxious and chatty Lemor home.

"She smiles," he commented and a reflection of the lady's beauty crossed his features. "All is well…"

When Galadriel reached them, very few words were exchanged; as her granddaughter, she understood Elienne's worry could not be lifted without seeing the spear outside of the elf that still bore it.

Twelve days it took in the healing tents, the spear slowly making its way out of its host. Though she and Feldor had agreed upon the delay to ensure the least amount of blood loss during the healing process, it served to also put off her appreciation for her new home and a celebration Haldir had hoped to bestow upon her. She only learned of the extent of his commissions through Arwen during one of her regular visits between the times she took with Estel.

"I thought you should know, Haldir has rescinded his requests for all but a small audience during your formal vow statements," Arwen said. "He told Muriel it is inappropriate for him to expect the choir, and banquet chefs to be on call indefinitely... and already the flowers have wilted and new bouquets will need to be fashioned."

"He does have a point," Elienne said. "Yet he put so much thought into it... No wonder he did not want me to know."

"I know it was supposed to be a surprise but after how much trouble I gave him for so many years, I could not stand by and let him flounder again!"

"Arwen," Estel said softly, coming to the two of them, "What are you doing? Your grandmother has counseled us not to become involved." He glanced at Elienne, obviously giving her indication she should decline further discussion.

Seizing the opportunity, Elienne stepped over her friend's own boundaries and said to him, "It is completely understandable that our beloved Arwen would find wedding preparations an irresistible topic; her own heart so enamored as it is by romance? I do hope you are taking notes on what elven ladies expect."

Watching the color come into the face of the man as he excused himself, Elienne's giggling was quickly truncated by Arwen's light pinch on her arm.

"Ow!" Elienne exclaimed with a smile rubbing the well-earned wound.

"It will take me weeks to gain his comfort near me again!" Arwen scolded with obvious delight. Elienne could not help but continue to beam at her glowing friend. "I have missed your naughty streak, Elienne," Arwen said. "Now I must go and see to my suitor… tell me you how you like him?"

"I must mention the fact that I like him more than you did Haldir when we were courting," she said, narrowing her eyes.

After a thoughtful hesitation, Arwen said, "I am glad you are rebellious; your boldness has encouraged me to follow my heart as well... and I have never been happier."

They exchanged kisses on cheeks and when Elienne stepped inside she was glad Feldor slept during the conversation regarding the ceremony cancellation; he already felt a burden. Dari, however, had overheard.

"For one who knows everything everyone is thinking, the Lady of this wood does not seem to want to help many who need it… why should you and Haldir suffer a misunderstanding when a few words from her could clear the matter? And why forbid Arwen and Estel from helping? She seems a sadistic voyeur to me."

"Perhaps she believes bonded couples should learn on their own to communicate?" Elienne suggested, "Or maybe she prefers her subjects to inquire for help rather than having solutions forced on them by those who think they know better than everyone else?" Dari knew immediately what Elienne was implying and looked to be ready to defend herself, but for Feldor's loud moan.

Elienne thought at first in response to their discord, but when they looked upon him, his hand was covered in blood again. Before Elienne made it to him, he lifted the spear head to her, gawking at the size of it and then gasping at the hole in his side.

"Go after Estel, he and Arwen should be close," Elienne said to Dari, lifting the sharp stone from his dripping hands. "Tell him to fetch the surgeon and then bring me the basket of clean cloths from outside."

The final operation was tidy, though there was much crying out in pain from their patient, but her sister stayed by his side, holding his hand as Elienne and Estel assisted the master surgeon.

Once the wound was sealed and Feldor was stable, Elienne asked him if he would like the spear.

"I don't even want to look at it!" he said, placing his hand on the bandage. "Once I am healed, save for the kindness of you two sisters, I want to forget this entire episode forever."

Dari took the remains of the weapon and when Lemor finally arrived to keep his brother company she led them to their home high above the ground floor where Elienne had dwelled since arriving.

"Haldir is seeing to the guard again, he'll return tonight… he won't like that I've led you home; he wanted to do it," Dari said, looking more at the spearhead than the steps they were climbing.

"He has been rather melancholy when visiting Feldor's tent," Elienne said. "He must think I was neglecting him."

"If that is the case," Dari answered. "Then he is just like father, only thinking of himself."

"It is natural for him to desire my company, he loves me, Dari," Elienne insisted. "Watch how quickly he recovers with a bit of attention from his bride." Be it being corrected or the allusion to intimacy, Darimaetha grew instantly cold and did not speak another word to Elienne on the way home.

In the following weeks Haldir continued to be distracted by duties and distant when home, insisting on Elienne making friends to keep her company when she pleaded for his time. When Feldor returned to them and Haldir's mood did not change, Elienne began to suspect that his thwarted expectations had permanently dampened the spirits of the merry elf she had thought she had married.

"I'm going to tea with Galadriel tomorrow," she told him as he prepared for a three week watch on the border. He smiled and nodded his approval. "Just the two of us…"

"Sincerely?" he asked. "That is quite an honor. Is there a special occasion or are you two becoming chummy?"

Elienne laughed at his humor, but he only smiled a half effort.

"It is a secret I will only tell when you agree to spend more than an hour with me at a time."

His posture stiffened and he glanced up at her, reading her face. She gave no indication of anything but a teasing smirk, but he became serious in his own tone.

"I told you when we were courting that my work was intense, Elienne. There are serious dangers about our woods that I cannot ignore any more than you could abandon Feldor in his time of need… once we have settled the new border guard cycle, I will feel more comfortable not constantly supervising."

"Then I will wait patiently," she said with a grin, "As will you to find out what I am discussing with your queen."

When he saw she was serious in her taunting he gave a small sigh and tied his satchel as he shook his head.

"It will preoccupy any moment I steal for my own thoughts, I assure you," he said and then walked to her and kissed her head. Elienne grabbed him by his tunic's collar and pulled him down to kiss him on the mouth, earnestly. He responded with passion until she released him and pushed him away.

"You may go now," she said, blinking. "But don't you ever kiss me like I am an ornamental pet again. I may have to wait for time with you, but I am your wife, and don't you forget it."

His eyes lit, Haldir said breathlessly, "I don't suppose you'd let me." She shook her head and when at the door, he turned around and said, "I love you… "

"I think I may love you more, but I'm not sure about it yet," she answered. Without a response he again just shook his head and left their flet.

….

In order to not take too much of the great lady's time, Elienne started the main conversation she wished to have as quickly after the formal greeting had been completed.

"I was uncertain if it was appropriate to request a private audience for my thoughts, but to bring my concerns up in company felt to be betraying my husband."

"I am pleased to share your confidence," Galadriel mused with a sweet expression. "And I believe I share your concerns, as does my husband… do you mind if Celeborn joins us?"

"Not at all!" Elienne exclaimed. As soon as she had said it the great lord peered in from his own study and Elienne chuckled that he was so at the ready.

"Elrond has done you a favor by encouraging your familiarity with royalty," he said and strolled in. "He could have done better, though; I for one love to have visitors and was hurt that you did not invite me as well, and sooner!" Doting a kiss on his lady's cheek he sat close beside her so that her hand fell to his leg as he placed his arm around her. "Shall I start? I have all sorts of lady topics I'd love to discuss."

Galadriel gave a little laugh and said, "Another time, Celeborn, we will see to it."

Elienne's eyes went from one of their beautiful faces to the other, immeasurably charmed by their love.

"I feel Haldir and I have gone wrong somehow," Elienne began, "And if you have an explanation or cure, I am ready and willing to hear it."

"There is no wrong direction only learning to walk together," Celeborn said. "You have selected a very slow elf in regard to relationships and he will rely on you almost exclusively to lead… as you did with your engagement."

Elienne blinked at the thought and said, "He has not rescheduled even the smaller version of our ceremony and Arwen is returning home soon. I believe it may be because his duties seem to be piling up and he has nary a day without conflict to a possible date for it. I know there is danger, but even when we are together he is not the same as he was, though he insists he is."

"His aversion is by design, Lady Elienne," Celeborn said. "It has become his habit over hundreds of years to busy himself to avoid the unpleasant complications of daily social discord. He does not know how to balance a family and his work – not yet anyway. He will learn."

"I sense you have a more specific question," Galadriel asked.

"Yes," Elienne acknowledged. "I wonder, given all that he has to do, and that I am not supposed to know about it, am I selfish to pursue the surprise ceremony with all of what he originally planned, even though he put it aside for my sake and Feldor's?"

"I think you would be selfish_not_to pursue it and I counsel you do so with more fervor," Galadriel said. She glanced at her husband before she whispered, "Elves feel inadequate when they cannot guess what it is we want, so we must be certain to make it clear to them."

Celeborn hummed a sound of agreement and said, "It is true and as I have said you have a particularly slow elf on your hands… If you are looking for assistance on how to teach him, there is a friend who knows this side of our dear Haldir better than we."

Elienne felt a sudden chill remembering how for weeks Muriel had been hinting to have input.

In a cool voice, Galadriel said, "Elienne won Haldir's heart, my love, she does not need to be told what to do as much as to be given the confidence to do what she already knows is necessary."

The relief that flooded Elienne and she glanced at Celeborn who, uninjured by the correction, remarked, "I am just as slow as Haldir, so you know. It is why I mock him, to draw attention away from my own inabilities."

Galadriel kissed his cheek and when Elienne saw the sparkle in his eye, she stood.

"Thank you, m'lady and m'lord, my heart is full and my hope renewed," she said. "I feel truly blessed to benefit witnessing your model of such a healthy and happy bond. I have not had that benefit before."

"We are so sorry about your mother," Celeborn said. "Have you heard word from her since you arrived?"

Elienne shook her head and forced a smile. "If I do, I will be sure to relay it."

"Take care with your husband's heart," Galadriel said, "Be patient for however long it takes." Lightly touching Celeborn's ear she added, "The rewards are as worthwhile as spring gardening is to harvest."

**Part 4 ~Haldir  
>Five years later…<strong>

"The petal cascade looks in order," Rúmil said as they met after the final inspection of Haldir's commissioned decorations. "I've requested the majority of the flow to fall before the bridal procession moves under the canopy so she won't be picking petals out of her hair for the next week."

"Thoughtful," Haldir said, glancing over his own list again. "Orophin and Oriel are orchestrating the banquet service and Muriel has just reported the entertainment is in order."

"How goes the shooting arrows and ribbon display Feldor and Lemor designed?" Rúmil asked.

"Oh!" Haldir said touching his forehead, "I have not been there yet... I promised them midday."

"I will go, if you trust my direction," Rúmil said. Haldir nodded, barely meeting his eyes, but before his brother left him they were approached by a senior elder among Celeborn's inner counsel.

"Lord Rúmil, Lord Haldir, I am so pleased to have caught you both without other company about. May I have a moment?" he asked.

"I have barely that," Haldir said. "If you have not heard, Lord Saelbeth, I am getting married... again."

"Yes," he chuckled. "Whispers have reached my ears... I will not keep you long, for it is more Lord Rúmil whom I wish to make an inquiry of permission. I only sought your oversight as head of house."

Immediately Haldir perceived his brother's tension soar. He glanced Rúmil's way and Saelbeth added, "If it is a poor time, I am much inclined to wait for a better response than have my answer when you are unsettled."

"You seek to court Lady Darimaetha," Rúmil said. Haldir almost fell backward at the incredulous accusation; that is until he witnessed the counselor's response.

"Am I so obvious in my interest?" he asked. "I have done everything to remain discreet... I hoped she might not yet even know."

"She does not," Rúmil said, "And for your sake, I suggest we keep it that way and you work to forget your interest and consider it a mere infatuation with youth."

It was all Haldir could do not to interfere, but Saelbeth was just as masterful a peacemaker as any elder and bowed his apology.

"If I have offended, I deeply regret my presumption. I would not have come forward at all if I was not certain the affection was mutual," he said. Then in strong confidence added, "She is a lady of age and you are merely her tutor. I ask only in courtesy, not to be bound to your will."

Rúmil took in a slow breath and then let it out heavily. "I am loath to share what may bring scandal upon her reputation, but you deserve the courtesy to know that you are not the first to approach me with such inclinations and expectations. Eight elves have posed serious inquiries toward courtship with my student and twice that with mere casual interest in the possibility. She herself has complained of others not so wise as to approach me first."

Haldir was not sure if he or Saelbeth were more shocked.

"In short," Rúmil went on. "Darimaetha has mastered the art of subtle flirtation... I myself have been a victim to her approach and am well aware of its potency. I have thankfully secured an understanding between us of a boundary she has not crossed since it was established. I suggest if she becomes more forthright in her demonstration toward you, that you do likewise to spare yourself the distraction."

Saelbeth looked like he wanted to argue, but instead gave a small nod.

"Rúmil, what if she does fancy Saelbeth?" Haldir asked. "Should we not at least ask her?"

"No," Saelbeth whispered. "Rúmil is right, I can see it now. I thought I had given up on finding a lady worthy of my attention, but I see now what a fool I have been merely waiting for someone to find me worthy. I am not so interested that I would risk competition with other suitors and therefore I realize, it is infatuation, for love it would not matter..." He gave nod to them and moved away slowly, but with purpose.

"Who else has fallen victim?" Haldir demanded. "And why have you not brought it to my attention before now?"

"I am searching for a solution that does not wound her and given your previous experience I did not think you held the clarity, especially with your own bond in such a frail state."

The injury of the accusation came swift and deep. Haldir could not deny the validity of it and clenched his jaw.

"I apologize," Rúmil said swiftly, discerning what he had done. "I do feel inadequate to protect her or others from her unconscious actions. Lady Galadriel did warn me I brought darkness to the wood..."

"The morning shines all the more brightly after a dark night," Haldir said. "Do not worry for what harm is done, it is worth the joy of seeing the healing... and you will see it in her, I know."

"Do you have the same faith for your own hurts?" Rúmil asked. When Haldir hesitated Rúmil said, "Do not be as fearful as I, jump at your chance to fix whatever it is you have done."

When his brother left him with sage words, Haldir's gut stormed with the thought of his confession he would need to make. Still, five years after the seed had been planted, he was not ready to pull the weed. Perhaps the ceremony would renew his determination?

...

"... and the music you requested," Elienne went on, "I knew of Muriel's lovely voice but I did not know it was possible to have an entire choir of ladies and elves with such sweet tones and heartfelt authenticity... I missed the songs of Rivendell in Darkwood, but I cannot imagine they were ever so beautiful. I hope you will not tell anyone I said as much, I would not want to offend my friends there." She paused and sighed, laying her hand on his chest. "After living here for five years, I finally feel I am fully a part of your world ... that this is my home, and more importantly, that you are mine!"

She waited a moment and then asked, "Are you asleep Haldir?"

"Not at all," Haldir said. "I have merely drunk deeply of your compliments which are as sweet as elf wine and as with the potent drink I have become quite dizzy with the intoxicating effect of your excitement."

She got up on an elbow and teased, "Oh, but I have not come close to completing my compliments and being my husband it is your duty to satisfy my craving for attention in my reminiscing of our second wedding ceremony." She feigned a thoughtful look, rubbing her chin as she contemplated, "Where shall I begin on the types of lace and gowns worn by the ladies here or the broaches, hair pins and style of footwear? Or maybe the types of cakes and delightful fish dishes or…"

"My lady, I am not certain I could bear more than you have already given!" he said, his hand to his forehead. "Might we rest now and start again in the morning?"

"Rest?" she asked. "You have promised me a full twenty four hours of uninterrupted time and we have only used up twelve. I will keep you awake, if not by talking than…" Her hand under the covers spoke to him of her intentions and to her astonishment, he grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Elienne…" he said. "I…" He took in a breath and she sat up looking down on him, so beautiful in her determination. She again, as she had many times over the past months and years, tried to reach him through their fading bond. He could not help but hide from her, even looking away from her eyes; hoping she would not see his betrayal.

"It has been two years since our bodies were one," she said. "And a full five since you have shared your thoughts with me. I demand you renew at least our physical bond or I will turn you in with a formal complaint for being negligent!"

In horror at the thought, he glared at her and she lifted her brows, watching his face as he contemplated the ramifications. "You would too, wouldn't you?" he asked, aggrieved.

"No," she said gently. "But I am starting to wonder if this is what my father did to my mother, for I am fading without you…"

"Elienne," he said and sat up to her, stirred by her description. "Please tell me you exaggerate only to get my attention!"

"Is it working?" she begged. "I feel I have married a deaf and blind man sometimes."

He glanced down and took her hands in his. It was time, as much as it would hurt. He started with his disclaimers to soften the blow. "I do not want my burdens of fear and doubt on you… and I hoped my mind and heart would change before I needed to speak."

"I have been patient long enough, you will speak now," she said. "For I see now that it was not your disappointment on the circumstances of our arrival that has dampened your spirit."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Arwen told me you planned all of this to happen upon my arrival and when it could not, you cancelled. I have only been asking for what I already knew you wanted to give."

Exhausted at the thought he said, "Then you did not in earnest want this major display, save to give me the opportunity to show it?"

She nodded and then tilted her head and mewed, "I was happy with our quiet time in the cabin of Darkwood. I thought you needed to do this to be right again."

Haldir rubbed his head and said, "Aye. I have done myself a grave disservice with secrecy… I called in every favor I ever had and am completely spent..." He sighed at his own foolishness at all the expense he could have avoided.

"It was beautiful, though," she said. She climbed up on to his lap, straddling him with her legs wrapped around his waist. "Now that you know you can do no wrong in my eyes," she said. "You tell me why you are hiding from me."

"I do not know that I can do it," he said, feeling broken. "Though I promised as one of the conditions of our marriage." He felt his heart would burst for the disappointment he was going to reign on her. She nodded for him to continue. "Something Celeborn said has haunted me all these years," he said. "I cannot let it go, it gnaws at me." He closed his eyes and said, "The world is so dark, Elienne, and the young are so full of adventure and naiveté. My lord warned that elflings bring tragedy and guaranteed errors…" He shook his head and said, "How can my heart stand it? I thought I would die if I lost Feldor! What would I feel if my own sired young were in danger?" He looked at her, "How can I willingly bring such pain into my life?"

He watched not disappointment or anger grow in her features, but compassion and kindness. Elienne took him in her arms and he felt her squeeze, tender and tight around his entire torso.

"It's alright, Haldir," she said. "I will love you and be forever yours alone if we decide not to raise our own… do not keep your heart from me for my sake!"

He believed her and felt the sorrow flow from him into her but as weighted as it was, she did not share the pain rather she absorbed it and stilled it. She kissed his cheeks and brushed his hair from his wet eyes. "Might we discuss it before we give up on the matter though? Now that you know the outcome is not what my love for you relies on?"

He nodded like a youth, full of insecurity and hope.

"Do you know what it is like to hold a tiny, little elfling?" she asked. He shook his head. "Yet you do know the joy there is in watching the young of others?" He nodded. "You have known greater loss than I with your parents and your brother," she went on, "And yet you have never tasted of the joy there is with having young. Even those who have had great loss would never trade the memories that made the loss so sorrowful. If you do not wish that you never knew your parents, why would you wish never to know your young?"

He stared into her eyes and realized she felt it as strongly as he did; they were wanted so desperately that they were almost already alive to him!

And then suddenly a flash of memory came to him, holding a tiny elfling and he said in amazement, "I do know what it's like! I had put it out of my mind, but I remember." With excitement he exclaimed, "When Rúmil was born, I would rarely put him down unless told to by my mother." His eyes stung with pain of not having a say over the infant; not being the one he wanted. That was the birth of his desire for his own. "But Elienne," he said. "It is selfish, it is for my own sake that I want young, to be loved by someone depending on me that nobody could steal away."

"Would you wish not to be born because your parents were selfish?"

Now he stared at her in irritation for reading his judgment on the imperfect family that had raised him.

"How is it that in only a few moments you are talking me into something I had set my mind not to do?"

"Your heart belongs to me," she said. "And fear is no match for love."

It brought a smile to his face and in his relief he asked, "When? And what do you want, an elf or a little lady?"

"A lady I have raised and young elves you have had your time with, so I think we should leave the matter up to fate and not hope or direct our thoughts during the conception."

"A surprise, then?" he asked. "I've heard that is possible… shall we make the timing a surprise too?"

"No," she said. "I think we should make certain of the conception soon… maybe even tonight, before you change your mind."

"It is that simple for you, isn't it?" he asked.

"No, I have been trying to find out what is the matter with you for five years, Haldir… it is not simple. You are not simple. You are very complicated and difficult!"

He grinned at her tone and said, "I don't know why, but I love it when you're angry with me."

"Really?" she said, and became deliciously more demonstrative in her frustration. "Because I am very angry that I have not had the pleasure of your body on and in mine far too long and even now when I feel you becoming bond ready, you sit here as if you could wait all night!"

"We do have twelve hours," he teased, but before she could light up another scold, he kissed her and began to make up to her for his long delay and denial.


	10. Of Beauty, Babes and Breasts

**Envied Mortality Chapter 10: Of Beauty, Babes and Breasts**

**Part 1 ~Dari**

Hurrying to leave their room before Rumil finished a letter he was writing, Dari silently removed the covers and darted out the door, smoothing down the wrinkles in the dress she had worn to bed.

Seeing Feldor was readying to leave as she entered the open area of the flet, she asked, "Breakfast with Elienne before your big day?"

"Are you joining me for that too?" he asked.

"Of course, I shall shadow you until success is yours!" she said and followed him onto the walkway to Haldir and Elienne's flet on the other side of the large trunk.

A lady making her home with four bachelor elves of no blood relation would have been unheard of in Darkwood, and was not done elsewhere in Lorien, according to Muriel. But Dari was assured that her particular situation was understood; especially since her only family in Lorien was a newly married sister who should have privacy with her husband.

"There you are, Feldor!" Elienne quipped when they arrived. "Lemor has nearly finished off the breakfast I made for you. AH! You've brought Dari, I will slice more fruit."

"I am only here to support Feldor," Dari claimed, though her stomach pained for a slice of sweetbread. "You are going to pass the traveling trials this time, I know it."

"I thought this was only training," Elienne asked him.

"It is," he said, piling the cut fruit on the bread. "Dari is craftily trying to make me nervous so that I will have practice at being nervous."

Smiling as she sat proudly beside Feldor, Dari purposefully ignored Lemor's eying of her.

"You look lovely today, Lady Darimaetha," he said. He said it nearly every morning so she hummed, rolling her eyes.

When Elienne brought four more slices of the delicacy, she chimed in with a tease, "You do look_especially_lovely... is this to celebrate Feldor's presumed victory?"

"I wore this dress yesterday and slept in it; I can hardly be accused of primping," Dari mumbled. As she was speaking, Haldir emerged from behind his sleeping curtain, casually stepping toward the dining table.

"The dress is flattering," he said, "Yet... the neckline seems to be dipping lower every day."

He of the elves sitting with her froze at his suggestion. With exaggerated gesture, Dari reached up to her shoulders and angrily pulled up the collar far above where it should lay. Behind Haldir, Elienne was snickering and when Dari raised her brows to the head of their house, he gave a nod and said, "Much better... but if you want something more lovely, you should request a new gown from Rumil. He does have the means to commission work."

"This is fine," she mumbled.

Elienne whispered something to him and without discretion he gave her a much too intimate embrace, causing her to squirm for their lack of privacy. Since the announcement of their conception their amorous displays were only growing more nauseating and Dari turned away, resting her elbow impolitely on the table with her fist to her temple.

The younger brothers resumed eating and right before a bite of strawberries, Feldor said, "Fabric stretches after wear, the dress will regain it's shape when you wash it again."

"Are you saying I need to bathe?" she asked. He shook his head, his mouth too full to answer. With a grin she said, "I have been avoiding Lord Rumil because I know he will mention it soon."

"It is no lower today than it was yesterday," Lemor commented. "I would have noticed." Dari stared at his simple face with disdain and he asked, "What? I am defending you!" (this is so funny and such a guy thing

When Rumil came into the home Dari shrunk down behind Feldor.

"Darimaetha, I am about to leave to collect materials..."

"Have a lovely day," she interrupted.

He paused and then stepped in further. "I thought it would be a rewarding experience for you to see where and how I find what I need to create hithlain."

"Are you ordering me to cancel my plans and go with you?"

Again he hesitated, thoughtful before he said, "No. If you romp in the fields with Sully for the next century that is up to you. I am merely extending the invitation."

As meek as she could muster Dari said, "I don't care about rope. I prefer to stay with Feldor today."

Before he left he added pointedly, "I hope that includes joining him for his end of day swim."

Once he was out the door she let go a snicker and said to the brothers, "I told you... he is not so subtle is he?" When Elienne looked to be ready to correct her Dari warned, "You gave up your say!"

Haldir gave a low grumbling hum and then interjected. "I have say over my private lesson to my privileged student. Yet you have not even asked permission to watch." A chill fell over her as he went on. "Feldor is behind where he could be because of his injury and I believe added distraction will not improve his performance. Now if you hurry you can catch Rumil before he leaves the city. The secrets of hithlain he has not even shared with me. Few know how to make it and even fewer well enough to teach another." To Feldor, Haldir said, "We leave momentarily, hurry with that breakfast..." To Lemor he added, "If she chooses not to follow after her mentor... I permit you to keep Dari company instead of the chores I gave you. "

"My pleasure!" Lemor said cheerfully.

Dari stood up from the bench and said, "To show how little of a distraction I can be, Lord Haldir, I have already been watching you train Feldor ever since before Lemor passed his trials!" She saw interest forming on Haldir's features, but hurried off before he could respond.

Out of the flet she rushed down the steps, but turned at one of the lower level bridges and made her way around a different tree than where Rumil would be descending. This one would lead her to the elders learning hollows where she had been instructed to no longer visit. Today she did not care if she was a bother and to her delight, she easily found Saelbeth with a few younger councilors.

Before his beautiful eyes fell on her, she ducked behind a tree and adjusted her dress back to where she had fashioned the collar, stretching it a bit more so it would lay in a way that revealed a peeking crevice; just as Arwen wore. She ran her fingers through her hair many times before pulling several strands down in front of her ears and tucking the rest behind them. Pinching her cheeks for a blush, she then bit her lower lip hard to bring forth the lovely dark color elves preferred in the poems.

Slowly and carefully Dari came from behind the trunk of the tree and made her way to a position where she could hear his voice and those of his students. When in the middle of a careful rebuttal, his eyes lifted to her and her heart leaped at his faltering. Dari gave him an apologetic smile, and leaned on a tree slightly behind the others. Once he adjusted to her presence he continued to address the question posed to him.

To Dari their challenges were mere nuances of the same position they all shared and Saelbeth's reasoning was less important to her than the mesmerizing calm, sweetness of his tone. Unlike her father's dismissive defense, this wise man was comfortable with detractors.

After a long while of ignoring her, finally she was provided what she craved.

"Before we move on to the next topic, I would like to give our latest attendee, Lady Darimaetha, an opportunity to pose any opinions she might have." When she shrugged he said, almost sternly, "My method of open discussion is a means to ensure understanding of a topic. So while I periodically permit learners to participate, I must excuse eavesdroppers to prevent them walking away unenlightened."

"I am barely able to digest what I hear," she laughed. "It would be foolish to assume I could have any opinion worth distracting the debate of your superior students."

"So I am clear," he asked, "you are saying my suggestion is a foolish assumption?"

Peeved by his purposeful misunderstanding, she did not hold back. "So I am clear," she repeated, tilting her head and moseying forward. "My participation is to ensure my understanding?" She blinked her eyes and he nodded with an amused expression. Keeping her gaze in his eyes until she was just before him, she took a seat at his feet, gazed up and said softly, "When your class is over, I would gladly pass my thoughts through your rigorous sifting, if we may do so at our leisure and with privacy."

Intrigued, his eyes drifted below her face momentarily and he took a breath and said to the others, "I must ask for a moment with this elfling. We will resume shortly." I did not notice this b4 but he is being a hypocrite as he asked to court this elfling.

As the others filed away, Dari waited patiently, bemused by the discomfort she saw in the lovely elder and excited by the opportunity to finally be alone with him after trying for so long.

Once the others were at a distance outside of conversational hearing he met her eyes and asked, "How many others have you lured with these gazes and flirtatious proposals? And how many have had the pleasure of looking so far down your bosom? A dozen or more?"

She shook her head in dismay at his bold familiarity and sat back away from him.

"Please, m'lady," he said knowingly, "Do not feign offense on my account. Through casual research I have discovered the identities of at least three who acquired courtship gifts for you before they were turned away by your teacher." With a touch of annoyance he added, "Not even Arwen, with all who have been in love with her has had so many genuine approaches by confident suitors."

"How is that my fault," she asked and then mimicked her sister's pout. "Maybe I am more alluring."

He let out a laugh of indignation and asserted, "Mutual interest is what is most alluring to an elf and the fault is misleading elves to suspect yours!"

Unwilling to give up, she admitted with flattering delight, "I am caught by the greatest detective in Lorien!" She then leaned on his knee with her arms and smiled with as much charm as she could muster. "They were all fools compared to you, m'lord. I feel it from within, it is you I want. None save Haldir is as handsome and you outmatch all the wood in your wisdom."

"I do not believe you are sincere," he said. She got up on her knees and drew close to prove it, only to have him stand and step back. "You do want something, that much is obvious," he said looking down on her. "But I am merely one in many who represent of whatever it is."

As she sat, he squatted beside her and asked, "Tell me what you think, my lady. Would you believe that someone who sees only your outer beauty could truly love you?" Haunted, she shook her head. With a whisper, he acknowledged, "I have set my mind to see beyond your devastating loveliness, Darimaetha... and what I have seen frightens me." She met his dark blue eyes as he said, "You are beautiful, but you are broken."

In that instant, the wisdom she longed for became her enemy and she stood, taking in heavy breaths; her chest riveted with aches for the truth of it.

"I am so sorry... If you were not so injured I would have pursued you regardless of your mentor's warning. But whatever experiences have made you beyond your years, wise, witty and winning they have also made your immaturity a liability to someone with my responsibility."

"You know _nothing _about my experiences. You are a fool who makes assumptions." She saw out of the corner of her eye that two of the other councilors were listening. Loud, so they could hear, she said, "I would never want to bond with someone so _boring_, I only wanted you to offer me a place where I could study philosophy instead of doing the menial tasks that are the doldrums of my mentor." She then shouted, "I am a lady and offended by the insinuation."

She lifted her arm to strike her hand firmly against his cheek but he caught her by the wrist and whispered, "Far be it from me to teach you the craft of a liar, but deception does not work without walking in the way you weave your words. To be clear, you cannot call yourself a lady and act as a brute without betraying an obvious bluff."

Wrangling to free herself, she pulled and twisted her arm, but he held firmly. Unable to think of anything else to do or say, she spit in his face.

Without even flinching, Saelbeth asked calmly, "Are you going to come fetch your charge now, Lord Rumil? I worry to let this poor, wretched imp go on her own recognizance."

Dari turned around, horrified to see Rumil had witnessed her display and she crumbled in place, only her arm remaining up in his hand.

Her tutor came to her side and spoke harshly. "Unhand her." Saelbeth's grip loosened and when her arm dropped, she fell toward Rumil and forced out fake sobs for affect, covering her head in shame. "So long as I am second under my brother as March Warden of these woods, I request you never call Lady Darimaetha any more unsavory terms."

She felt his hand under her arm and she silenced her display to rise with his gentle lift. As his strength guided her away, the councilor asked, "To be clear, was that a threat?"

Rumil stopped walking and said, "Think of it as a request to keep peace between us."

"How so?" Saelbeth asked. Dari peeked through her hair to see him stepping toward them.

"It is only respect for my brother's responsibility for keeping peace in our city that prevents me from defending my charge from your insults. If you continue I will not let that stop me."

"So it was a threat? I thought you and I were finally on good speaking terms since Erestor's last visit repairing our discord. If you do not understand the foundation of my word choices, I am open for a discussion on the matter."

"I had put aside our differences in respect for our mutual friend, but when you approached me three weeks ago asking for permission to court Lady Darimaetha, I realized I still do not care much for you or your lofty intellectual musings, especially since you do not exercise practical personal application."

Amazed hearing it Dari watched Saelbeth's cheeks flush as her mentor went on.

"How silly you have become," Rumil said, "over a simple heartbreak."

As she was led out of the hollow, Dari kept her eyes on the councilor who suddenly seemed far less attractive.

Half way home, walking along the floor of the forest, she asked, "Did you find your rope supplies already?"

"No," Rumil said casually. Then he stopped walking and turned to her. "Do you wish to study philosophy?"

Dari laughed and said, "No. It is more tedious than embroidery and more frivolous than singing."

"What do you want to study?" he asked. "Name anything, I will find a way."

"I don't know!" she said. "Nothing interests me."

He gazed over into deeper woods and she felt sorry for him being saddled with her sorry hopelessness.

"You have an aversion to repetitive tasks and grow frustrated with the artistic," he said. "But you do have many interests... what is it you_want_?"

"A new dress," she said. "But I have no patience for the skill or artistic talent."

"Usually trades are sought based on the intrinsic value, however... Rope weaving is time consuming and there is always need for it by those with little time to spare, so it makes for a good trade."

Dari closed her eyes and whined, "It takes a century to learn to weave hithlain!"

"A student who follows my directions does not take even a year to become adequate at useable rope." He began to walk again and quipped, "given your particular temperament, I'd estimate it might take four before yours are ready for trade."

Slightly amused by the insult she trudged after him and said, "I'm not that bad!"

"Prove me wrong. Take me up on my offer," he said, "and I will teach you to be the fourth most excellent hithlain weaver in Middle Earth."

"Why not the very best?" she teased.

"Because I am only the third and I'll not have you surpass me," he quipped.

Dari let out a laugh and his slight smile as they walked on gave her hope. She could not take his hand as she desired, or even milk him for flirtatious attention, but her aloof mentor would teach her to be useful. And if he did so with even unintended humor, it was not necessarily going to be dreadful.

**Part 2 ~Haldir**

Nearly a year later...

The pull on his heart was especially strong today. Elienne was nearing her time of birth and Haldir's entire being stirred with all the anxiety of an anthill just before the first frost.

"He falters again," Rumil said from their perch in the trees.

Haldir returned his attention to his student passing below and saw Feldor's eyes had left the path. The six opponents came forth, all dressed in training black from their covered heads to the ankles of their boots.

Frustration of having missed what led to his student's springing of the trap was quickly replaced by a rush of exasperation when Feldor failed to hold his ground. Two stepped back and gave him opportunity to finish the spar with success; but he had not yet the skill to travel alone.

"Did you see a cause?" Haldir asked his brother.

"Why?" Rumil quipped. "Do you intend to correct him with_my_observation?" Haldir sighed and rubbed his chin and Rumil added, "I told you not to come."

After an adequate defense, the trainers faded back into the woods, keeping their identity secret and leaving Feldor, trembling and disheartened. Descending to him, Haldir saw there was no hope left in his eyes.

"Knowing they lay in wait should give me the advantage," Feldor said, sheathing his sword. Unusually passionate he lamented, "Yet, I cannot focus on silencing my footwork to save my life!" Without waiting for words from his mentor, Feldor went on, "Dari says I may not yet be healed. I think she may have a point."

"That is an excuse," Haldir said. "You were cleared three years ago; there is nothing physical to blame for these errors." He gazed at his brother for confirmation.

"Actually," Rumil said, "I was going to ask if fear still has its hold on your gut though the spears grip is gone."

"It is foolishness! I know this is training, but I am so afraid of death... how will I be in the wild when the threat is real?"

"You will not be put in a place where the threat is real unless you feel ready," Haldir said. "You are not ready, and there is no shame in..."

"Haldir!" came a shout, faded by distance. They all looked that direction and Lemor screamed with joy, "Lord Haldir!"

Blinking at first, Haldir closed his eyes and reached out to his beloved and received instant confirmation. Without a word to his brother or his charge, Haldir sprung into a sprint, quickly bypassing Lemor.

It was several weeks early, yet she had no worry in her mind. He ran through the woods quick as a messaging arrow and through a procession of elves and ladies who had lined the way waiting for him. They sang a chorus as he grinned, delighted in their celebration despite his haste. When he arrived at the reserved tent Haldir stumbled past the entrance before collecting himself and ducking in.

In the small, glowing space were only three attendees where he expected at least five; and two were not at Elienne's side where she sat, but hovered in a corner from where cooing sounds came.

He began to move toward them until the younger attendee called from Elienne's side, "You are needed here."

"Your son was impatient to be set free," Elienne said, her face glowing.

"A son!" he said with exhilaration. "Oh, I missed it..." He looked up to see Celeborn receiving the infant from a lady elder. With fiery possessiveness, Haldir moved to intercept but his hand was grasped tightly and Elienne would not let him go.

"We could not discern the temperament of our elfling for a reason, my love," she said in a strange breath. Then to the attendants she said, "It is time..."

When he saw the positioning of the ones waiting on her and Elienne bracing herself in the birthing chair, Haldir gasped and met eyes with his Lord. "Twin sons?"

Before any response could be made, Elienne let go a long breath and the elder nurse said, "A daughter this is..."

"Let me, let me!" Haldir insisted coming to cut the cord. He followed every direction and after a quick wrap in a blanket, he was given the little life. When she opened her perfect pink mouth and took a breath he noticed a shadow pass over her and he looked up to see Feldor had entered and was trying to see.

After closing her robe Elienne said to him, "I'm glad you decided to come witness." The elder attendant began to clean while Elienne took rest lying in a pile of linens on the mossy floor. "You are also welcome to watch my first attempts at nursing," she added. The youth seemed too in awe to express an opinion, but did not move. As Celeborn handed her their son, Elienne said to him, "Could you make sure the details are known, m'lord, especially to Dari and Lemor. They two and Haldir's brothers I would like to see, and Galadriel if she has the heart."

"It is too much for my lady to bond to any more elflings from birth... but I am off as a willing and a delighted messenger to the others!" he said.

As the attendants assisted Elienne to begin nursing their son, Haldir felt need to speak.

"We will find a way to make this situation work," he reassured Feldor. "You will pass soon, I am sure of it..."

As he spoke, Feldor barely listened, but the preciousness in Haldir's hands began to squirm. So swiftly did Elienne managed to begin feeding the other elfling that the attendant turned on Haldir, drawing attention to his fumbling with the delicate bundle.

To the elder sage he said, "Somehow it feels different than with Rúmil."

"It_is_different. You have responsibilities owed to these two," she said. "You will feel the weight of your young in your hands more heavily than a brother... and so you know, Rumil was the quietest and least fussy wee one I have ever delivered. You were always hungry and Orophin wailed like a man son."

"What is his name?" Feldor asked, staring at the nursing infant.

"Depending on gender, we had decided on Halron or or Haldriel for our first born after Haldir and his father," Elienne said. "Yet I think the names would be too similar. So I have thought of another for our daughter."

Haldir was barely managing with a kicking and fussing newborn to object to his wife's proposal. He gazed at her, trying to smile in his awkwardness as she went on.

"Our love was proven to me by the song of our hearts, OMG Julia, this is unbelievably precious - HEARTSONG! and while our son was intentionally conceived by our will and spoken desire..." Regarding Haldir's growing trouble with their daughter, she smiled as she said, "I believe our daughter is the result of that melody; and the blessings and humor of the Valar, to give you a princess to pamper... we shall call her Liendriel."

Haldir repositioned the crowned lovely as he said, "It is perfect and I believe she knows already she is a princess, for she is making such royal demands!" On edge from the crankiness, he asked Elienne, "Can you not nurse both of our young? You do have two places to pacify."

As Elienne only chuckled at him, thinking he was jesting, the attendant came over and offered to take his daughter just as she was breaking into a cry. To avoid the concern of the likely eavesdroppers, he gladly gave her up to hide the shame of his incompetency.

"Haldor and Liendriel," he said cheerfully. "Well fitting." After a few moments he put his hand on Feldor's shoulder and said, "Tomorrow we shall see if the trainers are willing to give you another go. I have some ideas to boost your confidence."

"M'lord?" Feldor asked. "I would be too distracted. I want to be with your elflings, don't you?"

"Until they are older, we are just in the way!" Haldir stated with a laugh and then reflected on the ease at which his father's words had left his lips. "I should speak with the well-wishers outside."

"Haldir!" Elienne said. He stopped at the tent flap and felt in spirit her attempts to calm her tone. "You are not in the way," she soothed with a correction. "_I_need you."

She patted the bedding by her side and he took a place on it, with one leg on the damp ground he positioned his arm around her. When Haldor was satisfied, Elienne insisted he hold the sleeping infant so she could take Liendriel. Upon finding success, he relaxed and began to marvel at how beautiful his wife and offspring were; unfairly so.

Hearing a light sniff, he glanced up to see Feldor with tears in his eyes. "It is overwhelming, is it not?" Haldir asked. With a sad smile, the young elf nodded and slipped away. He was shortly followed by the attendants who, after Elienne's gracious appreciation, took the chair and soiled linens with them.

"I have done grave damage delaying Feldor's traveling trials... It should have been my main focus after his injury."

"I believe there is some other mystery, confirmed by his presence here," she said and then continued in whisper. "It has been my suspicion that he desires young of his own and I have been encouraging his friendship with Dari, hoping it will become closer as she heals and matures... can you not see the match?"

After a moment of surprise he frowned and confessed, "I thought it was Lemor who has expressed interest."

"Therein lies Feldor's conflict. He is loyal to his brother, but it is the lady whose choice matters, is it not?" Elienne asked and then looked down, toying with a blond curl on her daughters head.

"Does she want young?" he asked. "That would be important."

"I had not thought on that..." she said, waning in her excitement.

"I am not a good match maker, my love," he said, "I tried to stick you with Legolas, remember?"

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "I forgot! He is not coming for three weeks! Might we put off the birth celebration?"

"In this moment I would do anything you ask!" he said and kissed her forehead.

Three weeks later...

As Haldir left the celebration in his own home and crossed the bridge, he welcomed this task of speaking to Elienne's sister much more readily than the many others his wife had invented to keep him feeling important and useful.

"Is that the same rope you've been working on all month?" he asked Dari as he stepped through the door of the main room.

"The same fibers," she said. "Though, Lord Rumil will likely unwind this length as he did the last five. The marked rows are more even than before, so I hope I am improving."

Haldir sat at the small work table across from her and seeing the piece she was studying to copy for her work, he asked, "Whose work is this?"'

"Lord Rumil's," she said.

He picked it up and saw dangling from it a strand of long hair with a slight wave to it. It looked like Elienne's, save there was no red tint. When she held her tongue he knew, that was the secret to the ropes obedience: Galadriel's hair! The enchantment's cause seemed so obvious now, as was the cause for secrecy.

"May I see yours?" he asked. In it was her own dark blond hair. After examining it thoroughly, he said, "On this quality I would put my weight over a cavern in Moria."

Dubious she took it out of his hand and returned it to it's hook to work.

"Legolas is asking for you... as is your sister," he said. "Might you put this aside for a while and join us?"

"If Legolas wanted to meet me he had fifty years to travel to Darkwood for a visit," she proclaimed.

Following Elienne's instructions to let her be after the message was delivered, Haldir began to stand.

"I am very happy for you and Elienne, M'Lord," she said suddenly, "Despite my seeming lack of interest."

Haldir cocked his head and relaxed again into his seat. "You do seem preoccupied for one who's just become an aunt, twice over." When she gave no answer he said, "Thank you for the sentiment… and if I may suggest, take a moment to express it to Elienne? She worries for your acceptance of the twins."

"They have two doting uncles, two fawning step brothers and every lady in Lorien visiting in turn. They hardly need one more ogling face demanding their attention."

"I see," he said. "Then it is for _their _sake you withhold your affection from my young."

"Precisely. I am not the best of influences, m'lord."

They were words he heard often from his wounded brother and reacted instantly to them, placing his hands on hers to arrest her work. When she met his eyes he said, "Elienne only wishes us to respect the distance you keep; do not mistake our reservation for lack of trust or love. I wish very much for you to have a large part in my life and the life of my young."

All she could offer was a nod, more than Rumil had in the beginning. He braced to stand and she said quickly, "How close is Feldor to passing the trials? My offer still stands to be his audience if you ever consider the notion worthy."

Again he sat and said, "We have postponed his training until there is more time to focus on it exclusively... You care for him, don't you?"

"Go back to the party," she ordered with annoyance. "I am done with this conversation."

Haldir felt the stab of her rejection but had nursed such stings before. "Forgive me... it just seemed odd that a lady such as yourself would want to watch training so badly she would hide to do it."

"I only hid because you Galadhrim are so secretive. In Darkwood the March Warden welcomed my eyes."

"So your interest is not new?" he asked. "Why not pick up a sword yourself then? I would be happy to lend you one, and teach you myself." He watched her face tightening even more and wondered how he was being anything but encouraging. "Forgive me," he reiterated as Elrond had instructed the injured needed.

"There's nothing to forgive," Dari said. "It is a generous offer, but my father said it would be an insult to the purpose of my birth and my name to teach me."

"Because your name means she who stops war? Some wars only end because of great warriors. And if your strike is half as fierce as your tongue..." He halted his thought when on her face grew an expression of even worse horror. She dropped the rope from her trembling hands. He reached for her hand again but she pulled away. "Darimaetha," he said, "As emissary, I have honed my skills at speaking manipulation in delicate situations to angry and vile beings... but I do not wish to use wordsmithing to pry open my sister's heart. If you do not want to speak, I will let you be; but know this, you are loved here. Especially by he who shows it least."

She met his eyes again and then her glance went over his shoulder and she quickly looked down and wiped a tear.

Haldir turned, feeling he had been caught stepping in a newly planted garden. Or more like a minefield lol Rumil's glare could have burnt him through if it were any darker.

"What are you doing with my student?" he demanded.

"Says the elf holding my daughter," Haldir responded.

"Come take her then," Rumil said. Haldir did not argue but as soon as she came into his hands, unsurprisingly, the wee one began to fuss. Rumil ignored the cries and walked over to Dari.

"Your sister was not confident in the time it was taking Haldir to deliver a simple message," he said, "So she sent me to ensure it is clear; you may do as you wish, but your presence is desired."

Despite the noise he was facing, Haldir remained to watch the scene, if just to see how convincing Rumil's student was done.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"I want you to do whatever it is you want to do," he answered.

At that moment, Lien began to wave her fists with a full out chorus of angry charges. Rumil swiftly turned and asked, "Are you pinching that elfing?"

Haldir took in a breath and held his tongue for all he was worth while Darimaetha covered her mouth, failing to hide her laughter. When her mentor turned back to her, she dropped that amusement flat and said, "She is crying for you, having grown so accustomed to being in your arms."

"That sounded like jealousy," Haldir said, but stepped forward just the same and added, "She's right, however, I am useless... for Lien's sake... please?"

Rumil reluctantly welcomed his niece and in a few moments had her quiet with his gentle magic. Then he turned to Dari and said, "Tell me your decision so I can go pacify your sister as well."

Again Dari let out a small delightful chuckle. Looking down she said, "I want to finish four more rows, and then I will make an appearance..." Looking up she added, "But only if you promise me Saelbeth is not still there."

"He was not invited," Haldir said and turned to walk to the door. When Rumil followed, Haldir added for both their sakes, "Just as I would lay my life down for any in my house, or open the door to any whom you love, no elf who invites discord with my family is welcome in my home.. whatever his rank."

The look of appreciation was worth the speech, but on the bridge his brother accused, "I thought you were not going to manipulate her with your wordsmithing."

"The sentiment was sincere," Haldir argued.

"How so? Legolas is here. Or does Elienne's love for him outrank the discord you feel?"

"Do not start with me," Haldir warned and entered the party pretending to be of cheer as he should.

**Part 3 ~Elienne**

"Did Haldir have success?" Legolas asked, sitting beside Elienne.

"I have not spoken to him yet," Elienne whispered to Legolas in a corner of the kitchen. "But Rumil said she plans to come later."

"I may have to leave before then... I would stay months if I could, I hope you know that," he said. "I wish to know your sister and your young as if they were my own," he said. "The years were so long since we last spoke, I had forgotten how comfortable I am with you."

Elienne had not mentioned her letters and upon seeing his adoring face and feeling his embrace had decided not to; that it did not matter that Legolas had not written any replies. "I am glad to have you here now as well," she said, cautious of her heart.

"Sincerely?" he asked. "I have felt you keep a distance... is it only the bond with Haldir? That I can accept, but not that I have done some injury."

"Why is it that every time I see you speaking at long length in quiet whispers with my wife," Haldir said, loudly interrupting, "she just happens to have a babe at her breast?"

Elienne watched Legolas' face light up bright crimson as those around took notice. He leaned back away from where he sat with his arm around her and glared at her husband.

Before Elienne could scold his rudeness, Muriel interjected with a lilt, "The Prince prefers quiet conversation, Haldir. And while nursing is the only time you excuse your bride from being the center of attention."

"I am monopolizing Elienne, that much is true," Legolas said to them all. Standing before Haldir he asked, "I should like to meet the aunt of these dear elflings. Can it be arranged?"

"As you are on your own time table, she is on hers," Haldir said.

"I can pacify her no longer," Rúmil said, pushing his pinky out of her mouth as she fussed.

"So my brilliant daughter is finally learning your ruse?" Haldir said. Then to Legolas he explained, "The uncle here has the thin fingers of a female." He held up his own giant hand and said, "Unless they are asleep, neither can be fooled by these thick hands; they wail for their mother endlessly when I hold them."

"He is asleep now," Elienne called and Haldir anxiously and delicately took him as Rúmil handed over Lien. "Your timing was perfect, as always," she said to him. After she affixed Lien, Elienne noticed Legolas looked to be laughing at himself as he watched Haldir.

"What is it?" she asked him.

Legolas leaned down and said, "I have learned to hold my tongue around your husband."

"I catch you again!" Haldir called out, his tone on edge. When all eyes fell on him, he forced a smile and covered. "If you have a jest to turn about the play, speak it, my friend, or I shall feel jilted!"

Elienne glanced at Muriel who was also wincing at the bad idea.

"I was only thinking that…" Legolas started, taking a bold place in the middle of the crowded room. "It is unlikely your daughter believes it is the dainty tip of a female _finger_she has latched on to in Rumil's arms..." Reveling in Haldir's twitching reaction he went on with a grin. "The reason you fail to fool your wee ones is because your own digits resemble the unpalatable fat nipple of a dwarf."

Among the uneasy snickers around the room, Oriel came quickly to Haldir's side and offered to take the now fussing son from his aggravated father. She watched sadly as Haldir hesitated and then in fear of the cries, gave in. His eyes darted harshly on the prince once his elfling was out of his care.

"So, I stand corrected on the matter of pacification," Haldir said, placing his hands on his hips and taking a step toward Legolas in earnest ire, "but have you not just proved me right regarding your examination of my wife... enough to consider yourself a fine judge of her_size_?"

Legolas looked unprepared for the bite of that accusation and took an awkward step back.

"Appreciating the unmatched loveliness of a mother with babe is nothing of which to be ashamed," the Prince said with conviction, "But I assure you, M'Lord, discretion has been my close confidant and despite my bold jest, I have never taken the liberty to gaze upon the privacy of any female." If that isn't foreshadowing what is? To the others around he pleaded for understanding, "I am merely referencing the statues I have witnessed, which I am assured are life like enough to make the estimation."

Legolas looked to her for approval, which only egged Haldir on.

"If fortune smiles, dear prince," Haldir said, lifting a towel from the table beside him. "Some day you may be blessed to lay your eyes upon the decimating beauty of a _fleshy _bosom." He covered Liendriel with the towel and said, "But by my power and will, it will not be today. And it will not be _my _wife."

It was beyond a jest and Elienne felt humiliated for Haldir, but sat quiet in her glare.

"Elienne," Muriel prompted with fake amusement. "Do you think this rivalry is ever going to stop? Can we not think of some way to make peace between these elflings?"

Elienne ignored her interference and lifted the cloth, putting it beside her so she could watch her daughter.

"I hope not," Oriel answered her. "For it is divinely entertaining!" His attempt to distract won him some attention, but many sipped their wine waiting for the host to relax. Unfortunately for the mood, Haldir stood over her like a protective ox.

"It has been lovely visiting Lorien, but I feel I have worn out my welcome," Legolas said to all.

"I hope you will not stay away so long again, "Elienne said.

Legolas looked at Haldir and when she gazed up at him his sad eyes were on Oriel holding his son.

"Unless I receive word that I am unwelcome, I will be back for the fifth year anniversary of the birth, I promise," Legolas said. To Rúmil he asked, "Would you kindly lead me to meet your student, I would like to at least bid her farewell before I depart."

"Only if you refrain from the profane in her presence," he said stiffly. When all looked on him expecting a sincere offense, Rumil surprised them all with a smirk. "I shall have to meditate for months to rid my mind of the visual likeness you have brought to my brother's fingers." All were instantly amused by the unlikely orator as Rumil continued, "For I have been an unfortunate witness to one very wretched she-dwarf and besides color and hair, you are not too far off on your comparison."

While his brother was speaking Haldir had taken the prompt and picked up a berry filled mallow cake. Just as Rúmil turned, finishing his jest, Haldir stuck his finger through the round treat, wiggling the thick purple tip of it right in his brother's face.

Without hesitation, Rúmil swiped the towel off of the chair and tossed it at him. "Put that vile thing away before we all turn to stone!"

It was the release of humor all needed and Elienne laughed so hard she had to readjust a wailing Liendriel. When the laughter had died down, she saw that Feldor had slipped out the door and Rumil had been swept up in the merriment of the others. To Legolas she said, "Please allow Rumil this moment of rare joy... go after Feldor and ask him to lead you to my sister; tell him I wish it and he will not refuse you."

As the prince left, Haldir sat beside her, licking his finger.

"That was close," he said. "Again I have been rescued by my younger brother."

"Why start the jesting with Legolas if you aren't prepared for him to pay you back?" she scolded.

"When I start, I think I am…" he said. He looked down at Liendriel nursing and said, "Why am I still so possessive of you?"

"Because I do not wail in your arms when you are being boorish," she said. His eyes opened slightly and she said, "You are their father, nobody is going to take them from you unless you let them. Go take your son back; he cannot cry forever."

"It makes such a scene," he whispered. "I really should chop down that tree and make Legolas' bow. I think I'd feel less guilty in his presence if I kept up my part of our bargain."

She hummed her annoyance but then was alarmed to see Legolas enter and swiftly make it to her side.

"May I have a moment with Elienne?" he pleaded, "It is regarding an incident with her sister."

"I will fetch Rúmil," he said, rising to the urgency.

Legolas knelt down beside her and said, "Your sister needs you, desperately. You must give Liendriel to someone and go right now."

"What happened? Is she hurt?" Elienne asked as Haldir and Rúmil arrived.

Legolas leaned in for only her hearing. "Go alone, I beg you, and do not tell her it was I who came for you… You will understand when you see."

Elienne trusted her friend and once removing her daughter and covering herself, she stood and started to hand the now wailing infant to Haldir. To the laughter of all those paying attention, she lifted a brow and passed her on to Rúmil who swiftly did his magic. She then led Legolas out and over the bridge to where Feldor was standing outside their home.

Rushing past them, when she entered Dari and Rumil's room she saw in the dim lantern light, a pale, shivering figure by the corner book case. Her back was bare but her head was covered by a tuft of green silk which was pulled downward covering her front.

"Go away," Dari cried in a muffled voice, cowering into a smaller ball of flesh and dress.

"It's Elienne!" she said, trying to understand what she was seeing. She pulled a quilt off the bed and put it around her sister. "You are covered..."

"Get this thing off of me!" Dari sobbed, wiggling like a caterpillar forming its chrysalis. "It's caught and it hurts..."

"Stop struggling," Elienne said. "Let me look..." Inside she saw a mess of hair, fabric and sparkles that seemed intricately connected. "This may take a while."

"Then cut off my hair if you have to!" she screamed, pulling at it and ripping some of her hair as she did. "I cannot stand being trapped!" she sobbed.

"Remember how brave Feldor was?" Elienne asked. "And how surprisingly long it took to remove the spearhead? I will be here for you as I was for him, do you trust me?"

The puff of fabric nodded and Elienne slowly reached into the whimpering mess before her, speaking not a word. In several instances she had to cut hair and though she did so with as little loss as possible, there was a significant pile on the bed when she was done.

When Elienne finally lifted the silk from over her head she said, "You're free."

Dari's eyes were swollen and after she took the quilt up around her, she leaned into Elienne for an embrace. Elienne kissed her frizzy head and realized this was the first time her sister had let Elienne hold her since the night in the marriage cabin.

"I never, ever want to wear a dress _ever _again!" Dari said.

"That is hardly fair to all the other dresses in this world that have not done you harm! It is only this one that tried to eat you."

Seeing the dress there beside them, Dari picked it up and tossed it off the bed onto the floor.

"Where did it come from, anyway?" Elienne asked. "I've never seen it."

"Lord Rúmil had it in his closet... whoever he had make it for me made it too small... and too ornate... What I don't understand is, he always knocks, even if the door is open!"

Elienne kept quiet about Legolas and was grateful for a knocking at the open door. Dari pulled the blanket tighter as Elienne got up to see who it was. Rúmil stood there outside the door, Liendriel satisfied in his arms, but his face contorted with worry.

"Please tell me what happened. Legolas left refusing to speak before he left."

"It was Legolas?" Dari cried with devastation. "I thought it was you! Oh no... no..."

With an angry sigh at the disruption, Elienne said quickly to him, "She had trouble with the fit of the new gown you commissioned for her and he walked in unannounced while she was changing."

"What gown?" he asked and his face went pale. His eyes on the pile of green silk and crystals, he passed Lien off once more to Elienne and burst into the room. Setting on a knee he picked it up with one hand and said in monotone, "This was my mother's wedding gown... it is all I have left of her."

He stood, suspending the tattered piece of antiquity by the shoulders and letting it drape. There was a large tear around the collar and the crystals were coming loose everywhere they had caught in Dari's hair.

"I can repair it," Elienne insisted. "It does not have to be a tragedy..."

Rúmil placed it over a chair and whispered, "It is only a dress... it was never meant to be worn again." Turning to Dari he surmised her state and asked, "Do not fret over fabric, what has happened to you is my true concern."

"You heard her, Legolas saw me half naked and strung up like a caught animal..." she said. "And I just want to_die!_"

Lien was noisily nuzzling for nourishment, but Elienne felt torn and started toward her sister.

"She is my responsibility," Rúmil said to her. "You should take your daughter and return to company. This was an innocent misunderstanding. Nobody need know more than that." Seeing her hesitation he added in whisper, "I have experience with healing from shame and humiliation, Elienne."

Elienne glanced at Dari and said, "Are you settled with me leaving?" Her sister nodded; her eyes on her mentor. When she left, Elienne did the only thing she felt right to do; she took a seat across the flet, offering Liendriel her breast in the darkness as she listened.

"Legolas likely has some of his own shame to process," Rúmil said. "But it is needless for you both because the situation was innocent. If it makes you feel better, what he saw will haunt him in ways you can never imagine. The beauty of an uncovered female elf is incomparable to any other vision. Feel pity for his nights of torment, not loathing of yourself."

Elienne smiled, at the tenderness in his explanation, but was quickly alarmed at her sister's response.

"What you say may be true for some, but not me. I am nothing like Elienne or Muriel or the other ladies. I am hideous and broken! "

"That is nonsense," he said. There was a moment of silence and then Rumil said, "Cover yourself this instant!"

Elienne was already gently pushing herself out of the seat when she heard a scuffle ensuing.

"Do not force me to restrain you!" he ordered and Elienne saw a shadow pass in front of the lantern in the room.

"Tell Haldir, this is the real reason my father would not have me trained. He was afraid of my anger; that I would use the sword against him someday."

When Elienne got to the room, still nursing her peaceful infant, Rúmil was ghostly in color and expression, with a scratch of red blood on his neck. Her sister turned from them and buried her head in the pillows.

"You are in over your head here, brother," Elienne said. "It is you who should go."

"She needs me..." he said. "I can help her."

"Perhaps someday, but she is obviously not ready," Elienne said. "Go peacefully or I can obtain our head of house and let you and Haldir argue over it while I comfort my sister."

"Please just go, Rumil!" Dari begged in a muffled sob. "I cannot bear another argument!"

Rúmil absently began to reach for Liendriel but Elienne said, "No, I am keeping my daughter with me; you go commiserate with Haldir."

As his steps faded out of the room, Dari's head turned slightly, her face peeking out from the pillow. Hearing the outside door to the flet close, Elienne sat beside her sister and with her free hand she ran it over her tangled hair.

Dari looked at the babe still nursing in her arms and asked, "Is that Haldor?"

"It's Liendriel. She has dark brows, like Haldir's... do you see it?"

Dari sat up, touched her niece's hand and then nodded. Lien opened her fist and took grip of her aunt's finger, drawing a quivering smile from her Dari's lips. "She is strong!" Then she turned angry again and said, "I don't want to be weak and mocked anymore, Elienne. I want to be like Galadriel! I want people to fear me!"

"Then ask for a sword instead of a dress!" Elienne laughed. When she saw uneasiness in her features, Elienne added, "Arwen has a sword. It's very lovely. I never learned because I had no interest, but she told me she played with her brothers and they brought the possibility to her attention."

"Father says I should learn to control my temper first," she said.

"Why do you listen to him on this, of all issues?" Elienne asked.

"Because he's right. I need more than control of my temper before I trust myself," Dari said, her attention focused on the pile of her hair on the bed. Then her sister turned her darling eyes on her and Elienne melted as she asked, "I have an idea that may make living here easier for me... but I'm going to need your help."

"Anything!" Elienne said, but then the look in her sister's eyes gave her heart warning. "Maybe you should tell me before I agree..."

"I'm going to need you to cut off more of my hair..."

**Author's Note: The following chapters have not been edited yet and the plot points may be a bit 'off' with what I am doing in this new edition. If something is super confusing, please feel free to PM me and I can explain... I hope you are enjoying the changes! Reviews and comments are always very welcome and inspiring and taken seriously. :)**


	11. Awakenings

**Authors Note: Thank you for the reviews, before I got them I was so stuck and insecure but then once I read what I was writing was working, I just took off like mad… so please, let me know what you think! It is unbelievable how much it matters. Thanks. :) **

**Part 1 ~Haldir – five days later**

Sitting in his brothers' flet, Haldir held a babe in each arm, the two of them looking at the other in fascination, disinterested in him completely. It had come to his attention by accident that the best way to keep either twin from fussing was to hold both of them. If it meant he was maligned to do nothing else, so be it; they were his offspring and he was determined for them to accept it.

Beside him Rúmil slumped in poor posture, knuckles pressed over his lips, and his gaze lost in far off thoughts.

"Nervous?" Haldir asked.

Impatiently he glanced at Haldir, letting his non-answer speak volumes of his decreasing desire for discussion.

Elienne peeked out of the door and then turned back to whisper to Dari before exiting completely and announcing, "This proposal is only until the discomfort of her exposure lifts."

Rúmil sat frozen, but Haldir anticipated the unknown.

The potency of the visual illusion before him was broken only when Dari's expressive searched for a reaction from his statue of a brother.

"We thinned and straightened her hair," Elienne explained at the strained silence. She touched the strands, even braided in the style of an elf. "We also thickened her brows with some color… the rest is binding and padding under her tunic."

"How you accomplished this sorcery is secondary," Haldir said, "I should like to know _why_?" Rúmil finally moved, just to close his eyes, indignant. "So you and Legolas saw what she looks like undressed," Haldir said to him. "The rest of the wood has not. How is this forgery going to do anything but bring more attention and discussion to what gender lies underneath her clothes?"

"Must we answer to everyone for what happens in our house?" Rúmil asked. Gesturing to her he said, "If my _student_ feels comfortable this way, so be it. That is what matters."

The warm smile Rúmil's defense brought from his costumed sister in law was enough to make Haldir want to give up his own protest, but he knew from experience that any dodge of conflict and scandal by members of his family would not eliminate expectations for his own elegant excuses, it would exasperate them.

"Even if it is to be an agreed upon dissuasion," he said, "We must respond in some regard or gossip will germinate."

Rúmil looked ready to snap at him again when Elienne broke in. "She has a plausible reason… Dari?"

With obvious nerves shaking her, Dari now addressed Haldir more than her mentor.

"I have heard your heated discussions regarding the need for more eyes on our borders. You have your wee ones, Feldor desires to learn the tongue of men, Orophin is weary with guarding the wood and Lord Rúmil is troubled to stay nights here for my sleeping affliction. So, if it would suit you and my mentor, I would like to learn to stand watch by his side. Relieving Orophin, Lamer and Feldor some of their duty," To Rúmil she said, "You once said you would teach me whatever skill you had, I only need ask. I am asking."

"You want to be a _guardian_?" Haldir asked with a chuckle escaping. Seeing her immediately disappointment, he soothed as gently as he could, "I regret that it is a very dangerous and crucial task only to be trusted to experienced elders."

"The Woodland brothers learned when they were half as ready as she is," Rúmil argued. "And now you send each alone with Orophin in turn. Speak your true reasons, do not insult her intelligence with your precious dissuasion!"

As carefully as he could, Haldir said, "You of all should know the additional risks to having a female on watch."

"Of course I do," Rúmil seethed. "I agree with you, I am merely demanding you be forthright and not evasive."

Caught in his attempt to protect her from every elf's worst fear, he stared down his brother's challenge and finally conceded to his judgment.

"It is possible, Dari, to fool a goblin man by concealing your gender, but to an orc… the potent fragrance of a female is maddening. They will smell your presence, not only giving away your location but making you an irresistible target for their attack. It is the sole reason we went a day out of our way south to avoid Mordor."

As if on cue, Dari pulled a bottle from the satchel on her hip and held it up. "I was given this laurel oil in exchange for my first practice rope I wove." She came close to Rúmil and held out her wrist. Hesitant at first, when he indulged her he met her eyes with surprise. "I know I gained most in the exchange," she said, "For what safety it brings should I have need to travel without escort."

"The disguise is brilliant," he said, almost as if proud. "And you have provided a legitimate reasoning for it." Turning to Haldir he said, "It is only right that I relieve the burden on those who have stood in for me since we returned from Darkwood."

Before Haldir could even bring up a question, Elienne seemed to read his reservations and said, "Please be supportive, Haldir. You were asked here as her brother; Rúmil is her mentor."

Never before, not even subtly, had his wife challenged him in front of others. It took him a moment to meet her eyes and then he felt the rule of indignation reigning in his response.

"I may have set aside my duty as March Warden until my elflings are youths of age, but that does not invalidate my counsel on the risks involved!" he said. "As head of house I will be asked my opinion by those who disagree with this decision and prior to that I prefer to have had that exchange with the two of you."

As he went on, explaining the obvious point that Darimaetha should only guard the least breached border and when giving his reasons for needing to be sure that he at least said it, Haldir began to notice that Dari and Elienne were failing to take him t serious, his wife covering her mouth to hide her amusement, while his brother wore a full on, inexplicable grin. When Haldir finally stopped, seeing their attention had drifted to the adorables in his arms, he glanced down to see both of the twins were staring up at him smiling with light kicks, coos and gurgles.

Immediately enamored by the precious babes finally taking notice of him, he lifted them closer to his face, unable to decide on which he would rather dote. As he chose his daughter, his son Haldor reached out and grabbed a lock of his hair and gave it a good tug.

Elienne laughed and Rúmil stood.

"You are a baby sitter in your pajamas," his brother mocked. "I will speak of the schedule to Celeborn." To Dari he said, "Come Maethriel."

For the moment, Haldir did not care for a thing in the world except that his wee ones were finally warming to him. Elienne sat down away from them enjoying her witness to the moment.

It did not last long, but that night as they lay down together, she whispered, "I told you it would happen. Not everyone loves you right off, some of us have to learn to do it."

He wondered if she noticed his unusual quiet this evening or if through their bond she could feel his hurt he dared not mention. He choose not not to respond to her on the matter of the twins' change of heart, instead laying silent with Haldor asleep on his chest.

"Did you see the way Rúmil smiled today?" she asked. It had not occurred to him and he shrugged with a pitiful pout. She went on, so insensitive! "It reminded me of the vision I saw through our bond; your desire for him? Did you realize it has come to pass? It is not much, but he has found some reasons for joy."

He had not, but did not want to acknowledge her point over his own he was trying to make. "It is amazing how you were able to see my heart so clearly back then." Through their bond he felt her reach and touch his sore heart and but her expression was more of a scold. "What have I done?" he asked. "I have given you two beautiful infants, made a home for our family, provided everything you need and I even remain to assist in any task with which you see fit to saddle my hands… do I not serve you enough, Elienne? Why do you test my heart with so much judgment?"

"You do all of that me?" she asked as testy as he had ever heard her.

"Yes!" he said. "How can you not see it?"

"What of it do you do because you _want_ to do it?" she asked. "What about this life is your desire and not merely pleasing a wife?"

"All of it, we are one!" he said, feeling his heart break at her cruelty. "And I am sincere when I ask what more can I do… name it, I will prove myself!"

"What do you _want_ to do?" she asked. That was her point; the same she had tried to make many times throughout the years, always much more gently than this. "If you want to return as March Warden, than please, take up arms and fight true enemies rather than picking petty fights with our friends and family."

"Is that what you think I am doing?" he asked. "Picking fights?"

"Yes," she said.

"This is about Legolas?" he said through his teeth.

"No, it is about you, Haldir. You are not at peace, and it is not because you are not making me happy. I am very happy. It is you who are unhappy."

Haldir looked at the sleeping sweetness on his chest and wondered at what could be missing. Restlessness had driven him to strive for all he had ever wanted; and now he had that and so much more. What else was there to accomplish but keeping his family content?

"Dari is right, Feldor has long asked to learn the language of men and I have been selfish to not focus on that skill. I will give in to my better judgment and teach him." She said nothing. "And I will resume my rounds at guard once a month." He glanced at her and said, "Satisfied?"

"If you are," she said. It was not helpful, but Haldir accepted it for the moment.

**Part 2 ~Rúmil - Four Years Later**

The two elders they had relieved were well gone into the wood before the sounds from below brought warning of a breach. It was the third time in four years any dared crossed Lorien borders, but the first on their guard and it stank of orc. Glancing to his side, Rúmil cursed himself that he had let Orophin talk him into trading pupils from time to time to vary their company.

He motioned to Lamer who nodded with wide eyes. Silently the two of them took positions over the edges of the flet and watched as the pack of eight crept in through the brush. Lifting his bow he fitted an arrow and waited until Lamer had his. It was another hundred paces before the orcs would reach where Orophin, Feldor and Dari were waiting and he gave their targets just enough time to get within range so that they could all be taken down before any could turn and escape.

Lamer looked anxious and in the dark Rúmil wondered if maybe the youth was unsure about his strike.

With a tilt to his head and a glance to his hip, he indicated they should jump and fight hand to hand should any be missed with an arrow and when Lamer agreed, he gave the signal.

They let go their arrows and Rúmil whistled the warning call.

One, two, three, four, five wisps sounded through the trees into their prey and Rúmil loosened another leaving only two orcs alive. With a chill to his spine he heard them both cry out, not in fear but in a whooping as if giving a clear signal.

"Five only!" came the cackling Sindarin.

Rúmil turned to see a line of shadows entering under him and as he lifted his bow and shot one after the other, another line of shadows came ten paces to his right and then ten to his left. Calling out in code was pointless now and as he shouted, "A horde cometh!" he took down as many as he could while minions passed through unstopped.

He heard the horn sound which would bring dozens on guard that night to their location, but it would be too late to matter.

To Lamer he said, "Stay, keep my cover with your bow, move among the trees if you must, do not descend!" It was an order the young would all receive and should have known given the numbers below them.

Jumping, in one hand he held his rope out and ready to whip around their foes, in the other his sword was ready and striking as soon as he landed in their midst. His expectation of their charging of him was not realized instead, they passed by him, running away, not as cowards, but as if sent on a mission that did not concern him.

He took off after them, cutting their numbers down slowly as he caught up, but none behind him struck him. Instead, they were surrounding a single tree, it seemed at first only thirty or forty, but the numbers tripled in seconds and he watched Orophin at the foot of it, overwhelmed, and soon trampled on and over as they climbed, ascending like ants, darkening the white trunk.

Feldor was tossed over, useless to them, but the scream he heard gave testimony to the prize they claimed and it seemed however many orcs he killed attempting to reach the tree, more would replace them. None attacked him and those he killed were laughing at his foolishness to continue to try to save her.

"Rúmil!"

She grabbed his shoulder and he turned, to look and saw her face. He sat up, took her arms and she pulled back, but he would not let go.

"Wake up!" Maethriel said, frightened. "You are nightmaring!" He looked around at the bright sunlight through the trees, the stink of orc was not a dream. He jumped to his feet and she said, "There were three, I shot one and Feldor got another, but one slipped away." Rúmil blinked as he forced the fear out of himself to face this reality as the true one. "Should we take him on foot?" she asked.

"No, stay here," he said. When she started to protest according to protocol, he got in her face and begged, "Do not argue with me… please, Dari."

It had been years since he had called her that and as if afraid to say no, she nodded. Swiftly he turned and descended, calling to Orophin who joined him. They combed around the brush, the smell of the dead orcs confusing their search.

Orophin pointed at the other guardians in the distance who were making their way, likely having heard the sounds of the young ones' bows. Then behind them he heard the heart crushing sound of a body landing on the ground from a high fall; high enough to be from a flet. Rúmil ran to the site to see an orc lying with his head split from a sword. He looked up and as Orophin reached them he nearly flew up the trunk to her.

She was there, on one knee, untouched save for her sword black and dripping with blood. She glanced at him and strangely enough, she smiled.

"You taught me well," she said, breathless.

He could not respond at first, so flush from the fight and numb from burying his fright. She stood and he watched as she cleaned her sword with trembling hands and his thoughts returned to how he had given in to what he thought would be a moments rest. He had forgotten how it felt to be tired enough to sleep and had drifted, horrifically into a deep enough slumber to fall prey once more to that which drove him from the indulgence.

Orophin called up and he broke out of his stupor to give assurances and agree that they would remain on watch upon the flet until dusk.

Once they had traveled a safe distance inside the outer rim, Feldor and Lamer began to chatter about what had happened and while Orophin permitted their arrogant boasts and sang their praises for following orders, he made sure to slap them down with the reality of enjoying the art of war too much.

"Those orc were once elves, and while it is too late for them to be saved, any of them could be former friends or relatives from the days of old. Thankfully we have become wiser to prevent infiltration and know to kill ourselves when captured to prevent the tragedy of being turned and attacking our beloveds. But never you think that because you are free that your heart cannot be blackened with hate. Their influence is not only by taking a physical captive but by captivating the heart to become what they are in order to fight them."

Rúmil dropped his pace when he heard the words his brother had taught them many times.

"We fight and kill not for vain glory or pride in our skills, but to protect that which we love. To love to kill, or even to enjoy it is to lose the very thing we protect; our gentleness, our hope, our faith, our kindness all that we value. Battle is an evil necessity, never think on it more than that."

When Dari made his stride her own, walking beside him on the wider path leading into the city, he expected she might make mention of his failing, at least to ask him of it. When she did not his steps became so heavy that he stopped altogether, unable to lift a foot.

Finally, just as he thought he might have the courage to ask her to go on without him, she turned and said, "Feldor wants to leave the wood for a time; to visit Erindwyn in Rohan. He speaks her tongue now and Haldir has said if he can find an elder willing to accompany him, he may."

"Is that a question?" he asked.

"It is preparation for my question," she said with a smirk. "May I accompany him and Lamer with Orophin who has agreed to take us? You would be welcome to come as well, but I am not asking for you to go… I know you are not fond of men…and if you would rather me not go, I understand, I am merely attempting to knit my friendship with Feldor by supporting…"

Interrupting he said, "I will go."

She flashed a smile at him again and it felt as an undeserving reward. Then, she approached, and in an instant he had a flashback to the night she had lunged at him, topless and groping him for a kiss. This time, she instead approached slowly and he flinched when she pecked his cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered, lingering a moment long enough for him to smell beyond her laurel to the lilac beneath that further disoriented his senses.

She ran off, no doubt to tell the others of her success. Rúmil hedged for a moment on the path before he took the only reasonable measure and went, uninvited, to their Lady's garden.

To his relief she was there and as if waiting, she turned her head from the pool and he nearly stumbled into her presence.

"Sit," she said, her voice rumbling like a brook. He obeyed, dizzy as she approached. She brought and placed in his hand a fig. "Eat," she said.

He stared at it, having had nothing but a bite of lambas bread all month and not taken fruit in over a year. He did not refuse her, he could not and once the sugary sweetness was consumed, she offered him water.

"You have been awakened," she said. With horror he searched her unsympathetic beauty and she continued, "You were given opportunity to avoid this growth, but you succumbed to the temptation of hope promised. There is no shame, but there will be no pity for your struggle either. You must embrace it wholly or reject it without reservation. There is no middle ground now, too strong is the draw of your desire and too weak your will to fight it. Be warned, it will bring back the needs of your flesh that you have set aside."

"Desire?" he asked, licking his lips and tasting the sweetness of the fig still there. "It is not as it has been described to me."

"Your heart is still too covered in scars to feel the tender nuances," she said. "Though your eyes have born witness now to the potential of such ecstasies, the desire that draws you is not mere lust for physical pleasure of bonding. What you rightly fear is a much worse danger… the desperation to be known… and not as I know you, for you hide yourself well from me."

He swallowed and said, "Will I be haunted by sleep once more?"

"All elders who have eyes to see the growing darkness are haunted now, Rumil," she said and glanced to the mirror.

She stood and walked to the fountain; resting her hand on the stone she said, "I have no more counsel for you. You may remain here to recover."

As much as he longed sanctity, Rumil stood, and slowly left her presence. The substance he had taken starting to fill his need and clear his thoughts. So he would have to eat, and sleep; he knew that now and would set aside the time. There was no shame in it.

**Part 3 ~Feldor Weeks later**

"Steady!" Erindwyn cautioned as Feldor removed the pie from the oven. The pan was so hot that he could feel the metal burning through the cotton padding she gave him to use. He looked around at the counter space and saw no place to put it.

Her daughter squealed when he nearly dropped it, and he sucked in a breath, fearful of the pain and the mess he might make. Erindwyn reached over the table where she was working with a wood paddle. He gratefully set the treat on it and she gracefully dropped it on to a cooling rack behind him.

He turned to the child with both hands covering her mouth as she sat next to her mother on a stool. As he nursed his finger in his mouth he decided seeing the sparkle in her eyes and her giggles was well worth the pain.

"I am fool for letting you in this kitchen!" Erindwyn chuckled. She moved back to where she was kneading bread as she spoke, "You are slowing me down, worse than the children. That I say not to offend, because I am grateful for your company, I just wish you would sit and watch as they do and not insist on participating."

"I feel unusefullless," he said, coming to her side.

She laughed again and stuck her hands in a bowl of sticky dough. "It is useless or not useful. But you are neither." She nodded at her daughter who had returned to her glassy eyed staring at him. "I have never seen her sit still for so long." The sound of a babe crying brought a great sigh from Erindwyn. "Can you fetch him for me?" she asked.

"Yes!" Feldor said excitedly and went to the end of the room to where the child lay in a box on his stomach. It was a crude crib compared to the carved cradle Haldir had fashioned for his young. Only now was he sad that the twins had rarely used it before outgrowing it's size.

He lifted Erindwyn's son, just as Elienne had taught him and the child ceased his wailing immediately.

"You are better with babies than pies, I see," she said.

"Babies don't burn your fingers," he said, carrying him to his mother.

The young girl giggled again and her mother shook her head. "Keep him until I finish this batch and you will have made yourself more than useful."

He nodded, watching her as he walked around the kitchen, bouncing the eight month old in his arms.

It had taken them three stops inquiring around the border homesteads of Rohan before someone would even speak to them. Finally he had learned that Erindwyn was the name of the woman who ran an Inn just South of Isenguard.

She had recognized Feldor immediately and though glad to see him, had tried to send him off, regretfully claiming too much cooking to do for the Riders of the Mark who would stay at her here on their rounds guarding the land. Feldor insisted he could help her with her chores as he needed practice in the common language. He had imagined a leisurely baking regimen as with the elf chefs he had observed, but it was nothing of the sort. Since they started he had been slaving non stop and so was happy to help by holding her son.

As she kneaded she asked, "What is it you do, what is your trade, if elves even have them?"

"I am an apprentice of Haldir," he said as if it should mean something. When it clearly didn't, he added, "I am learning to be a guardian and I aspire to be an emissary. In trials I tend to lose most arguments, but my mentor has assured me he's seen those of my sensitive nature excel in diplomacy."

"How old are you?" she asked. "Our men start their training at thirteen and are fully pledged by seventeen, sometimes younger if they have the skill."

"I am sixty eight… no sixty nine." He smiled and explained, "I just had a birthday." She stared at him in disbelief and then lifted her brows as she continued to knead.

"You look _my_ age," she said.

"Twenty three?" he asked, having added up the years. She seemed pleased he knew. "How do you have so many children?" he asked.

"Not all of those here are mine!" she laughed. "I have been married for eight years but only these two little ones are my own. My husband was forty and a widower with four children when we met. I was lucky he chose me as his second wife, for he was already respected and wealthy. Having to build a life from nothing is no easy task. I am very blessed."

"Two wives?" he asked. She nodded as if it were nothing. "How can love be found twice?" he asked.

She laughed and said, "There was no love to it. I needed a husband and he needed a wife. He is a good man and he treats me well and I have been a good wife. We learned to love each other over time."

He watched her with awe at what he was learning. Though counter to everything he had learned about bonding, it made sense. Had he not grown to love his new family as much as his old? Excitedly he asked, "And you become mother to his four children?" he asked, and learn to love them as your own?"

"That would have been nice, but no. The stable boy who tended your horses when you arrived is twelve and we do not care for each other much. So long as he does his work and helps with the younger ones it is not a problem. Soon he will ride with his father and oldest brother who is seventeen... that one hates me!" She put the kneaded dough aside and sprinkled more flour on the counter, to start on another mound. "For some children, only an enemy would try to replace their mother."

Looking outside in the yard she said, "The other two boys are eight and ten and I love them very much. I've had them since they were toddlers and they don't remember their real mother much." She smiled and said, "It looks like one of your brothers is keeping them from their chores!" She turned to her kneading again and said, "Don't stop him, they get so little attention. It's good for them."

Outside in the small area between the Inn, garden and stables he saw Lamer catching a ball and then being chased by one boy before he threw it to the other. In the garden were three girls, also distracted from their chores, though it seemed for different reasons by the way they giggled and waved for his brother's attention. Lamer paid them polite notice but shook his head and backed away when one offered him a flower.

"Who are the girls flirting with my brother?" he asked.

"Are they? That is not surprising!" Erindwyn said, amused. "We sometimes pay their mother to wash the linens and she leaves her three teens with me to garden when she helps her husband and his brothers tending their fields. They give us produce and grain as payment for their home inside the gate and my watch on the girls during the day. I think all three are hoping for husbands among the men who stay here tonight. Their eldest sister just married two years ago, so the odds are good."

As he turned from the languageless fun going on outside, Feldor tried to imagine what kind of life her husband has lived in half of his own lifetime. Until now Feldor had always thought mortal's lives abbreviated and empty. It might be condensed and difficult but it certainly was very full.

"I should like to meet your husband to how do you say, admire... give my respect...honor?"

She eyed him sideways and said, "That is a kind thought, but he would not like that his wife has spent so much time in the company of such a handsome elf. He is noble, but as jealous as any other man."

Feldor had to smile at her perception of him as handsome, given that most she-elves seemed to mildly tolerate him at best. The only exceptions were his family, but Elienne and Lien didn't count and it had been so long since he had thought of Dari in such a way. As he considered the possibility of her sharing such an opinion, a warm flush quickly warned him of the danger allowing his mind such wanderings. He was grateful when Erindwyn spoke again.

"Have I left you speechless?" she asked.

He nodded and then remembered Haldir's lessons on the response to compliments and reflecting customs during unknown social occasions. "Thank you," he said. "And you are a beautiful and a hard working wife… and mother. Your husband is wise to be jealous."

She smirked and then put the pans of bread dough in the oven. She then went to the back door and called out for one of the boys playing with Lamer. As she told him to fetch her a pail of water he kept peeking into the kitchen at Feldor. Once he ran off, she lugged out a large bag of potatoes from a closet and began peeling.

"I was in love once," she said. He looked at her amused expression and froze with wide eyes when she added, "With you." She chuckled at his his response and quickly said, "Oh, don't worry, my dreams ended when my father explained how different elves are from men."

"What did he say?" he asked.

"That your lives are pampered and protected, you hardly work at all because you hardly _need_ to work… You don't get sick or grow old and rarely marry. He also said it was unusual to meet elves because the March Wardens limit contact with outsiders to prevent making friends who turn traitor. I was truly surprised this morning that you were permitted to visit. But glad."

Feldor noted quickly that compared to her life, everything she was told was true. He looked at the baby in his arms who had fallen back to sleep and realized he might experience more of love in his short life than Feldor would in a thousand years.

"Before today," she said, starting to cut the potatoes, "I thought that perhaps that was why you were so lovely and untouched by nature. That it was weakness and laziness that kept you from being more like the rugged, brutish men who must work themselves to an early grave." She stopped cutting for a moment and put the potatoes slices in a pot. "But you have worked very hard, without any complaint. And women's work is not below you, not even tending to an infant."

"I could do more," he assured her, "If I knew what to do. I do learn quickly... today was not a good example..."

The boy pushed his way into the door and she went over to take the pail of fresh water. He gave Feldor a warning look before she sent him on his way and carried the water to pour in her pot of potatoes.

"There is no need for excuses, Feldor," she said, lowering the empty pail. "Your elders have merely created a world for you where there is no need to live as we do. I envy your life. I envy it for my children." She walked up to him slowly and added, "There is such innocence in your simplicity."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You have the heart of a child in the strong body of a young man," she said. Then her smile changed slightly, she raised a brow and sighed before she said, "And you are far too noble for my liking."

The words he knew, but the meaning made very little sense to him. Before he could question her on it, the boy in his arms began crying. She took him without a word and Feldor watched as she readied to feed him.

Instead of nursing in front of him, she excused herself and told her daughter to show him how to sweep the bar.

"This may take a while, will you watch her for me?"

He nodded and as if she had been put in charge, the girl led him to the broom closet. He then proceeded to follow her ridiculous instructions, moving all the chairs about as she did the work of sweeping the dirt into a dozen tiny piles on the floor. He was holding the dust pan for her weak strokes when the door opened.

It was Lamer. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Dari and Lord Rúmil are back from their ride and he is having fits that we will not return to Lorien by dark." He took a few steps in and grinned. Squatting down, he cooed, "Aw... the tiny ones are just as ugly as the big ones!"

"She is not," Feldor defended. "She is dirty and in rags, but if she was cleaned and dressed in silks, this one might be of comparison beauty to Lien."

His smile not fading, Lamer said, "Impossible. Look in her eyes, she is far too sad." He gave her an exaggerated pout and then tapped her nose, bringing a bashful smile and causing her to bury herself in Feldor's apron. "Look at that!" Lamer said proudly as he stood up. "I am a wizard charmer here in Rohan!"

The door opened again and Rúmil took one look at the scene and asked sarcastically, "Are you earning a wage for all this work?"

"I think he's this girls slave, actually," Lamer jested.

Rumil looked down at her and Feldor said, "Erindwyn put her daughter in my care as she went up to nurse her son."

"Send her to her mother, we're leaving," Rumil said and walked out. Lamer followed, gesturing for Feldor with wide eyes. He looked around at the darkening room and said to the girl in her language, "Come." She took his hand and when he stepped outside, Orophin approached him.

"How did it go?" he asked. "Was your conversation worth all those years of studying her language?"

"I learned more today about the world of men than in all of my years hearing elves describe them."

He was about to explain more when a sound of rumbling in the distance was heard.

Rúmil did not hesitate, "A herd of horses can mean only one thing... We must leave now, there is no discussion." He whistled and Sullendry started toward them from where Dari was with Sully and the stable boy. "Don't just stand there, go fetch the others!" he ordered Lamer.

"But Estel spoke so highly of the Rohirrim," Lamer said, disappointed. "Can we not stay and meet them?"

Orophin took his brother's side. "I promised Haldir we would would not linger or engage too many men. That rumbling sounds exactly like too many."

Rumil climbed down the stairs and up onto Sullendry as Dari rode Sully over to them, followed by the stable boy coming after her, bringing the other three horses.

"I too would would like to meet these men," Feldor said. "Erindwyn's husband is among them."

"Estel is not here," Orophin said. "And you are the only one who speaks their language. Do you trust your ability to smooth over any misunderstanding between us and an army of men with swords?"

Thinking on what Erindwyn had said about her jealous husband, he had to agree. "I at least have to say goodbye!" Feldor said.

"This sounds like a discussion!" Rúmil snapped from Sullendry's back. Orophin took his horse from the stable boy and Lamer took his, both climbing upon them.

Feldor knew the tone well and rather than wear the burden of his elder's scorn, he whipped off the apron and squatted down next to the girl. "Go in and tell mama I have to leave? Do you know where she is?"

She nodded and ran inside immediately. She did not speak much, but she was smart, that was certain. As Feldor was taking his horse, the stable boy asked, "You speak our language, will you tell your brother something for me?" He looked up at Dari who was watching them.

"All right," Feldor said, climbing on his horse.

"I want to buy his horse," he said. "I have no money today, but I will get it from my father tonight. I will pay whatever he asks."

Rumil rode to the gate and was followed by Orophin, both of them waiting impatiently. Feldor looked at Dari and said with a grin, "I am afraid you are going to break his heart."

"He knows I'm female?" she exclaimed in horror.

"No," Feldor said. "He wants to buy Sully."

Dari looked at the boy and then let out a relieved laugh and shook her head before riding off, just as Erindwyn came out the door.

The boy was furious at her reaction and turned to his step mother. "These elves are elitist snobs, just like father warned us they would be!"

He took off running out the gate and towards the sound of the horses coming over the hills.

"Feldor!" Orophin shouted.

"The elders insist," he said to her. "I must go… I will never forget today."

"Please come back if you can?" she said. Until that moment Feldor had not considered returning. "You are welcome anytime my husband is not here. Bring something to trade though, just in case."

"I cannot promise," he said. She kissed her hand and waved as he and Lamer rode off with the others.


	12. Sisters and Swords

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews! I was flying high as I wrote this as they came in. :)**

Part 1 ~Dari

It was good to see Feldor so happy, but the ride out in the open with Sully had been an unexpected reward to the trip. It was visible how the quick sprint home had lifted his spirits as well.

"You want to go back, I can see it in your eyes," she said to him when she washed him down in the Lorien stables.

It was still dark the next morning when they arrived home and Orophin and Rúmil, both irritated with the three of them, left their chores for Feldor as consequence for not listening in Rohan. Dari and Lamer had offered to help him, but despite his exhausted from working all day, he agreed with their punishment for the extra time he took.

"What you said to your horse," he said to her, "Do you think it's possible? I mean soon and not in another ten years. I was too afraid to ask the elders with their mood so against me."

"I would go," Lamer said.

Dari wasn't so sure. "I doubt we could convince Rúmil and Orophin to return."

"Might Haldir lead us?" Feldor asked. "If he was there to help with the interpretation, we could meet the Men of the Mark without fear of my misspeaking."

"He's your mentor not mine," Dari said. "Though I can tell you this, if Haldir agrees to bring me along, Rúmil will likely not be shown up by it. He only came this time because I made as if I would go without him..." she raised her brows as she remarked with mocking, "...and he cannot have that!"

Her comment was not found as amusing as she meant it and awkwardly she continued brushing Sully as the brothers exchanged glances and then whispers below her hearing.

After a while of the two of them sounding to be plotting and arguing, Haldir's voice was heard at the door and silenced them. "There he is, Haldor!" Dari looked to see the large elf put his tiny son down. The boy ran up to Lamer and was swept up into his arms on cue.

"What is this beautiful elfling doing awake at this hour!" he said, lifting him and kissing his cheek. "I'm guessing you found the present I left?"

"He has the ears of a hare and was up looking for you as soon as my brother's checked in with me."

Haldor held up a little doll and Dari came around her horse to see that unlike the many dresses and robes that had come with Liendriel's birthday gift from Mirkwood, this tiny elf was fitted with armor and a sword.

"You did!" Lamer exclaimed. "That was quick. You are smarter than my hiding abilities."

"It was not the best gift," Haldir said strutting into the stable. "His mother is not keen on him learning the ways of war quite yet and I am concerned of how he uses the sword to stab his sister's toys." He crossed his arms looking at his son who lifted the sword arm of the warrior. With a sigh Haldir said, "Not nearly as concerned as Liendriel who screeches as if she were the one being pierced."

"Oh no," Lamer said in pseudo scold. "Haldor! Are you being naughty to your sister?"

The boy smirked and Dari had to cover her mouth to keep from smiling. She too felt the large box of antique dolls and dresses from Prince Legolas had been too grand a present and much too fussed over in comparison to the pens he had sent to Haldor.

"I keep telling him I will have to take it away if he does not stop," Haldir said. And then to Haldor he asked, "And what do you say to that, my son?"

The boy pointed at Haldir and with a cheeky expression said, "No!"

Feldor gasped. "When did he start to talk?"

"First and only word I have heard," Haldir said, chagrined. "Though he converses regularly with Elienne in private. He wrote it down when I was instructing him on the proper care of his pen set. I had to ask him twenty times what the scribble meant before he spoke the defiant thing." Placing his hands on his hips he said, "How can I tell him not to defy me when it's the only thing he says?"

"May I offer some advice, M'Lord," Dari spoke up. "On how to encourage him to speak?"

Haldir turned to her with a smile and said, "Please! I am desperate..."

"Keep him away from Liendriel," she said, watching the boy's reaction to her jest. "If she was not there to speak for him all the time, maybe he would find his own voice."

"She does that for all of us, doesn't she?" Haldir said. "What do you think Haldor, what should I take away from you for your defiance, your doll or your sister?" The elfling on Lamer's hip looked at the doll carefully as if he was really thinking about it and then turned toward Dari and threw it at her.

So unexpected was it, that it hit her in the face before she could move.

"Haldor!" Haldir said taking him by the shoulders. "No!"

Feldor was quickly by her side and as he declared the inspected damage minimal she watched the toddler stare down his own father. Then as if he knew what he was doing he said calmly. "Yes."

Haldir let go of him and backed up. "By the wood this one hates me!"

"Only in comparison to Lien who worships you," Lamer said chuckled..

Haldir hummed and then said, "Could you take him home, Lamer, and put him to bed?" He glanced at Sullendry and added, "It looks like I shall have to make my rounds this morning on foot to give my friend a rest."

"Certainly," Lamer said, overjoyed by the task.

But then, as Haldir left, he added. "And you may keep the doll. He made his choice."

Haldor was calm and almost eerily controlled until Haldir was well away and then he went for the warrior in the hay. The brothers handled well his kicking and crying as Dari, retrieved the doll where it had landed in beside her. When she stood with it, Haldor eyed her and stopped his tantrum.

She came up to him with it and lifting it to where she had been cut, she rubbed the sword in the blood on her face, and held it up for him to see.

"You did this," she said. "It hurts. You hurt me, Haldor."

"Dari, stop, you'll traumatize him!" Lamer warned.

"No, wait," Feldor said. "Go ahead, Dari."

In the boys eyes she saw something of understanding, so she continued. "Swords used on your sister's dolls are like stabbing her in the heart." She took her right hand and thumped her flattened chest with it, causing the boy to startle. When his eyes left her hand and looked in her face she said, "Words can be used like swords, Haldor. You hurt your sister with this doll and you hurt your father with your defiance, just..." She pointed to her face and finished, "like you hurt me."

Lamer squat down and put his arms around the elfling, saying, "Stop being so cruel."

"Am I?" she asked harshly of Lamer. Then to Haldor she said sweetly, "Am I cruel, Haldor?"

It took him several moments but then he said, "No."

Lamer was unimpressed, "We have no idea if he understand what you actually said... that's the only word he knows."

"I know more," Haldor said. Lamer's eyes grew wide and the elfling asked, "Please don't tell."

"Why would you not speak if you can?" Feldor asked.

When the boy did not answer, Dari offered, "Maybe because there's no point if nobody listens." He met her eyes and her heart broke for him. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek and whispered, "I forgive you." She held up the doll and asked, "May I hold on to this and protect him until your father changes his mind? You know he will. I does not stay hurt for long." He smirked and then nodded.

She stood, putting the doll in her satchel and Lamer picked him up the toddler who snuggled with sleepiness into his neck. "I'll clean your horse, Lamer," Dari said to him. "Make sure that little one gets an extra hug tonight."

When they left, Feldor asked, "You spend so little time with the twins, almost avoiding them. So how did you know what to say?"

She dabbed her cheek with a piece of linen and said, "If I tell you, will you tell me of your conversation with Erindwyn?"

"I have no secrets," he said.

"Experience," she admitted. "I know how he feels... I only avoid them because their feelings are so raw and it reminds me of my own. Haldir is more like my father than I care to remember." She led Sully to his open pen and picked up on Lamer's horse where he had left off. "I only told him what I needed to hear."

"You've changed so much from when we met," Feldor said. "And not just what you wear."

"I hope so. If I were still that spoiled princess I was back in Darkwood I would ask you to take a real sword to me." He laughed, knowing her jest. "Now tell me, what did your friend say to you?" she asked.

They finished up with the horses as Feldor told her everything, almost word for word at times and it was enough to bring warning to her heart.

"If you go back, she will try to seduce you," she said when he was done.

"You are talking scandal where there is only friendship!" he scoffed. "She is a noble woman."

"If she said you are _too_ noble, she means she wishes you were not. Since you did not seduce her, she has invited you back so she can try."

"You are talking nonsense," he said. "You did not hear her tone, it was very respectful."

Staving her temper she hissed, "I am talking experience, and if you do not heed me, you are more daft than a five year old mute." When he merely laughed, she tried again. "Even if she does not try, Erindwyn told you her husband was jealous, why risk visiting again?" He went thoughtful and she added, "You have seen Haldir with Legolas when he is around my sister?" He nodded. "Imagine that fierce stupidity in the form of a mortal man with no assurance that his wife would die if she were untrue to him?"

Feldor lost all sense of amusement and exclaimed, "I have never heard Haldir referred to as stupid except by his sour brother's perspective."

"Rúmil's perspective is more sound than sour!" she said.

"Perhaps your blinded belief in his infallibility is why all your warnings are dark and your mood towards others is like a winter chill. He has tainted your views on friendship and love!"

His disparity of her mentor filled Dari with such rage that she could think of nothing to say and instead came at him with undecipherable intentions. His training at hand to hand was superior and he easily avoided her momentum, twisting his posture with a foot out to catch her ankle. As she fell, Dari grasped hold of Feldor's tunic, bending her leg around his knees and landing them both in the hay, unfortunately with him on top.

"Let go of me!" she protested, struggling beneath his weight.

With fright, he bargained, "Only if you promise not to attack me again!"

As she fought for her freedom one of the horses behind them snorted, as if only half interested in the trivial dispute. Feldor's strength proved too much and Dari conceded quickly to her helplessness.

"Alright, I promise," she said. He sat up, his leg still over her stomach, and gripping her two wrists. "Why did you do that?" he gasped.

"Rúmil did not choose to be as he is," she burst out, "but he has learned from it! And what I have learned from him I will not have scorned!" Apologetic, he let go and her hands fell to the sides of her head.

"You could have just told me that," he said, sliding off of her completely. She put an arm over her forehead and he asked, "This passion… it is because of how much you care for him, isn't it?"

She looked over at his distraught expression and reassured, "I care for all my brothers, including you, Feldor. I do not want to see you hurt." She gestured, exasperated as she accused, "But you are so stubbornly idealistic, you never listen!" She let her arm fall over her eyes again and pushed down the escaping emotions. "You do not understand how easy it is to be swept away… how potent desire can be."

Then, as if haunted he said in a hush, "Yes I do." Dari peeked out again and closing his eyes he continued, "I never wanted to tell you… he said it was better if I didn't. But I have long thought you should know."

"Know what?" she asked, sitting up.

"Legolas," he started, staring blankly at the ground before him. "He never saw you. It was I who came in… When he found me in shambles, I confessed what I had witnessed. He fetched Elienne and told me to stand watch and to say nothing. When she went in to you, he told me the assumptions being made and that there was no need to correct them."

"You and Legolas conspired to lie?" she asked scooting away with a feeling that she should cover herself again.

"He asked me to let him bear the consequence because it would be easier for you if you did not believe the offender was living on your flet. At first it was sheer stunning that kept me silent. When I saw later how you were suffering with such needless shame, I agreed and kept mum. My sympathy for your struggle helped me decide to bear my agony alone. By the time you became Maethriel, I had mostly put all lust out of my mind."

"Why tell me at all, then?" she asked. "Now everything between us is going to change!"

"I told you so you would believe me!" he fretted. "Erindwyn would never try to seduce me, but if she did, I know I would not succumb. She is lovely, but," His eyes met Dari's as he said, "I was tested by a greater beauty and I know how strong the desire is when one is bond ready … but I am stronger. I will only give in to such feelings by choice; this I believe with my whole heart." He put his hand on his chest as if to swear and said, "As far as it depends on me, nothing will change between us. I love you as my sister."

"What if _I wanted_ it to change?" she asked. His hand fell to his knee and his brow creased. She ran her hands over her bound chest and as she asked, "What if I revealed myself to you again? And then…" She leaned forward and lightly stroked one of his fingers with hers. "What if I began touching you..."

"You are teasing me!" he warned, flinching his hand away.

She pulled back again and said sternly, "No, I am demonstrating the difference between desire for someone with no interest in you verses a female who flaunts her availability in front of your face. Willpower is woefully weakened when the risk of rejection is removed."

Feldor's countenance went introspective and after a moment he repeated, "The risk of rejection… my heart agrees with the truth of it. When I stood before you, the greatest warning I heeded was the knowledge that I would offend you."

Satisfied he understood, she pushed herself to get up and finish her work, but he begged, "Wait, Dari… please?" His pitiable face beckoned her sympathy and she hesitated. "Given your education of me in this new perspective, will you explain to me how the paradigm might fit with another suspicion my brother and I share?"

Curious more than anything, Dari sat to listen, hugging her bent her legs.

As if presenting in a trial, Feldor prepare himself in a posture for an argument. As usual, his tone was uncertain and gentle rather than accusatory as Haldir continually pressed him to demonstrate.

"During guardian posts, Lord Rúmil insists on sharing your flet. And just this morning you admitted that he will not allow you to leave the wood even under Haldir's watch." She nodded, though wary of where this was leading. "And you have not heard it, but the comments he makes when other elves vie for your attention are some of his sharpest insults we have yet to witness… _even though_ he watches you with the same intense admiration he loathes in their eyes."

"Make your point!"

"Is it possible that your strong feelings you've demonstrated for him in your attack of me are mutually shared?"

"Of course he has feelings for me," she dismissed. "In fact, I accused him of jealousy once and he outright admitted it. But he has also made it abundantly clear that I am not even his friend. Thus, it only makes sense that his protective passion is rooted in my being his charge. As any outstanding mentor might, he takes pride in my learning, my safety and my honor. So there is no mystery here for you to uncover or matchmaking to be done, if that is what you are trying to do."

"Forgive me, but I was not done," Feldor said. Dari sighed and gestured for him to continue. "You did not live with him before he met you. He has changed every bit as much as you have, everyone sees it. He has been caught smiling many times and though he does not laugh, he participates in jests at parties where he used to find the gatherings themselves irritating. And even more odd, Lamer has seen him eating!"

"So what!" she said sitting with crossed legs now. "I am glad having a student has connected him to the joys of life again. It does not mean anything more! Without evidence your case is invalid."

Feldor said nothing for a moment and then as if he thought of something new, he smiled and said, "You suggested something to make a point." He glanced down at her mouth and then quickly back at her eyes. "But I think he would become jealous if we were to become closer."

"He wants me to have friends, Feldor," she denied. "And of all the males in the wood, he practically pushes me toward you for that purpose."

"Yes, but what if that is because he knows you think me a fool? If you began to actually admire me, he could start to feel different."

Dari thought on his words and as the possibility of his perspective sank in, she started to chuckle. "I do not think you a fool," she said, rubbing her tired eyes. "It is more that you are naïve and ignorant of so much… I know you are intelligent. And I do admire your kindness."

"Whatever your regard for me," he said. "Can you agree to my point?" After a pause she glanced at him and he said, "This is the best argument I have ever made, Dari, please… even if you do not think there is enough evidence, tell me there is some merit in the logic. Based on what I have said here, Lord Rúmil may have feelings for you that go beyond that of a mentor… or brother."

Everything in her wanted to deny it again, and were it any other elf making the accusation she would have been angry or laughed it off. But Feldor was so sincere and humble, and he wanted so badly to be right that his anxious hope bid her empathy to be honest. She gave a small, careful nod and his smile broadened.

"What is to be done about it?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "I acknowledge only the possibility, the probability is far too remote."

"But if you care for him, you must care for the truth!" he said, nearly as gleeful at her potential for love as one might be for their own. She shook her head and he insisted, "Securing that knowledge could change everything about your approach!"

"Knowledge and approach would prove nothing if he did not choose to respond," she said.

"Ergo your risk of rejection," he said. She opened her eyes wide and gave a single nod. He chuckled and said, "I understand the fear, for I would not have breached the topic with you if I had not accidentally elicited a passionate response verifying my suspicions."

His cockiness at winning irked her but rather than become angry, it inspired in her a thought beyond devious. "Yes, almost all you do is on accident, but what if it were done with a purpose." He tilted his head curious and she explained. "If you are right, jealousy may persuade him to make his feelings known."

"You mean to trick him into a display?" he asked.

Dari felt her smile turn wicked and raised a brow. "Do you want to engage in a bit of a game?" Stronger warning crossed his features and she pressed on. "Could you bear a subtle increase of my attention and affection in company if you knew it was meaningless?" As his uncertainty grew, she spoke to capture his interest before thinking through the promise, "If you would agree to be a silent participant with the full responsibility of flirtation on me, I will do what I can to secure another visit to Erindwyn's Inn for you."

"But you said she would seduce me and your warning was convincing."

"I will be your chaperon!" she said. "Opportunity plays an important part in temptation's success. We will simply not provide one. And we will keep it short as to not arouse her husband's suspicions."

"I feel I will win in every way here!" he exclaimed and then explained, lmost embarrassed, "Even if it is subtle and for play, your affection is more than I could ever hope for from a she-elf."

"That is pure self-depreciation," she scoffed, standing. "It has no place in reality." As she walked away she turned slightly and said, "You will see, if other she-elves see my interest, it will likely inspire some of their own… perhaps I shall help train you to become more attractive as well."

He stood and said, "Being handsome is a gift of birth and not to be acquired. Either I am or I am not and it is most certainly the latter… at least to our kind."

With her hands on her hips Dari said, "This is what I mean by naïve, Feldor. Attraction is like a skill that merely uses your birth right aesthetic." He was having nothing of it and she stepped towards him admitting, "When you sit alone quietly in thought, Feldor, you are more handsome than even Haldir. It is when you start to speak and carry yourself insecurely that any interest of that potential devastating allure dissolves." As an added bit of humor she chuckled and said, "It is like being heir to a masterfully crafted sword and then only playing with it and wagging it around as would a child. You need to learn to hold up your sword confidently and stiff so that some day you will be rewarded to stick it swiftly and hard into your prey."

She watched him think on the analogy and when at last the innuendo was realized he glared at her with flushing cheeks. "You have spent too much time with crude elves who forget you are a lady," he accused.

Dari let out laugh and turned to Lamer's horse. She had enjoyed the company of unguarded elves but as she thought of engaging once more in flirtation, she began to long to dress as herself again. Perhaps that time would come sooner now.

...

For three months Dari subtlety preferred Feldor whenever she had opportunity to demonstrate her desire in front of Rúmil. Sitting next to him, serving him his meal and even leaning on him once during a quiet evening of songs when Muriel visited. At first it seemed the only one taking notice was Lamer, who would excuse himself from their presence to, not keep them from intimate conversation.

And then once when the eyes of her sister were on them from across the room, Dari slipped her hand into Feldor's while they lingered alone after others had left. She whispered an explanation that they were being watched and as they sat scheming on the schedule of the guardians for a time they might slip away unnoticed, Rúmil entered. He had taken one look at the two of them and left, so quickly that Lien had not managed to get up from her dolls on the floor to give him her insisted embrace.

Feldor's part was more than fulfilled even though the evidence was wanting and Dari felt an increased pressure to make good on her part of the bargain. However, no opportunity presented itself for them to make an excuse for an extended time away together until the day they had notice of a visitor who arrived before dawn. He would be escorted in from the south, leaving a flet post empty until the evening. First she had to meet with the visitor, having been the one inviting him back to them.

"Are you certain you are comfortable?" Elienne asked her, leading Dari over the bridge. "I told him you preferred to speak with him alone, but he wants to make sure."

"He's there, on the flet above?" she asked.

Elienne nodded and said, "Liendriel was beside herself to meet him and would not go down until late last night. She still sleeps, but she will ask me first thing and I dare not lie."

Dari nodded and climbed the ladder quickly. There standing at the rail looking out over the kingdom stood Legolas. When he heard her he turned and greeted her formally.

"M'Lady Darimaethea, it is a pleasure."

"Was it?" she asked. He stood and she smiled at him. He looked down at his folded hands and she added, "You are a poor liar, Legolas, but as noble as Elienne swore." She walked toward him and leaned on the railing where he had been as she said, "Feldor told me the truth months ago. It is why I wrote asking you to return."

"He is brave," he said. "When I was close to his age, I was a bumbling, weeping mess based on one missed kiss from your sister."

"That is not how she tells it," Dari said.

"Because she is generous," he said and turned to lean on the rail with her. "How are things between you and Feldor now? Is he still as a brother, for I have heard opinions otherwise."

"From my sister?" she asked. He nodded and she smirked. "She is a romantic. Feldor is as my brother and I am as a brother to him, as you can see." He looked uncomfortably at her attire and she said, "Do you think it worth being honest with everyone now? Feldor has kept the secret in honor of your generosity. He did not want to call you a liar to the elders."

"It will be a simple thing to explain to Elienne but.. Haldir may find new reasons to disdain me."

There was a scream from below and Legolas jumped to the ready but Dari laughed and said, "It is only Lien's joy."

"I can climb!" came her voice up from below. "I have done it before!"

"Prepare yourself," Dari said, standing back.

When the she-elfling reached the flet her face, haloed with golden curls, was as bright as the morning sun rising. "LEGOLAS!" she squealed and ran for him. He went down on one knee as she came at him with a confounding embrace. She then proceeded to kiss him, with thank you's in between as she took quick breaths and spoke of her love and affection. He fell over backwards onto his bottom just as Elienne made it to the top.

"Is this over the dolls?" Legolas asked Elienne.

"They are so beautiful!" Lien cooed. "And all the dresses, I shall only aspire to have as many some day. I love them so much. And I shall love you forever for thinking I am worthy of a gift meant for a princess! " She wrapped her arms around his neck again, nearly weeping and Elienne looked down on the captive elf with apologies.

"Shall I pull her off?" Elienne asked him.

Legolas was laughing and shook his head. "Please, don't you dare. I have never had such affection before."

Dari watched as he sat there with her niece sitting on his lap, talking way too quickly to be understood clearly by anyone. Lien began to tell him of all the adventures her favorite doll, whom she had given the ridiculous named Legladarwen, had in the garden under his tree. To his credit, Lien had never had such a captive audience.

Without bothering to say goodbye, Dari passed her sister to climb down again and asked, "Is Haldir below, approving of this display?"

"Mercy no," Elienne said. "He's off making rounds on Sullendry until tomorrow."

"Ah," she said. "Did he take Feldor with him?"

Slowly her sister said, "No…" Then with a smile she whispered, "I told him to take Lamer." Dari pretended to be bashful and Elienne whispered, "There is a basket I made for a morning picnic with the twins and Legolas, you take all of it and bring Feldor with you. I will make another for us."

Dari gave her sister a kiss and quickly descended. She grabbed the basket, ran over the bridge and nearly into Rúmil.

"Excuse me, M'Lord Rúmil," she said formally. He looked at the basket and she said, "May I take leave of my lessons today for a picnic with Feldor?"

"No," he said. "We have had the target range scheduled for this afternoon since last week."

Testing him Dari said, "Of course, it would probably be a bad idea for us to spend so much time alone together anyway."

"And why is that?" he asked, annoyed.

Lost at his direct question, she was grateful when Feldor came out of their home and saw her on the bridge with Rúmil. "We shall have to cancel our plans. Lord Rúmil does not approve of my socializing when there are bow strings to be pulled."

Rúmil looked at Feldor and to his credit for finally learning to speak with confidence, her friend said, "If Haldir would work me that hard you would not be surpassing my skill in archery."

Unfaltering Rúmil said, "If your mentor has left you with nothing to do, you could come and train with us. We have the entire range." He looked at Dari, narrowed his eyes and said, "That is if my student is willing to share me."

Dari looked at Feldor who gave her a look of dread; the last thing he wanted was a day with his least favorite of Haldir's brothers. "Oh, it will be fun!" she said, running to him and taking his arm. "We will still be together. And on break we can have our picnic. We can pretend that Lord Rúmil is our chaperon and sneak kisses behind his back."

It was the most flagrant she had been yet, and she thought for sure her mentor, being wise to her, would call her bluff, but instead, something truly spectacular happened; he abruptly changed his mind.

"It is an inefficient and ineffective use of my time to train elves who would rather be elsewhere," Rumil said. "Go, have your picnic, get whatever frolicking you must out of your system."

It was a strange, sad excitement to feel the wind blow by her as he passed them back into the flet.

"I cannot tell what that was," Feldor said. "It seemed more frustration than jealous."

"Agreed…" she said. "I think we have our evidence and it is to the contrary of your suspicions.

"We can still go today, though?" he asked. He dropped the bag that was on his shoulder and whispered, "I have items to trade, just as she asked me."

Dari nodded and as they quietly took their weapons from the cabinet on the porch she could hear Rúmil raising his voice at Orophin; something he only did when truly irritated.

"Even if his romantic feelings for you are neutral, he will he be relieved when he finds out we are not really in love," Feldor asked. "He loathes romance in it's own right." Pushing down her disappointment, Dari did not answer. "We are going to tell him soon, aren't we?" he asked.

Walking down the steps to the forest she said, "It is not necessary. Elves can simply lose interest in one another."

Upon reaching the bottom he said, "I know it was just a game, but I will miss it."

Dari felt similarly, but did not want an admission to mislead him. "We should hurry there and back again and never mention where we went."

**Part 2 ~Elienne**

Elienne had finally completed the silver of the river embroidery to her quilt, a surprising accomplishment with Liendriel at her side asking to pull the thread through every other stitch.

The truth of it was her daughter had shown amazing patience considering Legolas had left with Haldor after their brunch and spent most of the afternoon breaking in his first bow at the empty range. As her daughter helped wrap up the unused thread she chattered on about what she and Legolas were going to do when he returned. Instead of her usual attempt to set realistic expectations, Elienne's mind continued to drift to the empty basket she had found in Sully's vacant stall when she had Lien had brought the horses apples.

While Lien was in the bedroom putting away the box of threads, the door opened and Haldor stepped in, grinning ear to ear. Elienne looked up at a concerned Legolas and asked, "I know that grin; he has been up to something."

"You'll have to ask him," Legolas said. "It was not my idea. In fact, I told him many times we should leave it in the kitchens; it would not be welcomed up here."

"Legolas!" Liendriel squealed, bolting towards him. He braced and took her pounce well. As he did, Haldor turned from his sister, backing away and revealing to Elienne what her son had hidden behind his back.

She got up quickly and said, "Come here Haldor… Legolas take her to see if Dari and Feldor are back."

"They are not," he said, "I just checked."

"What is that?" Lien asked, pointing to a spot of red on the floor. Her eyes followed the other drops too quickly for Elienne to snatch her son's prize from him.

"What did you do!" she demanded of her brother.

Haldor's eyes widened and he pulled out the tiny rabbit, still with an arrow in it and held it up for his sister.

No amount of coddling could calm her horror until Elienne took the dead creature, bagged it and stowed it away in a box for disposal on their next descent. Haldor, cross that his first catch had no meat to it, sat in a huff on the couch as Legolas rocked his weeping sister in the chair.

To her credit she had not called him a murderer, but her dramatic display was taking its toll on Elienne's patience. She sat by Haldor and he turned away at first but as she ran her nails gently on his back he gave in and came to her.

Once both twins had fallen asleep, Elienne whispered to Legolas, "Welcome to our family."

"Is it always this dramatic?" he asked.

"Usually," she said. "But what do you expect with their parents?" He laughed lightly and Elienne gently picked up her son and brought him to his bed in the other room.

When she offered to take Lien before slipping away to see if her sister was home from her picnic, Legolas insisted he hold her until Elienne returned. Walking across the bridge between their flets her heart felt heavy with warning. It was far too quiet. Before entering, she hesitated beside the weapons closet and then fearfully peeked in. There was no equipment inside besides Rumil's.

With purpose she knocked on the door. When none answered she remembered that at times Rúmil would ignore intrusions on his study time. She entered their home and approached his and Dari's room.

"Rúmil?" she spoke and knocked on his closed door. There was no answer and she knocked again louder and said, "Please, if you are in there, respond…" She heard something inside and said, "I know you think me rude, but your refusal to answer is creating a need to forgo protocol." She knocked again and said, "I cannot go find Haldir on his rounds and Orophin is on watch… you are the only one I have!"

The door opened quickly and she saw he was dressed in a lounging robe and the bed behind him was disrupted. He looked down at her with the same disdain she remembered from before her marriage. "I am sorry…" she started.

"Dispense with the apologies, what is the emergency?"

"Dari is not home…"

"I am well aware of that fact," he seethed.

"She went with Feldor somewhere."

"Correction, you sent her on a picnic with Feldor," he pointed out. "On a training day… and I was left explaining to Celeborn why I reserved the range so my nephew could play with the Mirkwood Prince."

"Stop it!" Elienne ordered, feeling tears start to well. "There is no need to be so cross with me. It will not change what I did or my hope that their love will blossom. But if you want me to be quick and concise in my question, so you can get back to the safety of your solitude, then alter your attitude for it is inhibiting my already heavy heart!"

As if taking measure of himself, Rúmil closed his eyes and took a breath.

"I apologize," he said. "Please speak your concern. Of course I am at the ready to assist if I am needed."

"Thank you," she said. "Their weapons are gone," she said. He nodded unsurprised. "So is Sully." That lifted his attention. "And the large basket of food I gave them was left, empty in his stall." Fear gripped her entire chest as Rúmil's eyes shifted. "It could be nothing… maybe they knew they were going to go riding and didn't want to carry it."

Turning from her he entered his room and took off his robe, revealing he was wearing only leggings underneath. Elienne turned from the open door and stepped away to give him privacy.

"Did they say anything about where they were going?" he asked. "In any conversation you have ever overheard?"

"No," she said. "Except…" Quickly he was at her side with his boots, fastening his tunic listening. "Twice they have asked Haldir to take them to visit Erindwyn, and to give Sully a chance to race in Rohan again." It was her worst fear and she asked as if begging him to counter her, "You don't think they would dare go alone?"

He sat to pull on a boot and said, "You know your sister better than I do, I am going to trust your judgment. I will have to borrow a sentient horse from a friend. If I am not back by then, tell Haldir when he returns I have gone to the Rohon Inn by Isengard."

"Trust my judgment?" she said. "I did not say I actually thought they left the wood. I came to ask your judgment."

As he grabbed a cloak and headed for the door he said, "You would not have interrupted me if were not sure."

When he stopped at the cabinet to take his own weapons she said, "Do not hold this decision against her too much… We all make mistakes."

He fixed his bow on his back and strapped on his sword and then turned to her.

"It is I who made the mistake," he said, unaffected. "I let my student out of my sight when I knew she was being deceitful. I fell because I was angry, a flaw I seem unable to resolve."

"Do you want to take Legolas?" she asked.

"No," he said. "This is a family matter." He turned from her to the steps and then hesitated, facing her again. "There is likely no reason to worry. She and Feldor are of age and are both well trained and I am certain there is a reasonable explanation for their deception."

"If you are not worried why are you going after them?" she asked.

He smirked as he thought on it and said, "Because she would never forgive me if I didn't."


	13. Truth and Trials

**Part 1 ~ Rúmil **

Riderless, Sully had found Rumil in the middle of the night on his way to the Inn. He approached and without more than a snort he ran off, expecting Rumil to follow. He considered it a good sign that the horse was confident and not frightened, for the creature was nearly as protective of Dari as he.

Finding the dead man with arrows that Rumil had crafted filled him with more curiosity, especially considering the tracks he spotted by the light of the moon showed Feldor had likely ran South next to Dari on horseback.

Coming upon the Inn, the somber mood was clear, but there was no sign of a tribunal or execution haven taking place. When morning came and the two elf youths were produced, fully well, Rúmil's heart swelled at their performance. Feldor stuck out his hand as a proper man kind farewell and it was taken by a large brute with his arm around the woman Erindwyn. Then, a man bandaged around his waist limped forward, offering a green cape.

Dari was obviously against it and after much discussion Feldor refused; only to have something else stuck in his hand and his fingers forced closed over it. Feldor nodded and they left. When Dari whistled her horse by Rúmil's side took off in a sprint and he mounted his steed, waiting for them to appear.

The shock on their faces when the saw him was followed quickly by near tears from his charge.

"We will talk at home," he said gently.

...

Arriving at the wood they were immediately greeted by Haldir, Orophin and Lamer, none more furious than Feldor's younger brother who swore he would not talk to him for a month as his brotherly punishment. At home, Legolas was charged with watching the twins as Elienne wanted to witness what was said.

With the two of them sitting in the center of the flet, Rúmil took his place by the door and Elienne sat by her sister. Lamer was at the table not even making eye contact with his brother and Orophin lounged casually on their largest chair, getting up only when Haldir entered.

Rather than sitting he stood above them until Feldor took to his feet, staring straight ahead. Dari was unsure, but then did the same.

"You may sit, Darimaetha," Haldir said, "The consequences for your actions will come by decision of your mentor."

When her eyes came upon him, Rúmil could not help but meet them and keep them until she felt the need to look away and sit.

"It is a simple thing, really," Haldir said to him. "I welcomed you into my home to train as guardian. It did not suffice; you wanted to study to become an Emissary, one of the highest ranking and most delicate positions among our people. Against my better judgment, I taught you the language of men so that someday, if you passed your trials, you might be fluent enough to engage with men under my supervision. Though losing every prosecution or defense you have led, I gave in to your pleas to thank a girl who helped you and bring closure that good deed done. Instead of conversation, you took a day to expand her expectations of friendship and then later, not having had your fill of mortal conversation, conspired to deceive my entire house, and risk danger and death!"

Rúmil was sincerely hoping all of this was for show, but given the edge in his brother's voice, he was not surprised at the pronunciation.

"Therefore, because of poor judgment shown, trust broken and advantage taken of my generosity, consider your request for training to engage other races, henceforth, denied. Furthermore, unless otherwise accompanied by myself or one of my brothers, you are indefinitely relegated to our wood and study of other languages or even the speaking of any but your native Sindarin is forbidden to you."

The poor youth's chest was rising and falling with emotion and beside him Dari swiped at a tear and then pulled her arm away from her sister's attempted comfort.

It was sad, Rúmil had to admit, the outcome having gone so well, and while he would take a different approach with Dari, he had no plans to interfere with his brother's unusually harsh decision. After a few moments, Haldir turned, appearing as sad as his apprentice as he approached the door.

And then Feldor spoke and Haldir stopped in his tracks at the words, "I formally contest this ruling."

Haldir's eyes lifted to Rúmil and the corner of his mouth lifted ever so slightly. Then, putting on offended airs he turned around and asked, "What did you say?"

The youth was shaken, but he held firmly, no question in his tone at all. "I contest your decision and request mediation."

Haldir took a step toward him and asked, "So be it, if you want to bring this decision to a trial between us," To Rúmil he turned and asked, "Will you preside?"

As if he could not speak quickly enough Feldor said, "I contest any mediator who has ever reported to you or to whom you report, for reason of a conflict of interest."

Haldir did not hide his amusement now, crossing his arms he said with a chime, "And I contest judgment from anyone who is not properly trained in arbitration… That in essence eliminates everyone else in the Galladhrim!"

"Then I request an arbitrator from outside our borders."

From the smaller chair near where Rúmil stood, Orophin quipped, "Legolas is available…"

Rúmil put a knuckle to his lips to stop his smile from being witnessed when Haldir slowly turned toward him with narrowed eyes.

"I would accept Legolas," Feldor said. "Or whomever else Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel appointed. I trust their wisdom in this matter."

"You…" Haldir started, whipping around, stunned. "You want to get the king and queen of Lothlorien involved in a_ family_ dispute?"

"I am not seeking an exercise, my Lord, I want a true decision. If I am a fool, I want to be made out as one clearly. Save for failing to leave word of our journey I did nothing wrong in my eyes. I am of age and Lothlorien is not a prison."

Under his breath, Haldir whispered, "By the wood he is serious." With more dignity than condescension, Haldir came before him and said, almost with sorrow. "You cannot win against me, you do realize that?"

For the first time Feldor looked into his mentor's eyes as he said, "I do not need to win, I only need to prove to you that I am worthy."

For a moment, Rúmil thought that might have been enough to change Haldir's mind, but instead of turning over his decision, he said, "I accept your challenge." He turned and when he reached the door, he stopped to look back. Feldor had already reached down to take Dari's hand. "Feldor," Haldir said. "Rather than wait until word can be sent to find a worthy mediator outside of our wood, I am going to take my youngest brother's advice for a change, and give myself a handicap. I accept Legolas, if he can be convinced."

"Better send Elienne," Orophin suggested flatly.

Again, Haldir looked at him, and his wife stood and before leaving said to Orophin, "Troublemaker!"

He gave her a cheeky grin and then leaned back, quite pleased, even as Haldir left less than pleased.

…

It took only a day to arrange and to Haldir's chagrin, Legolas had set up a public hearing. It seemed he trusted himself to be most honest the more eyes were on the trial. Haldir had asked for Rúmil to sit beside him as supportive council and were it not for Dari agreeing to assist Feldor, he may have done it. But they had not yet spoken and he did not want to risk antagonism between them before then.

So Haldir sat with Lamer at his table, a book and a scroll as reference while Feldor had brought a map, his own journal of laws and something he had set beneath a cup.

Orophin stood first to get quiet and announce, "Presiding over this mediation, Prince Legolas, trained by his father Thrangil, King of Mirkwood, he is of equal acquaintance to both parties and swears to be impartial." Legolas came into the court dressed in a fine robe, likely borrowed, and he wearing on his forehead a diadem of a more feminine nature than would have been expected.

In the audience, Rúmil had chosen to sit away from Elienne and the twins, but his niece had still found her way to his lap, promising to be quiet if he held her so she could see in his enviable position in the front row.

The opening statements were direct, with Haldir's being a simple restatement of what he had pronounced the day before. While Feldor was more respectful than convincing, because he was the one challenging his mentor's decision, Legolas asked him to lead right into his evidence. He first claimed that Haldir's decision was based less on his Feldor's abilities and more on the pride Haldir had of not losing any in his charge to death for decades. There were many present who had heard that brag before so Haldir gave no counter remarks.

It was not until Feldor made a weak point about his not being placed properly for learning the skills he had requested that Haldir began to exercise his more pointed refutes.

"In regard to the last accusation, if it pleases the court I would prefer to address my accuser directly."

Legolas did as most novice presidors would and allowed himself a glance at the potential witness before deciding. Feldor gave a nod, another irresponsible offense, but since it was in Haldir's favor, his brother said nothing of the improper etiquette.

"Go on," Legolas said. "But be gentle."

Haldir had his mouth open ready and then stopped. Preemptive direction from a mediator was offensive enough to demand a retrial, but without a response to the Mirkwood Prince, Haldir continued.

"Have you ever known me to say 'no' before, when you or your brother have requested any sort of lesson?"

Responding directly as well, Feldor said, "You are much too diplomatic to say 'no' you always say, 'later'."

On Rúmil's lap, Liendriel let out a giggle and whispered loudly to him, "He does, Feldor is right, Ada does that _all_ the time!"

It was heard by everyone in the court and most of the audience and Haldir looked to be trying to compose himself so as not to speak or laugh – it was difficult to know which.

Rúmil shushed her, but not before Legolas looked their direction. "Lien," he said from his pulpit. With sparkling eyes that went suddenly huge she turned and looked at him. When she saw he was not angry she smiled and waved to him. Gently, but firmly Legolas asked, "Who is wearing the diadem?"

She pointed at him and in that moment Rúmil recognized, it was hers! She had lent him a piece of her inheritance.

"That means nobody may speak unless I give them the moment, remember?"

She nodded and covered her mouth with both hands. Then, to Haldir, Legolas said, "Do you concede to the account of our witness.." he glanced at Lien and said, "Witnesses, that you use diplomacy to delay a request rather than deny it?"

"Yes, sometimes I do," Haldir said, glancing at his daughter who snickered quietly. "However," he said to the judge, "It is in the interest of exercising discernment for the correct _timing_…" He hummed and then asked, "May I address my charge again?" Legolas nodded and Haldir asked, "Your defiance to go without leave has unfortunately proven me correct in my decision that you were not yet ready to enter into the world of men unaccompanied."

Legolas turned his glance to Feldor who said anxiously, "You never told me I could not go alone, you only told me you were not ready to go with me. I do not deny that I was hasty and anxious and made an error in judgment being deceptive about my intentions, but I respectfully, disagree with you. I _am_ ready and the result of my time in Rohan proves that you have indeed trained me better than you know and should reevaluate your trust my interaction with men."

What would have been considered false flattery if it had come from a skilled arbitrator, from the humble Feldor, the sincerity showing through clearly charmed even the seasoned Emissary. Legolas as well wore a warm smile and nodded for Feldor to continue.

He went on to explain that he had learned directly from Erindwyn of the Rohirrim troubles with 'wild men', and that she had discovered from her husband the strategies of the Marshals in their reign over the people and protection of the lands.

"Then" he said, walking around with the air of an elder, "Without guidance from a mentor at hand, I was able to use that newly acquired knowledge to discern the genuine need for assistance of an innocent man among thieves." He turned toward Haldir and said, "Which is a very large leap of learning over my previous misunderstanding in Darkwood, where, may the court recognize, I _did_ have the guidance of two elders."

That comment left Rúmil cold, for her remembered well the ambush and was not keen to have their folly discussed in public.

"I am unfamiliar with that incident," Legolas said to Haldir

"I do not contest his point. There is no need to inquire on details."

It looked to be tempting to Legolas, but he differed to Feldor who said, "My mentor's acknowledgment that I have learned is more important to me than the mistake I made." Legolas gestured him on and Feldor said, speaking more to Legolas, "Then, because of my lessons with Lord Haldir to mimic the countenance of those in company equal to my rank, and to speak words considering more how the heart hears than the ear listens, when I had need to engage the Men of the Mark, I gained not only their trust that the man whom I brought forward was rescued and not wounded by me, but I also won their friendship."

He turned to the audience and said, "And I believe that this new friendship is not just for me, but for all of us. For as one woman has shown me the ways of her people, her kin now know that elves do not walk away from injustice, as if we are elitists too good to be involved with the struggles of mortals."

Feldor then lifted the cup that was sitting there and picked up a piece of silver with a green gem. He held up the ring and said, "This is a ring given to me by the man I rescued, Eomund, First Marshall of the Mark. It is a symbol of friendship between our families." Feldor slipped it on his finger and said, "I will wear it with pride as a sign that my first encounter with men on my own terms was a glorious success."

The pity of it was that Feldor had no idea the trap he had walked into with the choice of wording. Lien on Rúmil's lap was swinging her legs distractingly and he set her on the ground and whispered, "Go to your mother."

She whimpered to climb back up and as Haldir was given the floor, Rúmil gave in again, but lay a hand on her knee to stop her fidgeting.

"What have they seen?" Haldir asked, almost sadly. "An elf who sneaks behind a man's back to charm his wife into turning spy on their riders?"

"No!" Feldor protested. Legolas swiftly lifted a finger to him and Feldor held his tongue.

"And this rescue you made, have you elevated their expectations of us?" he asked. "Men often make demands of their friends to join them in their wars. Such alliances quickly turn to enemies when the refusal to engage for petty disputes is perceived as betrayal."

It was clear that Feldor had not thought about either of those points, having come from his own sunny perspective.

Legolas turned to Feldor and almost afraid, asked, "Have you a response?"

"That is not what will happen," he said, faltering for the first time. He looked at Dari and she nodded for him to continue. Renewed he turned to Haldir and said, "I saw in the eyes of those men, goodness and where there might have been jealousy, there was gratitude and no suspicion. Men make treaties with allies when it comes to war. This friendship," He held up the ring again and said, "is only the beginning, I know that and they know that. I have no proof to offer only my believe that you are wrong."

Not as a defendant against a riveting accusation, but as a kind mentor, Haldir said, "Only time will tell, Feldor. That is why we must be so careful. The risk to peace is too high for such uncertainties."

"But what of the uncertainty of what we will become if we continually do nothing and share this world with races whom we ignore as though they were wild creatures instead of intelligent, worthy souls?" Addressing the entire gathering he said earnestly, "If anything, Estel has proven to us that men and elves can engage and have meaningful interaction and understanding." To Haldir again he asked, "Why resist his example to us?"

"You would take the example of a mortal man you met once over your own elven mentor who loves you and has raised as his son?" Haldir asked sincerely.

Feldor grasped for an answer, his eyes darting back and forth slightly before he said, "Lord Elrond took Estel in. If he who was there when men fell has hope that they may rise again, why should we nurse our fears and throw away the wisdom of his exemplary council?"

Unable to tell if it was the argument or the passion that that sold his case the best, Rumil found even himself moved by the youth; not enough to want to engage men again, but enough to consider not disdaining that others might. Which was monumental, considering.

Legolas raised his hand and asked, "We are ready for a decision?" The two of them both nodded and sat.

On the charge of Feldor against Lord Haldir's decision to indefinitely keep his apprentice from training under him as an Emissary, including the study of languages and arbitration, this court rules… " The Prince let the suspense hang for a moment as if he enjoyed the attention before he stated with a smirk, "In favor of diplomatic discernment." There were a few chuckles in the crowd and even Haldir smiled, rolling his eyes. "Haldir," Legolas said, "The potential of your charge is obvious, but he is young and despite his natural intuition, he is in need of your guidance. Rather than pronounce a time, I trust your judgment over mine to decide when your pupil is ready. I hope you will trust mine in deciding that someday he will be."

Haldir was smug in the acceptance of the ruling, and Legolas turned to Feldor.

"Your mentor is the Emissary of the Galadhrim. Anything you do under his charge will not only reflect badly on him but on Lothlorien. As you stated eloquently in your opening, no elf is a prisoner, but authority to speak for others is a privilege, and that has yet to be given to you."

"So on the judgment of your decision as an elf of age to follow his heart and engage men without council from elders, I rule in your favor, under condition. If you earnestly believe your judgment superior to Lord Haldir's in any way, there would be no condemnation from this court for you to sever your apprenticeship and take on the life of an independent, adult elf, responsible for your own actions. Until you decide to establish that formality, you will do as your mentor says or he must do as he sees fit by way of consequence."

While Feldor heartily accepted the conclusion and Haldir took time to congratulate his student's boldness, Rúmil felt the heaviness of a sleeping child on his lap and adjusted her before he stood to carry her home.

He was almost proud of his brother for taking such a mild stance against his student, but then again, to some masters there was a special pride in being succeeded by a student who surpassed their own abilities. Feldor was not there yet, but Haldir likely hoped to encourage him today. Cuddling his niece with a kiss on her cheek, Rumil walked through the merry mumbling crowd.

"Lord Rúmil," Feldor asked him conspicuously rushing to him at the door. "Excuse me, but.. while we have this court in session, do you have interest in addressing your own student's reasons for accompanying me on our unscheduled excursion?"

"She prefers a public spectacle?" he asked.

"No, it is my suggestion. It may be easier for her to face you if I was her advocate," he said. "I already have a defense."

Rúmil frowned and said, "Presumptuous chivalry will never win you favor, Feldor. There is nothing to defend. I am proud of her."

"Do you at least want to know why she came with me?" he asked.

Liendriel stirred, turning her head from one direction to another and Rúmil said, "I wish to hear nothing of what happened unless it comes from her lips."

Frustrated, Feldor gave a nod and as Rúmil attempted to leave, Dari approached. She seemed to accuse Feldor with her eyes and then he did something most surprising.

"Thank you for your support!" he said to her. "I could not have done it without you." He put his hand behind her head and rather quickly and awkwardly, kissed her right on the lips.

The entire area fell into a hush and as Feldor backed away from her he added, "Please, meet with me after you speak with your mentor?"

He did not wait for her answer before he followed Legolas who was leaving the court. Then, at the last moment Feldor looked back, not at Dari, but at Rúmil! He glanced at his apprentice and she stood lip parted, stunned. Clearly the eyes on her around the room weighed heavily and she said to him, "We need to talk."

"Lead the way," he said growing more curious as he followed her silent footsteps through the spirals of steps and bridges to their flet.

Dari went ahead into their room while he took Lien home first. Elienne was already there with Haldor and when he walked in his niece awoke, ready at once to play after her afternoon nap.

Elienne met him at the door and asked, "How is everything between you and Dari?"

"I am about to find out," he said.

"She finally approached you? You seem rather peaceful compared to last we spoke," Elienne said.

Normally he would brush off personal questions, but his brother's wife always had a way of making Rúmil examine his unaffected heart. Her soft beauty reminded him of how Dari used to be before her transformation and it melted a bit of his chilled exterior. "It is odd, especially considering that up until now I have felt nothing but frustration against her pairing with Feldor and..." he reserved his volume as he said, "I just witnessed Feldor kiss her!"

"He kissed her?" Lien asked.

Elienne pushed him out the door and closed it, asking him, "How did she respond?"

"She did not," he said. "And he seemed more interested in my opinion than hers."

"Ah, I know what it is then!" Elienne said with glee. "They seek your approval. Before they kept it discreet but now that he has proven himself in court, Feldor is likely more confident; Dari probably not so much, given her intimate knowledge of your temperament against courtship."

"I see," he said, regretting his error to bring up the matter. He took in a breath and with a hand on his heart he bowed to her and tried to escape the gossip.

"Well, will you give it?" Elienne asked. "Can you not see how they improve one another by complimenting their strengths?"

"She does not need my approval. I am her mentor, not her father," he said, more roughly than he meant.

Rúmil walked toward the bridge and left Elienne to go back to her elflings. Once near the stairs heard Legolas and Feldor a flight below.

"The shock of it was the most pleasurable aspect," Feldor said. "It may have been different had she kissed me back at all."

"You hardly gave her time!" Legolas laughed. "Was it the first she learned of your intentions to court her?"

There was a pause and then Feldor asked, "Is that what you thought?"

"Why else would an elf be so demonstrative of his affections in public?" Legolas asked. "Elienne has suspected there was interest, but you have removed all doubt." There was another long pause before Legolas continued, almost scolding in his tone. "As one naïve elf to another, if you are unsure of your intentions, you should seek her out and discuss what you meant immediately! A kiss without clarity can wreak havoc on the heart!"

"I am certain Dari knows, that is what matters, isn't it?" Feldor asked.

Rúmil had halted at the top of the steps and when the two of them saw him standing there, their pale complexions turned ashen.

With a hand on each rail, Rúmil leaned forward, looming over the younger elves and said, "Today my brother showed unmitigated mercy on your arrogant arguments; for he is your mentor and had more interest in teaching you than winning a debate against you. However, let this be my warning; if I ever feel the need to seek vengeance for the decimation of a fragile heart I have spent over a decade piecing back together, you will become intimately familiar with the humiliating defeat that comes from being crushed under my fully unleashed wrath."

Trembling, Feldor took a step back and nodded. Rúmil pushed himself up, turned and walked off, his heart pounding in his chest. He went in to their home, expecting a much different conversation than he had previously anticipated and one for which he now felt ill-prepared and emotionally unprotected.

**Part 2 ~ Dari**

In the center of the bed, Dari sat cross-legged, her elbows on her knees, and her fists resting against her temples. When Rúmil came in she closed her eyes and waited for him to turn the study chair toward her and quietly sit.

His lack of reaction to Feldor's over-extravagant lure for his jealousy had sealed for her the final bit of evidence she needed to discount any of her friend's perceptions. At the thought of the admission she had to confess, Dari sucked in a breath and found the fear too much to bear without tears.

She covered her face with her hands and let out a sob. After the first release, the others were impossible to stop and as she sat there weeping before him, humiliated before she even started, she could not help but be aware of the absence of empathy. No words, no approach, nothing at all. It was as if he had turned to a stone statue.

For lack of any comfort to milk them, her emotions dried quickly and she wiped her hot face on her sleeve and hands and was about to apologize for her outburst, when he spoke.

"Were you afraid?" he asked. He looked at her and clarified, "When with the men in Rohan?"

Dari lifted her head slightly before she said, "At first. And then Feldor became every bit as bold as you saw him today. I did not understand their words, but the way the men respected him gave me confidence we would not be harmed."

"And what did you feel when you saw me?" he asked. "Fear of judgment?"

"No!" she said. "I do not even fear that now." His eyes darted up at her, as if to discern her honesty.

"Then your tears are not in anticipation of my reaction," he asked. She shook her head. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and thoughtfully considered his words before he said, "While you were gone, and before I knew you had left the wood, I searched my heart to discover the source of my irritation. What I discovered is that I had become obsessed in controlling your tutelage. Every moment you did not spend with me I felt was wasting your time. When your friendship with Feldor began to interfere it was difficult for me. I felt my place as your mentor was in jeopardy."

He paused and let slip a slight twinge of the emotion stifling his words before he continued.

"I told you that I would teach you what you wanted to learn and no more or less. I have not been faithful to that boundary. I set an expectation that I would interfere and protect you from your own bad decisions, if just by inferring to you through my mood what I wanted. So I knew when Elienne told me her suspicions that I had to come for you, because you thought I would and that meant you were willing to take more of a risk." Dari frowned, barely following his meaning. "So, for your own safety and growth, it is time to readjust and go back to what I had first said. Though it may be difficult for me to risk losing you, the next time you take on a dangerous adventure, I will not follow unless you ask. And I will not tell you not to follow me, if you wish it. I will tell you the danger and if you ask my opinion on your preparedness, I will give it. But your life is your own. I am your mentor, not your savior."

Even though she knew what it meant, the words cut deeply and as he continued, her anger grew that he would decide to stop acting on his care for her.

"I am sorry for being too proud of your performance and placing my own desire to see my student achieve ahead of your freedom. I have hindered your progress by guiding you too closely."

Glaring at him she said angrily, "If I am supposed to forgive you for that, than I do, but I do not consider it an offense. And the only thing for which I am sorry is expecting more from your heart than you are willing to give."

"What do you mean?" he asked flatly.

She wanted to spew her hurt at his ignorance but reined in the raging fire inside of her, folded her fingers in her lap and said, "That is all I have the heart to say. I do not want to injure you with cruel words."

He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I would prefer being injured to having anything left between us."

Raising a brow she said, "When I discover a way to say it kindly, I will." He looked to be ready to respond to that so she added quickly, "You offer me my freedom, this is how I exercise it."

He closed his mouth and looked down with a twitch. After a moment he asked, "While you compose your confrontation, may I ask if it was your heart's regard toward Feldor that brought on your tears?"

His audacity inspired a sarcastic quip, "What is it to you? I thought you were my mentor, not my caretaker."

"I have need to see you healed and whole if you are to reach your full potential. If I see you are being misled to believe someone feels more for you than I have heard that they do, it is my duty to bring it to your attention. What you do with that information is up to you."

Flailing her legs out from under her and onto the floor she jumped out of bed, looked down at him and said, "No, Lord Rúmil, Feldor is not misleading me about his feelings. But I was a fool to believe a fool in his determination of yours!"

"And what did he say were mine?" he asked, his voice void of any inflection. She stared at his cold, blue eyes and realized, it suddenly did not matter to her what he thought, because she did not matter to him. Her feelings for him would be nothing more than an impediment to her learning; another reason to renegotiate boundaries.

She sat back down on the bed across from him, this time much closer as his knees nearly touched hers. With as much cool collection as he expressed, she explained.

"Our displays of affection were nothing more than an attempt to cause you to react jealously. His case to me was that you were hiding romantic feelings and we set about to find evidence to prove him right."

He blinked as if in confusion and then asked, "What was your conclusion."

She laughed, indignant and turned away, unable to believe he would need to ask.

"He is not a compete fool," he said. "And neither are you for believing him."

Dari's heart fluttered and carefully she examined his unmoved and unengaged posture.

"You both only started with a presumption, as I have warned you against. I admitted to being unprofessional and inappropriate in my concern for your well-being and pride in your achievement. Mistaking affection for desire is not uncommon, even Elienne can think of nothing but the recreation of romance. It is one of the reasons I despise the exultation of the temptation; in a culture as rich as ours where so many more pursuits can fill one's time and energy, to be obsessed with passion is ridiculous. In fact, that was why I was so against the match at first, I thought your time together was frivolous! I only became relieved once I saw you were conspiring with Feldor to more than a titillating courtship!" He let a light laugh escape, looked away and with a patronizing tone added, "Now that I know it was play acting for my benefit…" He laughed a little harder and said, "It is actually quite amusing, and too bad I was unaware or I could have played along; all of us could have had some fun."

Dari was unable to tell if it was Rúmil or Haldir in front of her for a moment; he sounded altogether not himself. And his enjoyment of the deception did not make sense any more than his missing of her point.

With trepidation she spelled it out plainly, allowing her emotions to ease out of her slowly and intensely.

"But... I wanted him to be right!" she sobbed. When his smile faded she shook her head, blinking and added, "I only went with him because it was part of our arrangement and if caring more about your feelings than the ways of men is frivolous, then I am guilty... because all I ever wanted was to know if you loved me as much as I love you."

Haunted Rúmil looked on her as if she had acquired some affliction he might catch. He sat back and as he had done when she had first exposed her flesh to him he became fearful and alarmed.

It was wrong, she knew it, but unable to take the disgust in his eyes, Dari stood and violently shoved him in the chest away from her, knocking him and his chair over backwards. He flailed his hands and legs up in the air and aptly lept to his feet before he hit the ground.

She backed up from his defensive posture afraid of her own temper. As he stood ready for a second attack, a knock at the door sounded.

"Is everything all right in there?" Orophin asked.

Rúmil stood ready for with his hands up and he raised his brows.

Orophin knocked and asked, "Rúmil?"

Dari stiffly sat on the bed and contritely looked down, welcoming any correction Rúmil might offer.

He lifted the chair behind him and as he set it back in place he said, "We have no need for assistance."

"I am right here if you change your mind," Orophin said. Then as if to someone else in the room he could be heard instructing, "No, it is none of our business…"

Dari guessed it was Feldor trying to interfere and wondered how much of what they were saying could be heard on the other side of the door.

Rúmil did not return to the wood chair across from her, but instead, sat beside her a slight distance on the bed. When she glanced at him, she saw his brows were pressed deeply and he was looking down in thought.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. Then overwhelmed by pain as if a knife was stuck in her chest and twisted, her throat constricted and she attempted to explain. "It just rejection hurts… so much..."

He swallowed and nodded. "What I sought to protect you from in Feldor, I have unwittingly caused myself. Forgiving me will not be easy, if it is even possible."

"It isn't your fault!" she said, wiping her eyes. "I am fool, why should I expect someone like you to return my feelings?"

"You would be foolish to think I wouldn't," he said, shaking his head. "I thought I explained it, Dari… when I spoke of my passions being dead. It is not my fleshly desire that is gone, it is the emotion. I can have affection, and even become bond ready, but the ability to desire a bond with anyone was cut right out of me. I am not whole and I never will be… I can not bond with anyone without them becoming broken too." She watched his chin dimple and his expression tightened to control it, clenching his jaw and shaking his head. "This is wholly unexpected... I can not..." He sucked in a breath and asked, "Why? It is known and celebrated that I am the worst mannered, least gracious and coldest elf in all of middle earth... I cannot help but think you are mistaken. It is possibly just gratitude you feel, or that you do not understand what is entailed with bonding?" He paused and said, "Would you want to become one, take on my heart as your own? You don't even know the depths of my pain to understand that you could never want them for your own."

In the compassion she felt for his obvious struggle, all Dari wanted to do was hold him and take it all on herself, relieving him of being alone; and yet there was some truth to what he said. She had not considered that becoming one, as they were, meant they would share their burdens and thoughts. The dark secrets in her past had been so buried that she almost forgot them herself.

"I see your point," she offered. And then proclaimed, "It does not lesson my gratitude and affection for you to reconsider other feelings as premature." Relief seemed to flood him and he nodded. "I still want more than what you have given... Can you at least be my friend?"

"Especially not now," he said. "The boundaries are safe, crossing them confused our feelings before, we should not risk it again."

Dari's heart checked his claim, thinking, how would there be a risk if he was not capable of desiring a bond? She thought back about how he said her beauty had slain him and asked, "Do we now need new boundaries because of my confession?"

"No... unless you think so."

And it struck her, the boundaries were for his sake, not hers. He did not trust himself. It was possible, Feldor was right! In her mind she heard the words,_ do not pull the spearhead out too quickly. Haldor can not be forced to speak, he must have reason to choose it._ Dari wasn't sure if it was Galadriel or her own consciousness instructing her to hold her tongue, but it gave her confidence and idea.

"I am satisfied with the ones you set," she said. "And I am anxious to get back to being your student and focusing only one what you can teach me." He smirked and she added, "You said you would teach me anything. Is that true?"

"If I have knowledge of it, yes," he said.

She got up and went to a set of shelves and pulled out a binder where she had been collecting copies of maps she had drawn. "I did not lie when I said I have no interest in the ways of men, but I do want to see beauty of the Western World," she said sitting back down and opening. "And I want you to take me and teach me everything you know of it."

He picked up the largest and saw the line she had drawn leaving the wood toward Mirkwood and circling around north to the sea to the Gray Havens and back down through the shire, stopping many places she had marked, including Rivendell, Isengard, the Crystal Caverns at Helm's Deep, the farthest east being Minas Tirith.

He leafed through her drawings and said, "It would take years to visit all of these places."

"Then let us take years to do it, and I want to start soon before the world gets too dark."

Rumil met her eyes and said, "That is very wise." With a nod he said, "I will arrange our time away and send word to elves in these places that we may seek shelter for exchange of any deliveries among our stops."

"Really?" she asked. "We can go? How soon?"

He feigned a confused look and said, "As soon as it can be arranged, of course. Why waste time?"

Without warning, Dari suddenly felt like Lien. She threw her arms around him and thanked him, resisting the kisses her niece would likely give. As usual, her mentor was stiff and did not return the embrace, but his blushing face showed that he appreciated her endearment.

"Now I must ask something of you," he said after she attempted to compose herself. "You must tell me of your time in Rohan." Before she could speak, he stood and said, "You may use my good pen, for ease of writing. But your own parchment will suffice so you may not be anxious about a perfect first draft."

"First draft? Must I make a formal composition? Why can't we just discuss it? I'm good with story telling."

"This is a lesson, Maethriel, I will be evaluating and encouraging your attention to detail and description. Please use as much poetry as accuracy." She could not hide her disappointment and felt her shoulders drop. "This is preparation for a journal you will keep on our journey. And when we return you will make two book copies, one for each of the twins." Dari's mouth dropped open at the work involved in that undertaking. Not phased he said, "Young ones are much more apt to read the hand of someone they love, so keep in mind you will be their tutor. Also, remember how you felt at Elienne's departure? Such a gift will help them forgive our absence."

"But what will you do while I spend so much time writing?"

He shrugged and said, "Perhaps I can illustrate? It's a skill I have never quite mastered in my mind." As he stepped toward the door, she took her assignment and his requirements in with uncertainty. He stopped and stood at the door to added somberly, "It will also help if..." Something akin to grief cross his features and he struggled to speak, "In case..."

"What? In case we die on the rode?" she teased.

"No, we most certainly will not die," he scolded. "My thought is to the dark future you mentioned. It is very likely our niece and nephew will never see any of these places save for one... The Gray Havens." He pointed and added, "You have chosen well... now get started, for I will not send one message to our kin until you prove to me your are serious by completing this much easier assignment."

He walked out, leaving the door open and through it she saw Feldor who seemed to be waiting for them. Immediately after Rumil exited their flet her friend came to the door.

"You are much too nosy!" Lamer called from somewhere she could not see.

Orophin chimed in as well, "Dari, feel free to send him out."

"Close the door," she said with a grin. When he did so she said, "You were right. And I have a plan to remove all distractions from his attempts to keep me at arms distance."


	14. The Cost of Closeness

**Part 1 ~ Rúmil **

As predictable as the cliché was, it could not be escaped; looking out over the water, Rúmil felt stigmatized as the elder, longing to leave Middle Earth. Sardonically he judged death through jumping in and drowning would be easier, quicker and more preferable. Though tempted to be rid of this pain, however it happened, the thought of giving up; caving and admitting the orcs had won, did not sit well with him.

When his stomach dropped at the sound of a gull, Rúmil heard in his mind a voice, singing, calming, beckoning courage. So long as Vala Nienne was his light and hope, there was no need to seek the undying lands. She alone saw and understood the depth of his struggle not to carry his brokenness on that journey without ever knowing the sweetness of breaking free. No one would hold his failure against him, few would even know, but that was not the empty legacy he wanted to follow him. Winning this fight could never be hidden, it would be like a jewel in his crown that all would see for eternity.

"I cannot stay here," Legolas said coming beside him. "I came with you this far, as you requested, but if we linger in the havens, I must depart company…"

"We are not staying," Rúmil said. He glanced back to where Dari sat and as soon as he made eye contact, she stood, brow creased and approached.

"She does not feel it for herself," Legolas said. "She is too young."

When she arrived by their side at the port, Legolas bowed and said, "I will wait outside the gate on the far side of the city. If I am not there when you come, I give my farewell now and ask that you forgive my haste."

As he left them, Legolas did not look back again and spoke not a word to the other sad souls that populated this realm. Dari sat, facing away from the water by his side and try as he might, Rúmil could not bring himself to meet her steady gaze.

"Please don't stay on my account," she said. "There are others in Lorien who might agree to mentor me now that you have tamed me some."

"Your arrogance is amusing," he said.

"Haldir has released you," she said, unaffected. "So if it is not me than whom else?" When he didn't respond she said, "Lien would be devastated, but she has Legolas to fill your spot in her heart."

"It is for myself that I stay," he said and then grumbled, "I am not as altruistic as you make me out in your mind."

"Yourself?" she asked. "What have you here but sorrow?" He glared at her impudence and thought perhaps he had allowed too much familiarity between them. Without restraint she pointed out, "You disconnect from kinship whenever possible and do not serve any necessary position that can not be filled by another… Even though you partake now, you do not enjoy eating or drinking or even the occasional nap and the songs of our people seem to be nothing but a bother to you… You rarely smile or laugh and though your heart is burdened you do not engage in the release of sorrow through tears." He felt too much truth in her jest as she demanded, "What kind of life do you live that you hold on so tightly to it?" Crossing her arms she looked away and grumped, "If I pushed you off this ledge with a rock tied to your ankle I would have a very good case in court to call it mercy."

He waited for the silence between them to turn awkward before he retorted, "I enjoy a dirge on occasion."

She laughed with such melodic relief it felt as though someone had poured warm wine directly into his heart. Looking back at him he saw her gratitude that he had not been wounded by her honesty.

"I am going to join Legolas before he abandons us with all the food rations in his kit. Are you coming?"

"I was hoping you were serious about the rock," he said. Quick as a flash, she took his arm. His heart raced and his hand grasped the ledge as if she might shove him off for sport.

Instead, she held on firm, met his surprised eyes and said, "You were not."

Before he could completely compose himself, she let go and walked away. Watching her, he noticed the blond locks she had cut so thin had thickened in the past four years and grown long so that her golden hair swung with a rather more feminine quality than he usually noticed. Unlike Legolas, Dari turned and glanced back at him, almost as if to ensure he was watching. The cheekiness of her grin moved him to purposefully provide evidence that his life was not completely miserable.

He jumped up and gave chase, spooking her to run with laughter at the game. He could have easily caught her, but he allowed her to surprise Legolas by using him for shield.

"I see that smile!" she called from behind the confused prince, "Now aren't you glad you didn't get on the boat?"

Enjoying the romp Legolas laughed, "Let me not stand between you, please!"

Rúmil decided to not stress either of them further and as he casually walked on his way from the havens, Dari followed, taunting him, "Why do you give up so easily, Lord Rúmil? Are you afraid of losing to me?"

"On the contrary, I am afraid of winning too easily," he said. "There is no sport if there is no challenge and you have not been improving much with your hand to hand to make me think I could not pin you in an instant."

"I would like to see you try," she said.

"Yes, I know you would, and that is why I will not do it."

Legolas laughed a little too loudly and after a scolding glance, he quieted and took his place behind them.

Dari ignored his tease and instead took to his side more privately and asked with sincere confusion, "How can it be that I am not improving. I always win my spars with Legolas… That is the true reason I say I must start training with you directly."

"Yes, you do always win. But no, you are not ready," Rúmil said. "It is up to you to discern the reason."

…

"He's not even trying!" Dari claimed as she held Legolas down during a training session three weeks after Rúmil had given her the hint. She got up, shoving the prince into the ground and stood back. "How am I to learn if you refuse to fight me?"

Legolas hopped up, completely unashamed of being pinned by a young female and said, "I am still unclear why this is necessary at all." To Rúmil he said, "Teach her to use an arrow and a sword and she won't need hand to hand."

"What if I am disarmed," she said.

"Learn not to be," he said. "Or to run fast when you are."

Before Rúmil could comment, Dari jumped at him again and Legolas moved out of the way but not before she gave him a good blow to his chin with a fist.

Rúmil stood and said, "Call a contact spar or it is not a fair…"

He had not finished before Dari took advantage of stunning Legolas and gave him a kick to his back, hard enough to send him flying forward. She was leaping on him with fury when he flipped over and caught her hands, equally angry and surprised.

"When you are attacked in the real world, you don't always get fair warning," she said and wrangled away with a twist and another blow, this time to the side of the Prince's head.

"Dari!" Rúmil said coming towards her with warning. "You are carrying this too far… trying to hurt him is not good sport."

"This is your fault," she said and attempted to strike Rúmil now. He blocked her easily but felt from behind a solid blow to the back of his head, knocking him down. He had taught her that move, but had not expected for it to be used on him. By the time he lept up on his feet she was wrestling Legolas again, poorly, for he had her from behind.

"Look how quickly I am overpowered when you try!" she spat. "You both would have me captured and passed around by men or orcs before risking a lesson where I might learn to beat you."

Furious, Rúmil came at her and said, "You have not the emotional restraint to be trusted with such abilities."

His rebuke was interrupted by a shout from Legolas when she thrust her head backward and sunk her elbow to his groin. Dari did not stop at having incapacitated him, either, she hit him again, this time with her fist to his cheek, drawing blood.

Rúmil meant to grab her, he knew he should, he even went to her and almost put his hands upon her, but some awe or horror restrained him. She sat upon her friend's chest and swung again and again at his beautiful face, each blow sending a shock wave through his entire body for the strength of it, until, finally, Legolas began to fight back.

She was pushed off of him and when she sprung back at him, he slapped her with the back of his open hand and took a stance. The satisfaction on her face glowed brighter than the red mark he had caused.

"I will not fight you!" he said. "I will only defend!"

"Then I will learn nothing!" she complained, circling around facing him. "What fear stays your hand? Do you think word will get back to Haldir or Elienne that you injured me?"

"It will, and you know it," he said. "I will not have it said I laid hand on my sister, not even for training."

"I am not your sister!" she said and running at him she faked a strike but instead grabbed him and they rolled, elegantly struggling to each gain the advantage. "You did not marry Elienne, Haldir did! You are not part of our family no matter how much you try to work your way into it."

"What are you talking about?" he demanded, sincerely struggling to hold on to her with his legs wrapped around her from behind. "Your family is as dear to me as my own. Have I not made that abundantly clear?"

"The feeling is not mutual," Dari said, "My mentor and I asked only for a welcome into Mirkwood and you have imposed yourself upon us for two years after that… But despite your trailing, I for one have not grown any fonder of you, in fact I grow weary of your idiotic jokes and need to comment on every one of your basic observations."

Rúmil thought for a moment it was over, she was unable to move and growing tired. And yet, the Prince still engaged her rhetoric.

"You mean to tell me that in these four years we have shared journey and camp, and toured the forest of my home, you have not felt our friendship grow?" He glanced at Rúmil and said to Dari, "I do not believe you."

"Your company is trying and trivial… we have only used you for your ability to speak Westron. Just as you have used us attempting to win favor from Elienne by befriending her sad sister and frustrate Haldir by edging in on his favorite brother!"

Her words distracted Legolas's focus long enough for Dari to gain advantage and twist her wrist out of his hold, yanking on a handful of hair. When he yelped and let go to rescue his golden locks, she flipped around and knelt on an elbow, kicking his hand away. Instead of flying free of the fight, she fell down upon him, stomping his hand and stretching so that her crotch held him down, right under his chin.

Looking down on him she said, "Only Elienne and Lien find your visits anything but disruptive to our family peace… and I think you know it…. you are just too obsessed with Elienne to care!"

To her credit, Dari lifted her hands to catch one of his feet when he tried to swing it up to release himself.

"You are hurting me," he said, wincing.

"Then fight back!" she said.

"I cannot! You have won sincerely!" Legolas said. Rúmil watched as Dari dug her foot into his hand and feared for the Prince's superb archery aim being damaged. He yelled out in pain and said, "Please, let me go, Dari…"

She sat there for a moment examining the tear in his eye and said, "How can I believe you? How can I ever believe anything you say or do again?" Legolas looked at Rúmil as if begging for help.

"Will you not seek advice from an elder?" Rúmil asked him.

Legolas struggled with his legs again and said, "Why will you not remove her from me?"

Rúmil squatted down behind his head, and looked at Dari, so proud and sure of herself. "Because there is one move you have not tried. From this position you might find it offensive, but it is your only recourse."

"What?" Legolas asked, looking up over his forehead at Rúmil.

"Use your chin," he said and the horror on Legolas face was priceless as he saw where he would strike should he do it. "The future of Mirkwood's royal heirs did not concern her earlier when she employed merciless strategy to take the advantage. And since my apprentice has foolishly put herself in this very vulnerable position I find nothing wrong with you returning her favor."

Dari laughed at Legolas as he considered it and Rumil grew impatient with her.

"She would never dare hold an orc or a man in this way," he said. "For she knows what they would do… but she trusts the honor of an elf even though she has not played with honor." Rúmil could see Dari was growing nervous at his urging, but he needed more than that if he was to help the reluctant prince. "One could say she's asking for it… perhaps all her insults are covering her true regard for you, perhaps she is hoping for it."

Legolas did not get a chance to employ the dark move before Dari was off of him and striking at Rúmil. He let her overpower him and get in two blows for his offense, but when he attempted to slow her down with a few blocks, he saw tears and realized he needed to set this right; only, she had learned so much more than he expected.

"Dari, stop!" Legolas said, now taking his turn to be on the sidelines.

The strikes, though hard and painful did not concern him as much as knowing he had unleashed some hidden horror in her heart. She was tiring before it crossed his mind to pull out his rope. As soon as she saw him back flip over his pack and grab it, she swept over to the weapons and lifted one of Legolas' short knives.

"No!" Legolas said, jumping in front of Rúmil. "This has gone too far, do nothing you would regret, I beg of you!"

She swiped out at him and nicked his palm, but the length of her distraction was just enough time for Rúmil to form a lasso and toss it up into the air. It fell down around her and when he pulled tight he saw her move the blade to where it fell on her. If he did not have such a need to control her outburst he would have been impressed by the move; as it was, he was livid that she had cut his rope!

As that feeling of dread overcame him that he may have to hurt her to stop her, the air around them was filled with a burst of what seemed to be both lightning and thunder accompanied by a ground shaking voice.

"What is the meaning of this? There are no longer kinslayers among Elves!"

With the sheer terror on Darimaetha's face it was clear; she had never encountered an angry wizard before. She did not do as they had all been taught and drop her weapon or bow in reverence and concession; she shook like a mortal, cowering in fear of death.

"Who is the elder permitting this madness?" the great guide asked.

On a knee before the brilliant display of glory, Rúmil bowed and said, "Forgive me… I have failed in my duties."

As the fearful light dimmed and he who was now appearing as an old man began to approach Rúmil, staff still raised, Dari did the unthinkable.

She cried out and before Rúmil's dumbfounded eyes, she ran at the wizard with Legolas' knife raised, only to be instantly dispelled, falling on her back. And there she lay, still on the ground, pale and lifeless at Rúmil's foot.

Speech escaped him and from behind he heard the Prince, "There was no need to kill her, Gandalf…"

"Hmmm," the wizard said, looking down and poking her gently with the end of his staff. "She meant to kill me."

Rúmil knew it was true, and gave no protest as he fell on both knees before her, unable to draw breath.

"She is very young to leave the protection of an elf realm," Gandalf said. "She is your responsibility, yes?" Rúmil could not answer, but Gandalf seemed to know and hummed again and squatted down. He pointed at her and said, "This is your fault."

Rúmil was not one to argue with a Wizard, but wondered at how Gandalf could make such a judgment without understanding there had to be some hidden hurt inspiring Dari's overreaction.

As if reading his mind, Gandalf accused, "Whatever happened to wound her and inspire this over-reaction may have been soothed had you given her the proper training to make sure it never happened again!"

Feeling weak from lack of breath, Rúmil fell forward over her, suspended up by one hand.

From behind heard Legolas repeat, "You did not need to kill her."

"Oh, I did not kill her… though she is dying. He's the one killing her… he wants her to die, to relieve him of his duty… so he can die. She will not hold on if she is not wanted… and she will take him with her if she can... the question is, will he go?"

As Rúmil felt the life slipping away he saw her spirit floating just above her corpse, the light and shadow mixed like glowing liquid gas, more beautiful in death than life. She blinked and lifted herself from her body, coming forward to kiss him and as she did he realized it was true what Gandalf said, and he was not ready… He gasped for a breath, hearing her own deep breath in cinch with his.

"Ah, there we go," Gandalf said.

Rúmil hovered over her and the face before him, bruised, dirty and with drops of blood across it, began to weep and apologize and she grabbed his tunic, not for fight, but for sorrow.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I won't ever leave you again, I promise… I promise…"

As warning commentary, Gandalf said, "Such a promise..."

Rúmil did not hear the rest of the wizard's muffled instructions, he took her in his arms to comfort her, letting her sobs sink into him as if they were his own and wishing they were.

…

"He said you should take her to Rivendell," Legolas whispered once the sun had set on their camp. "You should know, I won't be going. I need to return to my own family."

"Do not take what she said to heart, it was meant to get a reaction," Rúmil said.

"She spoke from her heart," Legolas said, looking at Dari as she slept. "She has let me know in many ways I was not welcome on this trek. I kept your confidence and never told her it was not my idea or desire. She was right, I am false. My coming along was less interest in winning your affections than to in so doing, indirectly please Elienne. I have been caught, and I am ashamed."

"Motivation pure or not, despite my apprentice's protests, you have won both our affections, so all is not in vain."

Legolas studied his face and seemed to accept it reluctantly. "If what you say is true, then I have even more reason to part company. She should learn not to say such hurtful lies. I will carry the weight of them much longer than the swelling of my face."

"She will apologize in the morning, I am sure," Rúmil said. "Come as far as Rivendell, and I will pay you in full what I promised. Once there I will find another companion there to accompany us the rest of the journey."

"Your friendship is payment enough. And in the relief of your debt, I feel less false," Legolas said. "I am unneeded on this journey; you have avoided every interaction with man or hobbit."

When he started to move, Rúmil sat up and leaned toward him as he admitted, "The necessity of my request far outweighs your knowledge of the common tongue. I cannot say it plainly, but I will swear an oath of brotherhood to you if you will stay with us… my home will always be yours, my sword will fight your battles… my bow will fell your enemy. I have never offered this to another before and likely will never again, take it now while I am of mood."

Legolas was clearly moved, yet not enough to overcome his wounds.

"Consider it carefully," Rúmil warned. "Elienne may not always and forever be able to persuade Haldir to embrace your presence in our wood; you may need a brother to counter his unpredictable temper. I have more sway on him than anyone."

"I am confident I will win Haldir on my own merits," Legolas said. Then with a smirk he said, "And since you obviously cannot admit your true motivations, than you force me to; I no longer wish to function as your chaperon."

Rúmil sat back with a sigh and did not bother pretending to be offended or surprised that the prince had guessed.

Legolas looked pleased at the reaction and said, "I strongly suggest you do as Gandalf encouraged, and swiftly. In Rivendell there are many eyes and distractions."

He stood, gathering his things and before he left, he gazed down on Dari and said with a sweet smile, "It is a pity she turns so cold and fierce when awake, she is quite lovely as she sleeps…" Looking on Rúmil he added, "Perhaps you should keep her awake until Rivendell to fend off the temptation of her increasing bond readiness."

Unnerved, Rúmil narrowed his eyes at the Prince and said, "What do you know of her condition?"

Legolas smile broadened and he backed away slowly and carefully and then, with that dangerous playfulness the Prince engaged in far too often he said, "The laurel may fool us and keep our interest at bay, but today, my nose was quite close to the fragrance of her flower. I venture to say, if she is not yet in full bloom, she will be soon... and woe to the elf on whom she sets her desire. It is why I dared not employ the move you suggested; I would rather run through the lair of a hundred heirs to Shelob than risk springing that snare!"

He was gone with laughter into the darkness before Rúmil could recover. He had at times been victim to an upturning breeze or her proximity during their travels, but with Legolas always there Rúmil had no difficulty finding a distraction or amusement for her to part their focus on one another.

As she slept, his need for rest wore his resolve not to stew on his new knowledge. It was unwise to avail dreams of closeness, for such had many bonded unwitting couples become overwhelmed. Courting could start innocently enough, with two lonely hearts finding one another in sleep's inhibition, only to wake in passion's embrace, too enthralled to consider the consequences.

Her spirit had already touched... kissed his even. She might easily wander to him again, see his weakness and prey on it. And would that be so vile? Like honey suckle and strawberry he imagined her... and then warning made him wonder as he got up for a walk, how much could a couple of horses cost them to speed the journey to safety?

**Part 3 ~ Dari – A Week Later**

"I cannot!" Dari said, and sat, wheezing.

"If there were an army of orcs behind you, you would not stop," Rúmil snarled. He stopped and came to her side.

She glared up at him and said, "If that were the case, I would gladly cut off my aching feet for their dinner. As it is…" She began to untie her boot as she continued, "I am stuck without an excuse to rid myself of this agony." He put his hand on hers and when he began to retie the strings she said, "I really hate you right now."

Rúmil laughed, tying it tightly and pulling on her arm. Her legs nearly gave way as they sprinted again, over hills, through a field of trees and though she stumbled several times, he did not slow, calling back to her, "Imagine the world falling away behind you into an abyss, you must outrun it!"

"I wish... to fall in!" she huffed.

When she slowed, he took to her side asking with concern now, "Can you at least run until sunset?"

"That is all?" she asked.

"At this pace Rivendell is within reach by then, so ponder for yourself pleasures and comforts and know this, if we are slowed by your lack of determination, I will insist we take the long way round to enter their gates and make you sleep in the garden rather than a soft bed!"

The hope of the end being near was indeed inspiration, but when the sun was setting and they had not reached the river, he made her take the lead. She felt him kick the bottom of her feet and it angered her so that she attempted to outrun him. Unexpectedly she tripped through the water of a shallow, wide river and once on the other side, she collapsed.

Instead of prodding her, he sat beside her.

"Well done. We are here," he said. "Not a moment beyond dusk."

Dari blinked and looked over at him; he did not even look worn in the least. "How... are you not… spent?"

"I was the first time I was tested. When next you run that speed and distance it will be easier," he said. "Be happy you are an elf, men must train constantly to maintain the same level of endurance. Whatever elves achieve, it is forever part of them. I do you a favor by pushing you when there is no need, for when there is, you will be ready."

She swallowed, wanting to both thank him and thwack him. She had no strength to do either.

"I counted," she started. "Four days… Since Bree… I never would have expected it… possible."

"That distance has been achieved in a day and a half, at least once that I know. From the other direction, in Moria."

"Who?" she said, closing her eyes.

"Haldir. And If that is not bragging rights enough, he was also carrying someone."

Dari smiled at the thought of it, not surprised except by one thing. "I have never heard him brag of that," she said. "And I have heard him brag of many other accomplishments several times." As she lay there, catching her breath, she looked up at Rúmil and discerned that the distance in his eyes indicated the presence of an unwanted memory. "It was when he rescued you," she said.

His haunted eyes did not even blink; he almost looked to be sinking away from her, and as it had happened on other occasions when his thoughts would wander to the distant past, the darkness around them pressed in, as if a cloud had covered the stars.

To bring light back to him, she mocked herself. "As much as my fantasies of a soft bed wooed me here, now that I have stopped moving, I ache enough to be content sleeping on these wet rocks."

Rúmil snapped out of his stupor and gave up a chuckle. "That was not the reward I offered," he said, but she had closed her eyes and they felt too weighted to open.

...

She would have sworn she had fallen asleep on the mossy bank, except for waking up in bright, crisp linen, sunshine floating down through the ivy covered stone canopy.

Mostly her muscles were only warm but the biting pain in her feet concerned her. She thrust the white quilt aside to see swollen pinkish tenders just as she might expect them. When she realized she was dressed in a silk shift, she began to breathe heavily and searched the room with her eyes for her clothing, only to find it void of anything but her weapons and bag.

Maybe it was dream she thought, and her heart started to race.

"Rúmil!" she called. He did not come.

So many of her nightmares had occurred in places of beauty where she should have been safe, but horrors lie in wait.

"Rúmil!" she called out again, her voice cracking.

A beautiful red-head she-elf came to her door and smiled. "You're awake, then! We have been waiting…"

"Where is my mentor, where is Rúmil?" she demanded, getting out of bed. The slate floor was cool and soothing on her feet; too real for a dream.

"He is with Lord Elrond."

Dari had never dreamed of that elf Lord before and his name brought to her a vague memory of Rúmil's arms lifting her and then the gentle hands of maidens helping her undress until she had collapsed again.

"I am so sorry you are distressed," she said. "I will find Lady Arwen. She is a friend of your sister and may be more familiar?"

"Arwen?" Dari asked. "No, just tell Rúmil, Lord Rúmil…" Composing herself she tried again more regally, "Please explain to Lord Rúmil that I am hungry and I want to see him. And bring my clothes back immediately. You had no right to take them from me and I am very uncomfortable in this revealing gown."

The lady elf looked displeased to be given an order and Dari realized, though petite and delicate, she was likely many centuries older than even Elienne.

Patience eluded her as Dari waited for what seemed to be the entire day. Many emotions cycled through her until she rested on the possibility that Lord Elrond was keeping him.

When Rúmil finally appeared in her doorway with a displeased expression, she had almost fallen back to sleep and sat up with a start.

He had also changed from his traveling tunic to layers of gray and silver robes, all finely fitted to him and embroidered lovely. Over one arm was a dark length of fabric and in his hand he held a dish with cheese and bread. Uncertain about his mood she merely watched him set the plate on the dresser.

"Your clothes are being cleaned and the pace here is slow, so it may take time." He lay what she saw now was a velvet dress on a large chair and said, "This should be adequate until then."

"Thank you," she said. "Who was the Lady here when I awoke? I may have been rude to her."

"She was a healer and I am sure you were, but all she said of it was that you did not want her care and so she will not bother you with it again."

"Forgive me," she said. "I did not mean to embarrass you, I despaired for being left alone."

"You were never alone. Many had compassion on you when we arrived. Given your response, you are on your own now until you humbly acknowledge your need for charity. We are guests and not owed a place in this house. We could very easily be turned out and I should like to stay for at least a few days."

She nodded, disliking the impression she must have left and more, the required making right of it.

"I examined your boots before they went for mending and they were worn through. You must learn to step more gently; be more a doe than a horse," he said, then asked, "How are your feet?"

"They hurt," she grumbled. He sat on her bed and to her surprise, lifted a foot and put it in his lap. He had a small jar with him, opened it and dipped in two fingers. His hands were cool and smooth and to her delight, the ache was quickly soothed.

Dari closed her eyes and lay back on her pillow, exaggerating her response for his humor. "Ooooh…. After such a long nightmare of a journey, I have finally fallen into a sweet dream of Valinor!"

With amused sarcasm he said, "You have only yourself to blame for the harshness of the exercise. As your well chastised mentor, I now fear for my life if I do not push you to your limits."

Drinking in the luscious sensations she moaned lightly and asked, "If you are referring to my brawl with Legolas, I still believe he deserved it. And everything I said too... even if it was not all true."

"I meant your attack on me. There is no wizard here to cast a spell and save me from you," he said. Dari opened her eyes, glancing at him and noted he was not watching the work of his hands, but tilting his head drinking in the sight of her. She had not been in front of him in such a gown as this since she had exposed herself and the memory, of what he said of her beauty colored her view of his gaze. But the more she watched him, the more she believed there was more to it.

"You seem different," she said softly.

"This place brings me peace," he said. "It helps me forget what I became; brings me back to who I was when I was young." He looked down at her foot and said, "It is only an illusion, but I embrace it while I may."

"I feel no different," she said. "Why does the magic of Rivendell not work for me?"

He set her left foot on his lap and took up the other. "Perhaps if we put off our tour of Middle Earth and linger here, you too will find peace as well."

"How long?" she asked.

"However long it takes," he said. She lifted her brows and he said, "A year or two… depending on how deep and great is the pain from your hidden wound."

He often tested her readiness to speak of her past, and as always, she deferred. Dari closed her eyes again and said, "What is pain? I feel only bliss and ecstasy in your hands. I could lay here forever like this…"

"I apologize then, for I am running out of feet," he said.

"My ankles hurt too," she said and then, pulling up her skirt a bit she added, "And my legs."

"I will call the healer for that if you are serious," he said.

Dari laughed, sat up on her elbows and said, "Doesn't this remind you of Elienne and Haldir's courtship?"

"Not at all. Of course, all I know of it is an unwise picnic that made him late for a kingly council, a horrific misunderstanding and an even more horrific song… Followed by fifty years of excruciating longing. Of the rest, I remain contently unaware."

"You have never heard the details?" she asked, pushing up on her hands now. When he took back her left foot, she bent her right leg over his legs and scooted closer. "At that breakfast picnic he was so vexed with arousal that he put a spell on her to keep her from tempting him! And then, he ran off without his boots and got lost on the path, leaving his feet in terrible distress before the council meeting – that is why he was late!" She chuckled and said, "She did not know better and asked Lord Celeborn, of all elders, to wait for him at the gate to give him back his boots!"

Rumil smirked at hearing it and Dari could see the interest in his amused eyes. She leaned forward with her elbow on her bent knee as she went on. "After the misunderstanding and Haldir's determination to make her reject him, my sister almost seduced your brother back into her graces just by rubbing his sore feet!"

When he rolled his eyes, she added, "You must give him some credit, for Elienne did not stop at his ankles but worked her way right up to his thigh, until his face was beet red with the heat of desire!"

His eyes went big and he asked, "How in the wood did it not work? I know my brother, he once flushed in lust describing a touch from a flirting female finger on his hand."

Dari laughed and said, "You know how proud he is, so imagine Elienne suggesting she take the lead in their bond because he was ignorant of the mechanics."

"She did not!" he said.

"She did and of course he could not let that insult slide. He came back at her with the worst words any wife would want to hear on her wedding."

Dari sat there, drinking in Rúmil's sudden eager ear for gossip, relishing the power she wielded to engage him with such secrets. It was too delicious to resist a jest. "I see your contentment in ignorance has finally fled." Then with a pout she teased, "It is a pity Elienne did not wish to draw poor favor on her betrothed and swore me to secrecy over his word smithery."

Once aware of his focus on his brother's folly, Rúmil let go of her foot and leaned back on his hands away from her. "I admit, I am amazed at your success at piquing my interest in this topic, but if it is so terrible that you cannot tell me, why did Elienne tell you?"

"She could not help herself," she said and then after a moment she laughed, "As I cannot help myself!" She waited to see if he would stop her, and when he sat up, hungry for it, she whispered, "He said bonding was nothing more to him than the copulation of dogs and horses and to take her he only had to remove his arrow from its quiver." She looked down to where her foot lay between them on his lap and back up as she added, "And put it in her bow." Rumil's expression remained unchanged even as she finished. "He said he had spectacular aim at 200 paces and was sure he could hit his mark at point blank range."

After a moment Rúmil quipped, "And yet he did miss, didn't he?"

"What do you mean?" she chuckled.

"I did not get the details from a spoken source as you did, but I was quite privy to the circumstantial eviden." Now it was Dari who took his shoulder in her hand, urging him to continue. He was as intent to share his side as he had been to hear hers. "Haldir spilled his seed early; that is why they parted without the bond. At least it is the reason Orophin and I came to when we saw his calm that morning without commitment acknowledged in his eyes. We said nothing, but we knew; all that frustrated desire had to have been released prematurely. And he paid for his lack of control with fifty years of waiting to try again."

Dari felt her jaw drop and ran her hand down his arm to rest it on his. If she had not spent so much time on guard training with elves rambling over the follies and glories of bonding she would not have thought anything of it, as it was, she gasped, "How horrible! Elienne did not tell me of that humiliation!"

"Of course not! I imagine it's because having a beast for a husband is much preferable to a weak willed one," he said. "However, I must admit, hearing your sister's side of the picnic trance and piecing it together with what I did know, I do finally now believe their story that it was more for you that they waited then his inability to accomplish his goal. And..." he chuckled. "Given the lyrics to your sister's championing Haldir's archery skills, I must also admit to being a fan of her poetry. I never much liked that verse, but now I find it brilliant! He must have been mortified."

The way his eyes glistened at her as they shared the most intimate secrets they had ever dared, she at long last felt welcome into his heart. As she returned his sweet gaze, Dari pushed out of her mind the unwelcome reminder that it was her sister's duty that had brought Elienne and Haldir so much grief. To her it was a relief that there was more to the decision of necessity than she had ever been told.

After a few moments in the quiet closeness, his smile faded ever so slightly into a sigh; but unlike on the road, Rúmil did not excuse himself for some matter or other. He remained focused on her with no guarded warning resting in his eyes. It was then that Dari realized, her plan to draw him to her may have finally found its success in Rivendell!

She was amazed and took in carefully how they sat, entwined, their bodies touching here and there, his hand on her foot, her fingers stroking his wrist gently. When she moved a bit, causing her skirt to fall from her knee down her thigh, his eyes descended briefly, and so close were they that she could feel warmth radiating from him.

A wave of desire pulsed through her and had she not been warned so sternly by him, she would have kissed him right then. It would not take much effort to close the short distance between them and she imagined her lips on his, not roughly as that night long ago, but tenderly; just enough to see if he would return it.

So much had changed, so much trust had been secured between them. She was more certain of his love for her than ever before; yet he sat frozen with the slightest detectable tremble, not resisting but refusing to engage her.

"What are you feeling?" she whispered. It was a cruel question. How could he answer honestly and not betray the pretense he had established?

He took in a light breath and then his eyes opened, lit from within like pools of starlight. "I feel caught, as in a spider's web." He looked at her lips and his brows creased. "A single kiss, like the sting of poison, would incapacitate me…" He paused and his face lost all color. "Such a death would be so sweet."

Dari swallowed her bitter disappointment and pulled back, lifting her legs away from him and scooting to the other end of the bed near her pillow. "I am not a predator who would make herself a widow," she snapped. "Despite what you claim, I am your friend. And if all I am to be to you is a student for you to throw your knowledge upon, then so be it. I would rather be discarded than a burden."

Rúmil's gaze drifted into the distance and slowly he stood and walked heavily to the door. Tilting his head back to her direction for a moment, he was too weak to meet her eyes in his rejection.

Without warning Dari suddenly no longer saw the elf who had fought for her against his impossibly strong brother. Gone also was the warrior who had slain dozens of fierce Easterlings. She did not see the stone strong exterior that cared nothing for the views of others and stood in judgment on them instead. And the teacher who had spent years training and caring for her at his own expense had vanished.

What she saw before her was wretched and ruined; a hollow, shrunken form of an elf; powerless to pursue a decision for his desire. He would have left their bonding to her seduction. She may have wooed and won, but Dari did not want a sacrifice; she wanted him to turn toward her, for passion to awaken and inspire him to take her; he had neither the strength nor will.

She had believed in his well-crafted formidable façade and it disgusted her to think she might have bonded herself to such frailty and brokenness…

While these thoughts were going through her mind Rúmil's eyes darkened and any light that had danced in his blue pools moments before, vanished into orbs of inky pitch. Though there was no trace of emotion on his skeletal visage, she discerned the shadow of hate in a raging spirit, gnashing at her like a warg.

It both sparked her desire and terrified her that he might let go the leash. She carefully stepped off the far side of the bed and moved away from him, into the corner; all the while keeping her eyes on his mesmerizing stare.

"And now that you see the true me," he growled. "We find, you prefer the beast."

As quick as a snuffed candle, he was gone from her doorway.

Dari hesitated a moment and then, her heart heavy with regret, she fearfully followed. The the long hall was empty and silent and the darkness closed in around her with no hope of dawn.


	15. Love Lessons

**Part 1 ~ Haldir and Liendriel**

The song that drifted down from above, singing the praises of the March Warden of Lothlorien exceeded any of the accolades of worship he had heard sung in honor of its Queen. Yet, so lovely was the voice and tender the sentiment that Haldir did not dare chastise the vocalist composing it; especially when a much more urgent matter of correction was at hand.

"Come down, Lien!" Haldir called during a break between chorus and verse. Attempting to hide his fears amid laughter he added, "It is a long way to fall!"

"If I slip, you will catch, me Ada," she cooed.

Employing a concern to which she could subscribe he claimed, "It is the tree which I protect, my dear. If Legolas is to have his bow within the century, we must not distress this poor creature. It may begin to lean and bend its trunk. If the perfect growth is disturbed I will have to start again from seedling. Certainly…"

The whistling wind of her fall stopped his heart and he turned to sweep her up gingerly into his arms, nearly not in time.

"Lien!" he gasped, but his sweet daughter welcomed his anxious affection with little affect.

"I have thought of your question and finally have a conclusion," she said before he could catch breath enough to scold her. "Meklor destroyed the two trees because he was _evil_."

Though at ten she should be too old for it, he carried Liendriel away from Legolas's tempting tree into the meadow, hoping the fragrance of the blooms there would aid his calm.

"Is that right?" she asked, pulling away to look in his face. Her long curls bounced as they descended the slope and with a wounded pout she said, "Oh it is not. I can see you are displeased." Such disappointment was usually cause to stop all the world and set her heart to joy, but Haldir could not allow her to test him again.

"No it is correct, you learned your lesson well. I am displeased because you did not call warning that you were going to let go but instead surprised me with your fall. It is not wise to tempt fate and misfortune with carelessness. However strong and capable I am in your songs, I am not immune to flaws and can by some unforeseen obstacle be thwarted from heroic gestures."

The sincerity of her confusion was both precious and frightening; yet she was not one to argue.

"Forgive me, Ada? I promise, I will never let myself fall again without telling you first."

Careful to her tender heart, he asked, "Do you promise to give warning to better insure I will catch you, or merely because I am asking it of you?"

Her crystal eyes seemed to glow in the light of the sun as she laughed at him. To his haunted delight, she took his head in her hands and with her forehead to his, patronizingly informed, "I obey you, Ada, because I love you!"

Haldir's heart nearly burst as she kissed the tip of his nose, copying his habit when attempting to gently scold her. He could not help but smile as he continued into the forest toward home. If only their love were enough to keep her safe in this world; but he might not always be by her side and he had to assure himself she could reason past dangers rightly on her own.

Finding a large rock, he sat, setting her sideways on his lap to continue the lessons.

"There are many reasons to follow instruction, save for your love of the one giving it," he said.

Perplexed, she said, "Hadlor says you do not care to hear why he does _not_ obey. So, as long as I obey, what does the reasons matter?"

Despite his son's unfortunately mischaracterization of Haldir's regard for his excuses, Liendriel's use of elementary logic pleasantly surprised him. Rather than discourage her, he agreed.

"You have made a very good point, my love."

She beamed and said, "Maybe I will be emissary some day!"

He grinned at her joy and decided to press on, perhaps finding another way to teach her these concepts.

"Now, about Melkor," he said. "You were right, his actions were evil. Destroying what others need and love hurts them, and that is wrong. To knowingly do what is wrong gives indication that there is possibly some evil at play in one's heart… but not always because many do not fully understand the wrong they do or the hurt they cause. So…" He took her tiny hand in his and held it's warmth as he asked, "…my question to you is why did he do it? What was in his heart that made his actions evil?"

Lien's shoulders fell slightly and she whined, "I don't know!" Then after a long think and a hefty sigh she mumbled, "Haldor would know."

"Only if he has read his lessons!" Haldir chuckled. "That is why he is home in his loft with the book instead of here with us. Think, what could he possibly gain by destroying the two trees?"

Lien took in a breath and put her arm on his shoulder and then more asked then answered, "He wanted to make it dark so he could get away?" Haldir lifted his brows and nodded, but she caught on and said, "That is not what you were looking for!"

"It is true, though, when the lights went out he could keep from being punished… Let me ask you this, why would they punish him?"

"For being so evil!" she said.

"Yes, but why? What does punishment do?" he asked.

"It hurts someone who is evil and stops them from doing more evil," she said.

"Can you find any connection between what Meklor did to those who loved the trees and the punishment he received?" he asked. She looked at him as if he had sprouted leaves from his ears. Haldir laughed and said, "He wanted to hurt them and stop their joy... but why? Why would he want to punish them when they did no wrong?"

He looked into her bright, confused eyes and knew, she had no idea what vengeance or jealousy were. She envied no one and even long ago when her brother had hurt her by destroying her dolls, her pain was overshadowed by her love for him. He thought to bring up that long forgotten wrong against her, but too delicate was this newness and he feared her linking her brother's immaturity to the worst evil in the world. As it was, she never even wanted to see Haldor punished, only to forgive him so they could continue to play.

"I know!" she said suddenly. He nodded, anxious for her possible epiphany. But she said, "You tell me why and then I will know!"

"Lien!" he laughed. "I could tell you the words jealousy and hate, but will you then only repeat them to me? The lesson is to know what inspires dark thoughts so that you can recognize them in others."

"Oh yes, I remember now!" she said, glossing over most of his point. "He was jealous of Eru, he wanted to be able to sing creation into being and he couldn't, he could only alter the song. So he grew to hate what Eru had made, especially the most beautiful things and then tried to destroy them. Is that right?"

He smiled sadly, feeling sorrowfully lacking in the execution of this lesson, but more, wishing he never had to teach her these things.

"You are displeased again," she said, as if comforting him now. "I am sorry Ada. I wish I was as smart as Heldor."

He kissed her head through her golden curls and said, "It is not your fault, Lien. Some lessons require experience. Like when you learned of the light Earendil. You knew of it, and could describe it, but you did not understand its beauty until Galadriel let you hold it."

"It is so lovely," she exclaimed, and suddenly as if just by memory she seemed to reflect the glory of it within her own countenance. Then she hesitated, piecing something together. "It is only one little bit of the light of one of the trees..." Haldir's took in a fearful breath watching her brows crease. "If envy and hate made him destroy such beauty, then I do not ever want to understand why!"

He ran his hand down her back and utterly exhausted said, "Not today then. So long as you know the story well, understanding will follow... and now I believe it is time for your writing with your mother? I believe she found some colored ink to employ for drawing."

It was so simple to refocus his daughter and she jumped from his lap with joy and ran for city. Teaching Haldor was excruciating for the way he fought, but in many ways he preferred it to the emotional taxation of Lien's education.

They were just to the foundation of their family tree when Elienne came to meet them. Lien ran up past her and after their daughter was up and out of earshot, Elienne chuckled and said, "I'm so sorry, Haldir, but you are wanted in your Lord's chamber. And I have been instructed not to tell you why."

"Yet you know?" he asked, raising a brow. His wife nodded and began climbing, watching him as she ascended. He could feel her warm support, but also knew, whatever discussion he was about to face, she was not exactly on his side

**Part 2 ~ Haldir and Haldor**

Haldir entered Celeborn's home flet to see him sitting in his large chair across from an unfamiliar board game that seemed geared toward strategy. At first his heart lightened at the thought of the amusement, though he was no doubt likely to lose; Haldir's skills were more tricks of style than far ahead planning of moves. In the war of words he could beat most by disarming or logic and one on one his strength and quick surprises won many battles. But anyone who knew his ways as well as Celeborn, would take complicated measures to counter them long before he had even arrive at their possibility. It could be entertaining, just the same, for friendly conversation with elders had eluded him since the twins arrived.

When Celeborn did not respond to his entrance, Haldir bowed and said, "M'Lord?" He stayed as he was for a moment and then glanced up to see a small head peeking around the chair and felt his stomach flip. "Now I see why I have been called."

"Not really you don't," Celeborn said. He put his hand on Haldor's head and said, "This one tracked me from the stables and invited himself in. Were you aware that your son has a mind for strategy that would put some of his elders to shame?"

Haldir stood and walked in front of his Lord as he answered. "If you mean his tactics to wiggle out of work and studies, then yes, I am well aware." When his son found that amusing, Haldir added, "If he spent as much time doing what he was asked as finding reasons not to do it he might have more time to do those things he wishes to do."

"I see your dilemma," Celeborn said, stately. "It cannot be easy to be outwitted by your own son." Haldir opened his mouth and his Lord added, "And yet you should be proud of his accomplishments."

"I would be if his outwitting wasn't winning me an audience with a very busy king!"

Celeborn raised his brows and looked at the elfling and asked, "Do you understand why your father is vexed?"

"Yes, M'Lord," Haldor said. "I was supposed to finish reading the creation of Arda before visiting Sullendry."

"Do you care that you disobeyed him?" Silence. "Are you sorry you disobeyed him?" More silence. Celeborn leaned forward to Haldor and whispered, "Do you want to return home and do as you were told?"

"No, M'Lord."

Haldir felt his heart sinking and looked down, hoping and trusting that Celeborn had some answer.

"Why not?" Celeborn asked. "He is your father, you should care more what he thinks of you than anyone." Haldor fidgeted with his belt buckle and Celeborn said, "Haldir, this is not right. You need to set it straight."

"M'Lord," Haldir said, exasperated, "I _am_ trying! Lecture, lack of privilege, solitude, everything short of taking him over my knee like some mankind do! He will not listen… every other elf in the wood takes my word as yours except my own son. What more do you suggest I do?"

"Ah, I'm glad you asked," Celeborn said and stood. "I was wondering when you would come around to seeking advice." Haldir narrowed his eyes at him and his Lord said, "Since you are completely incompetent as a father, Haldor is no longer your responsibility. He shall live here with me and Galadriel."

At first Haldir thought it was a plot to bluff Haldor into demanding his home with his mother and sister, but the little imp said nothing. "This will not work," Haldir said.

As if missing his meaning, Celeborn answered, "Of course it will, Haldor and I get along splendidly. I am sure he will do as I ask."

It had to be a ruse! Haldir played along to the best of his ability despite his hesitant heart. "And what long list of tasks do you have for my son?"

"Mainly to play games and hunt. Perhaps I'll talk to him of battles gone by and explain how kings run their courts… bring him up to succeed me some day. I always wanted a son of my own."

The longer he heard Celeborn talk, the more real his proposal felt, only, it was not a proposal, it seemed more a command.

"I am sorry, my lord," Haldir started, "But Elienne will not…"

"By the wood, Haldir, it does not matter what Elienne wants, it mattes what Haldor wants. He is the little elfling, so he is king of the house, is he not?"

Sternly, Haldir responded in earnest, "That is not how_ I_ was raised, M'Lord."

"No?" Celeborn asked, folding his arms. "If I remember right, you ruled your father's roost and by sheer effort of study avoidance did not have a grasp of history until you were well over a hundred."

Haldir looked down at his dumbfounded son and blinked. He did not want to disparage his father and so cautiously answered, looking back at Celeborn, "It took many centuries for me to learn the basics of my education and skills because my father was too busy with…"

"No, that is not why," Celeborn interrupted. "It is true that he did not push you, and he may have appeared busy to you, but he did as you have done and stepped down from office to spend time with you and your brothers."

"That may have been the case, but it was not to train us. He preferred playing games," Haldir started.

"Only because _you_ preferred playing games," Celeborn said gesturing at him. "As did I when I was young. Haldor is no different. And since you have changed, and I have not, I will train your son as I was trained and as your father trained you… and as I would train my son, had I one."

"I beg your pardon!" Haldir said, feeling his Lord was having too much fun with him. "I loved my father, but I do not approve of the way I was raised. I wasted precious time and..."

"Did you or did you not enjoy your time as an elfling?" Celeborn asked. Haldir started to protest and his lord raised a warning finger. "Be honest."

After a long pause, Haldir said, "I did."

Carefully Celeborn said, "That is what is most important."

"It is not _all_ that is important," Haldir said, grievously pressed to bring up the worst. "In dark times, our young must be supervised and advised. Even in days not so dark… if my brothers and I had been better trained and sooner…"

Celeborn shook his head with warning, "Do not go there."

"You started this!" Haldir challenged, taking on more equal terms now that Celeborn had eased their ranks through his own play. "There are reasons why I push him."

"What is the hurry?" Celeborn asked, deviously.

"You know the hurry, m'lord!" Haldir said. "If I can feel the growing gloom, it must be ever present in your mind." As he held back going into the details of the threat from Mordor, he noticed his son had come out from hiding and was staring at him with more interest than he had ever seen. "I am sorry, Haldor, I did not wish to frighten you."

"I am not frightened, Ada," he said. "I want to know… why must I learn so much history? What is happening?" He stepped forward with awe. "I need to know."

Haldir squatted down to his son's height and felt Celeborn had just destroyed all the work he had done trying to build up from the defeats and glories of the past to the importance of now before he warned of the danger in the future. It was only with a full context of all of history that Haldir found his peace and courage, he never wanted the weight of despair to fall on his young.

"Did you read the creation story up through destruction of the trees?" he asked. Haldor nodded. "One of Meklor's servants wants to destroy our life here."

"How?" Haldor asked. "What is his plan?"

"It is complicated…" That did not seem to discourage his son and Celeborn leaned back in his thrown sized chair as if getting comfortable to listen.

With an audience of two, half of which had lived through the story, the pressure was heavy on wording of his tale.

"Elves are not perfect," he said, stating what Haldor already knew. "We love truth and knowledge, we love joy and we love love, but we can be deceived just as easily as men. And a long time ago some elves were deceived. They were tempted to believe that they could rule their lands and protect all that they loved better with _magic_ than wisdom or hard work. A beautiful and powerful being told them they could help men and dwarves rule their lands better as well and all of Middle Earth would flourish with peace. Without wars, we would have more time for everything else we crave. And so, our people taught him the secret of binding magic into metal."

"As is done with swords?" Haldor asked.

"Yes!" Haldir said. "Only they concentrated even more power than that which was ever bound to a sword, into rings."

"Did it work?" Haldor asked, excitedly.

"It did! But this great deceiver also made a ring for himself that would not only give him power over his lands, but also power over the other rings… because, really what he wanted was not to help, but to use our interest in protecting those we love against us, so that we would one day unwittingly turn everything over to him. There was a great war to stop him, and he lost his ring and his power. But now, he is trying to get it back. He is still trying to accomplish his plan."

"Where is it?" Haldor asked. "Where is his ring?"

"Nobody knows," Haldir answered.

"Well, not nobody," Celeborn said. They looked at him and he said, "Rumor has it there are hobbits involved."

"What is a hobbit?" Haldor asked. Celeborn raised his brows in surprised and looked at Haldir.

"You learned of the Shire and Hobbiton years ago, Haldor!" Haldir exclaimed. "Remember the little people?"

Haldor did seem to and asked, "What can _they_ do to stop him? Elves must help... we are the strongest, we are going to help?"

Celeborn jumped on that quickly and said, "That is a good question. Who will help? Who can?" He glanced at Haldir and said, "I can only assume your father thinks you can or else he would not be pushing you so ridiculously hard... yet he does not even know if you are willing."

"Me help? How?" Haldor asked looking up at Haldir.

Haldir watched amused as before he could answer, his Lord put on a very serious face and tone. "He must know you are very clever, Haldor, as I have just seen. But clever is not good enough. What this world needs to save it, are those willing to work hard and prepare to help unravel mysteries as they present themselves."

"I am willing!" Haldor said seriously. "What must I do to prepare?"

"Well, it just so happens that your father is my Emissary for a reason. He is the most scholarly on history and languages. If you are sincere, you should should start by doing the lessons as he asks so you have a base of knowledge from which to draw when deciding how best to plan our strategy."

Haldor's face dropped, knowing instantly he had been tricked. He looked at Haldir with the expression reserved for his deepest defiance.

"It did not work, M'Lord," Haldir said sadly. "He is smarter than you too."

Celeborn hummed and said, "That is a frightening thought, Haldir. What will we do if your son remains defiant and turns against us to fight with our enemies?"

"My Lord!" Haldir exclaimed. "It is not right to say such things, even in teasing."

"I am not teasing," Celeborn said. To Haldor he said, "Do you think you know better than us? Do you think you can withstand the deception for which Lady Galadriel and I fell? Do you think you can win against Sauron's will, by pitting your will against us?" Celeborn leaned toward him and warned, "That is what the enemy wants, Haldor! To divide us, to keep us from helping one another so that we are weak, and he can more easily win."

"My son… would never…" Haldir started.

"How are you so sure?" Celeborn demanded, standing.

"You go too far!" Haldir said, himself defiant now. "Haldor, come here." His son hesitated a moment and then amazingly did what he was told. He took Haldir's hand and stood just behind him. "I know not what game you are playing here M'Lord," Haldir said. "But he is only an elfling and I will not have you filling his head with doubts and fears on his character before he has had a chance to grow up and decide for himself what kind of an elf he will be."

"I thought you had decided for him," Celeborn said, not backing down at all. "He is going to be as brave and noble as you; only better because you are starting him early in his training, pushing him to be more than you, maybe even more than me. Is that not what you intend?" Haldir looked away and Celeborn added, "It seems your logic is, he could never fail on such a grand scale when you do not allow even small errors?"

Haldir could feel his son's hand squeezing his own and the fear of that possibility gripped his heart. How awful would it be if his own driving of him caused his son to rebel as some elves of old would do? He stood there, for the longest time, trying to reconcile what exactly Celeborn was trying to teach him, desperate not to damage his son in the process.

"Ada?" Haldar said. "I want to go home."

He nodded to his son, looking down on his innocent, beautiful face, and Haldir ran his hand over his head. Instead of pulling away, his son simply gazed up at him, almost with longing.

"We will finish this later," Haldir said to Celeborn.

"I look forward to it," Celeborn said.

Once home, Haldor was quieter than usual and gentler with his sister than he normally would be. He did not even tease her when she insisted Haldir dance around their flet with her in her diadem, wearing a crystal shawl Elienne had made from his mother's torn wedding dress.

He did his best to receive her joy, but was genuinely grateful when it was finally time for them to sleep. He stepped out with Elienne above their home for some blessed privacy before his scheduled watch.

"It did not go well with Celeborn?" she asked him.

"To say the least," he grumbled. "I truly thought he would have more prudence than to expose a young one to the darkness in the world before his parents thought him ready… not to mention his making me look like a fool in front of my own son."

"Is that what you think?" Elienne asked. He glanced at her and she said, "That is not what I saw in Haldor's eyes just now when you kissed him goodnight. Whatever happened, he is renewed in his view of you as his champion. I even thought I saw him smiling at you and Liendriel when normally he sees dancing as silly."

"Hmmm," Haldir said. "I did have harsh words with the king."

"You spoke ill to Lord Celeborn?"

"He drew it from me on purpose, it was not uncalled for," he defended and then realized the purpose of the drama. "I supposed he knew my son needed reason to respect me… I am not going to stand down, however. It is for me to decide when my young learn the horrors of this world. And I must be sure they are ready!"

"In case you care, I think them ready," Elienne said. When he looked at her Elienne said, "You never asked me about your planned curriculum?"

"You never gave input, I thought you deferring to my wisdom as your elder?"

"I have more experience with raising elflings than you," she corrected. "And my father told Darimaetha about Meklor and Sauron when she was five. By ten she was learning of the turning of orcs."

"Well maybe that's her problem with nightmares!" he jested, indignant. It did not go over well and his wife looked ready to leave him standing there alone. "Forgive me," he said sincerely. "I miss her as much as I do Rúmil. My only comfort is his confidence this trek will release the secrets of her broken heart."

"I have my doubts," Elienne said. "Especially after the message I received today from Arwen." He perked up and she said, "They are in Rivendell and Rúmil has forbidden anyone from speaking to her unless she approaches them. I do not understand his ways… they seem so cruel."

"That does seem excessive, but I am happy to hear they did not leave on a ship when at the havens!" he said, making her chuckle. Then he thought on his own strategies with his son. "Did I not do the same when Haldor refused to speak?"

"That was different," she said. "He would not speak at all, Dari will simply not speak of her trauma."

"All I know is sometimes extreme measures work," he said. Elienne leaned into him and he put his arm around her and he said, "I wonder how the brothers and Orophin are fending in Rohan… how I long for the eyes to see as clearly beyond our borders as does our Lady Galadriel. I would not worry at all I think."

"Or maybe you would worry more!" Elienne corrected. "She seems to."

"You spoke with her today?" he asked.

"She has nothing she can offer on my parents or why they do not return letters by swallow. I can no longer see my mother, I fear she may have passed on." Haldir started to offer her comfort and she shook her head and smiled. "Her peace would be a blessing... you should go, the guardians will be looking for you!"

He kissed her hands and was off.

**Part 3 ~ Haldir and Celeborn**

On his march round the wood, checking in on those keeping watch, Haldir was not surprised to be approached by an unlikely wanderer.

"Is now a good time to resume our discussion?" Celeborn asked.

"Of course my, Lord," Haldir said, with a bow, keeping his tone and posture formal, though there were no others about within hearing.

"Put away your pretense," Celeborn said, "We two are friends here. Speak freely."

Haldir took him at his word and held back nothing. "I should like to clap your chin with my fist as a man in brawl for what insult you placed upon me today!"

"I do not recommend it," Celeborn warned.

"No, I am aware you would hand me teeth in the end, M'Lord, that is why I resist. I just thought you should know my heart."

"I know your heart," Celeborn spoke gently. "I love your heart, and your passion for your son. That is the only reason I bother to interfere... and it worked didn't it? He left with complete allegiance to you after swearing loyalty to forever serve me should I be able to rescue him from your unreasonable lectures and lessons."

"He what?" Haldir asked.

"It nearly brought a tear to my eye!" Celeborn said. "And by the wood, he is adorable! I swear he looks just like you at his age, a bit thinner, but it is as if I am being haunted by your former self."

"Are you saying that is the problem then? He's too much like me?"

"He only hates you because he loves you so much. If he did not care he would not be so torn by the discord," Celeborn said. "As for your part of it, doing battle with your own son may finally open your eyes and heart to what the rest of us must endure with you!"

"Endure?" Haldir asked. "Usually such words are reserved for curses, not friends... excuse me, I have a pace to keep up. Thank you for explaining your regard, M'Lord, I will keep it in mind."

Keeping up, Celeborn began walking with him as he spoke. "Haldir... All I want to suggest is that you need to let him win, sometimes."

"I see," Haldir said. "So I should let him get away with not studying? Brilliant advice."

"I think you should let him get away with arguing with you about studying. And I think you should listen to him and respond to him as if the fight itself is a lesson and not a impediment of one. And on occasion, let him win; as you did Feldor's case against you."

"Feldor's heart is pure!"

"So is Haldor's!" Celeborn laughed and then more quietly said, "And so is yours... that is why you so often bow to the humble and the meek and encourage the weak willed. But the arrogant and defiant you do not allow a moment of pleasant victory."

Haldir knew it was true, it was calculated and he resisted his lord's wisdom.

"Haldir," he said and grabbed him to stop walking. "The proud, of all of us, need mercy the most... to be shown what it is to have kindness given where it is not deserved. If you love me and want your son to love you and respect you as you do me, you must give him more mercy than judgment... and remember, mercy is only called mercy because it is not justice... it is not what he deserves. But it will win him to you and once you win someone to you, they will listen. As you do me."

"Oh, so this is what you do for me?" Haldir asked. "You give my arrogant heart mercy when I deserve something else?"

Celeborn feigned shock. "Never! You are so near to perfect, I rarely am able to enjoy such pleasures as correcting you."

Haldir tilted his head and felt his heart melting at the tenderness being shown him. He thought on how wretched he had been after their parents had passed, blaming his father as a way to not feel how he blamed himself. Celeborn had endured him, as Haldir had endured his brother; not just for pain, but for love. It was a correct judgment against him, but merciful still.

"Thank you M'Lord," he said. "I am blessed to have you."

"And I you. Now, won't you allow me to finish your rounds, and you go back and be with that beautiful wife of yours. She was quite amused at my proposal of the charade, but she was convinced you would fall for it."

"Elienne was in on it?" he asked, remembering her laughter at sending him off to his Lord's house and just earlier when she informed him he never asked her what she thought. "Did you ask her first?"

"Of course! I would not put Haldor in that position if I had not at least one of his parent's notice first that he was mature enough." With a hand on Haldir's shoulder he said, "And she was right except for her perception of your infallibility. Go. That is an order, not a suggestion."

"You can relieve me of my duty, but you cannot force me to return home and reward my wife with warm embraces after she conspired against me!"

"I should think she would feel indebted to make it up to you!" Celeborn laughed. "Galadriel would," he said with a sparkle in his eye. "There are few finer pleasures than being won back by one's wife."

As long as their friendship had been in place, Haldir had yet to become comfortable hearing of his Lady and Lordships intimacies. "I had not thought of it that way," Haldir said, trying not to think of it at all.

"Go, as I said," Celeborn repeated. "It will be good for the guards to see my face for a change."

Haldir did not think Elienne likely to act out as his Lady might and instead an alternate contemplation graced his mind; and he chuckled.

"What is it and why are you still walking with me?" Celeborn asked.

"My being the eldest in our bond, my relations with my wife are quite different, my Lord," he said. "I think perhaps rather than me being in need of coaxing to forgive her, my Elienne is in need of me teaching her a proper lesson."

Haldir knew just thinking of it was likely making his eyes glow and Celeborn was about to speak, obviously curious in his concern.

"You will get no more explanation than that, I am off!" he said and lightly lifted into a sprint home.

**Part 4 ~ Elienne  
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Elienne was just putting out the lantern when she heard someone entering their flet with light foot falls. She stayed her hand as she wondered at first if perhaps if Orophin and the brothers had returned early; it would not be unusual for Lamer to sneak in to kiss the twins. But then she heard the setting down of a sword on Haldir's wall mount.

Her heart skipped as to why he might not have finished his rounds. When he pulled back the curtain, the expression of intent in his eyes was mingled with an edge of ire. She knew at once, Celeborn must have told him of her contribution to his scheme with Haldor.

"Forgive me?" she said. "It seemed for the best, my love."

He entered the small private corner of their flet and let the curtain fall behind him. "It was," he said and proceeded to undress, slowly, watching her more than what he was doing. "You both were right. I needed redirection."

"Are you upset?" she asked, hoping to draw dialogue.

"Not particularly," he said. He dropped his tunic and stepped out of it and then began to unbutton his silk shirt.

Elienne could not take her eyes from his frame and sat back on her pillow, placing an arm behind her head. She felt need to draw increasingly heavy breaths as he pulled off the shirt and left it to hang on his hook. She flushed as he placed his hands on his hips, standing in only his bulging leggings.

And then to her disappointed dismay he said, "I think I will sleep out on the couch tonight."

He was toying with her, she knew it. "Like that?" she asked, exaggerating an expression. "You ought to cover with a robe or you'll scare our young in the morning."

He feigned her having a good point and lifted her dainty pink silk robe, pulled the over sized sleeves on and wrapping the belt around his waist. She couldn't help but snicker but when he turned and left her, the curtain falling behind him, she decided not to let this game continue. Renewal of their bond was needed for the discontent between them and if he needed her to initiate after helping to humble him, Elienne was not unwilling to oblige.

She stepped up and to the curtain, ready to draw him back to bed, but when she stepped through Haldir was waiting and took her quickly up into his arms, covering her mouth with his hand to quiet her. It was not an exactly gentle carry out of their home onto the bridge, but once there, his grasp became less stern and he spoke in a promising hush.

"It has been too long I have held back my restraint for fear of our elfling's excellent hearing."

She turned her head to see he was taking her to his brothers' now empty home and once inside he did not hesitate before entering the barren and poorly lit room of Rúmil.

"Will he not mind?" she asked.

He dumped her on the bed without answering and stepped back, his hand clasping the lock behind him.

Elienne let out a light laughing sigh and watched as he paced in front of her like a tiger ready to pounce on its prey. His eyes were in full glow and while she was also becoming aroused by his passionate pursuit, Elienne was unsure of her place in his plan. She lay back, stretching on the made bed and waited.

"Undress yourself," he ordered.

She lifted her brows and wondered at the tone. For only a moment she considered correcting his presumption that she was his to order, until a thought; a wordless whisper came to her heart assuring her she was free to forgo his desire to dominate. He made it clear that his unusual tempting treat to take her on his terms was only going to happen by her will.

Delighted, Elienne dropped her sleeping gown off her shoulder and slipped it down further, slowly, below the fruit of her bosom. He knelt on the bed and in an unexpected flash he had her by both wrists in one tight grip above her head. The other he pressed against her as it removed the rest of her gown while his ravishing mouth on her neck drew chills and quivers throughout her.

In all the times they had come together until now each was always equally involved in the delicate process. For some reason, be it need or desire Haldir removed her participation in bringing him into her. Rather, he choose to overwhelmed her body and soul, stimulating too many senses for her to completely comprehend or control her response. She cried out in both ecstasy and abandon, seeing the force of his spirit entering her as he owned her and felt his own completion in her only upon her absolute submission to his will.

As he relaxed his weight on her, utterly spent and released, she sobbed, seeing he was bound to her, withholding nothing; revealing that even in his strength, power and conquest, he was not his own, he was hers.

"I love you," she finally managed to utter, her hands on his sweat slick back.

"I certainly hope so," he whispered.


	16. Hope

**Part 1 ~ Elienne**

Waking up in Rúmil's room had been dark and disorienting until Elienne had found the note Haldir left for her in his empty place by her side. It claimed he had let her sleep and informed her he was seeing to their young for breakfast and insisted she wear the high collar robe he had left for her on Rúmil's dressing hook.

It was an odd request, she thought at first, until she remembered the previous evening and stood before Dari's mirror to confirm her suspicions. Elienne blushed at the sight of the purplish testaments to her husband's ardor on her neck and did as he had instructed, smiling at his thoughtful discretion.

After changing the linens and returning home, Elienne found Haldir sitting at their table watching over the twins writing; Haldor just as engaged as Lien for once! Glancing up at her, his eyes twinkled and she found there were very few chores she could do without feeling his eyes on her.

When finally Haldor and Lien were to run off on an errand and they had a moment alone, she met Haldir's smoldering gaze and teased, "What?"

He raised his brows innocently and smirked. With a sigh Elienne approached where he sat in his favorite chair and stood before him, welcoming his hands on her hips as she looked down on him. She expected he would act upon his yet to be satiated appetite, but instead, she felt a sudden shift in his mood.

"I need to ask you a question, to be sure on something very important to me," he said oddly. As she waited his eyes became wise with an elder look to them. "Were you completely satisfied last night?"

Elienne laughed out loud at him, but his smile was controlled and intense as he continued.

"I saw the signs of pleasure, but I need to ask, did I fulfill your desires?"

With a sigh she said, "You are being wretchedly unfair and pathetic if you need my reassurance to your performance beyond the proclamation of my blissful utterances." She opened the collar of her robe and ran her fingers just below her jaw and said, "The colors of my arousal and completion are rosier than my skin's memory."

Unshaken by her flirtation and still bizarrely confident, Haldir shrugged and asked, "How am I to know that is not just a physical manifestation and all of your sweet moans were merely an act for the benefit of my need to triumph?"

Now Elienne was become uncomfortable with his strange posture and she squared her look in his eyes to make it apparent she was not welcoming his tease any longer.

"I know you believe me to be in jest," Haldir said, unmoved, "but you have master skills of deception, my love. How can I even be certain that you were willing in our bonding when for all perceptions it felt as though I was forcing myself upon you?"

"I felt you in my mind and I know _you_ know I approved," she said, unhappy with him. "You would never do as you did without my consent. My husband as I know him would be incapable of such outrageous selfishness." As if scolding him for questioning his own nobility, she said, "I know not why you are saying these things Haldir, but never have I been so close to angry with you since our first intended night when you purposefully attempted to make me so. Please, explain yourself or I shall have to compose an agonizing song to make your ears weep."

The chuckle at her threat was the first sign to Elienne that she had broken through this well-rehearsed discourse, but it did not sway him for long; he went straight back to it.

"So what you are saying, is that you trust me to seek your approval in such matters?" he asked.

"Always," she said.

"And what about other matters?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. "Do you trust me completely to always be noble to your wishes even where I have not perceived either audible or spiritual consent?"

Elienne felt a check in her heart and her frustration turned to wariness of his point. "Such as?"

"The education of our young?" he suggested and then paused for emphasis. "I know I did not ask your opinion, but, if I am ever proceeding in any manner which you find objectionable, or even to which you have a suggestion, why would you not trust my nobility to listen to you? Why did you wait until an elder outside our home entered to give his opinion?"

Elienne looked down, suddenly understanding.

In a hush he said, "I would sooner seek Lord Celeborn's instructions on intimacy then avoid your opinion on how to raise Lien and Haldor." He squeezed her hips and said emphatically, "You are their mother and have just as much right to the guidance of their education as I. In their regard, I would listen to you before even Lady Galadriel."

The fear gripping her heart mixed with the pain of having failed him and Elienne sat down upon her husband's knee and then, in weakness, fell into his arms.

"Why do you crumble?" he asked holding her. "I meant for this lesson to enlighten, not injure!"

"It is not the lesson, it is the reason why I needed it," she said. "I withheld my opinion, because I do not trust it. My father rarely listened to my nonsense suggestions regarding my sister's upbringing... and what little I did try to bestow of grace and beauty that I learned from Arwen, my foul mentoring failed Dari at every mark... so much so even your brother cannot rescue her!"

"I am not your father and it is a lie from the deepest regions of the Dark Abyss to blame yourself for Dari's decisions!" he exclaimed. "It is wounds or temperament which delay her healing, not you and certainly not Rumil. Even if your mother and father had been perfect in all of their teaching and guidance, she still may have fallen, for the darkness of this world... it's tragedy is... unforeseen…"

Elienne wanted to believe his testimony, and waited for him to continue. When he did not she looked up and saw his chin dimpled. She lightly stroked his anxious, pale face with the back of her finger until he finally was able to speak. "We share a similar fear, only our tactics for tackling it differ."

He closed his eyes and confessed, "I blamed my parents and myself for what happened to them and Rúmil. I thought I had learned long ago that it was nobody's fault save the darkness in this world… Forgive me. What I learned I did not practice." He opened his eyes again and said, "I did not seek your opinion because the only counsel I sought was my fear."

"What pair we make exasperating each others flaws!"

"So much so, Celeborn saw fit to take drastic measures," he added. Then resolute he declared, "I will make broad attempts to compensate for my weakness, but I cannot claim to know I will be wiser in the future, so I beg of you to speak up, no matter how difficult it may seem. Trust that I value your heart and your words as much, if not more than my own?"

Though she felt like an elfling to his years of wisdom and knowledge, Elienne nodded. Quick as ever he kissed her lips and sealed the promise. When he pulled back seemingly done with the conversation, Elienne rested her arms on his shoulders and gazed into his eyes.

"Hmmm?" he asked.

Toying with him, she moved her lips close to his and then smiled and kissed his soft cheek. Sitting on his lap as she was, she could tell he was quick to enjoy her flirtation and continued, with light tokens, feeling him warm to her affection. As if the roles were reversed from the night before, he sat receiving her, emptied of his usual urgency to respond; patient with her pace.

Though mindful to the ease of his rising frustration and the deficit of time in which it could be relieved, she continued to captivate him, only sensing the danger of her tease when she ran her finger behind his ear. His eyes closed, Haldir turned his head with a pant, and enjoying her power too much to resist, Elienne kissed her way over his cheekbone, and was about to envelope his lobe illicitly between her lips when she heard Haldor's voice.

"Why are you blocking my way, Lien, these are heavy!"

Elienne looked up to see at the doorway, her daughter stood, mouth open and confused. Just behind her innocent daughter was her son, carrying the baskets of apples and rolls.

As she got up off of Haldir, he turned away from their young and crossed his arms with a hand up to his face.

"Well look who is home so quickly!" Elienne said cheerfully.

"What were you doing?" Lien asked, gazing up at Elienne and then back at Haldir.

"I was showing your father how much I love him," she said, approaching them.

"Then why is he embarrassed?" she asked, walking toward him as if worried.

"I am not embarrassed!" Haldir said with a laugh. He faced them, his eye's light not having dimmed all the way and said, "I _am_ disappointed that you were early, but I am _not_ cross, for I have an eternity to enjoy your mother's velvet kisses. For nowI will welcome one of those rolls, if Haldor can spare one!"

"They aren't even iced yet!" Lien said with a grin. "But I will start now and you may have the first when I am done!"

"Sugar icing?" Haldir asked, glancing at Elienne. She shrugged unaware of the plan.

As Liendriel explained vividly to her father the acquisition of confection and cream, Elienne took the basket of rolls from Haldor, feeling it very heavy with the weight of the extra cargo.

"I sent you both so you each could carry one load," she scolded with affection. "You spoil her worse than your father sometimes."

"She likes to run about, and I was afraid she would drop them," he explained.

Elienne kissed his head and said, "You do not fool me Haldor. This is how you show your sister you love her, and you know it."

His grin showed she was right and following her to their kitchen area he helped her mix the concoction, letting Lien could do the honors of the decoration.

**Part 2 ~Dari**

For days Dari wandered around Rivendell alone, returning to her assigned room on occasion for short rests. Her clothes had appeared eventually, though she left on the dark gown to blend with the Rivendell inhabitants. The bread and cheese Rúmil had brought did not last long and not knowing the safe and set boundaries for hunting in this realm, she was relegated to an apple tree she had found for her nourishment; she would have to make an approach for charity soon, or starve.

Sitting where she continually felt herself drawn, on a stone bridge over a water fall, Dari contemplated her options: beg from one of the elders here to have mercy on her, leave Rivendell and try to make her way home alone, wither away until she was nothing but bones or jump into the falls and end it all poetically. None were acceptable and all she wanted was to be reunited with her mentor.

She would not believe that Rúmil had abandoned her, not even after what had happened between them. He was here, and near. She felt him and believed she could sense some vague suffering mingled with comfort. It was a strange impression that he was in pain, but not distress; similar to when she sat with Feldor the last few days before the spear head was released from his side.

She wondered if Rúmil was hiding from her. Had she hurt him so badly with her ugly judgment?

Dari closed her eyes, blocking out everything but the sound of the river raging through the bridge column supports below. Her legs dangling, she sleepily laid back on the cold stone, laying her hands on her hollow stomach. She felt as she did after she had tried to protect Rúmil from Gandalf; her devastating regret of her cruelty towards him had turned her swiftly from attacking him to coming to his defense. Cursed with double mindedness, here she was again, cut off from him, empty and as helpless to save him as when she had been paralyzed by magic.

And yet it was in that place of weakness that her spirit had found his. Could it be done again? She wondered and ached enough to make things right that she meant to try.

Reaching out with her heart she tried to find the feeling she remembered of lifting away from the heaviness of her body. At first it seemed as if she had opened her eyes, though she had not. For she could see all around her a double image; the figures of elves standing and walking through their city were as she remembered, ignoring her, idle with their own thoughts, and yet now, there was a glowing shadow imposed upon each of them. From their spirit countenances she discerned that they _were_ aware of her lying on the bridge, and concerned!

Distracted only momentarily she set her heart back to her desire. Without deciding on direction, she began falling in spirit through the water, though she stayed dry, and then through the stones below the river into the ground and to what seemed both a dungeon and a sanctuary. It was barren and freezing, but still the most beautiful room she had ever seen for it was lit as if the very air glowed.

Gazing around she saw a female, so large as to make Dari feel the size of an elfling. She was seated on the floor and Dari realized at once, it was she who lit the room! Suddenly Dari became aware that from this spirit flowed trickling streams of glimmering, warm water that pooled around her own ankles. The skirt of the spirit's gown looked to be the texture of velvet, miraculously dry as it covered most of the floor. Her white, silky hair covering her face, draped as a curtain concealing whatever it was she held.

When Dari realized suddenly that these were tears she was standing in, and this was Vala Nienna, her own heart broke at the depth of grief she witnessed.

A question left her mind unwillingly and without a vocal element. "Why do you weep?"

The Vala did not answer or look up to reveal her face. She instead, leaned back, ever so slowly and carefully until Dari could see there within her arms the cold, rigid form of her mentor. His face, though pale as death, was sweet and full of youth; nearly unrecognizably so. Her fear that he had passed overwhelmed her, and though she wanted to, in this state, she could not shed a tear, she could only move toward him, to join in mourning over him.

Nienna did not try to stop her, but instead, faded away, revealing that Rúmil was lying on a bed, now in a dark room, save for the light Darimaetha had brought in her own spirit. Her sorrow at his possible passing was instantly swallowed when he sat up, his elder self again, frightened and looking at her.

"Who are you?" she heard, though his lips did not move.

Dari immediately felt relieved that he lived, yet realized she had violated his wishes and his privacy by coming here. She wanted to answer, but felt herself pulled away, without ability to stop it. She reached out to try to hold on, but was instantly gone from him into darkness. When she opened her eyes, she did not see the stone lattice of the bridge covering above her, but the face of someone unfamiliar, hovering over her.

He was a stunning elf with dark hair and eyes, and full lips; yet he had an unpleasant expression as he looked down on her.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

Overcome, she did not answer, but found solace knowing Rúmil was safe, resting in the arms of perfect comfort. As she was studied by the elf above her, she reached her hand to wipe away the manifestation of that now distant sorrow.

He squatted down and said, "I have seen you lingering here before; by whose invitation do you reside in Rivendell?"

"Nobody's," she said. "My mentor brought me here."

"Are you Darimaetha, Rúmil's apprentice?" he asked. She nodded and sat up, but before she could ask for his name, he said, "Rise and follow me."

She did so and unlike before when she felt invisible to the others, now that she knew differently from seeing their spirit faces, she noted the discrete curiosity of the others as they observed her being led away.

The elf climbed stairs into a building she had not yet entered where they passed a cold hearth and through a room with windows whose red sheer curtains blew in a breeze. When finally he stopped in a study and made his way behind a desk where he sat, she stood far from him, feeling faint.

"I cannot have visitors wandering around idle and half alive; it is unsettling to our people," he said. Dari would have found his comment amusing if he had not followed it up with a terse scold. "If you needed means for your welfare, you should have inquired after it. The elves of Rivendell are notoriously generous."

"I have no useful skills to trade, M'Lord."

"No?" he asked and opened a drawer. He pulled out a small book and placed it on the desk. He studied her curiously, as if waiting for her to approach. She held her ground, and finally he asked, "Are you always this meek or has hunger left you feeble?"

"I find strangers unsettling," she said.

"I am no stranger, I am Erestor, your sister's former tutor." While she tried to conceal her concern, he picked up on it immediately. "My regard for Elienne was mutually unfavorable; however you seem different, less silly, which makes you exponentially more tolerable." He tapped the book and said, "Translate this for me and I will care for your needs until your mentor returns."

Dari stepped closer, slowly, until she was close enough to see the writing on the cover. She then moved quickly, reached out and picked it up. "I know this language!" she exclaimed.

"Given you are the only elf in Rivendell able to read it, perhaps you understand your value to me. I do not offer you charity, but to be of service. Accept the task of translation and whatever you ask for shall be yours. I am Lord Elrond's highest adviser and everything of his is under my discretion to distribute."

"Besides a bit to eat now and then," she said as politely as she could, "I need nothing but distraction until my mentor returns to me."

"That may be a very long while," he said. When she did not falter, he softened slightly. "Should you need a tutor, in any regard, I offer myself. If I do not suffice, I will attempt to secure you another who will." When again she did not respond he added, "Lord Rúmil was my mentor once, Darimaetha. You may find my teaching style familiar and hopefully less abrasive than your sister did."

The confusing revelation warmed her feelings toward him. "Are you not several centuries older than he?"

Void of expression Erestor confirmed, "I experienced a trauma none other in Middle Earth was qualified to help me overcome." He stood and said, "I can only assume that is why he took you in; the pity of the gravely wounded is not easily won by those with trivial afflictions."

Dari squeezed the book to her chest and held her tongue.

"My reserves are in a pantry across from the scarlet clad windows. You may help yourself to whatever you see for food or clothing. If it is not there, leave me a note on this desk and I will secure it or see it made. You may use the scribe room off the library downstairs for your study; any supplies you see there are at your disposal, for this task or your own purposes. Questions?"

Though unsure about everything, she shook her head, deciding she would rather discover for herself than prolong this awkward interaction. When he raised his brows she understood he meant for her to go, and she did, both dreading and grateful for the task.

…

"You are more like your sister than I supposed," Erestor said, handing her a strong smelling cloth. Dari cleaned the ink from her fingers while he picked up her latest writing. "What is this messy scribbling in the margin?"

"A pronunciation chart," she said guardedly.

"Pronunciation charts belong in an appendix. You have spoiled this page; start over." Dari braced herself as he glanced at the older pages. "It is on all of them!" he exclaimed. "Why did you not consult me before marring those which I approved?"

"If I am to teach you this language I should be able to do it in the way that seems best to me!" she argued.

"I did not ask you to teach me this language; I am providing your needs in exchange for a translation," Erestor exclaimed. "You are in debt to me, not my tutor!" He flung the parchment back onto the desk and said, "Forget what I said. Given your work was only marginally sufficient anyway, write out the rest quickly and I will have one of my skilled students print it properly for my review."

Imagining her sensitive sister sitting under such sinister criticism, Dari crossed her arms, sat back and hissed, "This book has something to do with your trauma, doesn't it?"

It was the first time she spoke out of turn to him, but not the first time she had been tempted. His petty and pointless picking at her script without giving true direction had spurred her early on and put into perspective Rúmil's tedious, but efficient tasks of drudgery.

When Erestor finally glanced back at her she said, "I lived with Easterlings for three years. Perhaps if you told me why you think the answers you seek are buried within this book, I could help you find them." Clearly livid at her audacity, she rescinded with sarcasm, "Never mind, I'm sure waiting for it to be written properly will be less painful than having a discussion with a dependent."

As a mighty dragon taking in a great breath before releasing his flaming scourge, Erestor stood up tall and came toward her. Without thought, Dari stepped off her working stool and put up her hands as if to block an attack.

He startled and took a step backward. Dari put her hands down, and said, "Forgive my reflex. I meant no offense."

Erestor stared at her with wide eyes, digesting all she had suddenly thrown upon him. He then went to the table and sat. In dark wonder he glanced down and whispered, "Such training is good for those who leave the safety of an elven realm."

Dari stood waiting in the silence until he offered, "Your assumption is correct. This book was thrown at me by a man who was one of many to ambush my companion and me. Until now I have not had the opportunity for meaning to accompany my healing. Unfortunately, your work has only brought up more questions."

"This book belonged to an agent of the law," she explained and took her seat across from him. "Priests hold the full Holy Book in a vault and only read to the people on Holy days. A field agent would never give up his copy without reason; it would forfeit his prestigious position. Can you tell me any more about the circumstances?"

Erestor closed his eyes and his nose flared with a breath before he spoke.

"We were traveling to Darkwood when we were abducted," he said stiffly. "The offenders did not hurt us as first. They took us to a tent and attempted to trade meager blankets and dresses. They showed us poorly drawn pictures of animals and houses." Erestor opened his eyes, but kept them downcast as he continued. "Without a common language my companion thought them trying to communicate for amiable reasons. We had been told by the King of Darkwood, your father's uncle, that relations were going well with men. She began to feign interest in one man's drawings and attempted to name the creatures for him." His eyes shifted as he added, "But then he took her behind a partition in the tent. I protested mildly at first, until I heard her scream. I fought with what little might was mine, but was outnumbered and beaten unconscious. Later I was informed: she had been raped... Have you heard of that horror?"

"Yes," she whispered, gawking at his seeming lack of affect.

"I had first accepted the explanation of elves privy to our plight that there had been a misunderstanding; that the pictures shown to us were offers of payment by mortals seeking sexual gratification. But many years later, before Uveliel left for the West, she gave me this book." He looked at it and said, "She told me the man who attacked her was killed by one who had at first condoned the rape, but then something made him change his mind. She did not know what, but her pleas had saved my life."

As he waited for her to respond, the silence seeped into her, boring out her insides. Her knowledge of their ways gave her insight she did not want to share. The last time she had spoken of such things was with her mother, who was now fading in grief. Dari felt a sob rising in her as the memories she had buried began to make their way back into her mind. She struggled, but kept herself from breaking with a shuddering deep breath.

"Was your trauma such as hers?" Erestor asked.

She shook her head and pressed her lips closed. Erestor kindly waited for her to compose herself and when finally she did, she looked up at his concerned face, blurred by her pooled tears. "Was she your wife?" she asked, swiping a tear.

He clenched his jaw and said, "Irrelevant. I could not have walked away unscathed, regardless of how I cared for her."

"I ask not to pry into your heart, but to help unravel your mystery," she explained. "It would not be irrelevant to the Easterlings. For all their faults, they did come to believe that marriage was sacred. If the agent of law did not first test your companion to be a virgin, he had a legal obligation to kill the man who took her, once they discovered you could be her husband."

He thought on it for a moment and then asked, "What do you mean 'discovered'?"

"Before they beat you, they stripped you?" she asked.

He nodded, confused at first and then slowly, disgust flushed his face.

"They were wife claiming," she explained. "Men do not appreciate elven male elegance; every male of their race grows beards when he is able, and they judge all beauty as feminine. You are lovelier than any woman in the east and in that time era, only virgins would travel without a face covering... as a way to advertise they were unwed and looking for a husband. The gifts and pictures of their property were to prove themselves good suitors so that you two might choose among them. They did not want to buy you, but to marry you."

Stricken, he said, "All of her sorrow could have been avoided had we not been so ignorant of their culture..."

"No, m'Lord," Dari insisted, leaning forward. "As dire as it was, it was better as it happened. In the era of my father's uncle, marriage was sacred, but they had very little honor! Had they known you were male, they may have killed you first and then properly examined her. If she was your wife, she would have been passed around between them, possibly killed. If she was not, she would have been found to be a virgin and the man who took her would have made her his wife; forcing her to endure his attempts to sire half-elflings. He would have failed of course, and your friend executed for being barren."

"Why would they do this?" he gasped.

"They do not know better!" she said. "My father has spent his life trying to explain these laws they took from his uncle."

Indignant, Erestor asked, "You sound as if you approve of such nonsense?"

"I do not know what to think of it anymore," she said. "When I was there, I approved. I was very young and listening to the readings, it all sounded so righteous, elven even. But after witnessing the application of their law, I saw them as hypocrites." She looked at the book and said, "The goodness of the law was not persuasive enough for the people to follow, so the kings created harsh penalties."

Picking up a piece of parchment again, he waved it at her and said, "Paying a fair wage, restitution for damages to property, arbitration in disputes; these is not enlightenment, but common sense and simple acts of courtesy! Others, such as adultery, are followed naturally by elves because if broken they lead to our death." He dropped it and chided, "_without_ the need for an gent to add kinslaying to his conscience!"

"If it is true that you have studied under Rumil, than you know his teaching of wholeness of heart," Dari began, "It is what keeps elves faithful, gentle and kind. In my experience, because of my pain I have abandoned many elven graces. My anger and fear has caused great pain to those I love..." she choked up as she added, "And my shame of that makes me shrink from company... But Rumil consistent forgiveness and companionship has set my feet back on the path each time, helping my heart to heal through his example of compassion. Was that your experience as well?"

Erestor hesitated, but reluctantly nodded. Quickly she went on.

"It is not so simple for mortals. The abuse and brokenness in their culture is so thick, it is systemic. Even their children walk around more wounded than you and I... constantly bullying each other instead of playing; and the only guidance they receive from elders is insults and violence. Is it any wonder they grow to be brutes?"

His eyes darted down. "What you say is absurd, even orcs know such acts do damage!"

"They know it's wrong!" she exclaimed. "The king especially, that is why he let my father bring me, to teach his son while he was still young. My father offered them friendship, hoping they could learn by example..." For the first time in decades Dari felt a semblance of understanding and affection for her father, and even admiration of his tenacious optimism, despite what it cost her.

"Your father was a fool to expose you to such villains!" Erestor snapped. "I can only imagine what you witnessed in those three years, and what they did to you." He stood and quipped, "There is no need to complete this useless work. You may stay as long as you like under our original agreement, but I no longer want this book in the library. Dispose of it however you see fit."

Her heart was still pounding over the realizations she was making as he left her. Her father was a fool, but maybe that is what it took to reach some people? She thought of the prince, and how he had slowly come around to kindness toward her that third year. Her father's plan might have worked, had she not fallen victim to their naivete. That one injury had ruined everything... and she had continued the legacy of that wound, bringing so much injury to those she loved. It had to stop... She had to stop, to regain the grace from her youth...but how?

If Rumil was here she would dedicate herself to his teachings even more, but without him, how? Dare she seek out a mentor among the elves here? As she contemplated the possibility, her eyes fell to the book of laws before her. It was a place to start.

**Part 3 ~ Rúmil**

Rúmil frowned at the messy workspace of his current apprentice, but not for his own concerns, more for the stress he saw it brought his former student. Resisting the urge to straighten her piles of parchment, he instead picked up a single sheet and recognized at once the configuration on the margin.

"This is Haldir's doing," he explained. "She must have picked it up when he was teaching Feldor the common tongue."

"It is offensive to the book, whomever conceived the notion."

"Offensive, but effective," Rumil said. "Haldir fancies himself a scholar, but he's much more suited to teaching. Feldor learned in less than a year."

"Impressive," Erestor acknowledged and then added, "But still offensive."

Rúmil chuckled and the two exited the scribe room into the main library.

"There is more than distraction that drives her," Erestor commented. "She is looking for answers, as I was."

"If your assumption is correct, and she was punished for some crime, I do not understand the depth of her shame," Rúmil said.

Rúmil sat on a cushioned bench and was mimicked by his companion who was quick to counsel. "She bore my confession as a well seasoned elder. You should not fear to confront her, it will only delay her healing as it did mine."

If Erestor believe that rationalization, there was only one way to test him. "Then I should not withhold what I see in your life now?" Rumil asked. Erestor stiffened, obviously not ready. In his frustration that his elder could be so stubborn, Rumil stood as he grumbled, "You are such a hypocrite."

"_I_ am?" Erestor said, looking up at him. "Please, then, you who cannot heal yourself, share with me the reasons for my failings!"

Obliging, Rumil said, "Your constant short temper is a result of insufficient healing. Healing you will not see until you forgive those who hurt you."

"Forgive!" Erestor gasped, standing. "They would never ask for it, even if they were still alive."

Sadly, Rúmil turned and proceeded to find his student, almost able to feel the growing anger behind him.

"Have _you_ forgiven the _orcs_?" Erestor seethed.

Still at peace after his long retreat, the dagger of an accusation went right through him and he did not stop walking. He heard behind him, the quick, serious padding of footfalls and he slowed.

"M'Lord, Rúmil," Erestor asked, seriously. "Have you? At long last? Is it even possible?"

Rúmil stopped and looked at the desperate elf, usually so proud, now finally humbled. This is how it should have been, this how he should have modeled strength all those years ago when he was trying to help.

"I am closer each day," he said. He heard the familiar voice of Elrond's daughter and looked to see she was strolling with Dari, both of the them dressed in equally elegant velvet, embroidered at their collars. "And each day, my reasons for laying down that mantel of anger grow more important than holding on to it."

When the two she-elves saw him, they stopped and Dari's mouth opened and then fitted into a bright smile.

Rúmil glanced at Erestor, who said, "I suppose I am doomed, then. My only reason sailed West."

"Darimaethea is not my reason, rather, her propensity to seek her healing is my inspiration," Rúmil said. "I am my own reason. I no longer wish to be this way. Look around you, Erestor, and any happy person you see can inspire you." He gestured beyond his approaching student and said, "Go join Arwen, right now. She has just lost her companion and will not get her back today if I have anything to say about it." When Erestor bristled, Rúmil added, "I pity you. What grace you have access to here many would envy, and yet you scorn it, preferring the misery of solitude."

Cautiously by his side now, Rúmil turned from his former student to Dari and almost in defiance to Erestor's image of him, he said to her, "I missed you."

The embrace he received was the warmest he had ever felt from her or anyone in memory. Erestor's envy was palpable; just enough to send him to speak with the welcoming Evenstar.

…

A tone of friendship dominated the discussion of their awkward exchange before his seclusion. Darimaetha's grieving regret extended to many layers of their interactions and her general treatment of others, including many Darkwood residents in addition to her parents and especially for what she had done to poor Legolas. She sought his assistance as mentor to attempt restitution and together they wrote a letter to the Prince. After learning the tone and proper presentation of apology, she composed many letters for his review and he secured a swift courier among the Rivendell riders for delivery of them and the journals for the twins.

At her bidding, he agreed to speak as intimately and honestly as that night months ago, only with her promise of decisively guarded boundaries of appropriateness. She swore to remain properly dressed in front of him and proposed limits to proximity and touching. It all seemed heavy handed to him, not to embrace when alone, or even hold hands out of company, but he was wary to argue for fear she might take it as pursuit of her.

Oddly she remained very uncurious regarding his time away from her and it took months before she was ready to reveal her work in the scribe room continuing translations despite Erestor's dismissal.

"Each line is in three layers," she said, leaning over him as she pointed to the parchment. "Eastron script, Tengware pronunciation, and the Sindarin meaning. In the boxes are word for word translation, to differentiate from the poetic."

He could feel her studying his face and needing him to counter all of what Erestor had likely disqualified. As a friend he would have been impressed with her diligence, but as her mentor, he could not meet those expectations. Her penmanship was off the grid with her letters employing variety of sizes and often writing up the page at a slant. Worse, he had no way to judge the accuracy of her translation.

She sunk slightly, having detected his hesitation and he decided there was one thing he could do.

"Will you teach me this language?" he asked.

She laughed and started to take the parchment from him; he would not let go. "I am sincere," he said.

When finally she believed him, she was exhilarated at the prospect and through that one decision over the next several years they found a whole new depth of exchange. At first he had thought it was reversing their roles that had made such a maturing effect on her temperament; she was so gentle in her correction and put him to shame with her patience. But there was something else different as well; she truly did seem to have found peace here!

It was never more evident to him than when she spoke of her father or the Easterlings; her attitude was healthy and light, without a trace of sorrow or bitterness or even guardedness. Perhaps her healing was complete and she might be ready to open her heart to him on the darker tragedy of her past.

One spring morning when she was particularly cheerful as they sat in the gazebo over the falls having breakfast, he thought it time to pry.

"I have been meaning to ask you," he started casually. He saw her brace, and instantly doubted himself, switching from his original intention to a plan of easing into the matter. "Why do you never inquire on my time away from you?"

She relaxed and chuckled at him. "I thought you preferred your privacy," she said. "You may tell me, if you like."

It was odd how she said it and a thought came to him.

"Do you know something already?" he asked. And there it was, a shift of her eyes. "You do," he said with a smile at her mischievousness. "After all this time, you've kept it from me? Speak up, what do you know?" She tightened her lips and raised her brows, stubborn. Enjoying her difficulty, he offered, "I am not so precious about my privacy as you think. Answer me and I will tell you whatever you want to know… I open my heart with no more secrets."

"Any question?" she asked, studying his authenticity. He smirked that he knew so well how to tempt her.

With dangerous intent rising in his tone he responded, "Anything."

Briefly warning shadowed her eyes and was gone as swiftly as the blink of a bird flying past the sun. She did not heed it and gave in to his inquiry with an intimate tone of tenderness. "I was there," she said. "I saw her with you."

As if he had fallen into the icy river, a chill came over Rúmil. He had several visiting dreams of Dari he though to be of his own minds creation, but twice he had also relived pieces of his past horror. He could not bear to think she had entered one of those dreams and had to clarify, "What did you see exactly."

"You were lying in her arms," she said.

"Who?"

"Nienna!" she said. "How could you not know?" He truly had no memory of it and blinked confused. She went on. "She hovered over you as a mother would her new infant, Rumil. She was weeping, just as the songs tell, with rivers of tears that used to water the trees."

He gazed away from her at the falls across from them and mused on the image she described, feeling it in line with the comfort he embraced in his brokenness. None should claim such attention, so to have his experience confirmed was a treasure, even if he did not lay his eyes on the Vala himself.

"I've thought a long time about it," Dari said, "And I think I know now why she was crying… it wasn't just for what the orcs did to you, but for what you did out of your pain."

His bliss was broken by the drumbeat of his heart, thumping in his chest. He turned his eyes to this lovely instrument of judgment and forced the terrifying question, "What did I do?"

Again in the gentleness one might employ catching a butterfly, she corrected him. "You buried your younger self, to keep him safe. I thought you dead when I saw him, he looked so catatonic. But now I believe, that is who she was crying over." Dari leaned over her arm rest toward him and laying her warm hand on his wrist, she said, "You can not hide from me anymore, for I have seen who you really are, and you are beautiful!"

Rúmil nervously looked away to the wine in his own glass. She sensed his uneasiness and lifted her hand, still leaning forward. As he swirled the red liquid in his glass he confessed, "I was going to try to pry into your heart… Instead, you have completely disarmed me, Maethriel and taken the advantage of higher ground."

As if she had been studying under the Evenstar for warmth of tone, she soothed, "Then I yield my question to you." He glanced up at her and she insisted, "As you offered to me, I offer to you. Ask me anything and I will bear myself!"

Her peace was so bright he thought maybe he should not risk destroying this tranquility; and yet he needed to know, to understand her fully.

"What was done to you that wounded you so?"

She blinked and though her smile did not fade, she did glance down briefly to gather herself.

"Erestor told you what I had said about the reasons for his attack?" she asked. He nodded and Dari sat back away from him and gazed out over the ravine. "When the Prince told his parents that he and I intended to marry, they had to make sure I was worthy." Carefully trying to hide his outrage, Rumil waited for her to finish, certain there was more to say. But after a few moments, Dari looked down and said, "There it is. Such a simple thing to carry for so long."

"To be clear," he inquired, "You were violated by men making certain that you were chaste?"

She turned to examine his reaction and a familiar veil of fear fell over her face. "Yes," she said. "Though, the experience of it was..." Faltering her words she proved it not to be so simple. "I knew nothing of virginity exams when it happened... only what Elienne had told me of bonding, which was more poetry than mechanics at that time."

He could not take his eyes off her as the image of her brokenness solidified with these missing pieces from her past.

"It must have been as confusing as it was horrifying," he said, assuring her of his empathy.

"Yes, even more so after my father explained to me what they had done and why and then insisted it did not matter. He said I could still bond with an elf and be as happy as Elienne was planning to be some day… if I just would stop dwelling on it."

Her brow creased with the weight of it and then, as if making a decision she falsely perked up and shook off her sincerity. "It took me a long while to believe him, especially after what the news did to my mother." A smile stretched her mask as she glanced at him and added, "It is good to have it behind me."

Still helpless to look away from her, the bitter taste of needed confrontation filled his mouth. His voice trembled with trepidation as he asked, "When did you realize your father was right, that such trauma does not really matter for future bonding?"

"I don't know," she said, with a irritable twitch. "Maybe... I just _hope_ he is."

Offering her all he could, he said, "I hope so too."

She did not warm to his affection, but withdrew, speaking with a voice so small as to sound a million miles away.

"Hope is not enough," she said. "Not for me to risk falling in love with someone pure... like Feldor, or Legolas." Grimly she added, "I suppose that is why I found you so attractive. You'll never be healed, so there's no risk."

Though he gave no visible measure of it, the pain from her callus words rushed through his heart as if it had split in two. When she went on in cold tones about her silly affections and the much better situation of their friendship now, he lost his ability to concentrate and his glass slipped from his fingers. It crashed into the stone with what to his ears was a muted tinkling.

She startled, moving in what looked like slow motion; turning to him. His eyes glanced down at the red, blood like stain of wine on the white stone and he felt her hand on his wrist again. She was gentle at first and then tightened her grip, and then shook him.

He could not respond, had no will to even listen until she was kneeling before him, begging him to look at her. When he did his ears seemed to open.

"Forgive me... please!" she begged.

"Do you even know what you've done?" he asked.

"I spurned your affections..." she wept. "But not in earnest, only to protect you from me, for I lied, I have no hope." She looked down on the stone and put her pale hand in the wine among the glass. "This is how my sheets looked in the morning after the attack... how can I still be pure if my seal is broken? I know not what they did, but they stole something from me and that is why the prince had to reject me. If a mortal man finds me unworthy, how much more so an immortal elf?"

Haunted by her hidden pain which fueled such self-centeredness he said, "Rejection of affection is a blessing compared to the treason of a trusted ally." Her confused ignorance did not ease the sting. Deciding to teach his way out of this familiar betrayal he took an elder tone and said, "It was decimating, but all they stole was your innocence and though you cannot get it back, it does not excuse you to do worse damage to others in the protection of your secret... There is power in words, Maethriel, especially when they are spoken by those closest to us."

"What did I say, what curse?" she asked, taking his hands. "Tell me so I can take it back!"

How quick she was to repent, and sincere! Rumil closed his eyes, struggling to continue and then in his memory, he saw his father before him, standing over his mother; blistered and broken. He had lifted his weapon of mercy and screamed with her as he ended her misery. And then, in full despair, just before he fell on his bloody sword, his father had wept, "Kill him, too, Haldir. Kill your brother. It is hopeless..."

He was not sure if he had spoken the memory aloud or if she had seen it in his mind, but Dari sobbed at his pain as if it were her own.

He squeezed her hands and pictured that long run to Rivendell; to this place of healing. "Haldir did not listen," he said. "He would not believe it. And over a thousand years I have tried to make his belief my own." He opened his eyes and lifted her chin. Seeing her sorrow over her sin against him mingled with her own devastation, Rumil felt a sting in his eyes that he barley recognized and a single tear rolled half way down his cheek. It was the first since his time in that dungeon when they had tried to wring all compassion from him.

She saw it and was in awe. The return of that ability restored him and for her benefit as well as his own, he spoke with all the authority he could muster.

"Your father and Haldir were right," he declared. "There _is_ still hope. There is _always_ hope!".


	17. Brothers

**Author's Note: I have added Part 4 from Haldir's POV because the theme is brothers. I deleted the old chapter and added this one so that notifications would go out. If you've read this chapter already, just read Part 4, nothing else has changed... Thanks Bee for the review! And thanks to those who have added this as a favorite story. It means so much...  
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**Part 1 ~ Feldor**

The sun was higher in the sky than Feldor hoped when he and Haldir approached the field beside Legolas's tree. They lingered a while to watch his brother and the twins practicing their performance with Sully in preparation for the entertainment at next week's picnic.

"They are not going to be pleased that we are spying," Haldir said.

"Lamer knew what time we were to leave," Feldor said. "He should have been on time!"

His brother held up the journal Darimaetha had sent the twins almost four year ago and called out directions. "Behind Sully, Haldor…"

Even though he was already fifteen, it was difficult for Feldor to believe the young elf was as tall as Lamer now, towering over his twin sister almost a hand. They both did as directed and when Liendriel crouched down beneath the horse's nose, she reached up and affectionately stroked its leg.

"Stay in character, Lien!" Lamer said with a chuckle.

She pulled back and pretended to be frightened as she said, "Legolas freed himself from the web with both of his knives, and then leaped up from behind the giant spider, mounted it and proceeded to ride the horrid creature in circles around me."

Haldor stood with his legs and arms spread and then made slashing movements before jumping up onto the horse, nimbly balancing on his back. As if understanding his part completely, Sully pranced around, stepping high and carefully about, very unhorse-like.

"How does a horse know how to walk like a giant spider?" Haldir asked Sullendry with chagrin.

"Your line now, Haldor!" Lamer called.

As Sully came round again near Lien, Haldor shouted to her, "The stallions of Mirkwood are not so easily ridden!"

At that cue, Sully reared up. Haldir tensed, taking a step forward, but Haldor flipped backward off the beast and before the huge horse came down, Lien rolled away clear. When Sully did land, Lamer took a pretend shot with an invisible bow and on cue the horse turned and ran off into the field.

Then Lien said to the audience, "After shooting the giant spider right in the eye with two arrows, Lord Rúmil turned to Legolas and said…"

Lamer took on the familiar stoic posture of the elder elf and announced, "It seems our Mirkwood guide has once more shown that his _quickest_ weapon is his _wit_."

"I thought we were working together!" Haldor said with the innocent tone of the Prince.

To that Lien defended, more as her whining self than how Feldor would imagine Dari. "Legolas created a diversion specifically so you could take the shot!"

Lamer then looked at the audience and said, "Yes, of course he did, with all the strategy of a strutting peacock!"

Haldir let out a laugh and when all three of the performers turned their way he clapped and took strides toward them saying, "I certainly hope the Mirkwood Prince can be here to witness such a marvelous rendition."

Seeing his appreciation, Lien quickly forgot the disappointment of discovery and welcomed all of her father's praise, even mining him for more. However, after Haldor and Lamer exchanged glances they each gave Feldor a dark glare for his betrayal.

As he approached them, Feldor pointed at the sun, quickly capturing his brother's realization and apologies for allowing the morning to pass. As Feldor called for Sully, the twins did their worst to convince Lamer to remain behind.

"We have so much more to finish!" Lien said.

"We cannot practice without you," Haldor agreed.

"Ask Orophin to help," Lamer suggested; neither looked interested. "Then your mother."

"No, it must be you," Lien said.

As his brother sweetly eased her concerns, Feldor found difficulty placing the packs of gifts on Sully.

"Why can you not postpone the trip a week, Ada?" Haldor asked. "Until after the picnic."

"We set a specific day to return for a reason," Haldir told him. "The Rohirrim have lives of their own, they will not sit around waiting for elves to visit." When Haldor opened his mouth again, Haldir added, "If we do not keep our word, they will not trust us. We do not need to make enemies, not at this delicate time."

Sully had his own disagreement and reared back dumping the packs off; it drew a long sigh from Haldir.

"Excuse me, while I have words with my friend," Feldor said and led Sully further into the field. "I am not supposed to tell the twins," he said, "But there is more than a potential mare for you at the Inn." The horse's eye watched him as Feldor pulled out the tiny parchment and said, "We also plan to meet Rúmil and Dari…" He let the horse smell her on the parchment and gushed, "They are coming home! They have forfeited the completion of their journey! And it was to me that she wrote this dove's message… I can only hope it means that distance and time has done me a favor in her heart."

Sully stepped back away from Feldor, snorting a few times as if to determine the truth of it.

"Do not go too wild," he warned.

With a whinny as high pitched as he had ever heard it, the stallion became immediately anxious and went back to the packs. Feldor followed and had quite a time keeping the reason for the horse's change in attitude from Haldir's young. Lien was sulking, but Haldor persisted, unable to read his father's patience was waning. "You could bring Lamer back early," he pleaded as he ran beside the trotting Sullendry. "There is truly no need to stay two nights, is there?"

As Haldir fell back to explain to his son why begging was inappropriate, Lamer and Feldor rode on slowly.

Carrying her prized journal, Liendriel watched them sadly and when she gave them a small wave, Lamer blew a kiss. It made her smile but she quickly looked down.

"She likes me more than you," Lamer said proudly. When Feldor glanced at his brother's grin he felt a check in his heart. "She is growing up so fast… so beautiful. In a few years, she'll be of age." He took in a breath and let it out slowly. "Twenty years of careful courting will hopefully reap centuries of rewards."

"You… you cannot be serious!" Feldor gasped under his breath.

"Not entirely, but it has crossed my mind the older she gets. What are my other options if I want to pursue romance? No other lady elf in all of middle earth will ever think more of me than Lien."

"It is wholly unsavory that you would even entertain such a notion. Haldir would never…" Feldor started but dropped his thought when their mentor turned his horse to approach them.

"Is there now conflict between the two of you?" Haldir asked, clearly still irritated with his son.

"He is merely displeased with my distraction," Lamer said. "If I cause us to linger any longer, we will be late."

Given the scandal Feldor suspected it would bring, he agreed and for now kept quiet about his brother's intentions.

They galloped quickly to make up lost time, but once riding more leisurely, Feldor tried to engage Haldir regarding the meeting ahead. Oddly, his mentor seemed to favor Lamer in conversation, ignoring Feldor's attempts for attention to his insecurities. Further unnerved now by growing jealousy, Feldor remembered a strategy he had been taught to refocus someone he meant to win to himself. Motivation Discernment.

Just because Haldir had taught him the lesson, didn't mean it could not be used on him, so thinking about his mentor, Feldor attempted to understand why his proposals for discussion were being ignored. It was so simple he nearly laughed when he reached the conclusion.

The Emissary was impressed with him as an apprentice, or else they would not be on their way to Rohan, but Haldir's heart belonged to his young, and they preferred his brother. He might win some regard with a few well placed compliments on either of the twins, but to what end?

As he watched them warmly exchange thoughts on employing empathy in the art of acting, Feldor calmly accepted his secondary station in Haldir's regard. Competing for a more prominent position by misrepresenting his own focus felt false. It may be necessary in negotiations, but Feldor could not bring himself to use it as a methodology for relationships. Was that not the very problem he had with Lamer's ulterior motives with Lien?

"I will scout ahead," he offered and was released to set out on his own. When he returned his own focus had been returned and he gave the report excitedly.

"The men of the mark are camped around the Inn, just as we were told they would be. I see no sign of Rúmil or Dari. I made several bird calls and heard nothing in return."

"If my advice is sought, we should enter now," Haldir said. Then, more to Lamer he added, "It is always best to engage men in formal exchanges before the ale sets in, with friendship while it does its work, and to be gone long before it makes its painful mark in the morning."

Lamer smiled, but opined, "Now that we are entering into their midst, I am beginning to wish I had done some study on the language. What if something goes wrong, Lord Haldir? How will I know?"

"You will not leave my side," Haldir warned him. "That is how you will know." As their horses slowly walked around the first camp he added, "Feldor has made friends with two families here, that does not mean there are no others who have prejudice and might invent reasons to disrupt his negotiations."

"They are not negotiations," Feldor challenged. "It is a friendly exchange affirming our loyalties." When Haldir raised his brows, he said, "Forgive my correction, M'Lord, but the letter I left for Eomund established these interactions as social. If they sense formality they may perceive ulterior motives and discern us as false."

"Very well done," Haldir expressed with sincerity. "I thought for certain you would be too nervous to pick up on such a nuance."

Uneasily Feldor said, "Is your presence here more about evaluation or support?"

"Support, of course," Haldir said. "And if you ask it of me, I am happy to take the role of your servant, from here on until we leave this place for home."

Upon hearing it, Feldor's heart welled with affection. "I welcome the gesture, if you will speak to me as my adviser instead of lord?"

"Agreed. I am just Haldir, now, and you are m'lord Feldor," he said and placed a hand over his heart. To Lamer he said, "As your mentor I direct you to do the same, no arguments, this is your brother's day."

Suddenly a boy approached the three, at first addressing Haldir, but his lord looked at Feldor as a good charge would do.

"I am Lord Feldor from Lothlorien," he spoke in the common tongue. "And these two are Haldir and Lamer. I come by invitation of the Lord and Lady of this Inn to speak with Chief Marshall Eomund of Eastfold."

The boy ran off to retrieve a few men and Feldor dismounted before they arrived. After he had greeted them and made pleasant exchanges, their horses were led to the stables and they inside the Inn. Haldir had been wrong; the drinking had already begun.

"My elf brother!" Eomund called out, well inebriated with rosy cheeks and glossy eyes. His tight embrace was a good sign and Feldor returned with equal strength, introducing his companions as being there to observe, but shy to engage.

It was well into the night before any of the men began to wander off to sleeping quarters and camps. While they had discussed battles, hunts, horses and looming threats to the land, it wasn't until the Inn bar was mostly empty that Feldor found a quiet moment where his friend spoke more on personal matters.

"My weakness is my little girl," Eomund confessed close to a tear. "Eowyn, her mother named her, after me just like my son." He shook his head, tilting his mug toward him without taking a drink. "Eomer will be a warrior worthy of our house. A good man, noble and wise; I have no worries for him, despite the trouble he gives his mother. But somehow it undoes me to think of my daughter's future." With a warm outreach of solidarity he said, "I suppose it is the same for elves; every father both wants to protect his daughter forever and see her loved by a worthy husband."

Feldor glanced over at Lamer and Haldir and wondered if perhaps their mentor had already considered the matter.

"I have no children of my own, but you are right," Feldor said. He looked back on Eomund and said, "We are not that different, elves and men, not on the things that matter."

Eomund went on to speak of his wife and the longer he spoke, the more slurred his speech became until he got up and said, "I am drunk and you are too polite. Good night, my friend. If you leave in the morning before I regain consciousness…"

Feldor did not understand the rest, but he nodded, assuming the man would never remember what he had said anyway.

…

"You two still up?" Erindwyn asked, coming down the stairs to the main room at dawn. Already two other young women had entered the front and headed for the kitchen, but she was the first to speak to the elves.

Feldor smiled at her from the cold hearth where he sat with his mentor and said, "I could ask why you are up already! The sun is lazy compared to the women of Rohan!" Haldir had his back to her and kept quiet, wearing a smirk.

"The sun does not have forty mouths to feed," she commented jovially. She entered their space and curiously pointed at Lamer who was sleeping, curled up on the bench with his head on Haldir's lap. "I could have put him up in a cot," she said. "It would have been free of charge, if that was why you did not ask."

"We are well warmed by your hospitality, but it was not the cost, M'Lady as much as the proximity. My brother does not speak your language and would not have been comfortable away from us."

"I am still not used to you calling me 'Lady'," she said. With a gesture to Haldir, she asked, "It's your mentor's doing, isn't it? Giving you airs of formality among us?" Feldor grinned with a nod, and she added, "Don't worry, I won't tell anybody you have a babysitter with you." She winked at him and on her way to the kitchen she said, "I hope we'll see you more now that you've multiplied your friends here." Just before she entered the door she added. "Next you'll be invited down to Edoras to meet the king."

A wave of excitement flooded over him, but as soon as the door shut, Haldir said, "Do not even entertain it in your mind!" Before he could ask why, Haldir said, "I mean it, Feldor. I have given you great leeway here, but exchanging stories with riders over ale is quite different than hailing a king in a great hall. Any of our kind must be sent by an equal Lord or King with good reason to seek an audience."

Haldir continued to explain the boundaries of friendships between men and elves until behind Feldor, the door to the Inn opened, letting in the dim light of morning. His mentor paused mid-sentence and glanced up briefly at first and then took a second look. His face flushed and his hands dropped to the head of the elf on his lap, gently laying it down on the bench as he stood.

Feldor wrenched his neck to turn to see what had captured Haldir's attention and found his own breath caught.

Rúmil walked through, his eyes locked on his brother and behind him Darimaetha stepped, still dressed as a male, but with hair long and lovely.

"I thought I had grown beyond being moved to emotion by a reunion so old," Haldir said and reached his hands out to his brother's shoulders. "Did you miss me at all?" Rúmil's nod was almost undetectable, but Haldir let out a satisfied laugh and embraced him.

Feldor stood and watched Darimaetha's hesitant reaction to them.

"It's good to see you," he said, almost as a question.

"You as well," she said, rather too formally.

"Dari?" Lamer's voice raised from behind. "You're here!" He came right up to her, butting in front of Feldor, ready to embrace her. She stepped backwards and glanced down, unreceptive. "What's wrong?" Lamer asked, and then he looked at Rúmil.

The elder had been released by his brother and gave his apprentice an inquiring look, to which she said, "It has only been ten years."

"Only!" Lamer argued. "That is half as long as we have known you!"

Rúmil had a concerned expression, but before anything more could be said, a sound from behind of footfalls came running down the stairs.

They all turned to see one of Erindwyn's young assistants fastening her apron as she scurried to her duties in the kitchen. She must have been so intent on her tardiness that she did not see them at first, for when she did, half way through the room, she startled and let out a yelp.

As she eyed them with wonder and fear, Feldor stepped forward and reassured, "We elves are here by friendly invitation, m'lady, this is not an invasion."

She stared up at him, and pushed a stray piece of hair from her face. "Feldor?" she asked. When he nodded, she smiled and he at once recognized her as Erindwyn's daughter, Gwen. "I thought I had missed you!" she exclaimed. "My father makes me go to bed early when the riders begin their drinking… It has been so long… mother promised I would someday see you again… I was on errand when you left the letter last time you visited."

She continued to speak, keeping Feldor from resolving the uncertainty behind him. Even though Gwen was just a child and he could have sent her away by the custom of men, her enthusiastic response to him caught Feldor by pleasant surprise and he could not bring himself to shut down her joyous, yet inappropriate rambling.

"How long will you stay, will you have breakfast at least? I may have time to show you my horse. Did you bring your Sully?" Her questions were finally followed with quiet batting eyelashes and hopefulness that momentarily confused his ability to answer. She tilted her head, vaguely disappointed by his silence and before he had time to consider a wise answer, he felt need to bring cheer back to her face.

"If I have a spare moment, it will belong to you," he said.

A clear thrill ran over her just as the kitchen door opened with her mother's prodding. "Gwen! These hotcakes will not flip themselves."

The young girl ran toward her mother, informing her of his consent as she disappeared into the kitchen. Before Erindwyn closed the door she gave him a look of exasperation and he at once understood his error. "I will give her a break," she conceded. "But next time, talk to me before you make promises!"

"And me as well," Haldir warned. When Feldor met his eyes, his mentor said, "Now that Rúmil and Darimaetha are here, we should leave promptly."

"I thought we would give Sully a chance to see the mares after breakfast." When Haldir took in a breath to respond, Feldor added quickly, "I also thought I was in charge."

Rúmil glanced with interest at them and Haldir said softly, "As your adviser, I point out that prolonging our visit here is not only unnecessary but unwise, for it may improperly raise the hopes of a girl who has clearly fixed her affections on you."

Feldor felt the eyes of his brother on him and they exchanged a knowing look. As much as he wanted to keep his word and make time for Gwen, Feldor decided he had better model the correct behavior for his younger brother and nodded to his mentor. He was about to give his regrets when Lamer pulled the most impish trick on him and supported his gaff.

"How could it hurt to bring a young child some joy with attention?" he said to Feldor. "You know that I have the most to gain from leaving early, but I will spare half a day for my brother to nurture another friendship with a young girl, as he has quite healthily developed with Erindwyn, her mother," he said.

It was a brilliant argument and Haldir crossed his arms, obviously assessing it.

With all of his youthful charm Lamer impressed to the others, "Can you not smell what cooks on the griddle? Imagine, the flavor of maple syrup on your tongue!" He gestured to Dari and said, "It looks as though Lord Rúmil has not fed my poor friend a proper bite since Rivendell!"

While Lamer went on and Feldor wrestled with indecision, Rúmil broke in, "I will champion your cause if you will stop hounding us like a hungry hobbit."

Lamer laughed at the jest and glanced back at Feldor. "I missed his grump most of all," he said and then warmly directed to Rúmil, "You are never more humorous than when annoyed with me." He then headed for the door and said, "To make better time, I will go now to walk Sully about the mares, if m'Lord Feldor approves?"

"Go ahead," Feldor said. "Ask him to pick a very young one. We want several foals from the match."

"What is this?" Dari asked, more of Haldir than Feldor. "Sully is being used as breeding horse?"

"Go ask him yourself, if you like," Haldir suggested. "Your friend did not seem to have a problem as far as I could tell."

"I only question our profiting from it," she said, still not giving Feldor any credit for the decision..

"You will have to ask Feldor about that," Haldir said and then directed his brother to the hearth to speak alone.

When she turned to him he said, "My only profit here is friendship. Sully is the one who expressed interest on our last visit and the Rohirrim have always been impressed with his stock. I am an unpaid a match-maker, I assure you." He was about to try and catch up with Lamer so he could point out how the situations between Lien and Gwen were vastly different when Dari reached out and grabbed his wrist.

He stopped, surprised both by the contact and how warm her hand was from what he remembered. She let go almost immediately upon his stunned reaction.

"Did you receive my letter?" she asked in a hurt whisper; as well she should be for his negligence.

"I meant so many times to write you back, Dari," Feldor said with regret, "But in my attempt to pen the perfect response, I always missed the courier. A short note by dove never seemed enough to match the emotion in your words. And then you wrote you were returning..." She did not relax, studying his face for a reaction. "Of course you are forgiven," he insisted. "For anything and everything, though I hardly saw the need for you to ask." She looked down and he added, "Did you doubt it at all? I thought you would know my heart after so much time together."

"I know it enough to guess you would say that," she said. "I merely longed to read it. I spent so much time at odds with everyone; thinking of my own pain. I only want to repair what damage I did."

"There is no damage to me that I know," he said and then added with trepidation, "Save for the chasm left by your absence."

By her response he was unsure she understood, for she merely glanced at Rúmil and Haldir and then gestured for him to follow her to an empty booth across the room. When they sat, out the window they saw Lamer was walking without a lead on Sully, through the main gate.

"That wild beast is so tame now," she said with a chuckle. "I think it did him good to be without me. Like everyone else, he did not know how to help me."

Softly Feldor tested her focus and said, "Lord Rúmil knew."

To his delight, she abruptly changed the subject. "I didn't mention it in the letter, but helping you through your physical healing gave me hope for my own. At first I was afraid to face the pain, but I remembered you were so brave and strong. Once I confessed, though, it was out of me like a spear, and will only been a matter of time before the scar is gone."

Dari had flattered him more lavishly in the past for playing, but the sincerity of her compliments felt awkward and Feldor picked up a cork that was lying on the table between them. He wondered if he should say something in kind or merely thank her, but then remembered her lesson that fidgeting was not as attractive as directness.

Decisively, he put down the distraction and looked up to confess his hopes, only, she was not waiting for his response; her gaze… her focus, was on Rúmil.

With dread, Feldor sought another method of confirmation to validate his suspicion.

"It must have been difficult spending so much time alone with such a bitter elf," he prodded.

"Yes," she said sweetly and then jested, "Just horrible!" Her eyes twinkled as she went on to tell him of how Rúmil completed her hand to hand training in Rivendell with Elrond's sons as her victims and how he had convinced Glorfindel to join her in sword play. Her mentor had pushed her so hard to achieve the highest levels of his expectations that she had not had time for a single proper lesson from Arwen on the elven graces and arts.

Aching with disappointment, Feldor was unable to contribute to the conversation. Even when she posed direct questions, he answered with a few words and went quiet. It wasn't long before men started to filter into the Inn and breakfast was served. Lamer returned horseless and as they ate he explained that he was unable to communicate to the mare's owner why Sully lingered near her.

"I should probably go speak to him," Feldor said with a chuckle. "Lest poor Sully become too aggressive and undo what good grace I have garnered."

He was just standing when Gwen came to their table. "I have time now," she said. "My mother bade me not to leave the Inn, so we can not go to the barn to show you my horse, but I can tell you about her, if you like."

Unable to understand the girl, Lamer said in Sindarin, "She grew up surprisingly lovely." To Dari he asked, "Do you remember how snotty her nose when we first visited?"

Gwen looked at him and cooed in Westron, "Elvish is so beautiful! I wish I could speak it."

"What did she say?" Lamer asked with a grin.

Cheekily Feldor answered in Sindarin, "She said baby elves are adorable and asked how often I have to change your diaper."

"She did not!" Lamer argued with a laugh and got up. He put his hand out to Dari and she begrudgingly took it. "We will leave you two lovebirds alone. Don't break her heart; girls are much easier to woo than their lady elf counterparts."

His wink at Dari was obnoxious, but he saw she thought so too, so Feldor let it go.

The girl took her seat, monopolizing the dull conversation and for the first time Feldor realized how it must have been for the lady elves in Lothlorien when he had tried to engage them. From his memory, it was not difficult to accept that an unequal conversation might still be enjoyable for her; she did not need to be entertained by him, he just needed to listen.

"I can tell you love your horse very much," he said as soon as she took a breath. Gwen went on again about her mare, and when she gave him another moment he said, "You must have wanted a horse for a long time." Again she went on and on until their table was approached by her father.

"Gwen…" he said. "Your mother is looking for you…" She got up and quickly said her final goodbye, not forlorn over his leaving at all. Once she was gone her father turned to him and said, "It almost makes me sorry I bought her that mare, the way she never stops talking about it. It was good of you to indulge her. I suppose we won't see you for another year or two, my friend?"

"I was going to come back sooner for Sully," Feldor said as he stood. "He will only pair once, so I am sure he will want to see his mare as often as he can during her life."

"Seems a blessing and a curse," the man said, walking with Feldor outside. "It is the same with elves, from what I understand? You live long, but love only once?"

"Not all love is pairing," Feldor said. He gazed upon the elves waiting for him and despite his disappointment with Dari, he was filled with realization. "Marriage may be sweet, but our friendships run deep enough that contentment can be found when we devote ourselves to brotherly kinship."

With a strong hand on Feldor's shoulder, the man gave a nod and said, "I am a blessed man to have such a friend. I have grown up prejudice against elves as thinking themselves too good for us. I am glad to be wrong. May the kindness that Erindwyn showed you be a seed that aligns our peoples."

As much as he wanted to, Feldor could not raise expectations, and so he said, "If that is to be, I would rejoice with you. I am but one elf of many and I will do what I can to stay true to my friendship, but cannot speak for my people."

"You look as young as my son, Feldor, but are as wise as my father right before he died," he said. "I suppose your father is twice as wise as you?"

A bit of emotion found its way into his heart and all Feldor could do was nod for he felt he did not even know his father before they left; not really.

**Part 2 ~Dari**

The five elves had three horses; they could have ridden two on each of the sentient stallions and been home that night, but the elders preferred taking their time to stroll in conversation behind the younger elves.

It was clear to Darimaetha that Haldir had done most of the missing between the brothers, and that Rúmil bore the enthusiasm with uneasiness. At times she would glance back and see the stress in her mentor's eyes until he would catch her smile of amusement and he would remember to relax in the humor of it.

"Dari, what do you think of Feldor's attention to Gwen?" Lamer asked softly.

"Answer truthfully," Feldor instructed coming to her side as if to speak secretively.

Hesitant, she said, "I am not keen to answer without knowing more on the circumstances."

"Do you think sixteen is old enough for courting?" Lamer asked.

Dari looked at Feldor with shock and he said, "I am not courting her!" He glared at his brother, and then whispered, "It is a question of principle… would it be wrong to win her affections while she is vulnerable and gain an advantage over other elves?"

Thinking herself wise to their obvious flirting, she asked, "You mean, as Lord Rúmil won my affections, before either of you stood a chance?"

Lamer laughed at her but Felder pressed on. "For the sake of illustration, yes. Do you believe there is any harm in winning someone you plan to court before they know that is your ultimate intention? Is it not more fair to speak your mind when first the notion enters?"

"That is not the same thing," Lamer challenged.

"It is close enough, let her answer," Feldor said.

Dari stopped walking, feeling hurt by the question on many levels. The two of them stood by her, patient for her answer.

"It is not the courtship that would hurt," she explained, "But what you plan to do if she does not choose you." They were completely confused, so she went on. "Do you abandon the friendship when it turns out not to be what you wanted?" Again they looked at one another, and so she brought forward her own illustration.

"During my sister's courtship to Haldir she also befriended Legolas. She thought their friendship was dear, but his attention was motivated by courtship."

Haldir had stopped talking and both elders were listening to her lecture her friends as they caught up to them.

"While missing Haldir was painful, she at least had his love letters. Legolas, however, did not reply to any of the twenty some communications she wrote."

"But why did she write him if she did not choose him?" Lamer asked innocently.

"Friendship!" she said. "You both have seen that Haldir is close to Murial? That is despite how she once broke his heart. Over fifty years, Legolas could not be bothered to put quill to parchment and acknowledge Elienne."

Haldir and Rúmil were standing with them now and Dari felt her throat tight with the emotion, and shame for having sprung so many secrets. She glanced at her sister's husband who studying her. Quickly she clarified to him, "She forgave him and when he renewed the friendship after the twins were born, she asked me to as well..."

"I am so sorry I did not respond to your apology," Feldor said. "I beg you again, forgive me… I never abandoned our friendship, not in my heart…I promise you."

His grief was more than she could bear, and she looked to her mentor for rescue.

"This is not just your doing, Feldor," Rumil said. "Neither Legolas nor her parents responded. Only Elienne and two friends from Darkwood. It has not been an easy two years since the courier returned."

"Then that is why you returned early?" Haldir said. "New wounds on top of the old? I am so sorry, Dari…"

"Getting the response you want is not supposed to be the point of apologies," she said quickly and wiped a hot tear from her face. It was her father's silence that hurt her most, yet she turned on he who was before her and unleashed. "If you have extended a friendship, Feldor, it should be for interest in the person herself, not for the type relationship you want to have with her. A pretentious elf whose love is conditional on only one acceptable conclusions is not worthy of even a friendship, let alone a bonding."

Feldor's mouth dropped open in shock at her accusation and Lamer also looked devastated by her display, taking a few steps backward and turning away.

"Dari," Rúmil said softly. "You know where this leads if you do not reel in your words."

But it was not his brokenness that woke her from her return to cruelty. The horse who had once been her closest companion came to Feldor's side, anxious and whinnying. Feldor put his hand up to Sully's neck, his eyes still on Dari as the horse stomped his foot.

Even Sully knew she was wrong! Feldor could never be so cunning. His affections were naive, but they were sincere. She was about to try to speak when Haldir turned his head suddenly and ran up the hill behind them. Sully grew ever more anxious, rearing up in alarm. Feldor came out of his stupor.

"What is it?" he asked the horse as he followed his mentor.

By the time Dari reached the others, Feldor was on Sully, clearly _his_ horse now, and riding into the darkness where on the horizon a black cloud was rising.

"Feldor!" Haldir called, taking a step. He then ran for Sullendry and jumped on him, the two of them riding off after his charge.

Before Rúmil or Dari could react, Lamer was on his horse, leaving them behind.

"What is happening, is that a fire?" Dari asked.

"The Orcs are known to steal horses left unprotected," he answered. "If the men of the Mark had plans to ride east this evening... that is likely the Inn." He turned to her seriously and said, "Feldor has a bond with the family there, but they are not our friends. We need not risk our lives."

"But Feldor is our friend!" she said. She looked to where Lamer's horse ran in the distance and said, "They may need our support."

"On foot we would only arrive after the battle was done. But it is your decision," Rúmil said. "My duty is to you."

"If I was not here," she demanded, "Would you go after Haldir?" When he nodded she took a breath and the two of them ran at their fastest.

**Part 3 ~ Lamer**

There was no thought to Lamer's decision; he had to follow his brother and Haldir; his heart would permit nothing else. Feldor, as usual, had been right in his judgment regarding Liendriel. Had Lamer not seen first-hand the sorrow caused in Dari by such a small slight as not writing her, he never would have believed his own ulterior motives might even be noticed if he abandoned his pursuit.

But as he rode on, falling ever farther behind, the truth of it occurred to him that he did care for the twins, and as they grew they became more as friends than little admirers of his. It might not have been a total catastrophe to grow as their brother, except for that Feldor knew and could not likely be persuaded to keep silent. Admission to Haldir was the only solution and it made Lamer sick with dread.

Upon sight of the flaming wall that surrounded the Inn Lamer saw his brother and Haldir had taken out their bows and were striking down orcs who were managing to evade the men defending their homestead. The pitiful screams Lamer heard from inside the burning gates, convinced him; they were too late.

Feldor did not slow down and Haldir's attention quickly turned to him, riding in front of him just in time to prevent him from entering.

"Stay clear of the fire!" he warned as Lamer caught up to them. "We will do what we can for those who escaped."

"Erindwyn is in there!" Feldor shouted at Haldir, kicking for Sully to move. The horse hesitated for fear of flame or father, just long enough for the screams to subside. With tears in his eyes, Haldir shook his head.

Looking at the sight, Lamer felt his brother's loss as his own. Such grief it was to witness a tragedy instead of merely read on it. Feldor took out his sword and seeing an orc running out of the gate, chased after him. As Lamer looked for another, a piece of the wall fell and beyond it he saw a figure on the ground by the burning barn. Haldir was speaking with the men making plans to retrieve the horses and did not see her.

Lamer's horse was brave and loyal and it did not take much coaxing to encourage him to run toward the gate and jump through the flames. He landed easily and when beside the girl he jumped off his horse. This much closer to the burning Inn he felt the heat scorching, with bright flames all about on every side and his horse beginning to panic, he wondered if they would be able to get out now.

He knelt to pick her up and she struggled, coughing and crying something. He knew only one Roirrim word, "Eo" for horse. It was part of many names of their people and he looked up to the barn and heard inside it a creature was screeching in fear and pain. Leaving her by her own bidding, Lamer ran to the doors and tried to unhitch them. He burnt his hand on the hot metal and yelled in pain, but then took out his sword with his other hand and hit the handle, opening the door.

Two horses escaped, nearly trampling the girl who had tried to save them. He ran to her and noticed his horse had fled with the others. Picking her up, he still did not know how to leave this inferno. Through the flames he saw his mentor and he cried, "Haldir!"

The look on his face was of such horror and indignation that Lamer could only lift the fragile child as his excuse. He watched Haldir climb on Sullendry and ride back and around before they ran forward and leaped through the whipping waves of light. Immediately upon landing he dismounted and took the girl.

"Climb on," he ordered and then put the child back in Lamer's arms. "Sullendry, it is time to show your glory..." Haldir said.

Gripping her tightly, Lamer could barely hold on to the girl and the horse, all the while fearful for Haldir.

On the other side, Sullendry reared up and the two of them fell off of him. The horse looked to be ready to reenter the danger when through the flames ran a figure, lit like a torch, but then tumbling and snuffed out. Lamer held his breath until he saw Haldir gaze up at him.

"Look out!" Haldir shouted.

Lamer turned to see a figure coming out of the smoke around them; black and foul smelling. It spoke something to him and Lamer stood and lifted his sword over whom he could now see was Gwen. The worst of the slice went down his blade, but the Orc had the advantage of size and strength, and a searing pain ran its way across his neck and down his chest. At first he continued to fight, striking upward and knocking the orc on his back.

A man had come seconds after the foul beast struck and pierced him through.

Safe again, Lamer felt he could catch his breath, but when he tried to draw it in, he felt nothing go into his lungs. He put his hand up to where his injury stung the most and felt wet warmth. Dizzy, he fell back down to his knees and looked up toward Haldir, trying to call out again.

As his mentor ran toward him, Lamer fell forward and felt himself turned around. He looked up as his lord's anguished face began to fade.

Just before he lost all sight, he saw his brother behind Haldir, calling out words Lamer could not hear. Haldir made room and Lamer lifted his hand, trying to calm Feldor down, but only managed to wipe his own blood on Feldor's pale face.

It then occurred to him, he was dying. This was death! And he would never see twins again.

**Part 4 ~ Haldir**

The embers of the Inn still smoked when dawn's gray light peered over the Eastern plain. Men huddled, mumbling in small somber gatherings, their eyes glancing every so often to the elf friend of the fallen family.

Feldor had taken the blow of witnessing death as bravely as he had the spear to his side. Swiftly, even before Haldir had accepted the death as irreversible, Feldor had turned from his own grief to those who had lost more than a brother; to the one who had lost everything.

And there he stood now, readying Gwen on horseback for her journey with Eomund.

"I will find you and visit," Feldor said to her. "I must see to the grief of my family and my own heart, but I will come to you within the year." She broke her trans like stare with only a blink and the young elf bowed his head, placing his hand on her knee.

Her hand slipped from the reigns to his and held it.

Beside Haldir Eomund had approached and asked, "Will you take your dead with you?"

In his grief, the tradition of men had not occurred to him and Haldir pulled his focus from Feldor to where Lamer's corpse lay, covered with Haldir's burnt cape. Before he answered, he glanced at his own brother who was standing with the horses and Dari. Rúmil was alert to his attention, ready for direction.

"I cannot burden my company to lift and carry his abandoned remains," Haldir said and meeting Eomund's eyes he explained. "To us our friend is gone; his spirit left in the moment of his passing. Our tradition would be to allow the earth to take his body where he left it. If that is troublesome to you, I give my permission to dispose of the body as you might a man with no fortune. We take no offense to your traditions."

"Then the brother of my friend will receive an honorable burial," the man answered.

When Feldor turned to them he attempted to speak but choked and Eomund rescued his effort. "I have no words for your loss. You knew your brother longer than I have been alive and should have had centuries more time with him."

"Gwen…" Feldor started. "She has brothers… her father's sons by an other marriage."

"Yes, there is only one alive still, he came forth last night," Eomund said. "He said he does not know her but would support her if he had means, which he does not."

"I have nothing to offer now," Feldor said, "But I will earn and bring you gold if you will promise me to see to her welfare."

Haldir closed his eyes at the insulting assertion, but was relieved it was taken in stride.

"If we allowed our orphans and widows to be abandoned to poverty, what man would serve in the protection of his land?" Eomund asked. "But so to relieve your worry on who might take her in, I pledge to bring her to my family in Auldburg. And I fully expect to see you at my door within the year as you promised her."

Haldir watched as the signs of hope welled up with tears in Feldor's eyes. He nodded in agreement and the exchange between the two was beyond that of friendship and felt a connection of chosen brotherhood. It would be Haldir's task to see done, but he Haldir could not fault his charge for seeking the comfort of such an oath.

As Feldor returned to Gwen to explain to her what would happen, Haldir was approached by Rúmil. "How do you want to ride?"

"I would say differently were not sorrow so close," Haldir answered, "But Feldor will need a rider with him for the journey. I would take him myself except…" Unable to finish for fear of grief taking his strength, Rúmil took the lead when Feldor came to them.

"Lamer's horse will ride alone. I will be on Sullendry with Haldir, Maethriel, you take Feldor on Sully."

…

As they entered, Rúmil behind him asked, "Have you a plan?"

"The elders will understand upon seeing Lamer's riderless horse and relieve us of explanation to any who show confusion. Before I console myself with Elienne I will need to explain and give comfort to my young." Haldir grew dizzy and felt his brother's hand grip his arm to steady him. Sullendry slowed his trotting to a stroll and Dari, glancing over in awareness, slowed Sully as well. Behind her Feldor was despondent in thought.

"Allow me," Rúmil said. "They will be in good spirits to see me and will listen. Be there for them, but let me tell of what happened and what it means." Haldir was about to protest when Rúmil insisted, "Show them by example that it is not weakness to take time to mourn. Do not model false strength, it will burden them more than the death itself."

Haldir agreed to the wise counsel but as the events unfolded, he felt as though he communicating from behind a veil. Embraces from kin and friends felt as distant as if given to him in his full set of armor. He submitted without protest when Orophin usurped his rounds as guard and Feldor took to answering all inquiries on circumstances surrounding the attack. At night he held Elienne as she wept and though weeping with her, felt it more as duty than outpouring.

Worse was that he knew on some level his daughter did not understand the meaning of Rúmil's explanation and he was at a loss to elaborate.

"Lamer will not be returning home," Rumil had said simply. "He took his final breath after giving his life for a girl of your age, Lien. We will see him when we pass over to the West once he takes his form again, but not until then."

It had been so gentle, almost too much so.

"He will not return home," Haldir repeated months later. Staring out over the balcony of their home's roof he tried to let it sink in. "He will not return."

"In a way, that was false," Elienne said. He glanced at his wife, no longer in mourning in her light rose lace gown. "He _is_ home," she offered. "It is we who have yet to join him."

Haldir felt little comfort in the perspective, but gave her a nod for her attempt and looked away.

After a moment, she probed him again. "There is going to be a play," she said. Haldir shook his head, knowing what she would ask. "Haldor is convinced Lamer would have wanted them to perform it, so the twins have been practicing with Legolas."

"I cannot," he said softly. So lost in sorrow he did not feel her withdraw and when he turned to explain more clearly he found he was on an empty flet. When at last he meant to descend to duty he saw Rúmil stood at the bottom of the ladder. His brother did not even need to speak, the look in his eyes, the memory of all the times Haldir had pushed and urged him toward healing, for the sake of Orophin, for the memory of his mother, for the hope of joy.

Haldir retreated and when his brother reached the top of the ladder Haldir asked, "You would tell me to move beyond this error?"

"Though I have yet to complete my healing, I have followed your advice in my momentum forward," Rúmil answered. "It is good counsel."

"And attending a play will help?" he asked.

"Possibly," Rumil said. "I have been privy to spots of rehearsal. It is difficult to remain glum while watching them. Being more skilled at it than anyone, I should know." When Haldir tensed, Rumil added, "It would do them well for your young to see you smile again."

Haldir took in a breath thinking of all the elves that would be in attendance; many had come from the Woodlands to see Feldor and he had heard of a few visiting from Darkwood as well.

"When is it?" he asked.

"Tomorrow," Rúmil answered. "I could inform your twins if their excitement over the news will overwhelm you."

"Have I become so fragile?" he whispered. His brother approached, stronger than he had ever appeared and it seemed a bit taller as well.

"Rather your endurance has been stretched. You will spring forth a greater warrior and a tree of valor with wider, stronger arms within which our house will be more securely held, as it has been for centuries."

"Under the load of so much to carry. I feel I may break at any moment."

"Such is it when you open your heart to love so many… especially as deeply as you insist on loving."

Rúmil paused as if considering his words.

Haldir craved his thoughts and said, "If there is something you have to say, say it. You've already broken the top soil, you might as well plow right in."

"Lamer died imitating you. Never let that rest upon you as a fault. He came to us a hollow elfling, not aspiring to more than his next meal. You took him on and he sponged your nature into his being without even realizing it. He died a hero, without regrets; all of us should be so blessed."

"But he did die," Haldir said, milking the rare lavished encouragement. "And so young."

"I should not have to tell you what is worse than dying," Rúmil started. "Losing a brother and having to feign strength? If it was not for me insisting Maethriel extend tolerance to his need, Feldor would be nursing this gouge in his heart on his own."

The truth pricked an old scar and upon realizing he had more in common with his father in this situation than Feldor, Haldir bemoaned, "I have been terribly negligent… abandoning Feldor. And he has been poised beyond comprehension."

"Because he, as his brother, imitates his mentor!" Rumil said. "He is not alone, but he needs your guidance again. I only speak now because my apprentice is all but worn by his constant presence."

"How does she fair?" Haldir asked.

"The worst is her struggle to hold on to healing. If I may shift our conversation to my attentions, I fear I may have misdirected her unwisely regarding her apology letters. It never occurred to me she would receive such a poor response, or tether her heart to the expectation."

"Legolas is here, has he not responded in person at least?" Haldir asked. Rúmil shook his head and Haldir said, "He should be set straight!"

"Maethriel has forbidden me to engage him on it, but however grave his error, it is not as egregious as King Bronian's."

"Galadir came with a letter from him for you… did he not also pen one to his own daughter?"

"It was within my letter; Galadir took license to read them before delivery because after their mother passed, their father fell into despair. The letter he sent was to both his daughters and full of cruel blame. I dare not risk their eyes on it."

"What was his word to you?" Haldir asked, astonished at his brother's unaffectedness.

"A scathing rant, barely legible; it drew more pity from me than scorn. Thankfully Galadir has built a marvelous case for the dangers surrounding Darkwood to keep anyone from visiting… or returning."

"Is it lore or in earnest?" he asked warily.

Rúmil glanced to the side, selecting words carefully. "In quiet exchanges he confessed to me that while their father was incompetent when sane, madness has left him utterly unfit. Most that did not stop here to see Elienne and Dari have left for the West. All others have submitted themselves to fate and are not suspected to live out the year… many have already fallen to Mordor."

The gutting Haldir felt for his wife's kin brought back an aching gravity to the sharp sting of death.

"Elienne knows nothing of this?" he asked, breathless.

"It was not mine to share with her."

With renewed determination Haldir stood tall and said, "No more will I remain indisposed. I need to be that tree of which you spoke. Lamer is gone, others may leave; and until we all go, we need each other here and now."

Rarely did he see an elven glow coming from Rúmil, but tonight his countenance glowed as the moon. "Thank you," Haldir said. "A better brother no elf could have."

Below a whisper Rúmil answered, "I beg to differ."


	18. A New Season

**Part 1 ~ Darimaetha**

As laughter flittered over the crowd reclining and standing on the edge of the field, Dari felt a presence approach behind where she and Feldor stood.

"I pictured you more as a poet than comedienne," Galadir whispered on a return trip to the refreshment baskets. It was meant as a passing compliment, but she could not help but engage the dear elder visiting from Darkwood.

"The dialogue is from words actually spoken," she countered. "It is the rendition that brings the humor." He hesitated enough to encourage her to continue. "My mentor was very specific that I keep to the confines of narrative history…"

"Shhh!" Lienedriel called up over to her with a teasing warn. Touching her arm with affection, Galadir excused himself from Dari, leaving to where his daughters sat on the grass with Haldir, Elienne and Muriel. All in the audience had glanced in Dari's direction, bringing a blush to her cheeks.

She put a finger on her lips as an apology to her niece and Feldor chuckled, having earlier been targeted by the young actress's uninhibited interactions with her audience. Lien turned back to her brother, who, playing Rúmil, gave an impromptu grumble.

Legolas was playing himself and apparently the twins had played a prank on him, deciding not to practice the punch lines. During the performance he was caught laughing and losing character many times, intensifying the enjoyment for the audience at his expense. He had also glanced several times at Dari, increasing her discomfort for the use of her journal for their script. She had not included everything in her retelling and supposed he was silently commenting on her edits.

To her distress, in all his time with them, Legolas had not approached her regarding her letter as she hoped. He was strangely silent upon their first encounter and continuously cool in all contact thereafter.

She would have approached him alone, but few were the moments when one or both of the twins were not attached to him and Feldor's constant need for her company in his mourning was not only taxing, it served to keep her occupied as well. After the play she determined, however uncomfortable, to directly request a more in depth conversation with the prince, exerting her own effort against the estrangement.

Though she knew it was coming, Legolas backward flip off of Sully took Dari's breath away, nearly as much as it had when he dismounted the spider. At the end of the witty exchange, Haldor turned to address the audience. His cocky rendition of Rúmil's peacock mock was so spot on that Dari could not help but burst into laughter while beside her Feldor was even clapping.

"Wait just a moment!" Legolas called out with confused amusement for all to hear. He held off until the joviality calmed before asking Haldor with a grin, "What did you call me?"

"A…" Haldor started and then took Rúmil's posture again and announced to all once more. "…strutting peacock!"

Lien was instantly at the prince's side smiling at his mock indignation. Legolas gave a warning glare to her brother and said, "I did not know we were improvising."

In slight embarrassment Haldor defended, "It was written, just as the others we left out." To Haldir's dubious doubt Haldor repeated earnestly, "It was! I would not dare put words into Uncle Rúmil's mouth or add to Aunt Dari's journal. Not even for a joke as good as that one."

Legolas was having nothing of it. "I am sure I would have remembered. Something is amiss here. If I am to be insulted so well, I would like to know the origin." He glanced up at Dari.

"Do you get the credit?" Feldor asked her, leaning too close for her comfort.

With all eyes on her again, Dari felt especially conspicuous of Erestor's displeasure with her blasphemy.

"I heard Rúmil speak it," she said. "You can ask him yourselves if you doubt me."

Few knew he was present, sitting at a distance behind a tree. They all looked to where she pointed and Legolas, wearing a smirk of intrigue, took a few light steps in his direction. When finally Rúmil showed himself to all, he seemed more pale than usual and was reluctant to answer.

When she saw his expression, Dari's felt chilled.

"I did not say it," Rúmil answered.

"What is the explanation then?" Haldir asked, stepping through the silent, polite crowd. Dari watched Haldir approach his brother, as a hero coming to her aid. He stopped at a distance carefully taking in Rúmil's reaction. "You are her mentor; you must have edited her work. This offense is not Dari's fault alone."

"I am not offended, Haldir," Legolas tried to intervene. "It is a bit of amusement only."

"It is an offense to the practice of historical documentation," Erestor pointed out, his eyes boring into Rúmil. "You know I would never include in our library the works of anyone inclined to invent facts!"

"It was not invented," Rúmil retaliated. He turned to Dari and said more gently, "I am at fault for not explaining the unique punctuation to my apprentice." As he was speaking, Haldor approached his father with the journal, pointing to the passage. Erestor drew near to view it as well.

Haldir's face broke into a grin and Erestor harrumphed, walking off to join elder's in a crowd who, having grown bored of the conflict, were returning to the city in hymn. Haldir looked at Dari first with such warmth that she was both instantly relieved and utterly confused. Then he turned to Legolas and said, "My brother did not speak it, he _thought_ it… and apparently with the intention that only those closest to his heart could hear; not _you_, obviously."

The mystery solved to satisfaction, the elders cheerfully began to rise and break into various groups to disperse, giving their glances of approval and amusement to the players and the play-write.

The prince was no more at peace than Dari and while Haldor remained with his parents, they along with Feldor and Lien more privately approached Rúmil.

"Why not speak it aloud?" Legolas asked. "Why chastise me for only Dari to hear?"

Rúmil did not answer; he merely glanced unaffectedly at Dari and turned, walking into the forest alone. Dari thought to go after him, but felt the weight of friendship beside her.

"What is he thinking now?" Feldor asked her. She looked at him a scant until she saw his question was in jest and attempted to receive it as such.

"I know what he's thinking!" Lien announced. Instead of telling them all, she pulled Legolas down to whisper in his ear. The Prince chuckled and before she ran off to join her brother receiving praises from their father, her niece gave Dari such a cheeky grin that it made her ravenous with curiosity.

"Tell us!" Feldor pleaded to Legolas after Lien left.

Legolas spoke as if it was plain, "Lord Rúmil was clarifying the difference between his own heroics and my showing off. He likely communicated silently to avoid an argument with me that would appear to make him look jealous of my flare."

Feldor laughed and Legolas examined her for a response.

She countered quickly. "Appearing to look jealous is most annoying when you are not."

"If he was, though," Feldor argued. "Would he not even more avoid discussion so as not to be forced to confess or lie?"

Delighted, Legolas said, "You have suspicion as well?"

"Longer than you can imagine," Feldor said. "But despite all evidence, she cannot be persuaded. For now, I need to beg your excuse for I must prepare for a journey I am making with my mentor to visit Gwen."

"The orphan in Rohan?" Legolas asked.

"It has been a long winter for her. I plan to bring Theodred and his family a few comforts from my supplies to ease them into spring." He looked with longing to Dari and touched her wrist gently. "Are you sure you will not come with us?"

"For the thousandth time, no!" she said, pulling away with a forced laugh. "Fulfill your duty to her if you must, but I hereby declare, mine to you is over." Immediately she felt his spirit fade. As compensation she added, "However, you may take from my wardrobe whatever you believe she may enjoy. Galadir brought me far too much from home."

"Thank you," Feldor said softly. To Legolas he said, "If you are gone before I return, may your paths be peaceful."

"And yours," Legolas answered. Once he was gone, the prince turned to Dari and said, "That was cruel! You may not be able to extend the limitations of your own heart beyond duty, but Feldor's motivation to visit that girl is pure compassion! To call it anything else is an insult and you should apologize!" To his rebuke, Legolas added an accusation laced with animosity, "That is if you know how."

The few who remained discretely turned their attention from the discord and were departing. She may have deserved most of what he said, but she was filled with wonder at his doubting the sufficiency of her letter. Taking his arm, she led him to his tree.

"I composed my heart's confession with humble trepidation!" she explained breathlessly when they arrived. "If my letter of apology was lacking, you might have at least acknowledged the attempt!"

"What letter?" he asked.

"The letter I sent… six years ago!"

His eyes lit with fury. "Six years! And you did not think to inquire if it had gotten lost? Do you think so little of me that I would not respond?"

"Our paid courier reported that he placed the parchment directly into your mother's possession," she defended. When he seemed doubtful she let go all restraint and added, "But more so, I based my assumptions about your etiquette on my sister's experience… If dozens of her letters from Darkwood went unanswered, why should I expect you would answer my single communique?"

Legolas looked to have been struck in the gut. He looked down and sat in the grass as if collapsing from the weight of it. Dari took a seat beside him, curiously studying his devastation.

"Such sweet grace to forgive so harsh a trespass…" He put his thin fingers against his brow and said, "I did not set eyes on even one."

After giving him a moment to come to terms, Dari asked, "How do you weigh your mother's behavior?"

Calmly he stated, "I am rarely home. She likely, and rightly, suspects a letter might send me off on a visit to the sender. Though not with intention, I am knowingly guilty of injuring her with my absence." He dropped his hand to his lap and asked, "My heart tells me to forgive and return home a more dutiful son."

"Duty for your own mother?" Dari asked, "Not compassion?"

Taking measure of her tone Legolas answered, "My heart has its own limitations."

"Limitation such as an inability to love those of us who lack grace?" she asked.

His expression shifted and Legolas turned his entire body toward her. "I have been remiss. If you wrote to ask forgiveness, I take you for your word and extend it, unequivocally. And I speak the truth when I say there are no limitations to my heart's desire to restore our friendship. You are as a sister to me and I love you as such, even if you reject the notion of me as family."

There was no grand relief to Dari's growing depression as she expected and she glanced down as she said, "I welcome it… I said as much in my letter."

"I wish I had read it." He seemed suddenly wrestless and spoke quickly, "As for your lack of grace, that is a matter of concern which I would like to discuss in greater detail, however…" Legolas stood and offered her a hand, "I will not be at peace until I have set matters straight with your sister. Come with me back to the city?"

The field had depopulated of all elves and finally without her shadow friend, she now coveted the solitude.

"You will be busy for a while. I will wait for my mentor and seek your company this evening."

"While you wait, ask yourself this; why is Rúmil still your mentor?" Before she could respond he ran off down the hill and away into the forest toward the city. As the shadows grew slowly over the field, his question similarly loomed in her mind.

When finally the dark night settled, she lay back, closing her eyes and putting her mind on Rivendell and the closeness she had enjoyed with Rumil.

She awoke to the low sound of humming, but did not stir. She waited as it grew close, enjoying the unfamiliar melody and then it stopped, suddenly. Silence lingered until familiar foot falls came forward and a pleasant presence stood over her. Then, he sat close enough for his scent to be picked up on the breeze.

She smiled at the confirmation.

"I knew you were awake," Rúmil said.

"You were singing," she answered.

"Hardly; I was humming," he said. "I hope you were not waiting for me, I almost did not come back this evening. You would have been out here alone, all night in the cold."

She had warm memories keeping her company but dare not share those thoughts. Dari sat up, her shoulder grazing his. "You have a lovely voice. You should put it to use. And if you ever discover words to that tune, I hope you will share."

He did not answer, but instead he rested his arm on his bent knee, rubbing his thumb over his fingers.

"Legolas mother kept my letter from him," she said. Rúmil blinked and seemed to freeze, waiting for more. "He forgives her and me for my brutal attack… he believes she also withheld Elliene's messages. He went to sort it out… He seemed surprised I was still your student and wanted to talk to me about it."

Again he remained silent and insecurity grew that he had no comment or question on any of her news. Was it lack of interest or did he simply have other thoughts on his mind?

"Where did you go?" she asked.

"Walking," he said.

She knew better than to ask for elaboration. Since Lamer died he'd withdrawn into himself more than ever, worse than Haldir. The separation from him was torture and on a dare from her heart she peered into his spirit to discern his perspective of her. Unexpectedly he startled and she withdrew.

"I have not shared with you how proud I am of your behavior toward Feldor," he said. "I know it has not been easy. I've watched you struggle to meet his need. I should not have had to, but I chastised Haldir for his self-loathing and he took it well. He should now live up to his responsibilities again to relieve you of that duty."

Uncomfortable of his use of the word condemned by Legolas, she gawked at her mentor's unaffected face. Suddenly she wished she had not set up all the boundaries of appropriate behavior between them. It was only when she was touching him or teasing with innuendo that his defenses seemed to drop.

Without flirtation, or their spirit touch, she could not even reason how to make him look at he.

"It is not easy to do what you have done," he went on, oddly elaborating. "To continue to care for someone long after they should have stopped needing you… long after you had anything left to give…" He glanced down and started to say more, but pressed his lips together and truncated his thought.

"You are not talking about my duty to Feldor, but of yours to me?" she asked. His single nod dropped her heart to sink like stone thrown in a well.

"I made a vow to you and I will keep it," he clarified, "But Maethriel, you deserve more."

Unwilling to have this conversation until she was ready, Dari stood suddenly. Rúmil did not even glance up as she spoke.

"I have injured Feldor more gravely than I imagined," she said. "I must seek him out and make clear that he was not a burden or merely my duty; it was only selfishness that made him seem so to me." When he did not answer, she turned and ran, feeling her tears stinging as she went.

All the way up to the flet she ran, not short of breath for the training her mentor had put her through. When she saw their home was empty and her friend's room stripped of his main affects, she went to Haldir's. Legolas and Elienne were sitting at the table with Haldor and Lien in their lofts sleeping.

"There you are!" Legolas said.

"Do you know where Feldor has gone?" she asked.

As if it was a glorious matter, Elienne beamed and said, "Haldir surprised him by having everything already packed. They did manage to find three dresses of yours and…"

"They left?" she said, coming in another step. There was a creaking in Haldor's loft and she whispered, "How long ago? Might I catch them?"

"No," Elienne said, growing alarmed. "It was right after we returned. Why, what's wrong?"

Darimaetha looked at Legolas and felt her chest begin to cave again. She had to press her lips together to stop their trembling.

Elienne got up and asked, "Did you change your mind…"

"No!" she said. Then to Legolas she said, "You were right and I have finally realized the effects of losing grace and what it has cost me in valuable friendships!"

Elienne tilted her head ready to question her when Haldor's voice came from above.

"Mother, is that you? Is everything alright?"

When her sister's attention turned to her son, Dari wiped a tear and walked out the door. She was quickly followed to the bridge by Legolas.

"Might we speak now?" he asked.

"I cannot…" she started and broke into a sob. He came to her side and Dari turned away. He patiently waited for her to change her mind and after a few more tears fell she finally confessed, "My extended apprenticeship has burdened Rúmil; he has just made it clear, he no longer wants me."

"Why do you always think the worst?" he asked. "May I speak with you now?" he asked. Without a word she headed for her home and held the door for him to follow. She took a seat on the couch and buried her face in her hands.

"He lacks the grace to show you, but you are more than duty to your mentor," he said. She did not look up but could tell he sat across from her. "He loves you."

She dropped her hands and said, "How would you know what he feels? He keeps his heart locked in a box that he has thrown into the ocean and abandoned like unwanted rubbish."

Amused, Legolas said, "It just so happens that his niece has a map and a key to that treasure box." She glared at him and with a smirk he added, "And I am her confident."

"What did the little sprite say this time?" Dari asked.

"Only what confirms my own observations." It was clear he was enjoying drawing it out as much as telling her. "Unfortunately, I am sworn to secrecy both by Lien and Rúmil. But I can advise you…" He leaned forward and instructed: "Remove yourself from his tutelage. Seek a mentor who can teach grace along with proper attention to your dress as a lady. And I guarantee…" Legolas grinned mischievously and swore, "You will be more missed and desired, than you can ever imagine"

"You do not know him at all if you believe that. He cares nothing for physical ornamentation and frivolous skill pursuits."

Slightly annoyed Legolas said, "Well It will do more to win him than your constant presence which weighs on his conscience for his inability to do right by you."

She considered it for a moment and then declared, "I refuse to start believing this is possible, again." He started to argue and she said, "Think about who told you this nonsense, why would you think so highly of her counsel when she is so young?"

"Your niece is a wonder for her accuracy!" Legolas said. "Through her natural intuition I have learned more regarding the interaction of elves than ever I understood on my own - or by the instructions of my parents. She is a rare jewel to our people, I am sure of it. Arwen is the Evenstar, but Liendriel will prove just as bright one day."

It was quite the compliment that even Haldir might not give. Disregarding discretion, Dari blurted, "Feldor told me that Lamer was intending to court her. She's a little young to be desirable, yes?"

As if excited by the notion Legolas admitted, "It is her youth that makes her wisdom so alluring! But while I understand his hastiness to win her before others might notice her charm, yes, sixteen is too young for her to think on such matters; even if she were willing."

"And you know she was not?" Dari asked.

"You reveal no secrets here and far be it for me to speak ill of the dead, but Lien once confessed to me she found Lamer's flattery and flirtation obvious and hoped he would grow out of it." He chuckled, thinking on it fondly. "Her regard for him was…patronizing, though he never realized it I'm sure. She was not interested, I am certain."

Dari was fascinated but remained focused and pointed out, "Unlike you, whom she worships almost as much as her father?" From his wary expression she could see Legolas was beginning to catch on to her direction, but she did not change it. "Would you welcome a maturation of her affections, when she's older?"

"I intend never to bond," Legolas said firmly. "Not even with someone as marvelous as Liendriel. I have long known I cannot be tethered to one kingdom…" With a bit of sadness he added, "Whoever loves me may end up as lonely for me as my mother, and I would not do that to anyone. My heart is limited, as I said and Lien would never settle to be less than someone's everything; and she deserves even far more than that."

The door opened and Rúmil stepped in and then hesitated before he asked, "If this is a private conversation, I will only be a moment…"

"Take your time, he's just courting me," Dari said. Legolas sat back, chagrined with her and Rúmil froze, looking first at her and then at the prince. Then sarcastically she added, "He's doing a good job too, I might have been convinced had you not interrupted his prose."

Legolas put his elbow on the arm rest and rested his head on his fingers.

She could see Rúmil was amused with her jesting, and watched with interest as he stepped to the shelf that held his lute. He lifted it, walked to Legolas, handing it to him. When the Prince took it, Rúmil said, "I recommend you compose a song. She is too wise to be charmed by words alone." When he reached the door he stopped and turned to add, "And jasmine bouquets are her favorite. Any elf worth his weight knows not to come courting with only compliments."

He left, leaving the door open and Dari felt her heart racing. To Legolas she said, "So you know, he knew I was teasing."

"What matters is, is he right?" Legolas asked. She looked at the lute and remembered what she had heard in the field. "Is he right?" Legolas repeated.

"I don't know," she said. Legolas handed her the lute and stood.

"You should not have said that to him. I already have enough trouble in this family from one brother. But if his reaction served to convince you to take my advice, then I suppose I will gladly endure more opposition."

When he left, Dari fingered the lute and realized she had never heard Rúmil play it, but there was no dust on it at all. She stood and went to the shelf where it had laid and noticed there was a layer on the other ornamentation. Hesitating before putting the lute back in its place, she gave it a strum; she knew little about the instrument but could at least tell; it was in tune.

Part 2 ~ Feldor

It was not surprising to be stopped at the edge of the small city, especially being strangers with all the packs they carried. Again Haldir let Feldor speak when the men on their horses approached with spears. Seeing the sharp points set him on edge, but these men, nervous as they were, were also just and not hungry for war.

"Who are you?" demanded one of the oldest.

"I am Feldor, friend of Eomund," he said. Noticing many exchanging glances, he held up his fist. "Here is proof, his family ring he gave to me."

The man lowered his spear and stepped his horse forward. He came close enough to take Feldor's hand in his and eyed the ring himself.

"Why have you come?" he asked, releasing him.

"To visit," Feldor explained. Feldor gestured to their horses and said, "And to offer his family these gifts of gratitude for taking in Gwen, another friend whose family was lost to her last summer."

He lifted his eyes to Haldir and said, "And who is he?"

Feldor felt the gravity of this man's inquiry and warning pounded in his heart beat. The truth was on his tongue before he could filter it. "He is my kin, like a father to me." Haldir did not flinch, even as Feldor confessed, "In our realm he holds great position answering only to our Lady and our King, but by my side he is humbled to be an adviser."

The man looked Haldir over, took note of his enormous sword and then said to Feldor, "You may go in, with your horses, but this lord elf must remain here. Kin to you or no, this city has had too much grief to bear an outsider of his stature."

Fear kneaded his heart as Feldor sought Haldir's opinion. In elvish his mentor said, "The choice is yours. I can stay, but would not send you alone were you wary."

"I am, but my worry for Gwen is stronger."

"Follow your heart," Haldir said.

To the man, Feldor said in Westron, "I will go in alone."

A younger man was assigned the task of leading him and Feldor walked before Sully and Sullendry, holding their reigns for display as they passed through the sparse village. The people, impoverished and thin, came to their doors and some even lined the street watching the gigantic steeds clomping with their mounds of goods. Feldor was suddenly impressed with how well Erindwyn's family had done with their Inn and felt once more the loss of that beautiful life.

When they stopped finally at what seemed to be one of the larger homes, he noted the roof needed tending compared to many of the others, and the window in the front was repaired with a board of wood and half pounded, bent nails.

The man who had led him went to the door and knocked. Before anyone answered he turned to Feldor and said, "I cannot promise they will see you."

"I know they will," he said confidently. "They are expecting me."

When the door opened a crevice, a young boy with long blond hair held the knob. He and his too small clothes were filthy. He had only wool socks on and an abrasion scab on his elbow.

"Is your mother here, Eomor?" the man asked.

"She's sick," he said. "In bed."

"Close the door, Eomer!" came a voice from within. "You're letting in the chill!"

He started to close it and Feldor called, "Is that you Gwen?"

Nearly instantly the young girl he remembered appeared behind the boy; only she looked strangely older. She pulled the boy in and shooed him away.

"This elf says he knew Eomund, will Theodwyn receive him?"

"I know Feldor, I will receive him," she said without any of the delight Feldor had expected.

"You are not the lady of the house…" the man started.

Boldly she stepped out and Feldor saw her apron was stained and a hole was in her boot. Her hair was mussed under her scarf and he felt suddenly there was something terribly wrong.

"Since my lord Eomund's death I have scraped together rations to feed these children. I have cleaned up after them and done everything the lady of the house would have if she were well. This elf is my friend whose only brother died rescuing me from the fire that took my entire family. If I say I will receive him, you will let him pass."

The man raised his brows and backed away, lifting his hands as if innocent of offense.

"Will you show him the stable out back to put the horses in for me?" she asked.

"Yes, m'lady," he said.

She looked at those who were watching from the street and to Feldor she said, "I will meet you there."

When she slammed the door shut, the man chuckled and said, "Few men would dare say no to her."

"Did she say, Eomund is dead?" Feldor asked.

"Aye," he said, leading Feldor around to an alley. "I thought to let his wife tell you, but she's not been seen since it happened. I did not know she was still ill."

"How did he die?" he asked, scarcely believing. "And when?"

"Orcs, of course. Six months ago. I wasn't with the men that day; only a handful returned. They said he had something personal against that legion. Some guessed it was the same that had taken Gwen's family, there's no proof of that though." At the large, but dilapidated barn, he stopped and said, "We lost a lot of men from this village that day. Most women in this village are widows now, but they..."

He cut off and Feldor turned to see where his eyes were focused. There was a little girl, dressed in a gray dress, holding a tattered doll in her arm.

The door behind her opened and Gwen came out in a panic. "Eowyn! Go inside…"

"Can I have a biscuit?" the girl asked.

"They are for dinner," Gwen said pushing her gently.

"Is there honey?"

"No, not today," Gwen said and shut the door before she walked over to them. "Thank you Gamling."

"My pleasure," he said. "Is there anything I can do?"

"You can tell the king his sister is dying," she said. "The healer has been by four times and said she is getting worse. There is nothing more he can do… it is not any ailment he knows."

Feldor watched Gwen with awe; she would be seventeen now but she had aged many more in maturity.

"I will try again," Gamling said. "But none of us have forgotten how Theodwyn sent him away last time."

"Tell him she is beyond speech to blame anyone anymore," she said.

"I will do what I can," he said and departed.

Once she watched Gamling turn the corner and move out of sight, Feldor was nearly knocked over with a clinging embrace. He put his arms around her tiny frame and felt the bones in her back through her dress. It shocked him more than her agedness.

"You came…" she gasped as she stood back and shook her hands. "I'm sorry… I have to be strong…" She sucked in a breath again, trembling with the intake. "The children cannot see me cry…" she said and clenched her jaw. Then she burst out, "My manners… you must come in! It is not much warmer inside but it is out of the wind... I made only three biscuits, but I can split mine..."

Feldor extended his hands and steadied her shoulder with one and touched her face with the other. Once she looked at him with her haunted blue eyes he said, "I have brought food for you, and clothing…" She stood still, stunned. "All on my horses is for you!" He smiled and said, "And my kin sent _four_ jars of honey."

Gwen covered her mouth and nearly fell faint before he caught her arm.

….

Once he learned of the gifts, Eomer did not need to be persuaded to help them bring in all of the packages and goods, setting them in a pile on the table in the middle of the room. Gwen had started at once on fixing a stew she said would last them a week with only a small ration of the cured meat and vegetables he brought.

While he took the job to stir the pot occasionally and keep Eowyn out of trouble, Gwen stepped out planning to use one of the largest jars of honey for barter. She and Eomer returned with a wagon load of cut wood, boots and wool for spinning.

As Feldor stacked the hoard for them in what had been an empty woodshed he was reminded of how bitter cold it could get outside of Galadriel's protection. When he came in, the stew pot was hung over a roaring fire in the hearth that Eomer looked to be tending with great care as he finished his portion of dinner.

"I've put Eowyn to bed with her mother and lit the stove in her room," Gwen said as she came from the back groom. "Your mother asked for you as well, Eomer." The boy looked up at the door and Gwen added, "Your sister is sleeping, but there's room for you if..." He stood quickly, rushing into the back room. To Feldor, Gwen said, "She smelled the stew, but only ate a few bites. I told her you were here, but she doesn't know who you are."

"We never met," he said. Gwen nodded and sat down across from him in a rocking chair. She was already wearing the heavy cloak he had brought, and Dari's slippers, which were a bit big. "I am finally taking all of this in," he said. "I am overwhelmed by what you have gone through, and how you have risen to the occasion with such stamina."

There was a low rumble of thunder and Gwen got up immediately and fetched a large pot. She put it strategically in a corner and said, "It leaks here the worst…"

"What more can I do?" he asked.

"You have already saved us," she said, taking her seat again as the rain coming down began its ,pattering. "I can use much of what you brought to hire someone to fix the house… I hope you don't mind. Eomund planned to do it over the winter when he was not needed so much with the riders. I never felt right selling their things… She is royalty, so much here is heirloom and inheritance for the children." She held up her feet and said, "These are so beautiful and well made I could have the barn torn down and rebuilt for them."

"These gifts were meant for you to keep," he said. She put her feet down and he startled when behind him the pot began to tink with dripping water. She chuckled and rolled her eyes at it. "I can stay a few days and do some repairs," he said. "My father was a wood worker and I studied under him many years. Though I know very little about this type of roof, I can make it waterproof in the way I know."

"If I were more proud I would say you have done enough," Gwen said. "But…" She choked up again and Feldor felt his heart breaking for her. He got up and went to her side, squatting before her and taking her hand. "It is so hard… I cannot even find time to ride my horse... I feel selfish keeping her, but she is all I have left."

Before he knew what he was saying, Feldor spoke his heart, "I will stay as long as you need me, Gwen."

Her hand gripped his arm and seeing her eyes light with hope, he had no regrets.

…

The next morning Feldor attempted to lead Sully and Sullendry out of the barn, but only Sullendry would come. He had explained to them what was happening, that he would be staying and he did not know how long. It seemed Sully had gotten it into his horse head that he was staying too.

"Are you arguing with that horse?" Eomer asked behind him.

"Yes, and he is winning," Feldor said.

"Are you speaking horse language?"

"I am speaking Sindarin, the language of my people," he said. "He understands it, though he is pretending like he does not."

Eomer walked up to Sullendry, the boy was the age Feldor had been when he first met the giant stallion. His eyes were no less full of wonder than his own had been. "If Gwen will allow it, you may come with me and ride him."

The boy grinned and was off like an arrow shot to ask permission and Feldor knew at once he was going to love the child.

**Part 3 ~ Haldir**

"Your kin is coming," a man mentioned to Haldir.

He stood from where he was drying off by the fires of those who guarded this land and turned to see a surprise. Feldor and Sullendry were stopped at the gate of the city by a man who would not let the Elf take the child. Feldor removed the boy from his perch and spoke to him before leaving him to stand with the guard as he approached with the stallion.

Being short one horse combined with the timid expression on his charge's face caught Haldir's concern.

"Eomund has died and his wife lay ill," he said suddenly and then went into a long and detailed explanation of the tragedy, the alienation of the family and the young girl left with no income and great responsibility. "I am overwhelmed by his family's need…"

Moved with empathy, Haldir soothed, "I have been where you are more times than I can count. The way of men is a harsh life; bearing the burden of such friendships weighs heavily on the heart. It is why I limit myself now, having learned." His student nodded and Haldir asked, "Did you decide to leave Sully, to sire offspring as was his desire?"

"It was his idea to stay."

Haldir gazed at Sullendry's wild eye, feeling his friend's uneasiness. "Your son's decision leaves you anxious, my friend? Need I remind you it was your idea to stay watch over Elienne? He bears your character, I'm afraid."

"I am staying as well," Feldor said.

Haldir stepped back, crossing his arms and shaking his head at the shock of it.

Feldor took a stance as strong as he had when challenging Haldir to court and said, "I cannot abandon Gwen to look after Eomund's family when I promised her _he_ would look after_ her_."

There was little doubt in Haldir's troubled spirit that his charge had set his mind to this and would not be dissuaded. If he withheld his blessing over the decision, even greater hardship would fall on Feldor; so Haldir only showed caution.

"How long?" he asked. "I will not forbid you, but I insist you set a limit to your time here; a short term goal. And do not make it until they no longer need you, for there will always be need among men."

Feldor frowned and thought a while. Then he said, "I will offer to stay until Theodwyn returns to health and can run her house or... her brother is the king and only stays away for a slight she gave him out of her grief. Gwen is sure he will return to lend aid. Which ever happens first will send me home."

"If I do not see you back in my house by the end of September, I will send an errand for explanation, understood?"

"Yes, m'Lord!" Feldor agreed, though with a strange shadow.

Stung by the fear of losing yet another youth, Haldir took Feldor by the shoulders and pulled him close, kissing his cheek and then whispered, "Be on guard, my son. Not all men are so trustworthy as your deceased friends. Do not be naive or they will take advantage of your kindness."

When Haldir stepped away he felt the emotion had crept into his expression and was unable to cover it.

"I will, I promise," Feldor said.

Upon his horse, he gave a nod and Feldor waved before Haldir signaled to Sullendry he was ready. As they sped away at gallop he attempted to ignore the premonition that Feldor would not return to their wood for a very long time.

…

None would dare argue against the reasons, once they heard the entire story, but it was clear to Haldir what most elders were thinking, for it was what Haldir believed as well. Feldor would learn helping men was a hopeless endeavor and come back to his people with deep sorrow and perhaps even jaded.

To his utter amazement Darimaetha took the news personally, as if she had inspired the decision. Elienne's words were rejected outright as too hopeful and his brother's short words of condolences brought her scorn upon him. The twins found the entire event fascinating and wished they could visit him, but being told 'never' they so insistently begged their aunt to go and write of it that she finally had to sternly ask them to let her be.

Rúmil had quipped that Legolas might have done some good with her, but the prince had left before hearing the news and none knew when to expect him back. Without anyone to help distract his young, Haldir was too busy filling their time to try his own charm on his sister; and so she was left alone, as she wanted.

Then late one evening, when dropping off some borrowed tools, he heard his name called from the darkness of their main flet and saw Dari sit up from where she had been sleeping on the couch.

"Yes, dear one?" he asked.

"May I have a moment?" she whispered.

"Of course," he said, but when he started toward her, she stood, pointed at Orophin in his loft and indicated she wished to leave. He let her lead.

She stopped midway across the bridge and looked to be gathering some words in her mind that she had prepared.

"Darimaetha, you are my kin, there is no need for formalities… speak to me as you would a friend. I insist." When she hesitated he said, "I will be insulted if you treat me like a March Warden in my own home."

She smiled and sighed, her shoulders easing. "I should thank you first," she said. "Long ago you sat with my father on my account to see to my welfare and I never fully appreciated that act or gave you credit for such kindness."

"Your gratitude is welcome but not because I need it," he said. "Rather, because I am more certain now that you understand I have cared for you from the beginning. It does no good for me to love my sister if she does not recognize the depth of it."

She nodded, slightly embarrassed. It was not all she had to say, he could tell by her demeanor and so Haldir took a casual position leaning against the rail to show he was not in any hurry to leave her company. In all the years she had lived with them, her initiation of private conversations could be counted on one hand and as this one, always with purpose.

"Does this have to do with Feldor?" he asked.

She tensed and said, "No, why?"

"I do not think he realizes the hole he leaves in our hearts with his absence any more than you did when you left us."

"He did try to tell me," she said. "I did not listen... it is that lack of sensitivity which drives my question. For it was brought to my attention that my education may benefit from a shift in direction... to more gentile leanings."

That was something to note, Haldir thought. "I would not disagree," he said.

"Thinking on the matter is what led me to my realization of your aid before, for I am humbled to ask you again for assistance securing a suitable mentor."

"Certainly! It would be my pleasure. If you have specific traits you wish to study and talents you wish to hone…" He stopped speaking, noting the anxiousness in her expression. "…yes?"

"I have already thought of someone. While my first choice was Galadir and his daughters, since they expressed interest, he mentioned leaving soon and I would not hold them here, nor do I wish to leave Elienne and the twins... or you, of course." He was included as an addendum, but appreciated her attempts at sensitivity with amusement. "However," she continued, "there is a charming friend of yours I have admired from afar who might teach me the art of singing."

Haldir felt his spirits lift and he stood upright, "You mean to seek Muriel's attention?" She nodded and he went on, "She will be thrilled! She fancies you for a project already! As we all do, she sees your beauty and potential and longs to make right of it. I must warn you, she has already many ideas of how it should be done."

"I am aware," Dari said with a chuckle. "She is not subtle. I would not presume to present myself to anyone I was not sure would welcome me."

He smiled and said, "I will speak to her tomorrow."

"Could you ask her also if I may move in to her flet?" she said. When he started to respond on the presumption of that request she explained, "Oriel her husband has left for Rivendell with Erestor for an indefinite period of time to finish his studies. She has made mention of loneliness and I can provide company when we are not at study."

To that, Haldir had to pause for the scandal he predicted when poor Murial drove Dari to madness.

"Though I would not speak it for gossip," he said, "In confidence I ask you to consider if her manner is not too simple for your own thoughts. She is a fine teacher of rote skills, but not of philosophy. Thus, you may find her company… shallow?"

Dari smiled at his hesitant honesty. "It is her ability to live in the moment and love those in front of her that I admire most, m'lord. I wish to live less wallowing in my own past and to be more charitable to others. With whom better than someone who excessively champions everyone she meets?"

Pausing to take in the awareness of someone so young, Haldir suddenly wished he had spent more time with his sister instead of finding her spirit too dark for long encounters.

"I am uncertain why you believe you have no grace, Dari. You demonstrate it with marvel."

Discarding his compliment she confessed, "This conclusion has taken me two months to derive. I seek to gain a grace that is responsive in the moment and so need not be so calculated."

"Fair enough," he said. He could see she was finished now, but he was not. "Before you go, might I inquire of you some advice?"

"Me advise you, m'lord?" she asked. "That is like an eagle seeking counsel from a moth!"

"So it is!" he said. "And so they do… When next Gandalf visits we shall have to have him speak to you on his ability to communicate with creatures. My question, however, is in regard to Feldor… do you think I was lenient to let him stay in Rohan?"

"I am too bias on the matter to give counsel," she confessed. "And my reasons for wanting him here are completely selfish."

"May I inquire upon them?" he asked. He thought himself too bold, the way she resisted, but then she shifted into open vulnerability.

"We did not part on the best of terms. He learned of my irritation and I never corrected it." She looked at her hands on the railing and admitted, "The truth is evident to all now, that I do care for him, very, very deeply – so deeply it terrifies me. And now I may have to wait as long as September to confess my true heart… and as you said, it does no good for me to feel it and never have him know."

"I believe he knows, Dari," Haldir said. "I asked him along the way why he was so melancholy, he said he is saddened that you do not appreciate the friendship or see it as he does. He saw your attention, duty I believe he called it, as great kindness, more so than if driven by emotion alone."

Dari closed her eyes and shook her head, upset by that. "How do I deserve him?"

"Perhaps the time away will do both of you some good," he suggested. When she appeared dubious he pointed out, "You will have months to improve yourself and surprise him."

It was obvious that realization had not occurred to her and he was impressed that this change was for herself, not to charm anyone else; another good sign for her maturity. When she smirked Haldir knew he had eased her mind to peace this evening.

"Thank you," she said.

As they prepared to part he asked, "By the way, why do you sleep on the couch? Rúmil is on watch tonight, is he not?"

"We decided in Rivendell it was too intimate to share a bed, even if not at the same time."

"Oh… why not take Feldor's room? Or has Orophin plans to escape his tiny loft?"

"Orophin prefers a small area, less to clean!"

Haldir chuckled and watched her return to her flet, realizing suddenly how quiet it would be with only his young here; or rather, how much more attention they were going to demand! The thought brought warmth to his chest, for if he had been honest, sharing their attentions and affections with so many others had not been as easy as he had tried to make it look.

He determined to make the best of this new season in their lives, for however long it would last.


	19. Love and Loss

Part 1 ~ Elienne

When first Elienne learned that Rúmil had withheld a letter from her father, she was confused. Haldir's explanation that his brother's reasons were for protection rang empty, especially knowing her father was in mourning and would even more need a return letter. She could not believe he had gone mad and had petitioned Galadir to admit he could be over stating the situation.

When she was resisted, refused and eventually ignored by Rúmil, Haldir said there was little left to do but request mediation. Being as serious as it was, they had left the twins at home and Celeborn was presiding over the small family court.

As Galadir testified, Elienne's homesickness began to roll in her heart as dread. Her mother's death had been a catalyst to a dark, desperate season in their home. Beside her, Dari sat straight, dressed in formal robes and quietly attentive, mimicking Muriel who sat supportively behind them. Claiming patience Dari refused to approach Rúmil personally on the letter but Elienne suspected she was being taught more on conflict avoidance than resolution.

After hearing the numbers lost defending their wood and her father's apathetic reaction to it, Elienne still maintained his true feeling might be buried in the letter.

When Galadir was finished, Celeborn said, "Thank you. Even I was unaware of the grave situation in Darkwood. Does either party have further questions for the witness?"

Though odd, Haldir was representing Rúmil, the far weaker case, he said. She trusted his desire for justice and accepted Orophin as council as both practical and desirable to keep the situation from scandal outside the family.

"Your candor is appreciated, Lord Galadir," Orophin stated sincerely as he stood. "It has served to enlighten the court on Rúmil's reasoning. However, I am left to wonder if Haldir not been grieving Lamer, would you have placed the letter in his confidence?"

Elienne was not pleased that yet another intermediary should come between herself and her father, but if Haldir read it she would have easier access to its contents.

"No," the elder said. "I confess the situation leant itself to hide the whole truth… I believe Lord Rúmil wishes to keep what is on the envelope a secret as well. If I shared what was said to me… and the direction I was given… "

"Please do not!" Rúmil said aloud, startling Elienne.

Haldir covered his mouth and Celeborn ordered, "The defendant will let the witness finish. Lord Galadir, you will tell the court what you were instructed to say or do, but not what is on the letter."

"I am sorry, Rúmil, I believe he is right, I should give this testimony… it helps your case anyway." To Celeborn he said, "Lord Bronian told me to give it to Darimaetha, his youngest daughter… and to let her decide what to do with it."

It only brought up more mystery and Haldir waved any questions he had so that poor Galadir was excused.

"Maethriel, do you wish to speak before I rule?" Celeborn said. When she shook her head he probed gently, "We have heard from everyone else in this room, even your current mentor has an opinion… have you nothing to say at all?"

"No," Dari said.

Leaning forward Celeborn asked, "Then I will compel you as a hostile witness to answer my question."

"No!" Elienne and Rúmil said together.

He sat back and looked at them both one after the other. "I see there is one thing you two agree upon at least and that convinces me even more to ask my question. Darimaetha… I should like to hear your opinion. Even if you do not want to see the contents yourself, given the horror your former mentor insists are within, do you believe your sister is right; that she could bear the letter?"

Blinking with tension was the first emotion Dari had expressed since the court had begun and Elienne almost felt she should give up the case right now. But she glared at Rúmil, not understanding how he could be so stubborn.

"I trust Lord Rúmil," Dari said finally. She looked at Elienne and said, "I'm so sorry. You do not know how awful he could be; even when we lived there."

Crushed, Elienne sat back in her seat and took her hand away. She looked up at Lord Celeborn, hopeless and said, "That letter may be the last thing I ever hear from my father. If he wrote it to me, why should others decide if I read it or not?"

Beside her Orophin put his arm around her chair and exchanged looks with Haldir.

"Lord Rúmil," Celeborn said. "The letter… give it to me."

"If you want to take it from me, you may," Rúmil said. "I will not raise a hand to you, but I will not willingly put it in your possession if you plan to read it or allow Elienne to read it."

"I plan to read the cover and hope that will at least sway me from this dear lady's excellent petition."

Rúmil got up and opened the protective envelop he had placed it in. He walked to Celeborn and rather than handing it to their king, held it before him to read.

Insult by the gesture was replaced by confusion as he read it and then quickly covered by ire. "Why have you even kept this thing? You should have burned it immediately."

Elienne stood and said, "At least tell me what is on the front so that I can be convinced!"

Celeborn nodded and Rúmil reluctantly came toward them. Dari kept her eyes averted, staring instead at her old mentor's face. Elienne read it silently to herself.

_To My Most Precious Daughter..._

"That is all?" Elienne said.

Rúmil took it back and Celeborn said, "How would Dari know what to do? It is a sin to play favorites with your young."

Dari glanced at it and then closed her eyes, obviously wounded by it.

"This was a game he played with us while she was growing up," Elienne said with a laugh. "He never meant harm by it. We were both his most precious, he made that clear."

"It does not bother you?" Celeborn asked.

"He is our father…" Elienne said. "Even if his last words are that he prefers Dari and hates me, I want to read them." When Dari shook her head and covered her mouth, looking up at Elienne, Elienne pleaded with her, "At least he wrote to us… mother did not even do that! She did not even say good bye!"

As Elienne spoke of her mother, she was overcome by the loss and put her hand to heart at the pain. It was the first time she had admitted to anyone but Haldir how much it hurt and Dari was up on her feet, her arms around her holding her. Feeling her younger sister's support, Elienne held on and sobbed, at last not having to be the strong one. Though she buried her face in the velvet of Dari's robes, she could hear mumbling in the room and the distinctive, low voice of her husband letting go a soft sob of sorrow as he bore her tears on his own heart from a distance.

"I will read it and then decide based on the content," Celeborn said. "Give it to me, Rúmil, or I swear I will leap over this bench and take it!"

Hopeful, Elienne looked up, but as she did she saw the light in the room had changed. Blinking, her heartbreak suddenly dampened and she saw that Lady Galadriel had entered. Walking among them, she came to Rúmil and he gave up the letter willingly from a trembling hand.

Looking at her husband she said, "I will not have you bear the contents and the weight of this decision. Too long has Rúmil carried it alone for it to be for nothing." She put her hand on his shoulder and said, "It is mine now to bear. I know your heart – I too trust you." Even as she said it Elienne saw his countenance brighten with light and color.

She did not speak directly to Elienne or Dari, but held up the letter in her hand and with just a glare and flick tossed it before her where it lit up on fire and fell burning to the ground.

"And so was the fate of Darkwood," she said, as it turned to ash. "I have not shared it outside of this court, for few could bear it. But we have lost an entire elf kingdom. All those that remained after Galadir's exodus have perished; some by the swords of Easterlings, others to orcs… the rest to flame."

Elienne gripped her sister, shaking at the horror of it.

"It is too much to bear?" Galadriel asked her. "Yet you ask to witness the words of your father as his heart fell into the deepest darkness? You are more proud than strong and that is very dangerous."

Galadriel then looked to all of them as she walked among them and warned. "The fall of Darkwood will grow the numbers of orcs in Mordor but a closer doom looms over us for Sauron searches for the Ring from Dol Guldur… And Gandalf has suspicions on the location. None of us can afford to be proud, not even me. We are like thin strands of silk that may break by the tension of life and every kingdom in this land will fall as we do."

Then Galadriel's stern face softened.

"But together…" She opened her hands and raised both arms, her light shining through them as well as on them. "We are woven in fellowship and love." She smirked and glanced briefly at Rúmil as she said, "As tightly as a master's rope are the hearts of our kinship wound round one another." She glanced to Haldir and added, "It is in that bonding that we find our strength."

When his eyes fell to her, Elienne witnessed longing on his face. "I will never let this kingdom fall, m'lady," Haldir said. "In it is my life, my love and my greatest treasures." To Galadriel directly he then added, "Whatever comes against your realm, you know, you can count on me… I will make our guard ready as if to fight ten thousand. None shall stand against us."

With adoration, Galadriel tilted her head and gazed upon him, approaching him with her grand stature made the greatest warrior imaginable seem but a bragging elfling. The great lady elf reached her hand up beside his face and looked down upon him and said, "I know your worth. And as you have felt losing Lamer, I would tenfold feel losing you…" Elienne watched her husband drink in the affection as it were from his own grandmother.

She pulled away, but then grinning, she teased him, "And do not presume that the tip of my sword has grown dull." Inspiring awe, her voice boomed, "For I would once again lead an army myself if any of my beloveds were threatened!"

"Woe be to them," came Celeborn's comment from the court bench.

Galadriel brightened further and gazed at him and asked, "Are you almost done here?"

"If you wouldn't mind giving me a moment to close the court case, I would be," he said, cheekily.

Elienne's heart lightened as they all agreed that the matter was settled. Though the grief would be with her over her home and her father's fate, she did feel she could bear it now.

As they were parting for their own home, she heard Rúmil call for Dari.

"Maethriel," he said and took a step toward her.

"Yes, M'Lord?" she said. Murial stopped to wait patiently by her side.

Suddenly self-conscious of all the ears on him he hesitated, but then pushed on. "Forgive me for lying to you? I opted for the least suffering, as I could reason."

"I do, especially if it explains why you have been so distant." When he glanced down she added, "I also forgive my father for whatever it is you read. He was full of both love and pride. His pride won, but there was once love. I hope knowing that will help you forgive him too."

Elienne squeezed Haldir's arm, joyful at seeing her sister so at peace. Murial came to her Dari's side and took her arm affectionately.

"Of course he will, Darimaetha," she said with a lilt. Rúmil pulled his eyes away from Dari to look on the minstrel and she added, "Won't you come for a visit some time? You need not tell us when, our doors are always open to anyone of your house."

"I dare not promise," he said softly and bowed, exiting.

While Dari watched him go, Muriel turned to Elienne and said, "Send the twins if you two are so busy, or even Orophin!"

Still poised, Dari gazed on the ground where Rúmil had stood as if in a daze. Elienne suddenly realized it had been over a month since their paths had crossed except for her petitioning for help during this case.

"I will come this week," she said. "And I will not be able to come without Lien once she learns of it!"

"Perfect, isn't it, Darimaetha?"

Dutifully Dari looked up and smiled. "I really am pleased," she said sincerely. "I miss my family. But I worry for Rúmil. Lord Haldir, will you see to him? Make him certain it is behind us?"

"Of course I will do my best," he said. "And I will come for a visit too, though perhaps not at the same time, so that you may have more of us to spread around."

…

Two days after the trial, Rúmil finally returned home and Elienne gave him all of half a day before she approached. She was about to knock, when the door opened.

"Oh, hello!" Orophin said.

She smiled and said, "I'm here to make amends with Rúmil. Is he still here?"

"Yes, but…" he started, looking back over his shoulder. "To be honest, now is as good a time as any," he said. "He's always in a foul mood since Dari left." Behind him something made a noise as a tool being put down hard. "I'm tired of pretense," Orophin said to her, but loudly to be heard behind him. "Go in and do your best, you can't make anything worse. As for me, I have scheduled a hunt with a friend whose company is pleasant, interesting and void of drama."

He bent over and kissed Elienne's cheek and then was off.

Rúmil was working on a rope and rather than give him opportunity to refuse, Elienne did not ask, but instead took a stool and sat near him while he worked.

"I slammed my comb down because of mistake, not because of what Orophin said."

"A mistake?" she asked.

"I broke thread," he said. "Which would not be too terrible if it wasn't the second one."

"That is a shame," she said. "All that hard work… can't you fix it, though?

"Of course I can fix it, I just have to unravel it a bit and add another few strands around it here and there to strengthen the…" he stopped and then said, "You are not here to learn about weaving thread, Elienne. Please do not patronize me by playing the 'I'm interested in your life game' before you ask for something."

"But I am interested in your life," she said. He sighed and looked back down on his work, starting to unravel it. "I am here for a reason, though." He hummed and nodded. "I wanted to make amends. To tell you, I forgive you for what you did and ask you to for-"

"There is nothing to forgive. You did what your heart told you and I did what mine told me. Just because there is a conflict it doesn't mean either of us did anything wrong or that there should be hard feelings."

Elienne could not believe how tense he was and thought it was an impossible task she had been given; but pressed on in any case.

"Fine," she said. "Can we be friends then?"

"I don't have friends. So, are you asking to go on a hunt like Orophin does with his? Or should I maybe take up embroidery and join you with yours?" He did not even look at her as he laid out the picked apart threads and began to comb through them.

Elienne pressed her lips together, trying to resist telling him how impolite he was. He knew.

"Alright, then I will just ask you for the favor outright and not wait until an opportune moment for you to consider it."

"Thank you!" he said.

"Liendriel heard you playing the lute and…"

"I do not perform or give lessons," he interrupted.

"May I finish?" she asked, allowing her annoyance to show. He stopped working and stared at her. "She thought you were terrible." He sat up slightly. Now that she had his attention she said, "Lien does not need lessons, she has been taking them from a master for ten years and only just graduated from student to performer." She could see he was almost hurt not to know. "She has heard what I have endured for my foul singing and is too shy to practice within hearing of anyone. But, she does want to perform." Rúmil nodded, anxious and she said, "However all the piece she fancies require accompaniment… and being still uncertain of her abilities…"

He shook his head and started to open his mouth.

Furious, Elienne pointed at him and ordered, "For the love of the wood, Rúmil, let me finish!" He pressed his lips together, a hint of amusement coming to his eyes. Elienne dropped her hand and gathered her grace.

"She has been bothering me for weeks against all my protesting to ask you… if she might… teach you a bit and then see if you could improve enough to perform with her for the family."

The smile that came to his face was quickly followed by a laugh as he leaned on an elbow and dipped is head slightly, shaking it.

"I see that you appreciate the audacity in your niece? I do not expect you to say yes, but I did hope you might help preserve her adoration of you by assisting me with a response that does not injure."

"I'm that bad?" he said.

"You have heard me sing, you know that I am not the one to ask!" she said. He glanced up at her and again his elusive chuckle was exposed to her delighted ear. "Did you ever take lessons?" she inquired.

"Not officially from a teacher," he said, completely softened now. "That over there is my mother's lute. I used to watch her as she sang to me, and she tried to teach me the fingering." He looked down and said in deep memory, "I did not want to be sent away from her to learn from a master, so I pretended not to want to learn. For centuries I have been too proud to approach a teacher in anything…" His voice trailed off for a moment and then he added, "Except Maethriel…"

Rúmil looked up suddenly and said, "Tell Lien I will be a good student, if she is gentle with me and keeps it a secret until we are both ready. Do you think she can do that?"

"She kept her playing secret from you, I think she can.

"Agreed, then," he said. "I will make up a schedule…"

Elienne pulled out from her skirt pocket the scroll Lien had given her and put it in his hands.

"She is the teacher," she said and stood. "She worked with Haldir and Orophins's schedules of watch and warrior training, and I will find something for Haldor to do so that you might practice here."

"Hmm," he said, looking at the parchment. "I am in over my head already, I see."

"Changing your mind?" she asked.

"No," he said and took in a breath. "I shall aspire to be an attentive and accomplished accompany."

"Good!" she said and walked to the door. "Hopefully she'll love some cheer into you." His expression was completely receptive and he nodded, going back to work on the rope with a slight smirk.

Part 2 ~ Feldor

In the heat of afternoon, Feldor wore his dirt and sweat as testament to the veracity of his attack on the finishing touches of the barn. He knew better than to enter the house smelling as he was, so he peered in the open window, tempted by a waif of the four small pies cooling there.

Before he called for her, he watched Gwen, leaning over the table, cleaning it of dough. She was covered more by her apron than the dress held up by straps at her shoulders.

"Gwen," he called. She looked up with her large blue eyes and he said, "Fetch the children, it's done!"

As she came toward the back door she wiped her hands on her apron and said, "Eomer is still making deliveries…" When she opened the back door, Eowyn, dressed in her matching apron, rushed out in front of her.

She covered her mouth with both hands and gasped. Eowyn ran into the barn and around the happily placed horses in their larger, open stall.

"How did you manage to make it bigger?" Gwen asked. "And why so much ornamentation. No wonder it took you so long."

"It isn't bigger, I merely rearranged the space to make it more efficient. And this way the horses can be together." Gwen narrowed her eyes and gave him a cute pucker, still feigning chagrin over his stallion being caught mounting her mare a few weeks ago. "You cannot argue with horse hearts," he pointed out, again.

From behind Sully, Eowyn came running out with the horse Feldor had carved her.

"You found it already!" he said with a laugh. He had witnessed his brother's enjoyment of lavishing gifts on Haldir's twins, but only now understood why Lamer spent so much time trying to please them. He squatted down to her and when she came at him for a hug he said, "I'm so dirty, Eowyn!" Looking him over she took her apron and dabbed at his cheek to clean a spot. And then she leaned forward carefully with her lips out, kissed him. "Treasure!" he said and covered it with his hand, winning a giggle from her.

Pushing the empty wheel-barrel, Eomer came down the alley and round the corner. He had been the only one allowed to watch the work and had even helped, but he had not seen the interior work from a distance yet. His face lit up when he looked at it, instantly seeing the loft in the back with a horse shaped ladder.

"I could not manage a place for your leather workshop on the floor," Feldor said, "But, up there is better, because there is a skylight you can open that will capture the sun until it sets, extending your working time."

For her fear of another fire, Gwen had forbidden him from using a lantern in the barn unsupervised and this was the best fix Feldor or find.

"There aren't many tools yet, but, I think once the harvest from the onions we planted comes in, you will find them in great demand here. They are the sweetest in Middle Earth."

His eyes were dreaming of it when Gwen asked, "How did the distribution go?"

"Some are starting to want to pay," he said. "It gets harder to refuse. I don't like it."

"That's a good sign, there is less need!" Feldor said.

"Go on in, children, see if your mother is awake from the smell of the pie. Bring her a piece, but you must wait until after dinner tonight."

Once they ran in, Gwen went to the barrel of water and dipped some out in a pot and pointed for Feldor to sit down on the stump. Back home he would take a swim to clean if ever dirty enough, but water was a premium in this village and weeks ago she admitted, she could not stand to see him waste it anymore.

As was the routine, he took his shirt off and sat while she removed her apron.

"I wish you were right," she said, dusting off what she could and then plucking off the big pieces of hay. "But I fear they think we offer charity as condescension, as if we are bragging that we have so much. I don't think they realize that it's only because my mother was so good at rationing that I am able to multiply what we actually have."

She dipped a cloth into the water and then began to wring it out onto his shoulders. He took a deep breath from the shock of it but enjoyed the refreshing coolness. When she started to rub around the back of his neck and down his back he relaxed into the relaxing ritual.

"Perhaps we should start selling what I bake instead of giving it away," she said. "Not for much, just to offer some dignity. We could do as you elves do and ask for barter in only what we can use. It could balance out and offer more recipes as well. What do you think?"

"I trust your judgment over mine," he said, relishing the rubbing on his sore muscles.

When done with his back, she lifted his hair and Feldor closed his eyes to brace himself. When she went around his ears with the cold cloth, he cringed.

"You really are sensitive," she said. "I'll be as gentle as I can, but there is dirt…"

As her warm finger picked within the fold of his point, Feldor sucked in a gasp and jumped. She laughed as he covered his ear and looked at her beautiful, bright smile. She was nearly as pale as the white flour dusted over her cheeks and chest, and her hair was loosening from its scarf.

Despite her being a mess, he felt once more the excitement of her closeness and the crevice above the neck of her dress did not go unnoticed. He looked away, unable to bring himself to explain why he was so tender to her touch. When with his own thumb he easily found the offending piece, he cleaned it himself and Gwen put her hands on her hips, indignant.

"What?" he asked.

With a wonderful tease she hit his bare arm with the wet cloth. "You were rough with your ear compared to my touch. I think you may be play acting for attention!"

"It is not the same when I do it," he said seriously and put his hands on his knees. "Leave them; I can do that part myself."

"I'm sorry, Feldor," she said sweetly with a delightful pout. She dipped the cloth again and stood in front of him until she nursed a smile from him.

Satisfied he'd forgiven her, she lifted his chin as she cleaned his face, neck and then squatted to wash his chest. He didn't think he was as dirty as he had been on days she'd taken less time and when she lifted his arm, caressing the inside of it, she seemed slightly distracted.

"Gwen," he said. She answered with a small hum, raising her brows but not looking at his eyes. "A few of the men have been stopping by regularly to follow the progress of the barn; some of the same who watched my patching of the roof and the window." She put his arm down, leaned over his leg, her hand notably on his thigh as she dipped the cloth in the water in again. She came back to work on his other side; lifting his arm and watching the water run down over his muscles before she began to trace its path, following it down to his stomach where she went over each square bulge.

The sensations she was creating were bringing an even stronger awareness to him and he hesitated what he was saying, letting his thoughts wander a moment to the pinkness of her lips. When she noticed he wasn't speaking, she met his eyes and he smiled at her. A rosy blush came to her cheeks.

"You enjoy washing me," he said. She froze and blinked, almost as if frightened. "I enjoy it too," he whispered. "But you are not being very efficient."

"Sorry," she laughed with a giggle and significantly sped up the process. She took in a breath and said, "Now what were you saying about the other men?"

"I was very grateful for their suggestions when I ran into architectural differences between the style to which I am accustomed and what was done here, but I was wondering… do you think it was condescending to them when I offered to teach them what I know?"

"That depends, how did they react?" she asked.

He explained it best he could and how his offers to help at their homes had been turned down.

"They likely are just wary of strangers. Maybe you should spend some time drinking with the men at night so they can…"

Before she could finish, a loud scream from inside caused her to jump up and rush inside. Feldor , still wet, followed. Eomer had his mother by the shoulders and was shaking her. Her eyes were open and her beautiful head bobbed back and forth, lifelessly.

Eowyn continued to scream and Gwen shouted at him, "STOP IT EOMER!" When he didn't she picked up the frantic little girl and rushed her out of the room.

The boy seemed in a panic, confused and desperate. Feldor remembered those feelings about his brother's death; disbelief, horror, fear. He came behind the boy and took his hands, freeing the corpse to fall still on her pillow, her hair covering her face now.

"She stopped moving!" Eomer cried. "She told us, 'I love you' and then she just stopped moving!"

After a few moments, Feldor gently turned Eomer around on the bed to face him and said, "She isn't here anymore. Her spirit moved on." The boy clenched his jaw, fighting it. "I'm so sorry…" Feldor felt his own eyes welling up in empathy. "It isn't fair… I know… and you can cry if you want to, it's okay, it is sad…"

The boy sat there, stiff at first but as soon as a tear fell down Feldor's cheek, Eomer threw his head back and began to wail. His grip on Feldor's arms was so tight and the sound of his grief filled the small room bringing a sob to Feldor too.

In the other room, Eowyn's cries became more intense and hearing her, Eomer started to stifle his own. He let go of Feldor's arms and looked to the door, biting his lip.

"To be strong for your sister, you must let yourself continue to grieve," Feldor said. "You can go be with her, though, let her know it's okay to be sad… you will carry on, together. You have each other, that is very, very special."

With determination, Eomer walked out to his sister. Feldor looked at the dead woman, his friend's wife. She had loved Eomund as deeply as an elf loves; deeply enough to die from sorrow. He had not realized it was possible for the race of men. Standing over her, he did as he remembered Haldir doing for his brother and set her in a peaceful position, closed her eyes, and pulled the blanket up over her head.

When he got to the doorway he saw that Eomer had climbed into Feldor's bed in the main room, and was resting with his arms around Eowyn and Gwen The three of them, all so young, all so fragile and all so precious to him. They were a vision, no, a purpose for him.

"What are we going to do?" Gwen whispered.

"Everything is going to be alright," he said confidently. Tiny Eowyn peered out at him from under Eomer's arm and Feldor added, "Your mother is with your father now. And we have each other. I will do everything I can to make sure you are always loved, protected and cared for."

Gwen gave him a tearful, weak smile of gratitude and her comfort of the children suddenly appeared stronger and more solid. For that instant, Feldor believed what he had said, even if it meant he had to sacrifice everything for them. His promise was momentous and overwhelming to him, but sincere.

And then came a knock upon the door. He exchanged looks with Gwen again and then moved toward it.

When he saw it was Gamling he suddenly remembered who these children were; not orphans, not like Gwen. The entire village, no, the entire kingdom had interest in their heritage.

"Some say they heard screaming," he said.

Feldor stepped outside with the man and when he closed the door behind him he said, "Do you still have access to the king's ear?"

….

"I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for my niece and nephew," the King said. "You have been good stewards of this house, you may raise a family here until Eomer is of age to reclaim it."

Feldor looked at Gamling with concern for the deception. The king's friend had claimed that though the entire town would vouch for his trustworthiness, Feldor should cover his ears and pose as a young man so as not to complicate Theoden's grief with matters of state.

"We are not a family," Gwen said, expressionlessly watching the children climbing on the royal wagon. "I have no family."

"Feldor was a friend of Eomund," Gamling explained. "I will explain to you the details after the funeral, if you like."

"Oh," Theoden said. He then glanced at Gwen briefly and then charged Feldor, "My brother in law did not make friends of fools or fiends, so I assume you will do right by her. Inform Gamling of your decision."

As they rode away, Gwen averted her eyes for a moment and then ran inside. But Feldor watched until Eomer turned and waved and it struck him; he might never see the boy again. Ever. The loss was a shock. It was one day after Theodwyn's death, and everything was disappearing.

"They're gone, Feldor," the widow across the road called from her door. "Life goes on. Loving what we have left is all we can do." She turned and went inside and for the first time he noticed that sweet old woman's roof looked in need of mending too and he wished he had spent less time on the barn.

"_There are always needs to be found among men,"_ Haldir had said.

When Feldor came back into the house, Gwen was pacing; bitter and angry.

"Thanks is all we get?" she said. "And an empty house?" She gestured to the leather working tools the king had made Eomer leave behind. "And broken dreams?" She leaned on the chair Feldor had made high enough for Eowyn to eat at the table with them. "Now what are we supposed to do? Just carry on? Act as if they were never in our lives while the king teaches them to forget us completely?"

Feldor did not know what to say to her, he shared her pain but had been taught not to verbalize complaints and fears.

"No great hall could contain the love we poured into them!" When he still had no words, she said, "Don't you feel anything, Feldor? Don't you care? You worked harder than most fathers do. You nurtured them, sang to them, played with them and provided for them, only to have them suddenly ripped away!"

"The king cannot help that his sister died… what kind of a brother would he be not to take them in? They are his family, they belong to him…"

"If family is so important, then you go back to yours! Go live at ease, in peace without even a frost touching your winters! And when you do, I hope I die just like Theodwyn!"

Gwen turned from him and went into the room that had belonged to the dead woman and slammed the door.

Feldor stared after her. Nobody had ever raised their voice to him like that; not even Darimaetha at her worst. In fact, he would have preferred a physical brawl to the ache in his heart.

He backed up into one of the dining chairs and sat; on something. He put his hand down and pulled out the toy horse he had carved for Eowyn. It was among the many items the king said that he would replace.

Fingering the discarded hours of love he had spent on a child that belonged to someone else, Feldor searched his heart on what to do. His thoughts were as unclear as if it was raining in his head and when darkness came he could not bring himself to light a lamp. Finally the door opened and Gwen stepped out, holding a candle on a stand.

Contrite and sorrowful she said, "I was horrible; I can't believe you're still here."

"You have gone through so much loss," he whispered. "I do not know how much the heart can handle, but your life is certainly testing the measure."

"I know I was cruel the way I said it, but I really don't think you should stay. You do belong with your kind. And more people than the king will believe we share a bed if we stay in this home together for long." He glanced up at her and she added, "If I am to find a noble husband, it must be convincing that you were here only for the children."

Thinking out loud he said, "That is the way of men, isn't it… No one will build you a house or share his home unless you share his marriage bed." Sardonically he said, "So who are your prospects?"

"How could I even look at a man when I wake to your face each day?" she asked.

She moved with her candle to sit across the room from him. They sat quietly for the longest time until he found courage to speak his heart.

"Back home, there is nothing for me to do, I am barely able to keep from being a burden. My parents are gone. My brother is dead. My mentor has his own family. And my best friend barely tolerates my presence."

"How can that be?" she asked. "You are the most loving, resourceful person anyone in this village has ever met! What kind of a kingdom do you live in that someone like you is so undervalued?"

"Save for three others, I am the youngest of nearly 2000 elves in Lothlorien. Most of them are over a thousand years old. What work I do that is a marvel to you, they would rate amateurish. My thoughts and words are simple to them… my love shallow. I am sure they miss me, especially my mentor… but they don't need me." Though fighting the emotion, he added with a quivering voice, "I didn't know until now how much I want to be needed."

Gwen got off her chair and came to him and without hesitation he parted his legs and took her in his arms. He held her so tightly burying his face in her soft bosom. It was the safest, warmest place he'd ever been and his sorrows nearly melted away.

When she knelt down to face him, he whispered, "When Haldir spoke of bonding to Elienne, I did not understand; even when we met her and saw how beautiful she was, and loving. And when they spoke of having elflings, even after I saw the beautiful twins… I did not understand."

He caressed her face with his hand and said, "But being here with you and the children… and feeling you against me… I do."

"What about Darimaetha? I thought you loved her?"

"What happened with her was confusing for me," he said. "But desire is not attraction, nor is it wanting someone to love you…It is the need to never let go of what you already have." He took in a breath as it became real to him and said, "I love you, Gwen."

"You do?" she asked, astounded. "My mother said elves couldn't love women… that you were only excessively kind to us…"

To prove it, Feldor leaned forward and kissed her. She was timid in her response until he pulled away. When she moved to kiss him back, his passion began to carry him; he broke through her lips with his tongue and lifted her onto him, his hands moving up under her skirt on her bare legs. Her weight on him, every move as she pressed herself against him was like tickling licks of flame; desire unbearable.

She felt as he did, it seemed an obvious choice to set aside everything else for this moment. A moment that would stave off the pain of separation from each other; except...

Stopping suddenly he gasped and pulled his hands out to put them on her shoulders. Looking into her flushed expression, he could see no light in her eyes save that which was reflecting his own.

"You are mortal," he said, to remind himself of what Haldir had said about Arwen and Estel; the Evenstar would have to choose a mortal life to be with a man. It would be selfish of Estel to let her.

Gwen, bit her lip; to an elf life she was but a child, and yet a complete woman to her own kind. Could she ever understand what he was giving up for her? Did it matter? And then the thought occurred to him.

"How does your kind marry?" he asked.

"You cannot marry me," she said. "You have to go home."

"We are about to bond! To my kind, this is marriage. And for me, this bond is forever. I will belong to you for as long as I live and where that carries me after you die, I cannot say…"

She grinned and said, "But you never even proposed to me, Feldor!"

"What did you think I was doing?" he asked. She raising her brows innocently and shrugged. He sighed, disappointed with himself for following passion over protocol.

"Oh… your eyes are dimming, Feldor," she said. "Just a moment ago they were bright as stars."

"Do you want to marry me, Gwen?" he asked. She nodded and he said, "Then touch my ears."

The candlelight behind her put her in silhouetted so that he could barely make out her expression, but as she ran the back of her finger along his lobe and up to his tip her pale face began to glow in the brilliance of his renewed desire. Her lips parted in awe. She then touched the other one and it was all he could do to keep his eyes open for the bliss she was enflaming.

"You're so beautiful," she said. With a finger inside each point, she leaned forward and kissed him, breaking all restraint within him.

When Feldor stood, Gwen wrapped her legs around him and he took this beautiful, generous young woman who loved him without restraint, who needed him more than anyone else in the world and he put her into his bed and made it so that she was his and nobody could take her from his heart; not in this life, or in any other.

After their passion rose to its peak, it fell with finality and the realization of his choice began to sink in. He fought the pain of losing eternity with the knowledge of what he had preferred to gain; this love. "I am not leaving you, Gwen, not ever."

Part 3 ~ Dari

Wearing the pale green embroidered gown she and Muriel had created, Dari sat on a moss covered fallen tree in the middle of the forest… alone. When Sully ran off, she held had bid the guard who summoned her here to fetch her closest friend. She did not hope he would come; she knew he would.

"Why am I here?" Rúmil asked from behind her when he arrived.

"Because I sent for you," she said. "And you came." He walked around her to face her and she saw he was wearing his practice armor, likely having come right from the fields of training. "I think what you meant to ask is, why do I need you?"

He found his answer in what she held. "Who is it from?" he asked.

"Feldor," she said. "I could not finish it alone."

Rúmil stepped forward and sat on a rock in front of her, resting his elbows on his knees, ready.

"Thank you," she said. "I am going to read aloud, from the beginning." She took a deep breath and then unrolled it.

"_To my beloved Darimaetha, sister and friend,_

_As you can see from this script, I am not a talent at letters and shame was the hidden reason I was insecure to write. But I owe you by duty and love to send words._

_The days here are long and full…"_

She read through the detailed descriptions of his daily life and his thoughts on the noble character of Gwen and the sweetness of Eomund's children. He included words to deliver to everyone, exploring aspects of the culture that the twins might find interesting. He passed on thanks to Elienne and Haldir from Gwen for what they had sent and how they had in turn blessed the entire village. He made special note to inform Haldir he was wrong that none sought to take advantage and in fact were reciprocal in their generosity. Sully, he said, had given up on the majestic mare and settled on Gwen's; though no foal was expected yet.

Dari looked to see Rúmil was resting his chin on his fingers.

"His writing changes here," she said.

"_I meant to send this letter when Haldir came to visit in September, but it is October first."_

"Now it is the tenth!" Rúmil exclaimed. "The training has become all consuming. He will be beside himself with guilt..."

"This next part is where I stopped," she said. He gestured for her, obviously grieved.

"_It was my hope that my presence will not be too terribly missed. However, with proof that I have been so easily forgotten, I am glad to write what my actions have decided for me." _

Dari put her hand out and Rúmil took it. "I do not know what comes next," she said. He squeezed.

"_The day after Theodwyn died, her brother came to collect the children. Gwen and I nearly drowned in our sorrow and with the knowledge of my parting looming over us it seemed too much to bear alone. So we did not._

_I hope that you will be happy for me, for your example prepared me for the awesome duty of mortality. Your long-suffering to love me in my need will be remembered in the drudgery that this life promises. _

_We expect her to deliver in early to late spring. _

_You are welcome to visit, but I do not expect it._

_With a broken, but full heart,_

_Feldor"_

Rúmil looked as numb as she felt. "Why does he assume he is mortal?"

"Perhaps penmanship is not the only subject he failed," Rúmil said and pushed roughly to a stand. "There is nothing to be done. The only solace is that his decision was made long before Haldir was meant to arrive; blame is not on neglect."

Dari rolled the scroll, dismayed by his despair. She thought he would be comforting her, not the other way around.

Quickly considering the grace lessons on sifting discord she remembered to seek the cause rather than sooth the symptoms. She must listen to his pain as it manifested without thinking of her own injured reaction.

She already knew that Rúmil's deepest hurts came through the devastation of seeing those he loved hurting, and his ranting served to validate her theory.

"I suspected that Feldor would want to stay," he said. "His mind has long been more on their race than our own. But this… to bond with a child… a man child even. It runs counter to everything he has been thought here and will hit our house harder than his brother's needless death!"

He was not worried about the house, but him whose shoulders held it up.

"Haldir is blessed to have a brother as loyal as you," she said.

Slowly he glanced at her, and his hostility waned. Then he asked, "I should be the one to tell him?"

Dari stood and approached, placing the letter in his palm. "Only if you can."

As his fingers closed over the scroll, they covered hers as well and his face betrayed his fear of the reaction. On whim she put her arms around his neck. His hand found the small of her back and his face the crook of her neck.

"We will bear this together," she said. "I will not let Feldor break off and away from us. We must double our efforts to hold him to us."

His expression neared astonishment and he said in a hush, "Like a thread, unexpectedly broken in a weave of rope."

"Exactly!" she said, delighted that he understood. "I intend to visit, whatever anyone else decides."


	20. Courting Danger

**Author's Note: The date is sometime in the summer of 3004**

**Part 1 ~ Dari**

"One leg before the other, Haldor," Dari said, pushing her nephew up the stairway with encouragement as much as her hand on his backside. "We have two more levels to go."

"Is that all?" he said.

Once there, just a few branches over from the Lord and Lady of the Wood, they were both surprised to see a gathering of Murial's students.

"Oh Haldor," Murial said, leading him to the most comfortable seat in their home. "Why did you bring him today, Darimaetha, the poor thing needs to be home resting… look at him!"

Haldor was instantly cooed over by a swarm of sweetness. A goblet of water was placed in his hand, a cool cloth lay on his forehead and his feet propped on a footstool.

"I must go back in the morning for another two trying days," he said, drinking in their sympathy. "I came today because it was now or not for a week."

Watching the scene with amusement, Dari moved to her room to hang her leggings to dry. "I've been training as well!" she teased the ladies who ignored her.

His smile was in a daze as he was peppered with questions about his training and growth. Dari sat across from him, observing the tactics used for bringing comfort to the ailing and esteem to the young. None of these ladies were authentically interested in Haldir's strategy of making aged warriors from young elves, their focus was entirely on making his son feel important.

"For every hour on the first day of each series, we must fight fresh opponents until we fall from exhaustion, at which time we break for a drink and rest," he said. "On the second day, a new opponent is provided every half hour and the first time we fall, we are given only four breaths until we begin again. We continue until we cannot continue."

Murial gave him a sigh of compassion. Dari could hear the lesson being practiced in her head: the key to comfort was not so much speaking as providing opportunity for expression.

"Then we are given an entire day to eat and recover. We will go on like this until we can fight for two days straight with a fresh opponent every quarter hour without falling," he said. "Then the next series begins… swiftness."

"Haldor just completed the twentieth day of his second series!" Dari commented when he took a drink from his water goblet. "He was very close to accomplishing a full two days this time." Murial nodded with a smile at Dari's encouragement.

"Yes," Haldor said. "I fought past sundown yesterday and did not sleep between, though I could not make it past half a day today…" To his credit he turned the attention on Dari. "Aunt Darimaetha has already passed on to her fourth series. She is quite accomplished, many say. There are ten series in all and she is nearly half there."

"My technique, endurance and speed training were tackled by Lord Rúmil," she said. "My focus has become raising my strength… I spend a lot of time tossing and striking large logs." She gave Haldor a smirk and said, "From time to time I am one of the fresh elves for the second series to fight."

"She even gave me a small cut," he said, lifting a sleeve and pointing to his elbow. "Which she is not supposed to do." Murial at once directed one of her students to the medicine ointments which were then gingerly applied.

Once repaired, Haldor said graciously, "Not to refuse this attention, but my time here is short and I was lured for the opportunity to hear about Feldor, not to play these lady games."

Dari grinned that he recognized he was an object lesson. One by one they thanked him for the conversation and opportunity to practice. Some showed legitimate interested in following up with him later, but he declined for a full schedule.

Once they were all gone, he leaned forward anxiously, wasting no time. "Did you see the baby and the barn he built and eat some of Gwen's pies he mentioned in the letter?"

It had been a month since she and Rúmil had returned and since Haldir had forbidden discussion of it in his presence she was relegated to fill in the family only when they visited her.

"Leodred was the size of both you twins put together when you were born. He was the largest baby your uncle Rúmil had ever seen… nearly twelve pounds when we arrived and he was only a month old!" Having no frame of reference, Haldor tried to be impressed and nodded for her to go on. "The barn is… boring, he had to build it on a frame that was there so it is more function than form. And the pies, very tart, but edible. He was glad we brought sugar, for all the bragging he did, there are many comforts he misses."

"Why didn't Haldir go with you?" Murial asked.

Rather than look at her, Darimaetha was locked in Haldor's worried eyes. Only the family knew of his father's deep offense.

"The last time he went with Feldor," Dari said carefully, "Haldir was stopped at the city gates because his identity as March Warden was seen as a threat. He spent a night out in the rain while Feldor visited so perhaps he thought his presence would not be any more welcome."

"Oh," Murial said. "Well, what did he tell Lord Rúmil to say to his student? Surely he can't approve of Feldor marrying and making a child with a young mortal girl?"

Haldor covered his mouth with his hand, concealing if he was ashamed of his father or just uncomfortable.

"M'lady," Dari said to Murial. "I do not believe Haldir would want us to portray our assumptions about his behavior and regard for Feldor."

"Of course he wouldn't," Murial said. Haldor clenched his jaw and his whole demeanor turned tense. To him, Murial said, "I am testing my student, not probing into your father's business." Haldor looked up at her nervous and Murial smiled. "I know exactly the offense Haldir feels about this and that he is taking a lot of it out on his student warriors. None have complained because there is such need for haste in their training."

"How do _you_ know how he feels?" Haldor asked, almost in accusation.

"You'll have to ask him," Murial answered. And then to them both she said, "That is the only answer you need. You two responded more with your faces than your words, giving away that there is discord within the family. Do not take Haldir's burden on your shoulders. And do not ever feel trapped into answering a question."

Dari was warmed by Murial's wisdom and she glanced at Haldor to see him sitting back in curious introspection.

A light wrapping on the door drew Murial from her seat in almost too quickly a fashion to believe more company was not expected.

"Another guest?" Haldor asked.

"This home runs over with company like a dwarf's mug of ale," she explained. "Until witnessing the passers through here, I failed to realize that Haldir's high and aloof home was intentional. Lord Rúmil's nerves would never last long in this central position."

"Nor would mine," Haldor said, standing with effort. She rose with him and meant to offer to walk him home when she saw a stunning sight.

Before her was the lovely face of a Darkwood elf. His ebony black hair was pulled back in work fashion, his bulging arms bare, just as she remembered and his silver-gray Lorien tunic was covered with a finely embroidered chef's apron. He did not falter as she looked him over, struggled to catch her breath.

"M'lady, Darimaetha, I hope I am not intruding." His voice was lower than she remembered and more fluid, like the deep flowing of a great river that once was a shallow stream.

"Elendel," she gasped. "I thought you were gone from this world." She took a step forward, unsure of how to respond.

"Galadir convinced me to leave home with him. When we arrived the tragedy of your friend was so near and I did not know your regard for me so I thought not to burden you… And then his brother was another loss… I have kept to the kitchens and made myself useful waiting for the day to introduce a new variable into your life."

Attempting to have presence of mind she answered, "You are so thoughtful. Of course you are not intruding, I am happy to see you."

He put his hand on his heart and said with a light laugh, "I am very relieved."

She mirrored his chuckle and then became aware of her manners. "M'lady , Haldor, this is Elendel an acquaintance of mine from Darkwood. He was a chef assistant."

He placed his hands behind his back and gave each of them a noble nod, receiving a glance from Murial as if she knew him well.

"I had only just graduated to full baker when we left home, but have gladly accepted relegation back to apprentice, given the higher level of skill that abounds here." To Haldor he said, "It is an honor to make your acquaintance."

"Won't you stay for some conversation?" Dari asked.

"I apologize to all of you," he said, "For I am here on errand and have no time for fellowship."

Dari felt immediately disappointed and thought he was backing up to leave, but instead he made a gesture to someone outside the door and was handed a large platter.

"You may set it here," Murial directed, discretely.

He did and lifted the cover. Under it Dari saw twelve beautiful cakes, decorated with jelly and sugar crust ornamentation. They glistened like jewels and gems and she covered her mouth, speechless.

"Might I ask of you to accept this gift, Darimaetha?" he said. Lifting her eyes from the treats, he smiled at her with satisfaction as she nodded. Elendel set the cover back in place, turned to her and asked, "Might I also call again, perhaps regularly, to reestablish our past connection and strengthen it for future friendship?"

"That would be lovely," she said. She detected something beyond the warm smile he gave her but he was gone before she could ascertain it. Dari took a seat, staring up at Haldor who seemed as confused as she was overwhelmed.

"Well that is how it is done!" Murial said with a light laugh. She went to uncover the cakes and peering in she said, "He must have had plenty of schooling from a master."

"He has been baking for hundreds of years," Dari said.

Murial took out the palm sized cake and placed it on one of a stack of large leaves. "Not in baking," she said and walked over to Dari. She placed the leaf in her hands and sat down beside her to explain.

"He waited for a grand entrance where he would not be competing for his audience," Muriel said. "He came dressed lovely in a way that accentuated his particular features, but not flamboyant so as to announce himself too proudly." She pointed to the cake in Dari's hand and said, "He offered a thoughtful, beautiful gift that both expressed his affection and showcased his talent… And then while you were still recovering from his dazzling approach, he swooped in and arranged further meetings. And being fully honest about his intentions, we cannot look back upon your agreement as any sort of misunderstanding."

To Haldor, Murial said, "I might recommend this demonstration for submission to annal of anecdotes on quality courting."

"Courting?" Dari said, gazing at the cake. Her thoughts drifted from his departing words to their last encounter in Darkwood where she had initiated flirtation. "Oh no…"

"Now that you have your wits about you, do you want to change your mind?" Murial asked, making too light of it for Dari's liking.

"Can I do that politely?" she asked.

"It would be very easy. Accept him only when others are present so as to indicate the nature of your interest is not intimate."

"I will need just as much schooling as he has had," Dari said. "I beg of you to teach me."

"Do not worry, that is why I am here!" Murial said. "I have had much experience of my own along with what I have learned from watching others. Firstly, you must not lead him to believe you are more serious than you are. No matter how winning he is; rejection hurts worse when one mistakenly thinks love is already won."

It rang true for her own experience assuming Rúmil's affections were romantic and caught up in the moment Dari asked, "Like Haldir did with you?"

The subtle wince in Murial's expression reminded Dari who else was in the room.

"My father courted you?" Haldor asked. "That is how you know him so well."

Murial exercised patience, but Darimaeth felt need to salvage her error. "There is no scandal, it was centuries before he met Elienne and she knew before they were bonded."

Gently her mentor corrected, "Allow Haldor to decide for himself how he feels."

"I am not bothered by it," Haldor said. "Except… I do want to know how it happened that you are not together. You are in every way perfect, everyone thinks so. And though I love my mother, even I can see you are much more mature and elegant than she; a better, more equal match to my father."

"You should not say such things!" Dari said, hoping for her mentor to agree; but Murial remained silently curious, and not at all proud of the comparison.

"Mother has said many times how she admires Murial and envies her grace," Haldor defended. "What is it if I acknowledge as much?" To Murial he said, "Am I rude to suggest my father is of higher stature than Orele?"

"If you were any less sweet and innocent about it, then yes, it would be rude. But as your honesty has to it a tone of naivety, I will excuse it." She glanced at one of them and then the other and then took a breath and said, "Because I know Haldir is as humble as he is noble, I will tell you, but you must promise to seek your father's perspective before forming any ill opinions on him."

Haldor nodded, though with trepidation.

"Orele's interest in me did not make itself known to him until after Haldir began courting me. Orele admitted that he was in no way equal to my new suitor, but declared he would not give up until I at least considered him. Haldir is… an overwhelming presence. And he was very anxious in his proposals. I was confused and encouraged both, thinking it would help me to decide. In the end, your father changed his mind the moment he realized he had competition. That is how I knew I belonged with Orele. It is how I knew your parents were meant to be. Your father was so taken with your mother that he stood up to a Prince to win her… a much more charming and subtle prince at that."

"Oh Murial," Dari said shaking her head.

"Who?" Haldor said. "Not Legolas!"

"Does your family not discuss anything?" Murial asked. "I thought with all the jesting that happens in that house it was known. So you do know, it was a silly misunderstanding quickly dropped once your mother's true interest became apparent."

Haldor put his hand on his head, paused a moment and then said, "My life suddenly makes sense." He closed his eyes and said, "Lien must never know." Dari was going to ask him about that, but he stood and sighed. "If I were not so tired, I think I might say this better, Aunt Dari, but given what I have learned here, when uncle Rúmil finds out about Elendel, I think all questions will be answered."

Dari glanced at her mentor who was quietly withholding her recommendation until it was sought. She did not need to seek it, Dari knew the right course.

She stood before her nephew and asked, "Please do not tell him, Haldor. If love can come more than once and a true bond can be found after a heart has been broken by another, then I will proceed with this courtship, on its own merits; not as a test." She looked at Murial whose expression was sweet pride in her decision. "He will be happy for me anyway. Rúmil does love me, so much that he would want me to be happy. But not so much that he would ever compete for me. That is how I know we are not meant to be."

Haldor kissed her cheek and whispered, "He may be happy _for_ you, but he won't _be_ happy."

As gently as she could, and with a heart broken over it, Dari said, "That is his choice."

…..

The first few months Elendel did not show himself often, just enough, to keep himself in her mind and wanting more of his company. Even when his visits became regular and his presence on Sundays was more expected than anticipated, and even with her mentor feeding her the constant explanation of his strategies, Dari was not any less affected by the serious, yet subtle wooing he employed. Her mentor insisted it was not just his patience, but because the most winning of any of his charms was the one impossible to fabricate; his sincerity.

Waiting on the bridge at dusk as Elendel had requested, she mused on the past few years of their friendship. Her focused study on grace was only slightly distracted by her pursuit of training with the warriors, a preoccupation he found fascinating. He would watch her at times and discuss it, without any inclination of his own to take up a sword. He preferred using knives more for icing than slicing, he'd say.

"My parents were turned orc, so I will not fight their kind," he had stated without any indication of trauma. He had not known them to feel a loss and had simply made a decision to avoid the conflict he might feel. "There are nearly a thousand warriors, archers and wardens," he insisted, "But not more than twelve dedicated completely to the art of food preparation."

He made her smile and at times blush and he never failed to prefer her in company. Murial said it was a sign of true dedication and nobody would make any mistake on his intentions, even if he had not yet spoken a proposal in words. Tonight she had complied to his request to wear something special. Though her mentor said it would be ill form of him to be so predictable, Dari felt he meant to ask her something and what else could it be?

She watched the fish in the water below, silver and slick, swimming in circles. How simple their lives were. Elendel made her feel that way. Life did not have to be complicated; it could be pleasant and enjoyable. The brush of his finger against her arm as he took to her side filled her with a light chill and she flushed to see how lovely he was under the lantern lights.

"Forgive me for keeping you waiting," he whispered, not offering an explanation. His eyes looking her over, subtly spoke compliments and his sigh exhaled an exclamation of her beauty.

She knew by now of his interests, his childhood and his training and he thought he knew of hers from watching her grow from babe to coming of age. They spoke superficially of her time here in Lorien and her travels, but also of history and predictions of the dark days to come. Though they had shared so many words, and she had grown as comfortable around him as any in her own family, it struck her that she felt no closer to him than that first day.

He finally turned from her, clasping his hands and leaning on the railing. He wore a silver silk tunic and its embroidery glimmered around his round shoulders. She had not seen it before and presumed he had either had it made or brought it out for the occasion.

Feeling playful she said, "I see even your dress tunics are void of sleeves."

"Of course," he said. "I see the way you looked at my arms, so I had them all removed." She stared at him a moment and when the corner of his mouth lifted, she smiled. "In all truth, I have spent so much time near ovens that I never grew accustomed to ornate drapery around my wrists or dangling from my elbows." He turned to her, leaning on one arm and said, "Once when you were ten you asked me to lift you with one arm." He put his arm out over the bridge and added, "You grew tired before I did and you never asked again."

"I don't remember," she said.

He put his arm down and clasped his hands again; his expression growing more serious. She thought it was likely coming and braced herself. Murial said she could delay the answer for years if she chose, and so she really only wanted to get the proposal over so she could ponder how he said it and how it made her feel.

"What happened to you, Dari?" he asked. She pressed her brows together. "Before you went to the Easterlings, you were like Liendriel, full of life and love. You came back different; like a candle, snuffed by a cover."

She wondered, was four years really enough for him to be so bold? She turned, looking over the water, fighting her desire to flee and reminding herself what Murial had said; she was never obligated to answer any question or do anything that made her uncomfortable. Inquiries were not accusations; he cared for her, that is all his asking it meant.

The relief of not feeling trapped help her construct a truth she could share.

"My father hoped my love might bring them light. He did not ever understand that nobody can make another person or culture chose to walk a path that they themselves do not want to go." Suddenly she felt in her heart that she was trying to convince herself to let go of Rúmil. "It does not matter how lovable you are, if someone does not know how to love. They did not, and they hurt me. I was too young to understand that it wasn't my fault. I do now, though... when someone loves you it is because they are capable of loving you."

"What about the prince who wanted to marry you?" he asked. "I thought loving you too much was the problem and that it was_ you_ who did not love _him_."

She took in a breath and said, "No… My father broke up that engagement as soon as he learned of it. I was far too young anyway, even if he had not been a man child."

Elendel grew very quiet and when the silence became uncomfortable she wondered if she had said too much. What did it matter? If he rejected her now it would save them both from future parting.

"Did you love him?" he asked.

"The prince? No, I did not know what love was," she said.

"Do you know now?" he asked. It was a sincere question in his eyes. He was not charming her, he really did want to know. She shook her head and felt her lip quiver, looking down. Standing up straight he said, "What pain have I awoken?"

It was the first time she had come near to any sadness in his presence and his touch on her arm was comforting.

"I do not trust my heart," she admitted. "You have been so gracious, but you know firsthand how I was. Flirting and throwing myself at elves, hoping someone would love me… I mixed desire and attraction without any depth of compassion. I have changed but only to learn rules that help me be respectful. And yet even then Feldor's friendship was too much. I read innuendo where there was only kindness." She looked into Elendel's dark, wondering eyes and poured herself out before him. "There is nothing more perfect than your approach and yet, despite what my Murial says, a part of me deep inside doubts that you are actually courting me. That there could be anyway in this world someone as wonderful as you would desire me."

She hesitated, realizing she had given up his game and without any of the grace she had been taught. She waited for him to recover, watching him pull back carefully reflective.

"Are you?" she asked. "Or am I a fool?"

"I was," he said, and then shook his head. "I mean, I am… but…" He looked at his hand and made a fist, rubbing his thumb on his fingers. It was the first sign of nerves she had seen him show. "Were you…or… are you… is it possible that you are in love with Feldor?"

"He is bonded," she said.

"Love sometimes lingers for those gone," he said.

"No, I am not in love with Feldor," she said definitively.

"Then who?" he asked facing her. "Who is it that you save your most intimate secrets for and who is on your mind when we walk too close at night?"

Frozen at his sudden dismissal of all pretension, she instantly preferred this side of her friend and spoke plainly back to him as reward. "Rúmil, of course," she said. "Who else? He saved me from doom, trained me, elevated me to a station above where I would ever have aspired. He does not and cannot love me back, but my heart is stubborn. It will not let go of him, however I plead."

Instead of fury or sadness, Elendel actually appeared invigorated. "Never more worthy an opponent could I have. From hearing you speak, he could wrestle a balrog with his bare hands, but my challenge is even worse than that." Dari glared at him, thinking him gone mad and he smiled. "I will win him to me and gain his blessing for our courtship. If you still do not fancy me after your mentor has consented to you that I am the better match, only then will I consider a refusal."

He stepped back and added, "Mind you, I will only consider it; it is more likely I will attempt another strategy to prove myself to you."

He was off and away from her before she could catch her breath and it wasn't until she arrived home that she realized, from what Haldor spoke of it, Rúmil was disinterested in her collection of new friends and thus may not yet know about the courtship.

…

It took all of three days for the conversation to produce a response. Dari was walking with two others on her way home from a visit when they suddenly grew quiet and stopped. She had been watching her footing, as usual on the steps without railings, and did not see the figure standing below a lamp before them.

Rúmil was near statue still, staring at her eerily and when she turned to excuse herself she saw her friends had already stepped away. She turned back to face him and he took her arm and led her rather forcefully around the tree on an outlook for their privacy from the city view.

Once they were alone he let go and she rubbed her arm, more in offense than pain.

"I have had three visits in three days from a certain chef from Darkwood," he announced. She almost laughed and looked down, pressing her lips together. "Any would say he is an absolutely ignoramus to approach me so tenaciously. But, to his credit, he somehow knew to impress me with honesty and won me as a receptive audience on all three occasions."

She searched his face, stunned there was not sarcasm to be found.

"Despite all of that, you should have come yourself," he snapped. "It would have saved him the effort and me the grief."

"What grief, you said you were receptive!" she said.

"The grief of being evasive, Dari!" he said. He stepped forward to her and asked, "Why have you not told him what happened to you?"

Shamefully she stepped closer to the trunk of the tree and leaned on it.

"He has a right to know, he will find out anyway when you bond."

She did not like that he used 'when' and asked, "You know him 3 days and gave him your blessing?"

"He cannot have what I have no right to give," he said. "I told him as much. I have no opinion on the matter of your bonding, I never have. If you do not trust your own heart, than he should not either; but there is no place for a third party in such decisions. And so you know, I am going on journey to Rivendell in six days. I do not plan to be back for ten years. I hope in that time you will have relieved this poor elf of his pitiful pursuit of passion one way or another."

He swiftly disappeared around the tree and when she followed she saw only a blur of his form dashing up the steps toward his own home.

**Part 2 ~Haldir**

Haldir sat in one of the many seats of honor at the presentation his own daughter had arranged. Though it was a birthday party for Legolas it had become also an event honoring Lien's first officially organized event, complete with catering by Dari's new friend and a surprise musical performance for which they were all waiting.

Legolas was assigned the position of announcing who was to sit where along with notes that Lien had written for him to read. Haldir had to admit it was a fine trick to play on him when most of the lines he read turned out to be bold insults concealed in clever compliments.

"Lady Muriel is to sit in the closet," he read and then laughed. Having become accustomed to the tone, the audience was with him quickly. "It says that," he went on, reading the scroll. "And that she is to plug her ears and hum the chant of Galahad during the entire performance so as not to ruin her own fine pitch. That is all it says!" He looked around and asked Orophin, "Where is your closet?"

Haldir enjoyed seeing it was to Dari that Murial looked to when enjoying the strange directions. His sister-in-law smiled brightly in return; such an odd friendship to work so well.

From behind the curtain, Lien's voice called out, "There is an asterisk!"

"Ah, I see it, yes," Legolas said. He followed down to the bottom and read the tiny script. "Or she may sit next to Aunt Dari, it is her choice."

"I think I will sit by my student," Murial mewed.

Elienne and Haldor were next to last, both placed by Haldir, with one of his hands directed over her mouth and the other over his son's eyes. "Only until after the performance," Legolas read. "So that she might not sing and he might not run out when he sees who is entertaining him."

"Who could it be?" Haldor asked. Haldir pushed him down and wrapped his large hand around his eyes, leaving his wife untouched.

"There is only one name left, and that is me," Legolas said. "I am to sit in the guest chair of honor after I pull back the curtain… but, we never found a place for Rúmil." To the curtain he whispered, "You forgot your uncle!"

"Pull back the curtain," she said.

"He is standing in the back alone… Lien, that is not funny."

"I am no fool, my love, do as I say."

It was odd for Haldir to hear his daughter use that term of endearment, but seeing that Legolas seemed as thrown by it as he, he thought it merely more play. When he pulled back the curtain it was only Lien sitting there and an empty seat. Haldir had been told she was playing but not who might accompany her.

"Uncle Rúmil?" she said with a smirk.

Everyone turned and watched Rúmil march, as if to his death, up through his home flet to the miniature stage Orophin had constructed. He ducked under the lamps there and sat, picking up what Haldir now noticed was the lute that had belonged to their mother. Haldir glanced at Orophin who exchanged the same questioned expression, each wondering if the other had known.

"Can I look now?" Haldor asked from the floor in front of Haldir. Rúmil glanced at his nephew and smiled before meeting Haldir's eyes with a more sober warmth. In that instant the weight of gloom that had been pressing Haldir was briefly lifted. Of all his failures and loss he'd endured of late, spurred on and complicated by his arrogance, seeing his brother had healed enough to delight in music again, and even participate in it, was nearly worth it all. He only wished Feldor and Lamer had been here to see it. They would never know there was so much more to his brother than bitterness.

"It was a joke Ada!" Lien said to him. "Let him see!"

Haldir found himself and let go of Haldor's eyes. His son laughed out at once on seeing Rúmil, giving his sister a big grin of approval. Then, as they began, Haldir noticed his son looking so long and conspicuously at his aunt that it drew Haldir's eyes as well to her. Though his sister-in-law sat with her dark haired friend and her new mentor, she was completely taken by what she saw before her; emotional even.

Beside her Elendel did not fail to notice. He crossed his bare arms and averted his eyes. It was painful to even witness the poor elf's concession that Dari's heart was already spoken for and Haldir scolded his dark thought that he would miss the fine cakes he brought to their gatherings.

The piece Lien had chosen had no voice to it, but the two lutes complimented one another well enough. Though it was clear neither was extremely accomplished, the surprise was enough for all to forgive any errors.

When the performance was complete, everyone permitted Legolas the time to give Lien his appreciation and out of the corner of his eye Haldir saw her drawing the prince to the door, insisting she had a gift for him. It was just like his daughter to overdo everything, but given Legolas had set the standard for gift giving in her mind, Haldir did not fault either of them and turned his attention on his brother.

"He seems more pestered than congratulated," Elienne said beside him. "Why is it that others cannot see he does not want the attention? It is no wonder he hides."

"He put himself out there, tonight, Elienne," Haldir said. "He knew this was coming."

"Where is my niece?" Orophin finally announced. "Has the guest of honor flown off with her?"

"I will find them!" Haldor said. "I want to see this gift she has planned. She would not tell anyone."

Haldir noted after his son left them that Rúmil had excused himself from the crowd before Dari and Elendel could offer their compliments. In fact, he was coming Haldir's way with determination in his eyes. Once to them, he did not give Haldir a chance to speak.

"I am leaving for Rivendell," he said. "I apologize for the late notice on scheduling… but I leave tonight. I cannot delay."

"I need you here," Haldir started, a bit louder than he should have.

When the eyes of all turned on them, Rúmil clenched his jaw and suggested, "Let us step out for a moment?"

Haldir took in a deep breath and noted the cheer leaving the room. He let it out slowly and nodded. To the gathering, with a smile he said, "Do not mind us, nothing should dampen the mood of this merry evening. Not even my lute playing rain cloud here."

He followed Rúmil out and to the bridge between their homes. When he stopped, Rúmil turned and said, "I have never been closer to feeling healed, Haldir… I need to speak with Elrond. I think I understand what plagues my heart now. You know I would stay if you truly needed me, but I ask so little for myself."

"What is it that you think plagues you?" Haldir asked.

Before he spoke, Haldor was coming towards them, his face ashen and distorted in disgust.

"Son, what is it?" Haldir asked, grabbing his arm as he tried to pass by.

Haldor struggled, shaking his head, fear loomed in his eyes before he said, "You'll have to ask them yourself."

Haldir looked up toward his home. His heart seemed to stop as he let go of the young elf's thick arm and took long strides to the open door.

There, sitting on his chair sat Legolas, and in his arms, with her lips on his was…

"Lien," Haldir said.

"Oh Ada," she cooed with a pout. "You are interrupting Legolas' gift. I am showing him how much I love him."

The prince did not even move.

"Show me how much you love me, Lien, and obey me when I say, come here."

She seemed confused and got up slowly. She approached him, too mature looking for her young age of twenty-two.

"Go back in with your mother, I need to speak with Legolas."

"But…" she started.

"Do as he says, Lien," Legolas called without turning around.

Once she was gone, it was only Rúmil's presence behind him that stayed his hand. His mind clouded with the rage he had felt for Feldor's impudence, the shame at having not taught him well enough, the horror at an elf leaving his kind for a mortal girl, humiliation at every imagined word spoken behind his back, and devastation of his own fault of distraction and neglect.

But this was not Feldor and a girl, this was _Legolas_ and Haldir's _daughter_! How much more innocent and pure was the heart of a young elfling? How much more damage could be done to her by early introductions of romance before she was ready… by a prince who should know better!

"On your feet," Haldir ordered. Legolas did exactly as he was told. "Face me," Haldir said. When the prince turned, he was petrified in guilt. By all rights Haldir felt justified to duel him, or better yet, to throw him from the flet to the ground below. But his daughter loved this trollop, maybe even more than she loved her own father; a trade in affections he should not have had to endure for multiple decades, at the very least. "Have you your kit?" he asked.

"I will fetch it for him," Rúmil said.

"And my sword as well," Haldir ordered. Rúmil hesitated a moment and then was gone.

In that short time it took to run his brother to the weapons storage, Haldir and Legolas were locked eye to eye, no words spoken, no muscle moved but an eternity of communication and challenge between them.

When Rúmil returned, Haldir turned and took his sword and sheath, strapping them on as he said, "Give him his accouterments and see that he follows me, five steps behind to ensure my sword cannot reach him."

Below his breath he heard Rúmil warn the prince, "I would do as he says. I will accompany you."

"No, this is between us," Legolas said. "It is a long time coming, I'm afraid."

He likely thought he was brave, but Haldir measured it as foolish; for once alone he knew not what he would do. By the time they made it down the steps and through the city to the north east path to Mirkwood, Legolas figured it out.

"I should have at least said good bye," Legolas said. Haldir stopped walking suddenly and heard the prince lock his feet in place as well. "You will have to explain why I left. I could have made up a reason."

Haldir turned, hand on his sword and Legolas' eyes grew wide. His breath could be heard as plainly as the guards in the flets above who discretely made their presence known.

"Are you frightened?" Haldir asked. "Because you're breathing as loud as dwarf."

The prince looked up at them, and said, "Not too much so to find privacy."

Again, impressed, Haldir led on until they were well out of hearing from any of his guards and could speak freely elf to elf.

When Haldir turned, all he had in his heart to do was stare at him. Handsome, charming, royalty; and yet he was a renegade. Coming and going as he pleased from kingdom to kingdom without any responsibility or plan for his life. Even if she was of age, what kind of suitor was he?

"I cannot fight you," Legolas said. "And more importantly, I _will_ not. But I will explain…"

"How," Haldir said, taking a step. "When anything you say feel like worms eating my ears."

"She misunderstood…"

As quick as a flash of lightning Haldir unsheathed his sword and though he kept the point down, he did shout, "Do not dare blame my daughter for this outrage, you are hundreds of years her elder. You should have known! You should have seen where her affection was going and headed her off, set her straight."

"I should have," Legolas said, backing up with his hands raised. "But so should have _you_!" Haldir felt his sword lifting and Legolas watched it, brazen as he added, "She is _your_ daughter, where have you been spending your time that she could even entertain these thoughts without telling you? Any father, who loves his daughter should be her closest confident!"

The accusation against his competency did not wound nearly as much as the doubting of Haldir's love. It should have been enough to push him over the edge, except for one thing, he was right. Only someone who loved her, in whatever capacity, would dare speak such deadly truth to Haldir. He let his sword drop slightly; was his favorite adversary out-loving Haldir in this most sacred of relationships? It was both horrific and reassuring.

"She promised herself to me, Haldir," Legolas said.

Of course she did, Haldir thought. Lien would have seen his love; she misses nothing.

"I was too stunned to know what to say to her," Legolas said. "And when she started kissing me..."

"Do not speak of _that_!" Haldir ordered, raising his sword again.

"If you want me to leave, I will," Legolas said. "I do not blame you... just know, this is not what I wanted. She has misunderstood my intentions." It hurt worst of all to hear that. His daughter knew nothing of rejection! Haldir narrowed his eyes. "If you will allow me, I will go back and I will tell her it cannot be. I will make it right."

"I want you to leave," Haldir said, livid more now than ever. "And I _order_ you to leave. In fact… by the power I hold as March Warden over these lands, I declare you ignoble and unfit to enter the sanctity of our borders. Never you dare come back to this Wood."

"You can't do that!" Legolas said, indignant. "This is a personal family matter, not a matter of _state_!"

"I _can_ and I _am_!" Haldir said. "I banish you from Lothlorien, Legolas Greenleaf on pain of death."

"Think of what you're saying, do not be rash… you will lose your station for such injustice! I will speak to the Lord and Lady myself!"

Haldir could not take his authority being questioned or his position threatened and he took off running at the prince, underestimating Legolas swiftness at retrieving his bow. He stopped in his tracks with an arrow aimed at his head and waited, wondering if the prince would dare.

He could see Legolas's hands shaking, as they faced each other down. Haldir had done so much wrong, hurt so many he loved. Was this how it was to end? Was it fitting that he who thought he was building an army to fight evil would be taken down by the darkness in his own heart that had sought the death of the elf his dear daughter loved more than anyone? He almost wanted it; wanted it to end before he has to see her hurt. He thought about taking one more step when Rúmil's voice called out behind him.

"I have my bow, Legolas." At first a dark grin came over Haldir's face, watching as the panicking prince darted his eyes to the voice and back at his target. And then Rúmil added, "You may go safely, I will not let my brother harm you."

The blood drained from Haldir at the betrayal, but Legolas did not hesitate, he took two steps back with his drawn bow and then, out of swords reach, put it down and sprinted off home.

Without even acknowledging his brother, Haldir sheathed his sword and headed back. He did not go home, he went for the carpenters tool shed and helped himself to an axe. Its weight was welcome in his hands, giving him the comfort of a heavy tool to do the business he intended.

Always there behind him, Rúmil followed as witness. It was time. Time to chop down this ridiculous promise he had made; an oath proudly sworn in front of Elrond's council. He did not care if being careless meant he would damage the tree and break his word to the prince. For all he cared he would never see him again. And whatever anyone else thought of Haldir, Legolas did not deserve such a bow.

When it fell, creaking and crackling to the ground, it hit with a thunderous thump in the night that shook the meadow and likely part of the city.

The next morning the two older brothers both sat staring at the fallen tree in the light of the pink dawn, knowing the questions and scandal that was to befall them when the city awoke.

"Better Legolas's tree than Legolas," Rúmil said. "And I suppose this means I won't be going to Rivendell."

"You should go," Haldir said, numb. "I can't hide this. And I can't ask you to cover for me again, not when you have your own life to live."

"What life," Rúmil snarled. "Even if I do go to Rivendell and Elrond helps me sort through my mess of a mind, what good will it do me? We're all going to leave Middle Earth soon anyway… or die fighting Sauron."

Haldir glanced at Rúmil and for the first time his brother's fatalism inspired no compassion in him. "How dare you," he said. His brother was surprised, but Haldir did not let up. "After all I've been doing to prepare, all the elves of this realm have been working for, you so swiftly count it as futile?"

"It isn't futile if you are getting something out of it… and _you_ are. You feel important. Good for you, Haldir. Be important. Die a hero."

"What is it that plagues you still?" Haldir asked. Rúmil just stared ahead at the tree. "Is it the way Dari was looking at you while you were playing? Just the way mother used to? Do not think I have not noticed the resemblance, not in physical appearance, but in manner and…"

"It does not matter, Dari is marrying Elendel," Rúmil said. "He loves her. It's a good match. I do not need her to be healed. _Healing_ is my _priority_. First things first."

And it was then that Haldir realized, his brother was upset that Dari had not waited for him. Lien was right! He was about to say it when a high pitched voice cried across the meadow.

"The tree!"

Haldir and Rúmil both turned to see Liendriel galloping through the field toward them. Rather than be distressed or broken over it, her face was lit up in the morning son, smiling and cheerful in whatever presumed reason she imagined.

"We do not deserve her love," Rúmil said.

"No, but neither does Legolas," Haldir grumbled. He glanced at Rúmil and his brother gave him a chuckle.

"So it is finally time to make the bow?" she asked, coming to his feet out of breath. She looked around and asked, "Where is he? Where's Legolas?"

"I sent him home," Haldir said.

Her cheer faded and she asked, "Why?"

"Did you really promise yourself to him without asking me?" he asked.

Innocently she nodded. "Uncle Rumil told Elendel that it is up to the she-elf to decide her own heart, not her father or her mentor."

"But aren't you a little young?" Haldir asked gently.

She rolled her eyes at him and then, as if _he_ were the child she said, "It is not for right away, Ada. I will love you for a thousand years before I am ready to do something as _silly_ as bonding. I only promised Legolas to make sure he never had to worry about me falling for the charms of another elf the way Aunt Dari has." She looked at Rúmil and added, "My heart breaks for you every time I see Elendel. As lovely and winning as he is, and as delicious his cakes, he just _won't do_. He _has_ to go. He is ruining everything!"

As the tears began to sting his eyes, Haldir's daughter blurred before him and beside him his loyal brother stood and once more covered for him.

"I'm certain Legolas love for you will bring him back before a thousand years is up," Rúmil said. "Until then we should create a quiver to hold his arrows and I think you should paint the design."

She gasped and said, "I already have it sketched! Until now I could not think of an appropriate application…" She pulled Rúmil down and spoke into his ear in whisper. When his brother laughed, Haldir had to wipe a tear before she saw.

"We will go work on the quiver, father, another surprise for you. You start the bow…" When he didn't answer she said, "You are going to make it for him, aren't you? You did promise."

"I am," he said. And he watched as she held his brother's hand, smiling down at his niece as they walked past the fallen tree.


	21. The Beginning of the End

**Part 1 ~ Elienne (3007 - the day after)**

It was unusual for Murial and Dari's door to be closed, so before Elienne rapped on it, listened, and heard the voice of a rather grieved elf. Certain it was Elendel, she reasoned Dari was breaking the bad news to him; but the voice she heard consoling him was not her sister.

"There is no need to give up. I told you it would not be easy," Murial said.

Perturbed, Elienne knocked rather insistently. The two conspirators became quiet and then the door creaked open.

"Elienne!" Murial said, and then hinted for her to leave. "I am not able to take a call at the moment and Dari is not here."

"Did I just overhear you giving counsel to my sister's suitor? Being her mentor, that is a conflict of interest!"

"Please let her in," Elendel said from out of view. "I would like her perspective." Elienne raised her brows and Murial gave an uncomfortable smile and opened the door for her unwelcome guest.

He stood to greet her properly, waiting until she sat before he did so. His manner was unnatural, as if he had been coached. Murial took her seat with eyes downcast.

"We cannot find the answer," Elendel said. "Would you know what I might do to win Darimaetha?"

"You cannot," Elienne said simply. "Not that there is anything wrong with you, she merely prefers Rúmil… it is like the cakes you bake. Some prefer the cherry topping, others the layers of maple, still others the sweet, but flavorless mallow. They are all fantastically mixed, poured, baked and iced, but you cannot talk Haldir into anything else when there are mallows to be had."

Irritated, Elendel asked, "Are elves nothing more than flavors to ladies?"

"It is not that shallow," Murial said. "She is simplifying it."

Seeing him unconvinced, Elienne asked, "Why did you court my sister?"

"She at one time had shown romantic interest and her manners are most improved since Darkwood."

"Not because of who she is?" Elienne asked. "You did not prefer her to others?"

"I never took measure of it." Indicating Murial, he said, "We simply thought Darimaetha the most likely candidate… I never anticipated she would entertain my pursuit this long, but I was pleased she did."

"Do you have a favorite cake?" she asked.

Elendel smiled and said, "I love them all for what they do to the palate. But she-elves are not cakes, an elf must choose only one, so I must settle for what is available."

"That is why you are such a good chef," Murial chimed in, and then redirected his ignorant insult. "But no lady will want to think you are settling for her. So I must admit, Elienne has a good point. Perhaps you should wait until you find someone you prefer above all others. In the meantime, enjoy all of us without committing to a bond. Many elves choose that direction."

He nodded and stood. Elienne and Murial stood as well. "Thank you m'lady, you have been an excellent tutor," he said to Murial. "When Dari returns, please inform her that I will respect her wishes and not return to court, but my heart is always open for friendship."

"Beautifully put," Murial said. "I am sure she will consider you a friend forever. She is truly fond of you."

To Elienne he added, "I have seen Haldir eat vanilla when I accidentally forgot to bring mallow. It makes me wonder what would have happened had Rúmil left for Rivendell sooner. "

Elienne was glad to see he was not heartbroken and after he left, she turned to Murial and asked, "Was their courtship your idea or his?"

Murial sat and crossed her legs, folding her fingers on her knee. "I may have encouraged his interest." When Elienne sat across from her Murial added, "I am not the first to find her a match."

Remembering her encouraging of Feldor, Elienne sat up straight and let it go, opting for another question on her mind.

"I am actually here because of my son. He made a disparaging remark referring to Legolas in which he called him my 'former suitor'. When I asked him about it, he said I would have to ask you."

"Yes, that is my doing. There was no malevolence or mischief intention. It was a slip when counseling Dari in his presence."

"I reasoned as much, but I have to ask, is there anything else to which Haldor became privy?"

"He also became aware of my engagement to Haldir," she said. "I revealed my perspective and instructed him to inquire after his father's."

Elienne took measured breaths before she looked away. She didn't want to say it, but Murial had to know the devastation she was causing. Trembling she admitted, "I suppose that is why he has stopped praising you so emphatically in my presence. It is difficult to fall in esteem in your own son's eyes. To think his father settled only because the true prize had selected someone else."

A few moments passed before Murial spoke. "Did you realize that our engagement lasted three years?" she asked. Elienne glanced up at her, having assumed it was much shorter. "I had been pursuing him for thirty before that. He did not know, of course, I was much more subtle than you. He caught my eye well before I caught his and I only did because of strategic seduction taught to me by a master."

Considering their short three days before the decision, Elienne was shocked. "I had no idea."

"He prefers you, Elienne. I am merely vanilla dressed up in fancy icing. You are his mallow."

"Thank you," Elienne said, choking up.

"And your son thinks very highly of you, otherwise he would not care if he hurt you. You need only to let him know of your confidence in Haldir and he will stop being so awkward about it."

Grateful for the advice, Elienne stood and said, "Please ask Dari to come for a visit. Our family could use her support right now."

Murial stood to see her to the door and said, "I will, but that may not be for a while, she's left Lothlorien. She said she misses Feldor and brought a few quite expensive gifts hoping he would invite her to stay."

"When?" Elienne asked with a gasp. "And with whom?"

"Last night and she knew no one who would go so she went alone."

Elienne rushed out, saying over her shoulder, "Excuse me…"

She swept through several of the training station before seeking the March Warden station.

Celeborn was there and she approached him despite the sideways glances by messengers.

"M'lord," she said from behind him. The king turned, distracted by his duties, but when he saw her face he made a few more recommendations and then came and led her from the others.

"I pulled Haldir back on duty to secure a breach in the West border. He should return tomorrow."

"That is not soon enough," she said, out of breath. "My sister, she left… last night, alone for Rohan… I fear she is in despair."

"Darimaetha is an adult who has not sworn duty to this kingdom. She cannot be ordered to return by Haldir or me." Elienne looked down and felt her emotions rising. "If she wants to leave, you must let her go. We will all need to grow more accustomed to loss. I know your family has had much, but…"

"M'Lord, I apologize…" said an elf behind him. "An arrow message from the south, asking for reinforcements…"

Celeborn excused himself to read the parchment and Elienne backed away and headed home. She climbed slowly, reasoning Rúmil would take the same position as their king. When she reached the top, she took measure of her somber mood and tried without success to put on cheer for her young.

Haldor was training but Rúmil was there leaning over Lien's sketch table. He glanced up and stood straight.

Feeling numb by her helplessness, Elienne announced to them, "Dari refused Elendel last night and then left for Rohan to visit Feldor."

"Not her too!" Lien exclaimed. She turned to her uncle. "Why is everyone I love leaving?"

Rúmil just stood there, expressionless.

"If I ask you," Elienne said. "Would you go to her?" He swallowed and she said, "Or do you share Celeborn's perspective; that we must learn to let go of our loved ones? Is it so easy for you to let her live a life with men as Feldor does?"

Swiftly Rúmil moved to the door and said, "I will not force her to return. But I will make sure she knows what we prefer."

Once he was gone, Lien ran to the window. He nearly flew down the stairs and she watched with bright hope.

**Part 2 ~Feldor**

The land Eomer had secured for Feldor's family was near a small lake surrounded by hills and boulders where others had recently established a community. For the last few weeks of winter, Gwen and the children would stay in Aldburg in the house they were returning, while he, Eomer, Prince Theodred and a few others worked on their new home. Those who lived here were pleased to have a new family, especially one so close to the king's nephew and son.

It felt rather exposed, but Eomer swore these lands would be protected by the riders and they were central to Aldburg, Edoras, and most importantly, Helm's Deep. Even with so much help less than a half day's ride in any direction, it was not adequate for a family with children. And yet, without other options, they would make the best of it.

"A day's work and a day's ale, what do you say?" Eomer asked Feldor as they surveyed the work that had been done.

"He does the work of five men," Theodred commented. "And you talk big of drinking for 17!"

"Feldor can drink as much ale as five men!" one of his friends commented as they turned to go. "It is unnerving how he holds himself sober."

He glanced at Eomer and Theodred without a word. Few knew he was elven since he kept his ears covered with hair. To help with the cover, Theodred had gone against culture and kept shaven. It made him look many years younger, but a few other men had adopted the style and himself beardless by nature, Feldor now fit in without question.

Riding home only took a few hours and the clan of six men was all expecting a bounty of food from Gwen and the wives of the men who had them. They did not disappoint, but there was also another surprise sitting at the hearth.

When Dari stood, he saw she had returned to dressing masculine and her face looked forlorn. She gazed warily at the loud talking and laughter suddenly filling the room. Each quieted down with curiosity when he saw the visiting elf.

"What is an elf doing in Aldburg?" one of his ignorant friends asked.

"Here," Gwen said, handing him a mug. "There's more ale for the rest of you on the table. Let my husband speak to his friend and then I'm sure he'll explain it all."

She was so good with everyone, Feldor thought and thanked her with a nod. He directed Dari outside to the barn where they stood next to Sully and she explained everything that had happened. By the time she was done, the house had gone quiet and when they heard the door close, she wiped her face on her sleeve and turned toward the darkness as they were approached.

He'd expected Gwen, but it was Eomer. "I brought you something to eat," he said. "Is everything all right?"

"Thank you," Feldor said, taking the bread and one of the mugs of ale. "My friend would prefer water, if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course," he said and left them.

"I appreciate the gifts, but you can't stay here," he said. "I have no place for you, especially in my new home."

"I can sleep in the barn, I used to do that in Darkwood; I am not above it. Otherwise I must live in the wild."

"That is too dangerous now, even for an elf," he argued.

Behind him Eomer was back with a metal cup and handed it over. Feldor gave it to her and when she drank it, Eomer said, "I told everyone you were raised by elves and have elven blood, and that she is a friend. I did not mention you had no man blood in you, they only assumed you must. It will do for now, but Theodred is very concerned about her presence. If word gets back to his father, he cannot lie to the king."

"What is he saying?" Dari asked.

To Eomer, Feldor said, "My friend is requesting sanctuary, only briefly."

"Theodred suspected as much. He said that you have become one of us, but if you harbor her and there is any threat from your kind at all, any goodwill toward you will dissolve. I must stand by his judgment, whatever I or my father owe you, my allegiance is to my king."

"I understand," he said. To Dari, Feldor said, "It will not take long before Murial has told the world where you are. If any come after you, it could be bad for me, especially if there is a scene."

"They didn't come after you," she said. It hurt to hear the words and he knew his face betrayed him. "Forgive me," she pleaded, her hand on his arm. "In all truth, Haldir is too distracted with training and Rúmil left for Rivendell. I am likely to be as forgotten as you were. The only difference is I have nowhere to go; nobody at all."

"What is he saying?" Eomer asked. "He sounds upset."

"It has been a long journey," Feldor said to him. "I must take the risk to help my friend. Maethriel is family."

"Of course… I would think less of you if you turned away a blood brother."

….

Eomer would not hear of anyone sleeping in the barn and had insisted on a cot in the corner for the elven guest while the man from out of town slept and snored on the floor. Though officially this was Eomer's house, Feldor and his wife remained in the master bed with their children and he took the other for himself and his cousin.

Between the baby crying and the guest snoring, it had been a sleepless night for both elves. Feldor was busy walking his newest son as Gwen and their oldest prepared lunches. As their guest ate breakfast, Dari sat in the corner alone until Eomer coaxed her to join them.

"Who is this charming man?" Dari asked Feldor as she sat staring at Eomer slurping his food. Once he explained, she smiled and said, "Only seventeen? He has nearly a full beard!"

Eomer questioned her comments and Feldor told him, "Elves are fascinated with facial hair." He handed him a napkin to wipe the meal dripped there.

He thought it funny and out of Gwen's earshot he said, "Tell him what fascinates me is where else elves do not have hair besides their chins!" He reached out to touch Dari's face, but Feldor grabbed his wrist just in time. "Oh, don't worry, my friend. I'd only be interested in the females, no matter how beautiful the males are."

Feldor did not translate anything to Dari but told her, "Watch yourself. I think if they knew your gender we might have problems."

….

Dari had decided she would rather help with the build than stay home with the children and Gwen, which suited Feldor's wife fine. The communication problems were wearing on Feldor and he was looking forward to putting her to work so he did not have to constantly translate.

At the site Dari proved stronger than he expected but did not ease from constant questions. Still, they accomplished more than expected and on their afternoon break, swords were brought out.

"Tell them elves do not spar," she said. "I do not feel like pretending to lose to these cheeky men."

"Then don't," he grumped. "They are not fools or cowards; they will not be ashamed if you win."

"Why does he refuse?" Eomer asked.

"My friend thinks you will cry if he beats you," he said. Eomer walked around her looking chagrinned.

"Tell your skinny friend that if he beats me, I will personally pay him twenty silver coins." He hesitated a moment and asked, "Do elves care about silver or take bets?"

"A dare is usually enough," Feldor said. To Dari he said, "He's sure he'll win."

Dari laughed and Eomer brought his cousin and friends in on the action. "Who else here thinks I could take this elf?"

Several of the older among them wanted nothing to do with the challenge, stating they had heard tales of elves, but Theodred wanted to see his cousin fight and bet against him.

To be fair, Feldor said, "So you do not lose your entire inheritance in one day, Eomer, know that this elf has been trained by Haldir of Lorien and his brother, both warriors from the beginning of this age. And Haldir was brought into his prestige by First Age elves."

Unimpressed, Eomer asked, "Well, how old is he?"

"Maethril is seventy-eight," he said.

"From what you've told me, that is barely an adult by elf standards! So, maturity wise, I'd say Maethril and I are about equal."

Feldor continued to eat the lunch Gwen had packed him and watched Eomer take Theodred's sword and spin it and his own, one in each hand, taunting Dari. She merely smirked at him.

"Tell him it's time to put to rest who the real warriors are in Middle Earth – rugged men or delicate elves… certainly you've proven you are the best of both, Feldor, but this one… afraid of shaming me… I've laid women with thicker hands."

It made the men around laugh, but Feldor knew it was a bragging lie. To Dari, he said, "You may stay with my family for as long as you like if you can take this imp off his arrogant feet."

It was all she needed and Dari held her hand out to Eomer who placed Theodred's sword in it.

She toyed with him at first, letting him get in a few good strikes as she grew accustomed to the sword. When she started to move more quickly, other men from the nearby homesteads began to take notice and came to watch.

"An audience will surely shame him, Feldor," she said, nervously. "This really isn't fair; he's just a boy."

To a curious Eomer, he said, "My friend thinks you're too young to carry such a big sword."

"Oh he does?" Eomer asked, to the booing of the crowd. Coming at her with less inhibition, he made her back up a few steps toward a large rock. Just when she looked cornered, she bounced a foot lightly off of it and flipped over him, hitting his sword out of his hand in the process.

"That I learned from Legolas," she said to Feldor.

Stunned, Eomer turned and took up his sword again quickly. "What was that?" he asked. "Since when do elves fly?"

In good sport, Dari permitted him to show off his own moves as she had with Haldor. When he got sloppy she took his sword from him again and said, "Tell him to stop showing off and concentrate on his upswing more."

Eomer retrieved his weapon, anxious to hear what she said.

Improvising, Feldor said, "My friend says your sword is limp as a birch. Elves hold their weapons stiff and long as pines."

"What?" Eomer gasped, playing to the crowd. "Am I now being called impotent?"

Feldor knew it would be taken that way and enjoyed the crowd's fuss over the insult, egging him to retaliation.

"That is an insult to us all!" Theodred pointed out. "Stop holding back, so long as it's not a death blow, there will be no hard feelings if you injure one another."

Eomer checked with Feldor who said, "An elf heals quickly."

Encouraged, Eomer held his sword up straight at his crotch and said, "So you think I am limp?"

Feldor knew Dari had seen her share of foul jests among elves and was not surprised when she laughed.

"He is rather adorable," she said. "I should like to take him home and keep him for a pet."

That he translated directly, driving Eomer to take a ready stance, focused and ready.

As soon as she gave the nod, he came at her full force and Dari made swift work of every angle he tried. After several rounds, she didn't even look to be worn; even for elven standards it was impressive. When Eomer began to get angry at her appearance of boredom, Theodred tried to intervene, but the boy would hear nothing of it. He struck at her as if his very manhood was at stake.

"It is enough, Feldor," she said, dancing out of harm's way. "I have obviously won, must I hurt him to prove it?"

"You don't understand, Dari," Feldor said. "His blind arrogance needs to be beaten out of him before he turns into his father. Eomer has no awareness of you being better than him; even his cousin fears for his recklessness."

He yelled as he came again, sloppily striking and tripping as she easily moved out of his way. He looked up from the ground and shouted mindlessly as he pushed himself back up.

"I am done," she said and Feldor watched as if something had switched inside of her. She went after him, allowing him to keep his sword, but hitting it again and again, hard enough to hurt his hand. She then slapped his arm and back with the flat side of hers. It made clear that at any time she could have dealt deathly blows. Desperately on the defensive now, he eventually fell to his knees, gasping and barely holding up his sword.

"Tell him I am female," she snarled. Feldor did not agree and remained silent. "Tell him!" she demanded.

"I am not begging for mercy!" Eomer cried. "I am not giving up!" But his brow dripped with sweat and try as he might, he could not stand. The crowd around them was quiet, all understanding Dari's restraint and feeling for the humiliated boy. "I will not lose to a filthy elf!"

The prejudice in his voice made even Theodred cringe. Nobody standing there was proud of him anymore; he brought shame to them, rather. Those that knew his father and how he died clearly feared what they saw in him.

Feldor's caring for this boy had led to his greatest sacrifices, and he would not see him defend his pride with prejudice.

"You are not losing to a filthy elf," Feldor shouted, standing. Eomer glanced at him, panting and awareness of offending Feldor rose in his countenance. More delicately, Feldor said, "You have lost and to a she-elf. Maethril is not my brother, she is my _sister_."

Eomer stared up at her, blinking in awe. Dari smiled wickedly, took a few moments to unfastened her hair tie so that her locks fell in waves around her shoulders and then got down on her knees before him. She easily took his sword and their faces only a hand breadth apart, she said, "He is so handsome in his brokenness. I think I shall kiss him."

"No," Feldor ordered. "That is unfair and cruel!"

But she put her lips out, drew closer and just as he thought she would ignore his counsel, Eomer closed his eyes in anticipation and she blew instead. At first, nothing happened, but then the boy began to tip and passed out cold before he collapsed, bringing a cheer from the crowd.

…

Having gotten the roof on that day, and with Eomer feeling too wretched to ride, they decided to stay in the new building and sent a messenger to Gwen to tell her. Dari had taken it upon herself to pamper Eomer and treat his wounds and ailing pride. She removed her outer tunic wearing only her tights and long, silk under shirt. She was now wholly feminine and stunning in the fire light.

"I know you've been training as a warrior, but you were beyond what even I expected today," Feldor said, sitting beside her as she fed stew to the ailing youth. "Are all the warriors so well prepared?"

"More so. To give you an idea of Haldir's expectations; I have been officially relegated to the support archers. I could not achieve the strength he requires for the front line regiment."

He blew out an impressed breath and watched as she used her thumb to catch a drip on Eomer's lip.

"You never took care of me so well," Feldor challenged. "Murial has done as much work on you as Haldir."

She chuckled and after a while of thoughtfulness she said, "A lot has changed since warrior training began. She's had more pupils than in her entire career. Twenty-four couples have bonded in the last year under watch of her matching." More sadly she said, "I think everyone is starting to realize time is running out. Putting off what can be done in the centuries to come makes no sense when you only have a matter of years."

"I feel that way too," he said. "Gwen is aging, and it chills me each time I see any change in her. Yet, I must spend all day working and when we live here I will be riding for weeks at a time away from her. It makes every moment we do have that much more special, but I am tired and I ache for her constantly. I would not change my decision, but this is not what I thought it would be. There is much love, but little bliss."

"Go away," Eomer said to him, pushing Feldor's leg lightly. "Leave us alone."

Annoyed, Feldor snapped, "Why so you can lay her like the other women you bragged about." Eomer was only a touch embarrassed by the sarcasm. "This is my sister," Feldor warned. "Treat her like you would yours."

"But I am in love," Eomer said. Feldor narrowed his eyes and sniffed him.

He looked beside her foot and lifted the bottle there. To Dari he asked, "You gave him the wine you brought for me?"

"Elfwine," Eomer said, blinking dizzily and reaching for it.

Feldor pulled it away and alarmed, he asked Dari, "Do you know what this does to men? A cup of it could kill him!"

"That is why I only gave him one sip," she said. "To ease his pain."

When Feldor saw Eomer was gazing at her in pure desire, he said to her, "Take this back with you and get away from him!"

She laughed at his teasing, but did as she was told.

"No," Eomer said reaching for her. "Come back…"

Feldor put him back on his sleeping roll, grateful the wine would keep him immobile for a while.

"She loves me too," he said. "I know it."

"She has no feelings for you save amusement," Feldor said. "Her heart belongs to another."

"Looking at her is like dreaming," he said. "Her breath is like roses… her touch like velvet... I would take the beating all over again if she would kiss me."

Finally Feldor understood Rúmil's distaste for romance.

"Sleep, you fool," he said, mussing the boy's hair before he lay down between them.

…

The next day, despite dressing herself as an elf again, Dari could not shake Eomer from her heals. He almost stepped in, but could not help thinking that since she brings these problems on herself, she might actually want them.

In the late afternoon, while preparing to return to the village Eomer gave a shout. "We're under attack from the North! Orcs!"

Feldor glanced over and saw that he was running from Dari who stood next to the house where an arrow stuck out of the wall. While everyone else took defensive measures, she looked to the hills and smiled.

Weapons were gathered, and horses mounted but Feldor held his ground watching as Dari casually pulled the arrow out and brought it to him.

"Eomer tried to kiss me, I pulled away and…" She held her hand up and stuck the arrow lightly against it. She then handed it to him and as she ran off to gather her things, she said, "I guess I have not been forgotten after all."

He recognized the style immediately as one he had seen wound in his own home hundreds of times.

Several of the men rode around the parameter, reporting back that there was nothing to be seen and Theodred questioned Eomer on his warning.

When Theodred returned back to him, Feldor announced, "There is no danger."

"I was nearly shot!" Eomer insisted.

"If the elf that shot this arrow meant to hit you, you would be dead," Feldor told him.

"One shot, hit or missed, is enough for war!" Eomer declared.

"You would go to war so lightly with a race whose women easily wear you down?" Theodred asked. It put Eomer in his place for a moment, but rage was clearly under the surface.

Dari, ready to leave called to Feldor as she started up the hill, "Tell them good bye… and I will try to visit you again soon."

"Please don't," Feldor shouted. "I will send word by Sully if I am ever ready to entertain elves again."

She nodded, but seemed to understand. They all watched as she disappeared over the hill.

"Did you really try to kiss her, after all my warnings?" Feldor asked. When Eomer did not answer he held up the arrow to him and said, "She loves the elf who shot this. And he loves her."

Defiant, Eomer rode his horse up to where she had gone. He walked it along the ridge and called down, "There is no sign of anyone, for miles!"

"There will be no war today," Theodred said when he came back down. "And I pray _never_ with elves."

They finished readying themselves to go and all the while Eomer sat alone and stared into space. When Feldor approached him, the boy said, "She likely thinks me a fool."

"If she is with Rúmil, she has likely forgotten you already," Feldor said.

Eomer dismissed it and stood. "It was not all endurance those moves of hers, it was skill. I have never seen you lift a sword, but if you are able to fight like her, will you teach me?"

"I am not her match, but I would be honored to teach you anything I know, Eomer," Feldor said. "If you would be willing to use it with more humility."

The boy hesitated a moment and then nodded. He was not contrite enough to apologize, but it was a start.

**Part 3 ~ Dari (seven years later 3014)**

Lien's regular visits were among Dari's favorites. While others would rely on Dari to entertain, her niece usually came prepared with artwork gifts, a song she wished to share or a topic for discussion. Today was no different and as soon as Dari complied to leave her home for a walk strolling the field where what was left of the dead tree still lay, Lien made known her interest.

"I am visiting today because it is one month exactly since Elendel has left Lorien," she said. "And I wanted to ask if you miss him."

"Yes. He was a good friend, of course I miss his company." Dari could see her answer brought little lines in her niece's forehead and she intuited the real reason for the question. "Do you miss Legolas?"

In the same practical tone Dari had spoken, Lien said, "Yes, of course. It has been seven years." More thoughtfully she mused, "That is not a long time for elves of _his_ age, though."

"No, barely a blink," she said.

Lien let go of her arm and walked toward the tree. The broken branches lay rotting in the rain and sun, much more quickly than if under the canopy.

"I don't like death," Lien said when Dari came to her side. "To think of Lamer's body disintegrating like this, it makes me so sad. It does not seem natural or right."

"It isn't natural for elves. We were never meant to witness death," Dari said. "We belong in Valinor."

"Well why do men have to experience it?" she asked, snapping a twig off the branch. "It seems so unfair that elves have immortality and men have to die so young."

"According to Feldor, men live very full, rich lives. He says they are like bright flames who throw themselves into living. He thinks mortality is a gift to them because it would be very hard to continue that way for long."

"Why did Eru not make everyone like elves then?"

"Why not only write happy songs?" Dari asked, knowing dirges were among Lien's favorites. Her niece glanced at her. "Sorrow and hardship, no matter how they hurt, lend themselves to enhance the joy and love we have. Elendel said it is like spices or salt. Too much salt in a cake will make it awful, but just the right amount can bring out more flavor to lift a lovely taste into an emotional experience."

"That reminds me of something Lamer told me," Lien said. "When you and uncle Rúmil were gone, he encouraged me to focus on the reunion; that it was the best part of being separated." Sadly she added, "Seeing you two again would have been divine if it was not tainted by Lamer's death. When I think about him in the ground, all alone, I miss him more than Legolas. For any day I could see my greenleaf prince again." She looked to the sky and said, "Oh, it is late! I am supposed to pick up a few spools of thread for my mother before I go home. Will you come with me?"

Dari agreed, but before they came to the spinners workshop, they found themselves walking among a gathering. Dari thought nothing of it at first, but Lien insisted they see what was happening. There in the front before the entire company sat Rúmil, with a lute.

"Oh that's right, we're performing today!" Lien said with a grin. She stood on her toes and gave Dari a kiss before running forward and finding her place. She was welcomed with a nod by Rúmil who then glanced up at Dari.

They had not seen each other much after he had come to her in Rohan. He neither scolded her for running off nor did he seem relieved that she was returning willingly. She had decided that if he needed a good decade break from her, she would let him have it, even if Haldir would not release him to Rivendell. In the following years she never visited their home, but he had come to call on her three times. He never stayed long, was always pleasant, but never intimate. It seemed duty for him, and likewise, though it hurt to watch, she would endure their playing.

Elienne came and led her to a seat and she realized the family was all here, as was Murial and many of her friends. Dari began to wonder if it was because this was in her honor that she had not been invited earlier. The sprite had managed keep a secret again and Dari could not imagine what the occasion was!

The two of them played a new piece, simple and lovely, but not sounding much like a any others written by Lien. But then, suddenly, song broke out.

It was not her niece.

As the words flowed from his surprisingly textured voice, Dari took several moments to realize, it was not in Sindarin. He was singing in Eastron! She glanced around the gathering at the elves who all seemed to be patiently abiding his choice and then sat back to make sense of the lyrics.

It was poetic, but more by elven standards than of the Easterlings ballads. She decided at once that he must have written it. It was mostly about the changing seasons and passing of time but then discussed how he felt constantly on trial in the light of a court case of public opinion. Defending himself, he denied facts and mistrusted the testimony of the witnesses.

He felt alone, searching for answers in the passing winters, huddling by coals that did not take away the chill of his memories.

She was moved by his painful honesty as he spoke of hiding in the shadows, covering up in cloaks and miming behind masks. Then the lyrics became personal when he looked up at Dari and asked the question if possibly there was truth in this jury's view, that all along… In Sindarin he sang, "I must have loved you?"

It took her a few breaths to understand he was not just performing for her, but singing _to_ her! In that time of her realization, the music became more lively and louder with chords that hung, waiting for resolution and building. She smiled and bashfully he returned to her his own, but he was far from done.

After the short instrumental, he continued into the next stanza back in Eastron, singing rhetorical questions about why Eru had made the world to spin and Ebareth the stars to shine. He lamented the celestial designs and lawful function of nature that would not permit truth from being hidden anymore than the world from spinning. As gravity gripped him to the earth, he could not pull away from the powerful force tugging his heart.

His next verse focused on her and how she is what made sense of the world, like a map of the stars or a translation of a language everyone else spoke but him. She was a treasure to hunt and since he first saw her smile he had no other measure of his worth that mattered.

The last line was long and in it he admitted a long string of logical conclusions that led to his need to plead guilty to all of the accusations.

And then in Sindarin again, he sang the final words, "It's time that I confess, how much I love you."

The music continued and he said it again, and again, until they ended softly.

Rumil sat before her in silence among all their beloveds; under the scrutiny she had only ever seen him shun.

Dari was too stunned to move and finally Murial came to her side and whisper, "Go to him, dear one!"

She nodded at her mentor and stood, walking toward him as if in a dream. He gave his lute to Lien and stepped forward to her. She thought, as Haldir had done with Elienne, that Rúmil might at least kiss her, if not carry her off, but rather, he put out his arm and Lien began to speak, inviting her brother forward to play an instrument impromptu.

Bewildered, Dari took his arm and Rumil led her through the city to a hidden garden she had not seen before. Fragrant jasmine was planted in over-abundance among an articulated stream with tiny falls that ran between them. There were four statues of lovers in various poses and lanterns hung throughout. In the center was a bench with pillows and a blanket in front of it covered in rose petals with a plate of cakes.

Rather than be overcome by the romance, Dari knew at once, Rúmil had _not_ done this. She smirked and put her finger to her lips as he led her through it all.

"Lien over did it a little," he whispered.

"A little," she said, taking a seat. It took all she had to attempt to look at him. He did not feel himself, not the wounded recluse, noble elder or even the comfortable youth he was in Rivendell. "The song was enchanting. Such a public confession too," she said, attempting to coax his intentions.

Pausing for a moment, he whispered, "I should tell you right now, this is not a proposal, merely a promise." He glanced at her, caution haunting his eyes. "I only meant to right whatever wrong I have done by denying my feelings. I do love you and I swear to love only you; but fear still governs my heart and I am not yet ready to bond."

Dari's chest felt tight and the chill of humiliation sent ice through her veins. It must have shown, for he hurriedly attempted to remedy his error with excuses.

"It had to be public, because I so publicly lied for years; against all evidence to the contrary. Worse, I knowingly lied, even and to your face. With vain reasons to be noble and protect you when all along it was myself I was protecting." He attempted to take her hand and she pulled it away, devastated that what she had presumed and what everyone else would be expecting would be denied her.

"I need to go," she started, but could not stand, feeling faint.

"I am so sorry if I hurt you, that was not my intention," Rúmil said urgently. "It is still a matter of my healing being highest priority; I cannot put you through a bond with someone as broken as I am. But I am getting closer, and I realized, lying to you; the one I love the most, the one I desire to be with… that falseness has robbed us of potential intimacy and actually preventing what I seek."

Never had Dari felt more grateful for the training in grace she had been given, at this moment she would have preferred to push the ignorant elder beside her off the bench into the stream behind them; but that was not the way 'it' was done. She had to be kind and forgive those who might not know better. However, honesty was permitted.

"So all of this was about your healing?" she asked him. He nodded, hopeful. "None of your thought going into it was about how I might feel?"

Rúmil stopped to consider it and answered confused, "It was about you too; you wanted to know how I felt so I've told you… in the most open and elaborate way I could. You have to admit, I showed up your other suitors." He gestured to the garden and said, "Even if I did need help from an elfling."

"I never wanted courtship and romance, Rúmil. I wanted you," she said. "Why would I want confession without consummation?" To his utter astonishment she said, "There was a time when a promise would have been enough, but there are too few days left to walk around in them half engaged."

"To be clear, you're saying no?" he asked.

"If some general fear of bonding is reason enough to go from pretending you don't love me to pretending that you do, then yes, I am refusing."

"I am not pretending, I can feel fear and love at the same time!" he insisted.

"Fear of what?" she demanded. "You told me that I should bear my heart to Elendel and tell him my past; it was only fair if I was considering engagement. And now it is you who won't tell me what you fear?"

She found her strength and stood, hesitating a moment before taking a step. He grabbed her hand with an icy grip.

"If you stay, I will try…" he said. "Though my heart will bust, I will tell you."

Dari turned and looked down, seeing in the flesh the same young elf she had witnessed while in spirit over him in Rivendell. His vulnerability moved her and she sat back down, watching him gather his strength.

"When you showed your..." His eyes darted around nervously. "Chest... to me," he got out. He began fidgeting as he went on. "...I had a potent memory… it was of something I had never shared with anyone, not Haldir, not Elrond. Not even Galadriel had dug so deep into my mind."

The moment came back to her and she remembered the look of horror in his eyes. She had believed it was because of her crude ugliness.

"It was not the first time I laid eyes on the flesh of a female," he said. He was suddenly still, his eyes darkened and a shroud fell over his face. "In that dungeon… they paraded my mother before us… it was wrong to look on her stripped form, I knew it. And yet, she was so beautiful…" He trembled, closed his eyes and said, "I could not look away…" He bent over, his elbows on his knees; hands to his head. "And I watched as they took her... I could not look away."

Dari was stunned by the shame he must feel and when he lowered one hand, he opened his eyes, allowing a tear to fall.

"I learned to heal from the pain of watching her hurt. I have moved on to reject my father's curse of me... And I have forgiven myself for lacking control in such a situation." He pressed his lips together before forcing out, "But I cannot separate in my mind the image of beauty from my shame and the horror of her suffering." He glanced up at her and said, "How can I be bonded when the very sight of you will bring me to my worst agony?"

Dari covered her mouth, unable to answer. He continued to stare at her, searching her eyes for an answer she did not have. All she could do was put her arms around him and pull him to herself. She held him tightly and let him weep in her arms.

"I change my answer," she said, rocking him. "I accept you, as you are. I am yours… if you are never healed of this, then I will still walk by your side as a friend. And I do not care what anyone thinks or says about it."

She kissed the top of his head as he clung to her and while she gave over a few sobs, she held herself strong for him, finally understanding the depths of his torment and grief.

**Part 4 ~ Haldir (January, 3019)  
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"You were engaged for fifty years, Haldir," Rúmil defended in hushed tones upon the defense flet. "I will not entertain this conversation with you after only four!"

"He has a point," Orophin said.

"Thank you!" Haldir said, gesturing for their youngest brother to speak.

"You share a room, a bed and that is much different than being a week's distance travel. Haldir is so quick to inflame his bond readiness, he does not understand how you can manage to remain a virgin."

It was a rumor he had long endured and Rumil laughed at the tease.

"My thanks is revoked!" Haldir grumbled. Turning to Rumil again he said, "Perhaps your problem is the opposite of mine?" he asked. "Having trouble becoming ready?"

Haldir had meant it as a jest, but his brother instantly took offense.

"If you must know, it is my heart," Rúmil said. "I have no trouble with other functions." Haldir started to question him and Rúmil insisted, "I will abandon this shared post if you set up our watch together only to ridicule me!"

"It's not that," Orophin said. "It is that… time is short. Even I can see that."

"If the ring is found, it may become too late," Haldir said. When Rúmil glanced down off the flet, bending his knees as if to jump, Haldir took his arm and said, "I will say one more thing on the matter and then I promise, nothing else." Rúmil stood and gave him a warning glare. "If in this world death comes to either of you, you may be parted in the next, unable to find one another."

His brother looked skeptical so Haldir insisted, "I have seen your love grow deeper and stronger. There is a connection already, but take it from someone who thought the heart's bond of love was plenty to bind us before we bonded, for we did feel each other from afar… but it is nothing compared to the physical, sensational ecstasy and spiritual bliss you will feel when your bodies become one in the flesh and your very beings are encompassed by one another. You can not escape each other in the bonded state, even if you wanted to. So if you do not want to lose her, you must take this step."

"And I thought you were obnoxious about romance _before_ I was in love," Rúmil said. "I see now you were holding back."

Haldir sighed heavily and retreated. He hated to see his brother so close to happiness and refuse it. But as Elienne had become fond of saying, Haldir could save someone's life, but he could not make them live it.

After a few conversations more about the mundane protection of the wood, the three of them waited in silence.

It was the next day that a messenger dropped onto their flet.

"M'lord, there are trespassers to the West… not orcs, but two men, hobbits and a dwarf… and an elf of interest…"

"Who would dare?" he asked, getting his kit ready.

"Legolas."

Haldir stood still. All his wardens knew of the banishment and had been instructed to fetch him directly if it was broken. This breech set him on edge worse than he could imagine. Haldir glanced at his brothers feeling a mixture of rage and glee. Had the prince finally found the courage to challenge his banishment and prove his love to the poor heart-broken Liendriel? And if so, how dare he along with him bring non-friends into their wood at such a time of peril? It was the most wretched betrayals of trust imaginable.

"Rúmil," Haldir said. "You had better take my bow from me now. Just to make sure I don't kill him on sight."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please review? I so much want to see what the readers are thinking... Also, Sting's song "Ghost Story" inspired Rumil's song.  
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	22. The Fellowship of the Ring

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am writing based on the extended edition of the movie in this chapter. I will not be including the entire scenes, but will filling in the events around them. Though at times I will quote a single line of dialogue or mention something that happens only so the reader can follow the timeline.**

**Part 1 ~ Haldir **

"The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark."

After he said it, Haldir let his eyes rise from the burly trespasser to his antagonist. With his arrow raised and fastened on Haldir it was clear that Legolas had taken the threat to their presence as he should, but found no humor in his reference.

"We mean no offense trespassing without invitation, we are in fear for our lives," Aragorn said in Westron. Haldir met his eyes and with hands in a prayer position, the man begged, "Hear me before you make whatever just decision is in your authority."

Haldir glared at Legolas, the only one among them in hostile position.

"Lower your weapon!" Aragorn ordered him. Nervously Legolas did so and Aragorn turned to Haldir and started, "We are a Fellowship set out from Rivendell…"

As he spoke, though, the man's audible words were muffled by a louder voice in Haldir's mind. "I do not give you orders often, my March Warden; your judgment in matters of state I trust second only to Celeborn. But I tell you now on threat of losing that high position in my esteem, do not allow your personal interests to conflict with your duty to me in this matter. Your house is to be governed by your discretion, but you will extend Legolas, son of Thandruil a welcome into this realm. His banishment is lifted by my command."

"Haldir," Rúmil said, waking him out of his trance.

The eight intruders stood staring at him, waiting, as did his guards.

"Take them to a flet, I will decide when I am ready," he ordered.

Legolas hesitated, but Rúmil urged him on.

Never in a thousand years of service had his Lady had cause to chastise him with threat and as night fell and he sent out messages for reinforcements of the border, she did not return his mind's call for forgiveness nor his questions on what to do with this Fellowship.

She did sincerely trust him, he decided; and he would be worthy.

…. SCENE AT NIGHT ON FLET….

As Haldir trekked them through the woods in the morning, he mulled over his decision. The evil was the ring; he did not see it, and he had not been told about the Fellowship or Elrond's council, but he knew he led the worst kind of threat directly into the heart of everything he loved. He also knew what would happen if the orcs and goblins of Moria tracked them; they would be seized. With the hobbits and the dwarf, they could not outrun the enemy.

It was a paradigm of epic proportions; everything in him recoiled at the darkness. He was risking not just the onslaught of attack, but worse, contamination of his home and his people… of his young. Yet, if he did not, all of Middle earth would eventually fall to the fate he feared.

The training he had offered the warriors gave him little comfort. They held off an attack last night, but the orcs would be back tonight and in greater number, testing the resolve of the elves and searching for weak points in the border.

Despite that ever present darkness, the closer he brought the travelers to home, the more heightened Haldir's senses became. Not since Elienne and Darimaethia had he the privilege of presenting this great city to new eyes.

When they came over the ridge into the safest territory, he was overwhelmed as if seeing it for the first time himself and besides all his worries, he spoke more as the Emissary than the March Warden.

"Caras Galadhon...the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light."

As the Fellowship gazed in awe, he gave them a moment and called forth his brother who had been following behind.

"I must take them to the court myself, Rúmil, but I will be back on the border as soon as I am released. I will need to learn what is to be done for them and how long they will be here to devise a strategy. Until then, I leave you in charge and I will send everyone but a change of guard for a two day duty shift for the wounded and weak."

His brother gave a nod and Haldir put his hand on his shoulders and drew him close.

"Any deaths are on my hands. I fear that this is how it will be until the enemy has been defeated; decisions for the greater good, sacrifices for safety. We are no longer our own, we are on a crusade to conquer evil. Even if we are not on the front lines of war we are in this battle together with any who oppose the enemy."

He saw the haunting in his brother's eyes at his words, but Haldir had to warn him.

"I say this, because I must send the support archers to the border." Rúmil gave a nod, understanding Maethriel would not be spared. "Haldor will be on the inner circle in third rank. They will likely see no penetration to their stance, but will do more good there than wringing their hands at home."

Rúmil nodded again and Haldir watched him go, neither of them speaking their fear of how many would lose their lives tonight. The hobbit with the large eyes was looking at him with the same dread; the same weight of responsibility that Haldir felt. The ring he held… it carried so much power; authority over the air. Wearing it he could strike down a thousand orcs with a wave of his sword…

"Are we ready, Haldir?" Aragorn asked softly.

For a moment Haldir could not look away from the bulge under the vest of that little man and then in front of him stepped Legolas. His eyes lifted to meet the icy blue stare of his rival; the elf he had let tempt him to misuse his own power. No longer was there fear in the Prince's eyes, but rather a warning.

"Yes, we are ready," Haldir snarled and led them on.

**Part 2 ~ Rúmil**

By night fall, hundreds of orcs were lining up and coming at them in tens and twenties, still seeking out weak spots in the aim and range of their archers. When he heard the orc horn sound, he nodded to Orophin, who blew their own, surprising the creatures that they too were considering this war.

It put a slight hesitation in them, but not for long. As their lines divided and aimed for the areas where their sniper archers were blocked by trees, the secondary archers let loose a wave of arrows that went up and over the tall branches from far behind them, falling down in an arch and felling them in droves. So many tumbled that the their troops tripped and themselves were slain by the continuous stream of released arrows.

Rúmil stood ready with his sword watching as they closed in; all who stood with him felt energized by their foes shock and anger at being tricked.

The first to reach them fought fiercely and fell fast. Those behind tried to duck and dodge, but were also easily made dead. The third swarm leaped over their comrades and did not lift their swords to strike and kill the elves, but only to defend their own lives. It was enough to delay their slaughter for the strangeness of it. A costly delay as the sheer numbers that ran through overwhelmed them. For as they fought one, three more would run around and need to be struck from behind.

To his dismay a familiar feeling overshadowed his awareness; this was just like his dream decades ago. A dream he had played over in his mind and with his brothers and nephew a dozen times for deciding what to do. He glanced at those that had made it past and knew behind him the archers in the flets could only take down so many before they reached the secondary line standing vulnerable on the forest floor.

"Aim to wound, not kill. We can finish the survivors later!"

The strategy was called out down both lines to his left and right, saving them time and energy and once more preventing any to pass. He and the guards beside him backed up, creating between them and their border ugly mounds of writing gray flesh. The sound of their painful screeching was nauseating, even to their own kind and as they closed the gap between the warriors and the archers above, many jumped to join them.

In their stead some of the secondary archers took up sniper aim and it did not take long for the orc commanders to understand this was not a retreat of defeat, it was a massacre.

When the last standing orc ran for his life, their ranks took to putting the rest out of their misery. It could not be considered mercy for though the elves were doing their duty, many took pleasure in ending the lives of those that would dare attack the wood.

Rúmil also struck orc after orc, silencing them and tossing their bodies into piles to be disposed of in the field toward Moria.

It was nearly morning before most had stopped moving and Rúmil had long since started breathing through his mouth to avoid the stench of it. Several elves had come to him from regiments further north and south to give their reports that much had happened there as here. The one exception was far south where a breach had required the elves inwood to join. Haldor was among them and the messenger was glad to give an account to a proud uncle of his nephew's successes.

"He fights like his father in every way except energy which pours out of him like lightning."

"It was his first kill," Rúmil explained to the messenger. "It may take time to have his enthusiasm dampened with the reality of death."

…

Only by the light of dawn did he see the familiar form of a figure he knew intimately. She stood over an orc who lay with an arrow in his gut. He, like some of the others, was reaching out, begging not to be killed. As she should, she was ignoring him at first, but then hesitated, as if to look more closely.

"What is it?" Rúmil called, as he approached. The orc cried out to him now.

"This one looks different," she said.

His face was not as gray as the others and his eyes still had not turned black. Rúmil squatted down to see his ears were long, but still red from the excruciating stretching.

"He's new," Rúmil said. The orc looked at Dari, and then him. The blood dripping from his dark lips was burgundy, not black. "Why do you not want us to kill you?" he asked it.

"I'm afraid," he cried with a tremor as he clutched the arrow in his gut.

"More afraid of death than what your life has become?" Rúmil asked. "More afraid of ending your twisted existence than prolonging it into an even worse tragedy where you completely forget who you used to be?" The contorted, deformed face told him there was still some regret in this one. If they had released some not ready it meant their ranks were thinning. "I can see you remember," Rúmil said. "You must have been very strong to hold on as much as you have."

"What are you doing?" a voice called out behind him. It was Orophin. "Why are you talking to that thing? He cannot be saved, do not even think of it!"

Rúmil met Maethriel's eyes and she read his mind enough to head off his brother.

"I do remember," the orc said with a gurgling as the blood was filling his lungs. He coughed and it splattered on Rúmil's hand. The fresh red liquid saddened him; deep within this one's heart still beat warm.

"Then think on who you once were as you die. That is who you really are. What you are now is not your fault. Hope and ask Nienne to forgive you. May she weep for your soul." The orc nodded and his eyes turned blue as a tear fell.

Rúmil took his knife and slit his throat quickly.

As the orcs eyes went glassy with death, Rúmil felt pity for him, but more so, for himself. He had come back and so far! And yet instead of embracing who he was now, he was focusing on what he still was not! Would he die hoping for complete healing and never enjoy the love he had? Would he die alone, like this one?

He saw Maethriel watching him with concern next to Orophin whose eyes judged him weak. Rúmil stood and said to his brother, "Do you know me so little?" There was no response, so he stepped away from the body and his heart's desire followed after him.

"I have heard reports that four of ours have died," she said, not challenging his decision to engage evil. "Did you get their names?"

He told her who they were and saw her breathe a sigh that comes from sadness and relief that it was not a loved one.

"I want you to return to tell Haldir," he said. "He will need a friend to deliver the news. Three of them studied under him for centuries. Tell him what has happened here and bring back word if he has any."

"Yes, m'lord," she said, as anyone under his command might. But the way she gazed at him was different; Maethriel had likely detected the change in his mannerism and she did not leave his side swiftly to carry out his command. "Is there anything else?" she asked.

His sly smile escaped and he glanced to the side before meeting her knowing eyes.

"I have long hidden a truth from you," he said. "On the day of our promise, it was fear that paralyzed me. Of late it has been something even less becoming… vanity." Seeing her dubious, he explained, stepping closer so he might breathe the words softly in her lovely ear. "I want our bond to be perfect; beyond beautiful. I want to impress you and to have you as I might have had before my fall. But that is not going to happen."

She turned her face to him, worried by his words until she saw the intent in his eyes and she lifted her brow.

"I no longer fear pain or even death. What grips my heart is that I might be so foolish as to not make the most of every moment we have left."

She smiled, humored and said, "Careful, you're starting to sound like a mortal."

Rúmil smiled at her tease and in front of the other guards, unabashed and carefree, he kissed her; lightly and playfully. He even felt his eyes light when he pulled away. In Eastron he said, "Go, before my desire distracts me from duty!"

**Part 3 ~ Dari**

"That is all?" Haldir asked her after she had taken him to a quiet place away from the March Warden station. "Nearly nine hundred orcs was the number from those who counted their dead and estimated those that fled. And we lost only four? Why do you not look as impressed as I, Maethriel?"

"I would like to have lost none!" she said.

"There may very well be more sacrificed before this ring is removed from our wood, but it is a good sign for our warriors that they have held so strong. The enemy thinks they know our limits, but those on the next shift are ready to ensure they are surprised… tell me, how is Rúmil?"

"He had an epiphany and is suddenly ready to live life to the full," she said.

"Do you mean what I think you mean?" he asked, breathless.

"I hope so because I am not getting any more specific."

His weighted expression was momentarily lifted with a smile. "Thank you for telling me," Haldir said. "This news is beyond what I have hoped in centuries of focus on his happiness. Perhaps I will now cease my lamenting that the events of my life have led to Legolas becoming the ultimate elven emissary."

"Are you jealous of his quest?" she asked.

"No, I would be a fool," he said. "But it did not escape me that had I focused on occupation instead of a family I might have been there for Gandalf. It is a sorry day for all of Middle Earth to lose access to such wisdom. I could not even listen to the lament last night and have been at this post since."

Incredulous, Dari could not help challenging her elf brother with jest. "Oh, yes I'm sure you could have taken on the Balrog that the gray wizard could not."

Haldir laughed and said, "Few would be so audacious to accuse me of such conceit, though many I'm sure have thought it. Truly, though, no, I am not so delusional." He began walking back to his post and added, "I have, however, read strategies on how to distract them so that others may flee and I have always imagined I might sacrifice myself for something greater in the world." His humor faded swiftly and his steps grew heavy and solemn. "There is still Lorien to protect and though my lady's ring has the final say as to who enters her wood, I will do what I can so that she need not use it and bring Sauron's eye upon us. It is his desire that we become desperate for power so that we might be tempted by his evil."

"Is there not more we could do than merely host this Fellowship?" Dari asked. "There are so few of them, surely we can spare some in our ranks to see them on their journey?"

"Our Lord and Lady are preparing gifts and supplies for them, but I have not been asked to assign an accompaniment of warriors. M'lord Celeborn insists the fewer their numbers the less likely they will be seen. And where they go, they need to remain hidden. But I agree with your sentiment; it feels entirely inadequate and emasculating to be relegated to stay home while hobbits face such ferocious dangers."

Something that Murial had said came to her; that the strongest egos among us often need the most tender encouragement. So before he sent her off Dari set out to do it, addressing him personally as he liked.

"Haldir, do you remember what you said to me when I was assigned to study with the secondary archers?"

"I put you in a place where you can do the most good, as I do all assignments."

"You also said that the support archers protect the front line warriors so that they might be useful for longer… in so doing we all work together to multiply one another's abilities."

He smiled warmly, anticipating her direction. "Yes?" he said.

"I saw last night that it was true; that they fought stronger and harder knowing we were behind them… I think you should know, that though you are the mightiest warrior in Middle Earth, because of your temperament, you also function as a support archer for those who go before you. Your tongue is a bow releases encouragement to us and training and you cut down the darkness of fear that surrounds us. Those who reside under your aim feel brave and competent. Even Legolas would likely not be where he was today if he had not been in such close relationship with an emissary who showed him friendship within adversity."

"Thank you," he said. He took an emotional breath and said, "I wish I had more time to tell you what that means to me, but I have…" He gestured to those waiting with messages and she nodded, leaving him to it.

**Part 4 ~ Elienne**

Elienne had not seen Haldir since the Fellowship had arrived, nor her sister or his brothers. Haldor had been back twice to sleep, and said his aunt was on her way soon.

Her real concern, despite all the danger the well trained guards were facing, was her daughter's vulnerable, inexperienced heart. Ordered to stay off the ground, she had lingered on the lower levels at first, whistling for Legolas' attention until she had given up gaining it. She had then spent the days gazing below to where he gathered with his Fellowship, only once glancing her way. She had waved intensely gaining only the slightest acknowledgment as the dwarf pointed at her and he had shook his head and looked away.

But then, while thinking on it, a surprising turn of events occurred. Lien entered their flet, light footed and energized. Her charmed smile glowed of joy and she attempted to retire without any exchange.

"Come here, little one," Elienne called. Her daughter was not one to disobey but Elienne would not fault her had her resistance been broken. Without meeting her mother's eyes, Lien approached, a smile still on her face. "Tell me where you have been," she said.

"On the lower levels again," she said. Then her eyes fluttered to Elienne's face and to the floor. "Though… I did take a few steps down toward the forest ground." Embarrassed she confessed, "I did not lay foot on it, though. I only mused on why I should be told not to do it... and decided I did not wish to lose father's trust."

"Your father made it clear…" Elienne started.

"Yes, I know, the _ring_!" Lien said, rolling her eyes. "I should understand, but I do not. It is a tiny trinket held by a tiny hobbit and I would not be tempted by it in the least!"

Elienne would not argue for the reasons her husband had given were beyond the evil in the Fellowship and more about the elf in it.

"So why so cheerful then?" Elienne asked. "Are you telling me you did not speak with Legolas? Did he not finally come to you to say goodbye?"

"He did not. However, Aunt Dari was not forbidden to speak to him and she took a message to my prince and delivered one back to me." She pointed toward the flet across the way and said, "She is sleeping now, but you may ask her if you do not believe me! I have never lied to you and I have not disobeyed now either."

"Of course you have not, come here."

Elienne put her mending away, moved her feet to the side and allowed her daughter to lay down on the lounge next to her.

"You're getting so big," she said lovingly.

"I'm thirty-four and almost as big as you," she said. "But Haldor is almost as big as Ada."

"He may end up bigger than your father, some day," she said. Lien laughed as if it wasn't possible. "My father was taller than Haldir, so it is very likely… he was thinner, though."

"Haldor will be taller and bigger than them both!" Lien said. "He will be as big as an ent!" Then, still thinking it was funny, she asked, "You did not even ask what our messages were! Do you want to know?"

"Only if you want to share," Elienne said, stroking her soft wavy hair.

"I told Aunt Dari to tell Legolas that I understood he must have a very good reason he could not ascend to visit, but that my heart will go with him wherever he is so he might not ever feel alone."

"That was very charitable, Lien, I'm sure it was well received."

"His return message was that he could not imagine having a better friend."

"That is such a sweet sentiment," Elienne said, attempting to hide her sadness for her daughter. From what she knew of Legolas, his careful intention was to lower expectations as gently as possible.

"I miss him, though," Lien said. "If I could have just given him one more embrace, one more kiss for a blessing…"

And then, her daughter broke, turning her face to Elienne's gown. She understood the tears, all measured with attempts to understand and believe in love where there was none. So many were her nights in Rivendell, trying to reconcile being sent away from her father.

"I came so close…" Lien said. "The temptation was so strong to disobey." She sat up and looked at her mother. "If he came home, if Ada was here I could convince him I know it! He would carry Legolas up here to see me if I asked him!"

It was almost too much to bear.

"What if Legolas did not come up because he did not want to mislead you on his affections? Has not Muriel spoken of being too anxious or obvious in pursuing love?"

"In pursuing, yes, but Legolas already loves me! All his gifts and kindness... our friendship is deeper than any other he has, he said so himself!"

"Perhaps he said friend because he mean, friend and nothing more."

Lien sighed and shook her head, looking away. Elienne directed her daughter to lay back down.

After she thought she was already asleep, Lien said dreamily, "Even if we remain friends, and only friends, I will never love him less. I will be his friend as you are... Do you think he knows that?"

"I imagine he does," Elienne said, allowing her daughter to sleep there all night.

**Part 5 ~ Haldir**

Donning the Prince with his pin and cloak and overseeing the packing of the boats was Haldir's charge in the last hours of the Fellowship's visit. During those moments he had spoken only words as necessary and as politely as he could. The thought of his daughter pining in the trees above and the encouragement of Dari's words to him finally inspired Haldir to break his silence and address Legolas directly, before it was too late.

"Prince," he said, respectfully. Legolas stopped in his tracks and turned slowly, meeting his eyes. "A word?" Legolas nodded and joined him around the large tree from the boats.

"Thank you for the generous gifts, the bow you commissioned is exquisite and the number of arrows provided here…"

"I haven't much time," Haldir interrupted. "Please reserve your appreciation for a moment so I may speak."

"Of course," he said.

"I have no authority over you; we are equals in every way. But if I may, as one who considers you of invaluable worth to everyone I hold dear; you _will_ survive this quest, do you understand me?"

Slowly a smile crept on Legolas lips as he whispered, "As far as it depends on me, I will."

Haldir did not let his humor dissuade him from his serious intent and continued.

"We have much to finish between us and I think you would agree that this is not the time or place; so I set it aside. I am your ally and your brother on this day and until the enemy is cast from our lands. When at last we can stand toe to toe without any other threats on us, we will settle our differences civilly and finally."

What had just been a small smile erupted into a larger grin and Legolas exclaimed, "My heart now has the lightness as if lifted by an eagle and I will carry those words with me as the greatest gift from Lorien."

He stepped forward for an embrace, but Haldir held up his hand. He had to try very hard not to give in the young charm. "Upon our next meeting I will welcome you as you decree."

"Understood," Legolas said and sprightly left him.

**Part 6 ~Elienne**

When Haldir did finally return, it was well after the Fellowship had left and he had taken multiple shifts on the border. His hair and clothes were damp from a dip in the river and there was a tended cut on his forearm. Lien made such a horrible fuss over him, putting to work all her charms to make him feel loved and insisting he let her look at the wound.

Having never seen her father injured before she was understandably horrified, but Haldir made light of it and drew out her smile.

"My flesh will heal by tomorrow, but look what the mindless beast did to my shirt!" He pulled down the sleeve again and revealed the gash there. "I shall need someone who loves me to mend it before I return to duty."

"Oh let it be me!" Lien begged and began trying to remove his jerkin to take it from him.

"Ha! My dear, no!" he said, holding her hands away. Then softly he said, "I trust you. You may mend it while it is on me. I should like to see your skill and have you near me rather than off working in a corner."

She excitedly went to fetch the thread and needles from where Orophin had just taken them for his mending.

Elienne took the moment and said, "Will you please speak to her of Legolas?"

"Why?" he asked with dark satisfaction. "She seems to have completely forgotten him."

"No, she has not. She is sensitive to you more than you know and will never bring up anything that would bring you distress. But I warn you, my love…" Elienne then whispered, as she heard their daughter returning over the bridge, "Be it slip of tongue or eavesdropping she will find out someday what happened. Would you not prefer to guide her heart in its conclusions on you?"

They both watched as Lien entered with the entire kit, carefully matching the thread to the right shade of gray. She lay his arm out like a surgeon, placed her hand within the fabric and looked up at his warm adoration.

Elienne continued to mend Haldor's second pair of ripped leggings but looked at her husband several times before he felt moved to speak.

"Your Greenleaf friend was very impressed with the bow and kit we gave him," he said. Lien nodded, blinking quickly without a word. Haldir glanced at Elienne and she could see he now understood his daughter's measured restraint on the topic. "Were you disappointed that you were not there at the presentation?"

"Yes," she said, but continued to work.

It took Haldir watching her careful stitches for several moments of silence before he tried again.

"Do you remember what I told you about the ring?" he asked.

"I understand," she said, sweetly trying to reassure him. "You love me and were protecting me from its evil; just as you protect the wood from unwanted invaders." She looked back down at her work and said, "No realm is as blessed as Lothlorien to have such a bold and brilliant march warden."

Haldir's smile was weak, and when she glanced at him, she intuited his hesitancy. "What's wrong?" she asked. When he gazed down she grew upset. "Nobody else has died, have they?"

"No, no!" he assured, "We lost only the eleven and the orc campaign has waned completely. We are very fortunate." She relaxed but her curiosity remained. He took a deep breath and said, "Do you know why Legolas did not ascend to visit?"

"Aunt Dari said his duty is with the Fellowship, that he swore to see them to the conclusion of their quest." She grinned and added, "He is most noble and loyal, just like you."

Elienne stopped her own work, covering her mouth as she watched her husband struggle. He did not want to lose that love and admiration, but worse, he did not want to hurt her.

"There is more, Lien," he said.

When her daughter's big blue eyes, so innocent and pure, blinked curiously, Elienne had a premonition that it might be the last time; that Liendriel's naivety was about to vanish from her youth.

"I was not happy when I saw you kissing him," he admitted. She nodded, her brow creased as if she had sensed it. "And I did not fell the tree early for anxiousness to create the weapon I gave him, but rather in anger that he would steal you from me before you were of age."

"But that is not what was happening!" she said.

"I know that now," he said. He steadied her trembling hands to stop her from sticking him with the sharp needle. "At the time, before I knew and before I took the ax to the tree… I accused him of mistreating you and as I could never abide that, I banished him from Lorien."

Elienne felt her heart breaking as she watched her daughter's eyes widen.

"Banish as in what is done to traitors and villains?" she asked. He nodded. "That is the reason he has not come to visit and the real reason he did not come to me?"

She dropped her needle and pulled back from his hands, searching his face. Haldir was clearly close to crumbling before her, but sat strong, taking her reaction like a warrior.

"Please, forgive me," he said.

"I will not!" Lien said and stood, stepping back from him. Haldir glanced at Elienne and when her daughter looked on her she demanded, "You led me to believe it was for lack of love that Legolas lingered below!"

"He sent word that you are a friend," Elienne attempted to explain. "That is indication that his feelings are limited, whatever orders he had been given."

"No," Lien said, shaking her head and looking back from one of them to the other. She gestured at her father and said, "Legolas values your vision of him as much as mine. You were his friend, his idol. He would never do anything against your will!"

"Time will tell his regard," Haldir said. "No suitor seriously in love could be kept away from his desire. And I have invited him back to make amends after this war."

"But what if that day never comes?" she asked. It was unlike Lien to think the worst; of anyone Elienne knew, her daughter was least likely to despair but in her doomed paradigm of her father, she too could not keep hope. "He has dedicated himself to a quest that may take his life. And you kept his best friend from wishing him well and seeking his intention!"

"I regret that my decision has wounded you," Haldir said. "But he left in good spirits because I did not withhold my encouragement. Whatever I have done wrong, I stand by the ruling that you are too young for such promises!"

Staring at him, a tear trickled down Lien's cheek. Elienne thought her daughter would run or burst into sobs, or at least give some strong emotional indication of her brokenness. Instead, she selected carefully the worst wounding reaction.

"I finally understand why everyone is so afraid of that ring," she said. Haldir was not expecting the words and cocked his head. "It doesn't matter how much love or glory or power someone might have; the most beautiful heart can still become jealous and want it all for himself."

"Lien…" he started and then choked.

"I should not have trusted you," she said. "Haldor has been right all along; you think more of yourself than you ever do of us."

Elienne felt need to speak at that. "Do not bring your brother's confidence into this conversation without his permission!"

Haldir glanced down, clearly being ripped apart by her accusations.

"Why not?" Lien demanded. "In my confusion, I trusted. And I kept silent, trying to love with grace when I was hurting with neglect. And what has it won me but betrayal and sorrow? I so desperately wanted your trust," she said to her father, "That I denied myself, all the while you were careless with my trust and denying me! And now I will be forever separated from my dearest friend!"

"You should wait until your heart mends before speaking another word, Lien," Elienne urged. "You cannot take it back once it is said."

"Yes you can," she said. "All you have to do is ask forgiveness, right Ada?"

Haldir covered his eyes and Elienne stood, instinctive to protect him, but also because she knew later Lien's regret would overwhelm her. "Go to you aunt," she said. "Seek comfort from someone neutral."

"No," Haldir said. "Let her speak."

"I have nothing left to say to you," Lien said. "I am going to bed. Your conspirator can finish sewing your shirt."

Elienne started to follow her and her daughter pulled the curtain closed in her face. She turned to Haldir and coming to his side, squatted down and said, "Daughter's forgive. It was a mistake, she will see that you love her..."

Placing a hand on hers, he said, "I know you mean well, my love, but I need to be left alone with my thoughts." When Elienne reached out in her spirit she saw him like stone and he met her eyes and said, "Long ago I endured worse words from a brother who was right about everything he said as well. I will weather my daughter's slights soberly. To do this, I need to measure them and let them cut away what is undesirable in my heart. I will not lose hope for her, but neither will I take her trustworthy observations lightly."

Elienne felt torn in two between them; loving them both so much and desperate to mend the rift. She had no words, but touched his spirit with warmth, melting a bit of the stone with her compassion.

He touched her face and said, "My dear Elienne, you see only my light and never my shadow." He leaned forward and kissed her and then stood. "I will not burden you with this side of me… I must go… I need solitude."

He tucked the needle into the fabric of his sleeve and said, "Someday I hope she will finish this..."

He headed for the door and once he left, Elienne saw the curtain pull back and her daughter peeked out, but only for a moment, as if to see if he was really gone.


	23. Helm's Deep I

**Part 1 ~ Rúmil - Feb 23**

Rúmil knew Maethriel was off duty, but entering their room at midday he did not expect her to be sleeping. There she lay, though, on her stomach, face buried in a pillow, her feet hanging off the edge of the bed. She was still in her tights and shirt, having not even bothered with a sleeping gown or the blankets.

Part of him wanted to let her be; she was training on top of her regular shift, trying to gain the strength she needed to be with him as a warrior. Reminded of that irresistible devotion to him, his desire to give her what she had so long craved overcame his compassion for her weariness. He undressed and put on the silk robe she had commissioned for him and sat beside her.

She woke, opened an eye and asked, "Is it tomorrow already?"

"You have another night yet to sleep off your exhaustion," he said with amusement. "But I hope you still have a little energy left for me."

Perceiving his intention, she asked with a whine, "Now?"

"Not unless you are inclined," he chuckled. "However, upon checking, so in conflict are our shifts that we cannot be together again for another month." He lay down facing her and said, "I am pleased to watch you sleep if you need rest first, but I must insist on your attention to my longings before we part."

She let her heavy lids fall and sighed with a smile. "I cannot sleep while you watch."

Disappointed, Rumil turned on his back and closed his eyes. He felt her moving around to get comfortable and it seemed to take her a while. He was waiting for her to settle before peeking, but before the chance came, she took his hand.

"Do not look," she said.

When she drew it upward, he felt pressed into his palm the softest of flesh. Swiftly a wave of realization and erotica overcame him. His mouth opened taking in a breath of surprise and he tried his best to keep his fluttering eyes closed.

He heard her snicker, enjoying his discomfort and he swallowed before gently searching with his thumb and finger for the tip of this soft orb. As if with a will of their own, his eyes began to open, but her hand was over them at once.

"Ah ah," she scolded and took herself away. She climbed on him, whispering with sweet breath over his mouth. "I told you not to look." And then she kissed him between phrases, "I do not want your past… spoiling our bond… if we succeed, we will experiment later." As she worked her soft lips over his, Rúmil felt unable to respond to the enjoyable sensations her weight and lips were sending through him. His stillness must have unnerved her, for she asked carefully, "That is unless you think you need the visual sense?"

"If you doubt my body is preparing, you might try to feel its response for yourself."

Rúmil smiled as he felt her hand run ever so slowly down his stomach, separating the opening of his robe and teasing her fingers between his legs. She did not merely verify his interest, but hummed her approval and began to kiss him in a similar rhythm as she stroked his desire to increase.

It was not long before he felt need to attempt to remove her leggings. She did not allow him to struggle blindly, but withdrew briefly only to welcome him immediately into her sanctuary. The agonizing mixture of painful need and intense pleasure was no match for the strength of his control so that despite the building forces claiming their ground in his senses, Rumil patiently focused on preparing his wife's experience. When in the darkness he heard her crying out, he could not abide being robbed of the vision of her visage in their moment of their bond. His lids lifted, exposing his eyes to her state of exuding ecstasy, her bare bosom and the beaming brilliance of her internal light; she was of such intense, unanticipated beauty that Rumil thought it was his heart exploding when their moment brought them together.

As he gasped, their gazes locked, passing all of her life to him just as his left into her. Her emotions as he witnessed them became intimately transparent as he now felt what she felt! All of it, her every fear, dream, love… he knew her now as the difference between having only been read a book to having lived it and written it down himself.

And the feedback of her love for him after understanding his long covered hurts and controlled passions made the moment more of magic than marriage.

She reached up for his neck and pulled him down to her, holding with arms and legs after he fell.

"My dear, sweet, elfling," she said, weeping in her joy and kissing his ear. "You do not have to hide anymore… not ever again."

It was exactly what he wanted and needed to hear and the words broke him into a release from the dungeon of fear and into the fields of everlasting hope finally fulfilled.

To her desperate needs, he then spoke, giving her peace: "I am yours," he said, "completely."

…

In the early dawn before day, Maethriel was gone before Rúmil even awoke. He knew she had early duty but had hoped she would at least say good bye. He put his hand where she had lay and could almost feel she was still there.

"_I am here_," she said in his mind. He mused at the difference from when they had touched in spirit before. She was inside of him, not just looking into his heart. He did not even need to respond, he knew she could feel him too. He lay back on his pillow, drinking in the closeness and bringing back the memory of witnessing her loveliness beyond imagination. He wanted to relive the moment in his mind over and over again, but the sound of banging on their door caught him by surprise.

"Aunt Dari," Haldor called. "It's time to go! And there is great news to be told!"

At once he put on his robe and went to tell his nephew she had gone; but as soon as he opened the door, the youth blurted out the news.

"Gandalf is not dead! Or, at least, he isn't anymore! He has been here for three days and… why aren't you dressed?"

Intrigued by the news, but indignant by the error, Rúmil pulled his long hair back behind his ear and lifted a brow at the taller elf.

"Uncle! I'm sorry, I… I thought you were Aunt Dari." The youth then studied Rúmil's eyes and his own grew large.

"You bonded!" Haldor said, breathless.

"Never mind that, how is Gandalf the Gray alive? Did he defeat or merely escape the Balrog?"

"Apparently he slew it and was rewarded with reincarnation. But he is no longer gray, Galadriel has dressed him in robes of white, at least that is what my mother said... she just came back from helping tend to him. Wait! If Dari is gone already, then I am really late!" As he left the flet he said, "Why did she not fetch me? We are on the same schedule…"

Rúmil knew. He could feel her amusement at his realizing her intention to avoid the scrutiny of their family for as long as possible. Haldir would be coming back from the border about now, checking in at his station and then off to train the front line initiatives. Of all of the reactions, his brother was going to be the most unbearable.

He supposed it was chivalry that made him decide to take on that burden himself before his wife had to endure his celebration in front of the squads.

"_Nonsense, you want to be the one to tell him,"_ she said to him. And he chuckled at the truth of it. No longer would he be able to mask or deny his true feeling. Being known was as frightening as it was exciting.

…

Haldir did not notice! His depression was more disappointing to Rúmil than being turned down for a change of schedule. He stopped walking away from the station and turned, watching in hurt and irritation as Haldir went over the duty rosters, his shoulders drooped as he murmured to himself. He had already sent everyone else off and had rudely asked Rúmil to give him space to think as he only had a short time here.

Remembering from Bronian's letter the caustic effect on a father when his own young turned against him, he opted for compassion rather than rebuke and marched back up to his brother.

"Perhaps I should speak the reason for my request: to spend more nights with my new wife."

Startling, Haldir took a moment now to examine Rúmil's eyes before he spoke. Instead of the exuberant exclamations he expected, Haldir softened and said simply, "Is it everything I said it would be?"

His brother's brokenness tore at him and Rúmil felt need to pry. "It is… but I must ask, what is this defeatism in your manner? It is unlike you to lead with lead in your boots."

"Lien found out about Legolas and has decided that what I have done is beyond earning her forgiveness. I cannot say I blame her."

"Can you think of no winning words in all of your vast vocabulary?"

"She must choose forgiveness as charity; any attempt by me to eek it from her would seem disingenuous."

When he went back to work, Rúmil suggested, "I will talk to her."

"No…" Haldir said and pointed a finger at him. "And if he finds out, do not speak to Haldor on my behalf either. They must wade through this wilderness of betrayal alone… and I must prepare for the war."

Unsatisfied, Rumil waited, trying to think of some encouragement.

Haldir sighed and put his hand on Rúmil's shoulder and said, "Regrettably I must still deny your request. You two are not the only new couple seeking special arrangements. Everyone is shifting as smoothly as seasons; we simply cannot afford to risk disorder with a schedule shuffle."

"I understand, of course," Rumil said. "And I am glad that your disposition is not about our odds in some battle we face." Haldir started to speak and Rumil went on definitively, "Check yourself, my brother; all of Lorien sponges their sense of the situation based on how your estimations seem."

"I do not need added pressure," Haldir warned. "I know the weight I carry."

"Need it or not, it is the way of this wood," he insisted. He waited for his brother to concede but he only shook his head and focused back on scratching ink onto message parchments. Trying again he asked, "What does Elienne…"

"Elienne, as you can imagine now that you understand the bond, is bearing this weight with me. It is not her fault but she has been drug into it." Angrily he said, "You will find the bond brings as much conflict as benefit. I do not just share my success with my wife, but my failures as well…" He choked up slightly and said, "It is not fair she should endure Lien's scorn on my behalf, but we two are seen as one by ourselves and others. Now please, let me be. I must put my personal life aside or worse will fall on all of us."

Rumil's thoughts on his brother's warning haunted him until, finding a quiet place to sit and digest; he realized he did not really care. His bondmate was stronger than he in all the ways he needed her to be. He felt for Elienne, though, and went, not to speak with her, but to be with her.

As he got up, he felt the approval from her sister and the love Maethriel felt for her mingle with his own, intensifying it for appreciation of what she saw in his brother's wife that he had missed.

…

When he arrived it was not as Haldir imagined; Lien was contently sewing some sort of doll as Elienne instructed her on the stitches.

"Wound stitches?" he asked, peering over their work on the back of a warrior elf whose armor had been stripped.

Lien announced proudly, "I have decided to become a surgeon as well as an artist." She looked up at him and he had forgotten there must come a time for these two to learn as well. She squinted at him and said, "Mother, look."

Elienne stood up from the fake injury and turned to him. She put her hand on her mouth and then said, "Oh finally!" and at once embraced him.

"It is a bond I see then!" Lien said and wrapped her arms around both of them. "You never make enough of a fuss about anything, uncle Rumil!"

"Why should I?" he asked, feeling the wind squeezed out of him by the two of them, "That is what my family is for, isn't it?"

When they let go he smirked at both of them and Lien said, "Look, he smiles just like her too!"

"He always did that," Elienne teased. "Is that why you've come?" she asked. "Or is there something else you need?"

"That announcement and… I just wanted to be around family," he said. Pleased, Lien jumped up and pulled a chair to her work on the table and Elienne welcomed him to sit. He watched with wonder at the delicate attention his niece paid to depth and pressure of her fine needle, sewing together the thick fabric of the doll's pretend skin.

"Mother says if I hurt the one I'm healing that I should pretend I did not hear him cry out," she said. "As a strong guard and warrior, do you agree, uncle? Murial would think it cruel not to show compassion as a healer."

"The pain of healing is good for us. It develops character to withstand the next wounds," he said. "Every good warrior knows this."

"Mother, is he talking in metaphors again, instead of answering my question?"

Rumil chuckled and before Elienne could give away his game he said, "I would have no problem with a bit of compassion so long as it was not patronizing. No one wants to be made to feel inferior for expressing discomfort."

Lien nodded, satisfied and Elienne did not argue.

Unable to help himself he added, "Emotional hurts go the deepest, though, and as they are the most difficult to heal so should the reactions to that pain be more nurtured than scorned, even if the injury came by one's own ignorance."

Elienne's eyes shifted to him, but Rumil kept his on his niece. She was not as naïve as she pretended and her hand began to tremble as she continued to sew. Then suddenly, after she made a slight mistake, she took the needle and stabbed it into the back of the doll's head.

Elienne startled and said, "Perhaps you should leave while I nurture the wounds here…"

"No," Lien said and took the needle out. She looked at him and said, "Uncle Rumil is right. I am just a terrible person because I cannot forgive when I know I should."

"It is not being terrible," he said, "It is as much temperament as it is maturity. And it merely takes some of us longer than others to walk the truth we know." Her watering eyes blinked and she wiped them and went back to the doll.

"I think I prefer to heal physical wounds right now," she said. "What should I do to fix it?"

"There is no healing for a spear to the back of the head," Elienne said. "I'm afraid this doll is done for. We should probably arrange a dirge to be written for him. I hope your brother will forgive you for killing his friend."

Lien looked at it, devastated at first and then checked her mom's jesting expression and let out a laugh. "I remember! Haldor stabbed my dolls!"

Rumil let out a laugh at the reminder and Lien seemed just as pleased by his laughter as the joke itself.

Elienne did show her how to repair the missed stich and he mused in his enriched enjoyment of their company as they continued.

**Part 2 ~Haldir – February 27**

Haldir sat at the foot of the bed where the reincarnated wizard lay. His glow was so bright it out shown the Lady who tended to him. Gandalf gazed at her with such a blissful smile that despite his own grief, Haldir was moved to adopt a provision of joy.

It had been a week since Lien last spoke to him and once she told Haldor, his son only paid him required respect. Apparently, Rúmil was not the only one who had noted his degraded performance of duty, for Celeborn had insisted he needed as much of Galadriel's attention as the resurrected Gandalf.

"He should start speaking soon," she said and ran her hand down the embroidery of his shining white cloak. His silky beard quivered with his chuckling and Galadriel turned to Haldir with eyes a twinkle. "Death is a new beginning, Haldir. So rarely are we gifted with experiencing that truth."

He nodded, thinking on his parents, Lamer and those they had recently lost protecting the wood.

Heavier, though, was the death of his closeness to his young. He knew not if there would be a new beginning with them. He looked down, closing his eyes to the scene. She stood and her approach warmed him so that when she sat beside him on the cushioned bench he could nearly feel her embrace though she did not touch him.

"_I see you,"_ she said in his mind. He looked and saw her blue eyes lacked any judgment at all. With words she said, "You think you are that dead, fallen tree, hollowed out and decaying under the weather of this world's sorrows."

Haldir always felt an elfling in her presence and at her piercing vision, resorted to the insecurity of youth. His trembling lips were unable to speak his answer, so he merely nodded and leaned forward with his hands on his knees and bowed his head, ashamed.

When her hand touched his back, he felt a pulse of energy flow through him, filling his chest and clearing his head. He opened his eyes and breathed more freely, his face losing tension and peace flowing over his head as if she had poured a pitcher of it on him.

"You once were a mighty tree, Haldir of Lorien," she began, "But what you have become is not that useless and discarded shell you despise. Rather, your heart has been carved free of the excess pride and pretense you never needed." He lifted his head, staring at the Wizard who was sitting up, observing with interest. "You are now an expertly designed and crafted weapon, a fearsome gift, given to us in love."

Haldir's eyes went blurry and he blinked thinking on the metaphor and his long distant vision.

"A promise was made to you in your youth," she went on. "You have concluded it was a dream; but it will come to pass."

When he turned to see her smirk at him, he started to regain his hope, not for the glory he had imagined for centuries, but to finally be of some use and to make some difference with that fire he had burning in his heart.

"Celeborn?" she said and gazed at Gandalf.

In an instant he was at the door as if waiting. He entered with dark concern and dampened the holy atmosphere into the mundane of courtly business.

"Several scouts have returned with disturbing reports." He sat down on the chair as Galadriel left them. "The son of Gondor's steward was found dead in a graveyard of Urak-hai. Only one of the boats we sent with the fellowship was set on the far shore… and the dwarf was spotted trudging heavily for Fanghorn presumed to be chasing after a remnant of Saruman's warriors. Another scout said he thought they were carrying hobbits, only two, neither Frodo. Whatever any of this means for certain, the fellowship was broken."

"What of Aragorn and Legolas?" Haldir asked with urgency.

"They are still hidden from our eyes but we might assume they either or both of them went with Frodo or the dwarf. Rest your heart, my Lady would feel it if they were gone from this world."

Haldir took it in and let out a heavy breath.

"Another tragedy came from further West where two other scouts saw from a long distance a battle in the Fords of Isen…" Celeborn hesitated and took measure of Haldir's expression as he said, "None seemed to have survived. One scout stayed to assess if their eyes were correct on that matter. And I am truly sorry, but… They thought a horse looked familiar among those that ran free… Sully is hard to miss, my friend."

Haldir looked up at Gandalf and tried to remind himself that, if it was true, Feldor's fate would not be suffering, but renewal. It did not ease him any.

"The worst report of all… Saruman has an army of the larger Urak-kai, eight thousand strong and growing, for he births them out of filth and hate. We know not for what use, and must prepare our borders for the worst."

"What of men?" Gandalf asked, surprising them.

Celeborn looked at him and said, "Gondor is busy with Mordor and the Rohirrim are not standing under orcs. I fear the worst for them. Aragorn is a worthy leader, but he may have gone into Mordor to protect the ring bearer. Denethor relied on Boromir and Theoden is under a spell by Saruman… I would not wish that foul force on our realm, but if it is an army meant for men, it will wipe them out. Of that I am certain."

"Not if I can help it," Gandalf said. The wizard threw off his blankets and walked out of the room.

Celeborn sat up, looked at Haldir and they both stood, following him. In the other room he was donning a kiss on Galadriel's cheek and she shown her smile on him before he left.

To them, she said, "It seems at least one of you has a plan."

"Should we send some guards with him?" Celeborn asked. "He's only just awoken."

"Gandalf the White can protect himself," she assured.

"I will assemble the warriors and inform them of this new threat we may face," Haldir said. "We will be ready should they march on us." Galadriel gazed to Celeborn and Haldir asked them, "What is your measure of our odds if we are assaulted from Moria, Isengard and Dol Guldur? With Nenya, we are strong enough, yes?"

With a shrug, Celeborn said, "If not, we will pass over out of this life into another." His lady looked away from him and Celeborn added, "I am not ready, though, so I will be rather annoyed with you if comes to that, Haldir."

He could not help but grin at the false lightness with which is lord addressed the situation, but waited for the true answer.

More seriously Celeborn said, "It will take no more than five hundred of your trained warriors to bring down Saruman's forces if they fought straight forward and mindlessly as we expect. They were not created with a will to live so there is no strategy to protect their own lives. It is sheer numbers which Saruman relies upon. Moria is all but depleted thanks to you, that threat can be handled with archers… Dol Guldur will be my concern. I will take the remainder of warriors that you do not opt to fight with you… If either or both of us fail, I'm sure m'lady will protect this wood without us."

Haldir glanced at her and saw that as heavy as this threat was, Celeborn was still having an effect on her.

Their numbers seemed dreadfully short to him, the could stop them with 500, but how many elves would survive? As Haldir left his lord and lady and began to descend, he accepted the strategy. He sent his beacons to the kitchens, healers and tent keepers to set up camp for them and give notice to the warriors and archers that whenever anyone was not on duty, they should assemble in the training fields; war was imminent.

**Part 3 ~ Feldor**

**February 28**

The sound of an elf horn blowing was muffled in Feldor's ear, but loud enough to wake him. Around his chest he felt an arm squeezing him tightly and the steady, comforting rock of a horse gallop clued him in to being carried.

He opened his eyes, but all he saw was blurry; though he was sure it was Sully he was on, there seemed to be two heads before him.

"Is that Feldor?" he heard a breathy voice ask. It wasn't in Rohirrim or Westron, it was as his people called it, 'elvish'. "Is he dead?"

"It is Feldor, Lord Haldir. And I believe a head injury has put him to sleep. For he breathes, but I could not stir him."

"Give him to me!" Haldir said. The elf carrying Feldor argued that he could ride him in more quickly, but the commanding voice he had grown to obey and then love shouted, "You will give him to me and ride in to report to Celeborn at once!"

Feldor felt himself passed from the horse down into thick arms which held him close as he took long strides, calling out commands to request a healer by arrow message.

As safe as he felt in the Haldir's hands and in the hold of this wood, the worry for Gwen and his children, unprotected, made him stir with the fear and dread of it.

"Shhh…." Haldir whispered in his ear. "We are almost there, my son."

**February 29**

When Feldor awoke, he saw around him a family he had thought had abandoned him. He blinked at Lien's height and maturity and gazing at the others but did not feel at ease. He did not belong here and they were not the ones that needed him.

Seeing his mentor he started to sit up and said, "Haldir, I cannot stay… Gwen and my children will be killed…" He began to choke and Elienne pushed lightly but with command.

"Haldor," she said to the tall elf he had been addressing, "Go fetch your father." He watched as the image of the Emissary left and Elienne said to him, "We will only keep you here so long as you need healing… if we sent you sooner you would be of no good anyway."

Feldor lay back holding his forehead for the pain in it and remembered suddenly the scores of giant orcs coming at them in the middle of the day. Everyone was struck by arrow or ax. He had watched while Eomund had been gutted and Sully had reared to block what might have been his own death blow. He fell off, into the water and that was all he remembered.

"Feldor!" Haldir said, entering the tent and coming to him, kneeling beside him. At once, Lien left and tried to bring Haldor with her, but he insisted on staying. Elienne stepped back as his former mentor began to speak. "Our scouts could not find Eomer or any of the riders to warn him of Saruman's army. Where would they be?"

"Army?" he asked. "There is that many of them?" Haldir nodded and Feldor forced himself to sit again. "Eomer rides with the Eastfold, they are further from here than a day. But you cannot warn them, if they saw a scout elf, even if he spoke their language, they would doubt him. There have been too many traitors from within and outside of our people they might even kill him if they suspected they were being misled. I would have to go or someone else they trust."

Haldir covered his mouth, not arguing at the truth of it.

"Where is this army heading?" he asked fearfully. "The Westfold riders have fallen, my home is not protected… my wife… she and my children… they are vulnerable… it is not like it is here, Haldir. They are alone." He could not help but let go a sob.

Haldir put his hand on him, and said, "Keep your hope, Feldor. They may yet be safe, for we have heard there are refugees heading for Helms Deep…"

"Will the riders go there as well as the people?" Haldor asked Feldor. His father looked over his shoulder at his son as if approving of the question, directing him forward. Haldor stepped up next to him.

"No, they will likely continue to ride the lands and protect the borders. Helms Deep is only for a last stand when our numbers are depleted."

"M'lord!" someone said from the door. "A message just shot through…"

He handed an arrow to Haldir who tore off the tie and unraveled it.

"King Theoden leads the people of Edoras to Helms Deep, but not with the riders …" He looked up at Elienne and said, "Legolas and Aragorn _were_ with the dwarf… those two little hobbits went alone into Mordor!"

"Theoden?" Feldor questioned. "If his mind had been made right he would not go to Helm's Deep, not unless he expected a war there!" Horrified he asked, "Why would Saruman send his army to the most protected hold when there are only families there?" His heart felt like it was breaking a thousand fold. "Only a coward would not fight men first!"

"That is the point," Haldir said. He gazed at his distraught son and asked, "What would be the dark strategy, Haldor? What would this accomplish?"

"It is the easiest path to victory," he answered. "Without a family to fight for, why would a warrior want to win?"

Feldor feared the truth of it and asked, "How many strong are they? Theodred used to tell me of stories where Helms Deep could hold off thousands with only a handful."

Haldir scrolled up the parchment and Elienne put her hand on his shoulder.

"They are ten thousand," he said.

"What are we going to do?" Haldor asked. After a moment of silence he asked again, "Father, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to speak with Galadriel," he said and stood. "We will need Elrond's counsel before taking on any endeavor to interfere in the lives of men."

**Part 4 ~ Liendriel March 2**

"Why aren't you going?" Lien asked her brother as gently as she could. She had seen him standing in the mists by the trees as the others armored up in the field. His gloomy mood matched the weather and he uncharacteristically did not help his fellow warriors as the others who were staying were.

"I was given an order," Haldor said in monotone.

"But everyone else was permitted to volunteer where they serve," she said, becoming irritated. "Why would you alone be told what to do?"

"The March Warden may explain himself if he wishes, but he is not obliged," he said. "If I had to guess, though, it is because I am his son, I am not ready and he fears I will die. If he knew I was there, he would not be able to fight as well for worry of me."

She looked out over the warriors gathering in lines of four; most were now pulling their hoods over their helmets and taking up their bows for the run across Rohan. It was a sight to see how they blended in and out of vision with their cloaks.

Celeborn and Lady Galadriel had already left them, but her mother was speaking with her aunt and uncles and Murial was chanting a low tune with other minstrels to the side. To see her teacher actually shed tears during a song was unusual; she had instructed Lien to give the task to another if emotions would ruin the melody.

Lien gazed up at her tall brother.

"It isn't fair," she said. "You are just as capable and stronger than most of them. I have watched you train and heard everyone say so. Why should you be penalized because father lacks faith in you?"

"He is right. I am not as experienced. Only 300 of the eldest elders volunteered."

"Not true! Aunt Dari is going and Feldor," she argued.

"It is his home and she is close friends with him," he said.

"So are you!" she said, loud enough now to gain the attention of some in the back of the line near them.

"She is of age,"Haldor said. "It is as simple as that, Lien."

But it did not seem so. She knew it was his greatest desire to fight alongside their father someday, and why not this day when it was looking to be his greatest day of glory. Perhaps he was afraid of his son stealing his glory. Perhaps it was jealousy again weighing his decisions.

Without consulting him, Lien let her fury drive her to march out into the field and down the ranks to the front where the large elf in a red cape stood consulting with Feldor on the path to take.

Many around grew quiet watching her and Feldor stopped speaking when he saw her waiting, arms crossed.

Her father turned to see who had disrupted his planning and when he saw her, she was nearly moved by his hopeful expression, but she held her ground.

"Why have you turned on Haldor now? He is very disappointed!" Feldor looked down and she said, gesturing to him, "You are allowing Feldor to go and he hasn't even trained as a warrior!"

"Your heart is a champion, my dear daughter, but this is not the right moment or battle to pick with me. My decision cannot and will not be altered. Haldor knows this."

She followed her father's eyes to where Haldor stood at the edge of the wood, his hands on his head, shaking it. Their father put his hand on his heart and Haldor let his drop to his side and then reflected it.

"You've embarrassed him," he said. "He needed no explanation."

"Well I do or I will have yet another complaint against you!" Her father tilted his head down and looked up at her sadly. Ignoring it, she said,"You always say it does no good to know the facts of what happens unless I also understand the_ why_ behind them. So tell me why! Why are you going to fend another realm and leave us unprotected and why if it is so important can Haldor not come with you when it is his greatest dream to fight by your side?"

Lien was well aware of the eyes of his warriors on them and knew her discourteous public confrontation would be the worst way to wage a winning campaign against her father; but earnestly, she did want to know. She hated this feeling of contempt for him and wanted everything to be right again; if only he would give her good reason!

She could see his emotions being tempered and guessed that he could not give in to her for some dark reason all of them knew.

"I know I do not deserve it," he said softly. "But I need you to trust me, Lien. When the battle is over, you will understand, or at least I hope you will."

"Trust you?" she asked, feeling the emotions rising. "How am I ever going to do that again?"

Her mother came to her side and the songs stopped. She looked over at Murial, who said, "Give your father a kiss, and send him off with your love. Whatever you feel now, later you will be glad you did your duty as a daughter."

"No!" Lien said, defying the greatest mentor of grace. She turned on him and said, "My heart is not false! I would rather be seen as selfish if I am selfish, than make all the world think that I am noble when I am not!"

"Legolas is there," Rúmil spoke. Her father looked at him irritated. "She needs to know how important this is if she is to send you off well."

Lien's heart fluttered at the news and she asked, "Why is he there, Ada? Is that why you are going?"

"See what you have done," he said to Rumil. "I must let her be angry with me, if she chooses. I will not manipulate her kindness." To his daughter he said, "Your uncle is correct. We go to fortify the defense of Feldor's family as well as to protect the life of our friend Legolas. Most importantly, by order of Elrond, we go to see that Aragorn who is the hope of men, has an opportunity to fulfill his potential in this world."

"And Haldor is not good enough for your elite army?"

Her father clenched his jaw and looked to Haldor. "Your brother knows his place and he has my respect for it." He turned on her and said, "I love you, Lien, but you disappoint me by this outburst. Whatever you may feel against me, ask yourself, are your feelings more important than encouraging those setting off to risk their lives? Is your complaint the last thing you want them to hear from you?"

Lien clenched her teeth. She had never spoken to her father this way before and so she did not know the shame of a lecture from him, especially not a harsh, public one full of cutting truth. She looked down and shook her head.

"I didn't think so, because I know you better than you realize," he said. "You are precious and your heart is a beautiful garden of spring eternal. Someday you will weed out this bitterness that I planted with my seeds of selfishness." She looked up at his sincere face and he added, "On that day, remember that your father loved you enough to speak the truth when he would have preferred to cater to your whims… I would do anything for a kiss from you; anything but bring your brother with me."

She wanted to be rid of the pain that instant, but could only turn away to look at poor Haldor. She glanced at her aunt and uncle, their eyes mirroring one another's pity for her. And she looked at Feldor, who seemed a stranger to her. She wondered if any of them were going to die, or any of the elders who stood there grieved by her performance.

"I wish you well, all of you," she said to them. Then to her father she said, "When you come home, I will greet you with a kiss and we will work out our differences."

Her father's eyes suddenly veiled as if his mind had traveled from them. She backed away at first, and then ran off into the misty woods, regret growing with each foot's fall.

**Part 5 ~Legolas March 3**

"That is no orc horn!"

The sound of the Lorien horn was unmistakable; Legolas had heard it dozens of times and upon seeing who it was greeting King Theoden he felt as if Vala Oromë himself had come to their rescue.

He could not descend the steps quickly enough and when Aragorn was done with his greeting, Legolas took his friend and foe at his word and grasped his shoulders, staring into his eyes with gratitude.

"I could kiss if you I wanted!" Legolas teased him bringing a daring glare from the March Warden. "But I will spare you today."

He stepped back, barely able to keep his eyes off of him as Haldir announced his pride in joining the men. When they turned in step, Legolas saw leading them was Feldor and scanning the elves he saw a strange sight among them, one alone smiled. It was a female smile and while his heart leapt at seeing Dari, he was doubly ecstatic to see beside her Rumil and that even from this distance he could discern the change.

"Legolas," Haldir said, "Who might I speak to of strategy?" He did not answer at first, waiting for Rumil's scarcely identifiable acknowledgement of him. "Legolas?"

"I'm sorry," he said, looking at Haldir, "I was giving my congratulations to the bride and groom." Haldir nodded approvingly and Legolas called out, "Aragorn!" His closeness to this great man became evident as the ranger immediately excused himself from Theoden and came at once. "How shall we best use my family?" Legolas asked.

"Theoden is grateful," Aragorn said, "But he might feel more comfortable with me leading the elves."

"I would be happy to serve as a secondary archer, if that is where I am needed," Haldir said.

Legolas thought at first it was a sarcastic jest, but upon seeing the sincerity of Haldir's heart, Legolas was filled with admiration.

"I think not!" Aragorn said.

…

It did not take long before the elven archers and warriors were headed up to their places on the wall with the secondary archers descending behind it. As Legolas and Gimli took their places, he saw Haldir walking through the ranks discussing strategy with Aragorn.

When they reached him, Haldir glanced up and put a hand up to Aragorn, asking for a moment. Aragorn agreed and moved on.

In Sindarin he said, "After the war, I hope you will continue a friendship with my family, especially my daughter. Lien is rightfully distraught that I did not permit her to see you off from Lorien."

"You are forgiven a thousand times," Legolas reassured. "And I hope you believe that never did I entertain more than friendship. Though very large, my love for Lien was entirely innocent."

"I know," Haldir said softly. "That is why I wanted to tell you, that if you ever are so inclined to entertain her affections for you, I would not stand in your way." Choking up slightly he added, "It is every father's highest hope that elf who steals his daughter's heart from him, might love her more than he does."

"That hardly seems possible!" Legolas said. "But I love you for finally believing in me!" He cared nothing for convention and leaned forward, kissing his friend's cheek. When he pulled away, Haldir was looking down in great sorrow.

"What is it?" Legolas asked.

"When I left, Lien was still angry and refused to kiss me farewell. If something happens, tell her what I told you, and remind her that I forgave her already?"

"I will," Legolas said. "But nothing is going to happen, and so you will tell her yourself!"

Around them the call to find their places was made and Haldir took a breath and went his way.

"What was all that nonsense about?" Gimli asked. "You might think you two were lovebirds the way you were carrying on."

Legolas laughed and said, "Someday, that may be my future father in law."

"Ah! The lass in the tree you called 'a lure to doom and death'?" he asked and when Legolas nodded, flushing at the temptation of her loveliness as she called to him, the dwarf gave a large burly laugh. "You're braver than I thought!"

**Part 6 ~ Liendriel**

Her first time out of the woods, even under a cloak, Lien found it much colder than she expected. She shivered as her small pony splashed through the first river. She had been full of defiant confidence when making the decision but doubt crept in when she reached to where she thought her Aunt's map said the wood Fanghorn should be and found nothing other than torn up ground and fallen trees.

She came from a brave family, though and would not become the one coward among them. The forest had to be here somewhere, and so she pressed her pony on.

After a long while, ahead of her in the dark shadows, she heard strange moans and eerie creaking. She stopped the tired horse to wait, part in fear of the unknown but more to watch behind them and listen for the sound of hooves. All was lonely; her brother had yet to come for her.

Perhaps she had miscalculated? Forty miles may seem further in the open air and darkness, and being alone always made time pass more slowly. So she decided to continue, as she had planned, to the wood next door to Lorien. Nudging the frightened mare forward she brought her to gallop until they finally came upon the trees . They were on her right as they should be, but she noted that their edge was not as thick as she expected from drawings in the annals, nor was it in a straight line configuration per the maps she had studied.

And here was the second river… or was it the first and the other a sudden spring that was not mapped? She let the horse drink, but was too nervous to jump off for her thirst.

The world seemed much larger than she imagined. Lien had always thought that without the trees of Lorien to obscure, the eyes of elves would be able to see across the plains. In her naiveté she believed she might even see the Helms Deep battle before her as well as her lovely wood behind her. Instead, here, far from both, she saw neither.

Legolas said he could sense the spaces around him and the presence of others near or far. It helped him know where to look, what was happening in the world, it made him curious and kept him from feeling alone.

Lien felt alone. She sensed no one and her choice of a dumb horse companion was of little comfort.

"What if Haldor is looking, but cannot find us?" she said. "Maybe my cloak is concealing us too well?"

Turning the horse around, she headed home. Her brother had run scouting along the river for Celeborn, but had not been as far as Fangorn. Perhaps her expectations on him were too high?

After riding a brief distance, she saw a shadow like a wall behind her and as she got closer she realized it was the noisy forest. She had been riding for much longer from it, though, and it should have been more directly to her left! Confused, she rode to the east to go around the trees, but there seemed to be a wall of trees in that direction as well!

Her pony was breathing heavily now, but when she slowed to give it rest, the creaking and moaning drew closer in every direction. Her mother had told her of the illusions of Darkwood and how even elves could lose direction. She wondered if this was tree trickery too.

Either way, she knew better than to enter Fanghorn, or in this case, to seemingly have Fanghorn engulf her, and so she drove the small horse to continue, South West now. When she reached the river again, she looked behind her and now knew the truth; if she could see them from here now, when she could not when she was hear earlier, the trees _were_ moving; haunting her steps.

"Leave me alone!" she wept and gently kicked her heels into the horse to cross the river. It was deep and the poor creature was frightened. It pushed on at her command, though, soaking her legs as it was nearly washed away. It took an eternity to cross, it seemed and they made it across just as the trees started to splash into the other bank.

"You must go!" she wept and it did, wheezing and at an unsteady gate. They were faster than the forest, but it caught up each time they rested. Finally, after what seemed hours, the poor mare gave way to exhaustion, slowed to a stop and fell to its knees, toppling her off of its back.

"Oh no," she said, feeling as bad for its life as fear for her own. The terror behind her continued to creep closer and when lightening in the sky lit up the scene, she shook with the thunder, feeling she could never outrun the angry trees. Her tears fell with the drops of rain and fearing for her life, Lien apologized and abandoned the poor pony. She ran on foot toward the lights far, far ahead. And as she did, she heard the horrid sound of a horn, not at all like those of her people. The war was beginning.

**Part 7 ~ Haldor**

Sully was ready to go as soon as he heard it was Lien they were chasing. But the wiser Sullendry refused, stomping, likely seeking Haldor's father or uncles. He told the steed of the war and that they were gone and then for persuasion read his sister's note so his father's ancient friend might understand the urgency of not turning the pursuit over to an elder.

"So you see," he argued. "She is doing this because she wanted to give me an excuse to leave the wood, so that I might join the fight and not get in trouble for it. Uncle Rumil is gone and I am the only other one who could convince her that this is madness and to return! Even Lord Celeborn would need to carry her back fighting. Do you want to risk that danger to someone who does not love her like we do?"

When the two sentient horses finally agreed, they three, he on Sullendry, took off to the border. The guards he encountered mentioned they had seen a scout leaving, but so many came and left that they had not questioned him who he was. They were not, however, going to let him go until Haldor said he would have to be shot to be kept back. Unwilling to lift an arrow to him, they let him pass and he sent Sully out ahead to hunt as he rode Sullendry, looking for the trail she had left.

She was to be waiting at Fanghorn, but it was not there. They continued toward the war until the terror of losing her was exasperated when out in the plains a hysterical Sully, whinnying and stomping, led him to the remains of a pony, strewn along the ground in a bloody streak of flesh, bones and bridal. He felt sick from his inner core, even though he saw no sign of his sister. How could she outrun such a danger to which her horse had succumbed?

"Haste!" he cried to Sullendry and the horse took off running straight ahead until they came across the massive moving forest. "Ride around!" he ordered, needlessly for Sully and Sullendry were really the ones in charge of this chase.

Author's Note: **I would like to ask again, please… consider giving me a review if you are enjoying this story at all? Let me know what you don't like too, I can take it!**


	24. Helm's Deep II  THE END

**AUTHORS NOTE: This is NOT the new chapter. I added it and moved it to chapter 9. I've been editing this story and didn't realize that if I moved it the link in your email would send you to the current chapter 24 and not the one I added. Sorry about any confusion. This chapter will eventually get edited, but I am less than half way through the process.**

**Part 1 ~Dari**

Dari kept her eyes up to where she knew Rúmil was standing, just a few warriors over from Haldir at the front of the wall. The ground shook with the stomping of their enemy and the air was full of their grunting and rattling armor. She had never seen a Urak-kai, but from Feldor's description, she was grateful she had fought so hard in the strength trials.

"Get ready!" Feldor called out to the elves. He was behind her, ordered by Haldir to spend his effort serving the secondary archers and being their eyes and ears for commands from above.

She shifted her gaze briefly to Aragorn and when his arm signal came with a muffled shout, they pulled back and released their first volley. At first they shot their arrows in rhythm, but quickly it became a decision on how fast you could and wanted to release.

Seeing a few of their own fall, dead, backward off the wall, the fear Dari had been avoiding began to creep into her heart.

"They are putting up ladders to breach the wall! Aim carefully to protect our warriors!" Feldor told them.

It was what they all knew to do, but hearing her friend give the direction reminded Dari that they were of one mind. She saw above it was the same; all the elves drew their swords together.

"_I love you_," she heard in her mind. She gave a return kiss in spirit and saved her arrows for those that would dare attack her husband.

The force of darkness seemed to pour over the wall with huge bodies brought down by the flashing of silver blades. As the night went on and more from each side fell, she lost sight of where Rúmil was in the madness. She shot arrow after arrow at the huge, monsters and watched as some disappeared out of sight to the ground on the other side of the wall, some toward them, their carcasses piling up along with the elves sacrificed here.

"_Where are you?"_ she cried in her mind.

"_Beside the noisy dwarf…"_

She laughed at his irritation and immediately found them and began shooting any who came over the edge.

"_Save some arrows for when I'm tired, Maethriel!"_ he said with humor.

"Did you see that?" Feldor asked her. "There in the drain!"

Dari glanced over and said, "It is thick metal, they could not get through even with a batting rod."

"I know, but, they aren't even trying... they are doing something else..." He then began to shout to them all, "Back up! Away from the wall!"

At first Dari didn't listen, she was looking up at Rúmil, but Feldor grabbed her arm and pulled her with him just as a great and sudden fire blew with a wind stronger than any she had ever witnessed. It came with a deafening roar, tearing apart the massive wall and sending pieces of it flying all about, down on them and their enemy.

**Part 2 ~ Rúmil **

"Wake up!" Rúmil heard, feeling his whole self being shaken. He split his eyes, his head aching, and saw his brother's commanding glare. "It is not over, on your feet!"

He was pulled up and took his stance, noticing fewer of their foes climbing over the wall, but when his awareness awoke, he realized why. He looked down to see their secondary archers, swords drawn, running out of the wall to fight.

Beside him, as Haldir killed three more, Rúmil heard him shout, "Maethriel should have passed strength weeks ago… but she didn't want to stop training!"

Rúmil lifted his sword and went closer to the where the wall was broken, picking off a few that came over the ladder there. He could not see her in the fight below and dare not distract her with a word in her mind. But as the enemy pushed them back, overwhelming their strength with numbers, his dread grew.

"I am going down," he called to Haldir, heading for the stairs.

His brother grabbed him by the chest armor and said, "We knew this was the end, we choose this."

He pulled away from him and ran, jumping three steps at a time and when he reached the bottom he heard Aragorn call out, "To the keep!"

All of the elves in his sight began to pull back, pushing against him as he was trying to move forward out into the field. He heard her, shouting at him as if he was a fool, _"Go in!"_

Before he turned, he heard Legolas shout, "Help me, brother!" He was trying to drag the kicking dwarf and Rúmil ran to take the other arm, picking him up running for the door to safety within the fortress.

Once there, he saw other elves coming in and heard someone shouting, "They are coming, shut the door! Barricade it!"

Legolas and the dwarf ran to the front entrance, and Rúmil stood among the few who had made it in. _"Where are you? Where are you?"_ he called.

There was no answer and when the doors shut and the heavy gate lock came down it echoed in his soul. He stared at it, unable to believe the depth of hollowness at the thought…

"_Are you gone?"_ he asked. He waited as the others around him were regrouping, nursing wounds and helping the men who were bleeding. His eyes fell to the floor and he asked on last time. _"Where are you?"_

"_I am with Haldir,"_ she said. He blinked and took in a breath of minuscule comfort and heard her say, "_He wants you to help with the healing; as little as you know, you are trained enough to make a difference._"

Obeying his brother, he put aside his worry and found Feldor was alreadt working. They continued, those they patched up heading back out to where they might fight more. After all were made stable and the elves counted their numbers as twenty five surviving out of three hundred, Feldor sat next to him.

"I was so glad to see you. I thought you fell with Haldir."

At those words, Rumil turned to him suddenly, his eyes studying his face for the truth of it. "There is no other keep above? No other place to which they could have run?"

"No," Feldor said. "You did not know?"

In his mind he heard her, _"There is no pain here. But there will be at home. Stay alive… they will need you."_

Rumil quaked with the knowledge of whom she meant; the two sweet innocents who had been shielded from this inevitable outcome.

**Part 3 ~ Lien**

Shivering in the cold rain, Lien had collapsed, too tired to go further, and still far from where she heard the thunderous clashing of war. She had no energy left to cry or even move when a horse came to her side, nuzzling her cheek.

"Go away," she whispered, frightened of being found. She knew she was safe in her cloak, but if someone saw this creature, they might become suspicious.

And then she heard, "Lien! Is that her, Sully? It is her!"

When the beautiful blond elf fell on his knees beside her she could barely see in the dark, but her hope spoke for her.

"Ada?" she asked. "You found me…"

"It's Haldor, Lien," came the reply and an arm went around her. As she was lifted he said. "Father is still fighting! You'll see him at home once he wins this war."

She started to struggle, for fear of what that meant. "I don't want to go home… There's a forest chasing me!" She pushed him away from her and he struggled, holding her tighter and tighter until she wriggled away and he dropped her with a thud.

"Stupid sprite!" he said as he grabbed her arm. "Do you want to die?"

Unable to answer for the fear and dread in her heart, she covered her face with her hands and leaned into him. "Take me to Ada," she said. "I want to go home with _him_…"

He held her for a moment and then said, "We are close enough that it almost makes sense to wait… but we will wait outside, I will not join, do you understand?" She nodded her head and he asked, "Can I lift you? I don't want you walking any further, you do not look well." Again she nodded and he picked her up.

He did not climb on either horse, but sent them both ahead to scout for danger and to find a place for them to hide. Feeling safe, Lien fell to sleep and only woke once he set her down. The vibrations from the ground mixed with the horrific sounds, like angry boars and a thousand tumbling trees.

Lien covered her ears and looked around to see they were in a crevice of huge boulders and there was the dull light of dawn. She started to speak, shouting so he might hear her, "Hal-"

He covered her mouth and whispered in her ear, "We are not alone. There are evil scouts all long this range. For now the horses are distracting them from us."

He began to move away and she grabbed his arm tightly, terrified to be left.

Again he came to her ear and said, "I am only going to see what noise it is that comes from the East, I heard it through the morning, rising with the sun." She did not let go and he permitted her to creep to the edge of the crevice with him.

Lien did not look, she kept her head buried in the back of her brother's gray cloak, cursing herself for being so bold and yet still hoping Haldor might still taste some glory before it was over.

Above them a voice snarled and he pushed her under the overhang. Another, higher pitched, nastier voice answered it, both sounding like they had venom in their throats; the worst tone of malice Lien had ever heard.

His face to hers, Haldir said, "They have spotted the reinforcements of Rohirrim riders, I must cut down the scouts before they give warning. If I do not return, you remain here until after all has gone quiet or there are men shouting in victory. If the other side should win, do not leave until the horses fetch you, do you understand?"

She reached out and squeezed his hand, nodding with a smile; but he did not return it.

**Part 4 ~ Haldor**

Sneaking out and around the boulder, he saw one orc running down the gorge toward the Urak-kai army Swiftly he unfastened his bow from beneath his cloak and shot him. The sound of the orc's cry alerted the others to his presence and Haldor stood against the rock, still.

"Elf arrow!" accused a scaly voice. "Lorien lard hides in the shadow like cowards!"

An orc jumped down right in front of Haldor and said, "I smell the stench, burning my nostrils like sulfur…"

He sliced off the head of the beast and four others jumped down, one so close to the crevice where Lien hid that he panicked and ran to tempt chase away from her safety. Their arrows missed him and he disappeared in his cloak against the far face of rock, bringing bellows of fury from them.

Taking a moment as they ran toward him, Haldor turned to the battle, hoping for a glimpse of his father's red cloak and imagining his long sword tearing apart the beastly creatures. Instead, his heart sank. The wall had crumbled and large black forms swarmed over every level of the place.

The orcs here were yelling to their commanders below and though he had lost all hope of any meaningful victory, Haldor knew this battle was about men, not elves. He could not let the riders of the mark, now nearly there, be given away.

Silently he sprang forth and struck the loudest of them, hitting him so hard that the creature flew through the air and against the rocks, bouncing off of them and tumbling down the ridge. The next he stuck through like a pig and then kicked him off his sword. He took out the full force of his fury on the two left, running towards them in a sudden burst so that in their surprise they were not ready.

He grabbed the sword of one with his left hand and knocked the others out with his forearm, toppling them over and rolling between them so that when he came to a standing position behind them he leaped to the side and struck, killing both of them at once.

Gazing up at the bright sun he could barely see for the light of it and he at once understood why the riders were slowing.

"They are going to blind them as they attack!" he said, overjoyed by the thought of the strategy. Grasping the two foes he'd slain he pulled them out of the way and then looked up in horror to see that over Lien's hiding place another orc was peering down, tilting his head in curiosity.

As he ran for where he had left his bow, the air filled with the fearful sound of a horn, so low and terrible that he thought at first it was another charge from the Urak-kai. It was enough to distract the orc eying his sister and he easily shot him. Thankfully the beast fell over the space where she hid and not into it, and Haldor relaxed, watching the amazing men on their steeds led by the resurrected white wizard.

He felt it must be over, and that carelessness cost him, for now three Urak-kai came at him, growling with spikes and axes.

Having no place left to hide, he ran out, away from his sister and drew them. He shot one with an arrow and it fell, but the second one knocked it out of the way with the spear and they two charged him. Haldor would not be stopped, though and drew another, hitting him this time so that he fell forward, tripping.

The horn again blew again as the one left standing tossed his spear. Haldor tumbled out of the way and jumped to his feet, burying his sword into the creature as it jumped upon him. He turned the heavy beast off of him and looked below to see bursting through the front doors of the castle, a kingly rider, followed by another man and then a friend; Legolas. He smiled, relieved in one instant, but devastated by pain in the next.

The thick black arrow went through his chest and knocked him backward. The pain alone was stunning, but more so the thought of what was going to happen next. He could feel from the ground that the riders were there now and he blinked up at the black faced creature, Feldor's arrow sticking out of his neck. He expecting he would die by the raised ax into his head, but Sullendry was there, rearing over him and distracted the monster long enough for an ornate, wooden spear to come flying through the air, striking him dead.

Haldor swallowed, feeling faint and struggling to breath. He blinked up at someone who was dressed as a man, but whose ear tip looked pointed in Haldor's blurred vision. As this person examined the wound, Haldor heard the shout of the riders and felt the ground trembling as their horses stormed ahead, in _surprise_ attack, as it should be.

**Part 5 ~Feldor**

Though he shared in the sentiment of the cheering and celebration of victory, Feldor could only offer a few smiling nods of solidarity to his friends among the men. Rumil would not leave the caverns, but Feldor could not stay away.

Since his first kill outside of Darkwood all those years ago, death had always been a bleak and dreary edge in his mind. He loathed causing it, he despised to think on it, and his worst moment alive was watching his brother succumb to it. Yet every day he witnessed that dark shadow steal a little bit of his wife from him. He'd asked her to stay inside with Rumil and their youngest children, not because he didn't want or didn't need her support, but because he did not want to look on her and be reminded of her passing as he dealt with this magnitude of grief.

Before Feldor arrived on the field, some of the men had already begun to sort the dead. The older Rohirrim especially were moved by the elves and were the most among the strong paying their respect. Many throughout the night after the retreat had expressed to him; they knew they would have been dead had he not brought his kind to them. There were also a few who had cursed elves in his presence, never knowing his origins. They now came to him and embraced him, praising those they had once loathed.

When he saw there were two lines of elves being laid next to one another, dead men laid between them like brothers, Feldor's heart warmed to the softening of his adopted people. He stepped through the bodies, looking for faces he knew and when he came to his dearest friend, he took a knee beside her.

Her thin hand, the one he had held so many times, did not hold his back. He remembered how Dari had been the first to volunteer, stepping forward before Haldir had even gotten out the entire invitation. His mentor had fallen silent, choking slightly and then continued on as Rumil and then Orophin stepped forward, followed by others he had known and others whom he had not.

"I was told I would find you here," Eomer said to him. "That is Maethriel, isn't it?" Feldor nodded, not even looking up. The great rider knelt down beside him and said, "My uncle has asked me to ride with him with Gandalf and a few others to confront Saruman… I would stay with you in if you but ask."

Feldor looked up. Eomer appeared much older than Feldor, but he still felt to him a son. "No, you should go with him. Theodred is gone, the king will look to you now." Eomer nodded, breathing out heavily.

Seeing Legolas among Theoden's men, he said, "Do not tell speak to him of how many elves we lost. Let him focus on his quest and face his grief when it is over."

Eomer nodded and after he stood and jogged off to his uncle, a voice called down for him from above on the wall. He set Dari's hand on her stomach and walked to the steps leading up. When he saw three men dragging a body with a red cape, he was filled with rage at their dishonor and shouted at them.

"Put him down!"

He ran up, two steps at a time and the men roughly dropped the body and backed up. He could not rebuke them, they were elders to him in their eyes; though he was older by half their age again.

"This elf was like a father to me," he explained. They nodded, now understanding.

"It was the commander, wasn't it?" a young boy asked. Excitedly, without the taint of death in his mind he went on. "We watched from above, my brother and I. We saw him kill more than five hundred before we had to go throw rocks… he was the most brilliant warrior of them all!"

"Yes he was," Feldor said. "And sword fighting wasn't even his greatest strength and talent."

"What was it then?" the boy asked, aghast. The interested men around crept up, curious.

"His heart to love kin was greater than his ability to kill enemies." The boy gazed on the face of the warrior with wonder as Feldor closed his mentor's eyes. He then braced himself, putting his arm under his shoulder and his other under his legs.

"Three of us could not lift him!" a man warned him.

Straining under the weight, made heavier by armor and death, Feldor would not bend to the pain and called out as he stood, holding tightly as he took each step, down the stairs with careful precision. By the time he made it fearfully to the bottom there were twenty or more watching. Seeing him struggle to pass, they rushed to clear a path, pulling the Urak-kai out of the way.

When he came to the line, he walked to the center of it and his muscles screamed at him for ordering them to move against their will. Then carefully and gently, as if it was his own child, Feldor set him down to nobly lay with the rest. Elves were happy to let their shells rot where they die, but Feldor had lived with men. He understood the respect paid to a body was about the feelings of those left living.

Haldir did not need this, but Feldor did.

The men around him went back to work, gathering the few remaining elves and piling up the Urak-kai for burning. They did not mind that Feldor lingered, allowing the sorrow to flow through him.

Feldor only looked up when a strong boy on a horse came riding up to him, speaking in Sindarin, "Ada! You are alive!" Feomund jumped from his horse, standing with the elf army laying between them. Then he spoke as one of the men. "Eomer told me before he left that you did not fall with Eomund! Are mother and the little ones inside and safe?"

"Yes," he said and stood. His son's smile filled his heart with renewed hope and joy and he thought that perhaps he could go on.

"I wanted to tell you," his son said, "There was elf on the ridge, he slew half a dozen scouts who would have blown our cover. He was pierced, and I tried to save him as you taught me, but he stopped moving before I had to leave him to fight."

"I don't know who that could have been," Feldor said. "But I will go with you…"

Before he took a step, there was another cry from the wall, this one of a woman who was pointing off into the field. She sounded terrified and someone else up there tried to calm her.

His son turned and spoke the words Feldor was thinking. "Is that spirit or flesh?"

The tiny glowing figure was carefully making way through the bloody masses, the crystals sparkling on her glimmering silver gown as only Feldor knew elves' work to do. Her hair was gold and bounced in long curls and she held her hands out, sleeves dripping from her wrists as she balanced, coming closer, light-footed and cautious.

His son turned to him for an answer when up on the bank Feldor noticed a horse, even from this distance he could see the stallion was grand and colored as he knew. If that was Sully, then the slain elf above and the young elf lady had to be… the twins.

Feldor felt the wind knock out of him and he turned to fetch their uncle only to see behind him Rumil was already walking through the broken wall. His helmet long since discarded, his eyes fixed on his niece and his face was cold stone, as from the days before they entered Darkwood.

"She doesn't know yet," the elder said as he stood next to Feldor.

"My son said he treated an elf on that ridge from where she came… if it is her brother…"

After a few moments Rumil whispered, "This tragedy may be too much for even _me_ to bear."

Feldor glanced at her and then down at her father. To his son he said, "Come, let us give them their privacy and watch from afar."

**Part 6 ~ Rumil**

"_You will not bear it alone_," Maethriel told him. _"We are here, we have not left."_ All night he had called to her and there had been only silence. He gazed down at Haldir and she said, _"He is here too."_

The men in the field kept their distance as Lien shied away from them. Behind her Sully and Sullendry were trudging, heavy hooved and hearted, like two protectors flanking her.

She jumped over bodies and balanced between others, magically managing to avoid any filth. When she was close enough to see Rumil, her expression evolved from urgency to fear. As she sped her journey toward him the light of the sun shown more directly on the bronze armor of those fallen, dazzling the field with its reflections like a river of liquid gold running with streaks of scarlet.

It caught her attention and Lien stopped for a moment, her hair flying forward with the force and bouncing back on her jeweled bosom. Blinking, she began to run, picking up the skirt of her dress and leaping like a gazelle and drawing the mesmerized stares from all observers.

When she reached the first line of elves, she was overtaken by their still faces. She gazed up at Rumil and he could not offer her any sympathy or words; she was not supposed to be here. She should not have to endure this agony; and neither should he! Too much was his loss already.

"_You are not alone,"_ he heard again, and he took a breath, waiting while Liendriel stepped through to where he stood, now not taking her eyes away from his.

Her stiff body was trembling as she approached, her face tight with torment and her big, beautiful eyes, pooled with tears. She stopped before him and allowed herself to bow her head to see who it was at his feet.

She stepped back and the sweet breath she took in was as the sound of a chilled winter breeze. She reached down to his brother with her petite fingers, stretching them out to him. Her mouth opened, but no words or sound escaped and as she gazed up at him Rumil saw in his niece's eyes the same emptiness he had seen in Maethriel's when she was struck by Gandalf.

She was falling out of this life…

He reached for her, taking her in his arms as he had when she was a babe. She was rigid and staring up at him with eyes eager for comfort. But he had no words to make the pain go away; of all he had endured and witnessed in this life, there was nothing he knew that could ever sooth this terror.

"_We are here,"_ Meathriel said. _"Haldir is right behind her…"_

To his niece he said the only comfort he could offer, "Go on, little one. Let go. Your Ada will catch you."

With his permission, her eyes dimmed and she went limp in his arms. Rumil fell to the ground with her, lay her next to his brother and bowed over them both with cries coming from so deep within that he felt they would split his heart.

**Part 7 ~ Lien**

At the sweet release of her sorrow, the dark gloom and gray gave way to brilliant golden light and the face of her pale uncle melted into a warm glow of features she recognized as the one who loved her beyond everything; and he was brighter than the sun without piercing her eyes!

"_Ada,"_ she said, but not aloud. He smiled, holding her and lifting her to him.

"_You choose me over life?"_ he asked as if it was silly and he was mock scolding her. _"And you as young as you are?"_

She could not help but laugh and threw her spirit arms around him. She felt his very essence as he embraced her in return.

"_Forgive me father, for all my cruel words and how horrid I was… I never stopped loving you and I never want to leave you again."_

She could feel him welcoming every word and felt his kiss on the side of her head as he snuggled her into his mighty chest and arms; larger in this world than she remembered in the other.

"_Look, Lien,"_ he said_. "I want to show you something."_ He had her hand and held it fast as he lifted her above the others gathered around. She looked down to see her uncle Orophin and his friends as well as her aunt Dari whose arms were around a dark figure.

"_See there,"_ her father said. _"Can you see that far off place and the lights there, glimmering like the moon reflecting in the river?"_

She nodded and said, _"What is that wonderful place?"_

"_It is a prison; guarded by despair. It is where both elves and men lay trapped beneath a curse of doom laid on them by Sauron after the last alliance of men and elves. Do you remember the stories?"_

"_Yes! I remember hating them, and feeling so sad… I feel no sadness now."_

"_You are above it here,"_ he said, _"We all are, but there is something we can still do for those who are not… do you want to be a hero with me?"_

"_Yes!"_ she said.

_"Then you must let me go and lead them to Valinor and the Halls of Mandos. For we have been granted the honor of setting them free!"_

"_What can I do to help?"_ she asked.

He looked down at her aunt and they descended to where she sat. Lien started to see her uncle unlike she had before. He was younger, somehow, his spirit bright and yet it was within a broken shell, like a wilted flower. Then, in his arms she saw herself, or who she used to be, dark and empty.

"_It is not your time," _her father said. _"The rest of us have met death by war, you left by choice. You do not have to accept it… you can go back…"_ She looked at him and he said, _"You can be a hero to your uncle, be there for him, do not make him feel the loss of your life as well as ours."_

His face was so beautiful that Lien did not want to leave, the joy was so complete, she did not want to let it go. She shook her head and he smiled at her.

"_I have given Legolas my permission to court you,"_ he said. _"I do not know that he will, but he knows I would have no other than he."_

The joy she thought she had felt before now sprung higher and brighter than ever imaginable and she kissed him on the cheeks, over and over again until he laughed. And as he lay her back down, laughing still as he let her go, she saw him standing tall, radiating in colors and beams of light from all around him as if he could light up all of Middle Earth and further still outshining the the stars.

**Part 8 ~ Rumil**

He wished he could go with her, but Rumil knew from the past death was not part of his permission from the Vala. He begged, one last time to Nienne for the strength, the will and the power to go one, to not lose the healing he had gained for the grief thrust upon him by evil and darkness.

At the end of his prayer, breath came into his niece, her eyes flew open and her color returned instantly. She looked up at him and he thought at first he was imagining it, but she smiled, brilliantly like a morning star and put her hand up to his face.

"I caught a tear," she said.

He gasped and squeezed her shoulders.

"Ada sent me back to you," she said. "I was naughty to leave, being so young."

He smiled, able to hear those words in his brother's voice. She sat up and looked at her father's corpse. "He doesn't look like that at all now," she said. "He's more beautiful that even the images of Glorfindel I've seen… and I know not what Galadriel looks like in her spirit, but he was brighter in his than she is on this earth. I hope she is not offended by me saying it."

"I think she won't be," Rumil said, still stunned. "It is good to have at least one of you back…"

"Oh?" she said.

"Haldor…" he said.

She raised her brows and said, "Oh! Haldor was not there." She looked up on the hill and said, "He must still be alive, we should fetch him!"

It seemed nothing to her at all, her sorrow had fled and she was back to the cheerful young sprite he knew from before she had ever begun to learn about the dark things of this world. She spoke with the horses and kissed them both before they selected Sullendry to ride.

Feldor took Sully and his son and a few others rode with them to the ridge with hope for one more survivor.

On the way Liendriel looked all around at the ugly beasts and was completely unaffected by them.

"I don't know why they try," she said. "Even if they kill us, we still win. Eru doesn't let evil taint the afterlife' he casts it into the abyss! We always learn such things but we don't live like we know it is true."

She looked up at him over her shoulder and said, "Really the only thing that can take us down is believing the lie that we can be taken down! It all makes sense to me now." She looked forward again and added, "Though I barely remember the feeling of it, I realize I too was ready to give up on love and give in to doubt. It is such a nasty trick that lie!"

She then gasped and said, "Uncle! The song of Eru! I understand it now, and why he allowed the darkness... life is like a melody that keeps the audience waiting and waiting, you know there must be more... we wait and it almost hurts that pain of waiting, and then finally, all the best songs stretch you eagerly to seek their resolving... and then they do! That is what we are witnessing! Anything for forces of darkness throw at us is simply turned to glorify Eru, like a song that he will always allow to be resolved!"

Rumil had no words to add to her wisdom and rode in silent approval, nodding with teary smiles whenever she checked back to his expression. When she fell silent, he leaned down and kissed her soft hair, the joy of her recovery filling him to resolution of all his loss.

...

When they reached the peak, there was no body that he could see until Lien jumped off and removed her cloak from over him. There Haldor lay, just as Feomund had claimed, lifeless and still. Lien paid that no mind, kissed his forehead and whispered to him while Rumil and Feldor looked at the work his son had done.

"I tried to do it as you said," he explained.

"It is good enough for an elf," Feldor acknowledged. "Though I wonder why he sleeps still."

"He is only tired," Lien said. "But he can hear us. Everything's going to be alright now," she admonished. "You are surrounded by family and love! And you got your wish! You fought in a battle with Ada, but I am sorry to say it is not his greatest battle, for that is yet to come. I cannot wait to tell you all about it but I will wait so that I might see your face light up with joy at my telling!"

….

Half a day later, Rumil watched his nephew lifted onto a wagon and was still moved beyond words at the countenance and mood of his niece.

"_She's right, there is no sorrow here,"_ he heard Maethriel confirm.

"_You have not left?"_ he asked. _"I thought you would go fight with Haldir. You certainly are worthy of such a glorious battle."_

"_I will not leave you," s_he said. _"Not until you are ready."_

"_I would not ask you to stay," _he said. _"The Halls of Mandos are of greater comfort than wandering this world as a spirit. Haldir is setting the others free, you should not be kept as a prisoner, chained to me."_

They traveled quite a distance without her responding and a touch of fear pricked his heart. _"Are you gone then?" _he finally had nerve to ask.

"_No,"_ she said_. "Don't you think I know when you're covering by now? You aren't ready; and you don't want me to go, you're just trying to be noble."_

He let out a laugh so that the others around him could hear and Lien turned to him from the wagon and asked, "What's so funny?"

"Your aunt Dari is haunting me with her humor," he said.

"She is as fond of and attached to you in the afterlife as she was here!" Lien announced. "Do you want to know what she looks like there?"

He did, but he was afraid to ask for the sadness of not seeing it with his own eyes.

"_Tell her yes,"_ he heard.

"She says I do," he told his niece. "But I'm not so sure."

Lien ginned and Feldor asked, "She's really speaking to you, isn't she? What is that like?"

"She spoke to me in spirit many times before, especially after we bonded. It is like when Lady Galadriel speaks to you… or like when you have a dream."

"I wonder why Lamer never spoke to me," he said more curious than sad.

"Because Lamer was not attached to anyone as much as his own senses," Lien announced. "He was great fun and I loved him, but I'm sure as soon as he saw a better life, he ran off to claim it." She looked at Rumil and said, "I am happy enough to know that such a life is there waiting, and I intend to bring a little bit of it with me wherever I go to remind those who forget where they are going."

Rumil smirked and said, "Tell me what she looks like!"

"It was hard to see exactly everything," she said. "Because she was sitting behind you, with her arms around you, her cheek against your cheek. And I had never seen her so happy in my life; as if she was about to melt into you and that was the only place she wanted to be… and she was beautiful too, but of course you know that."

Rumil chuckled and the image warmed his heart from the inside to the tips of ever part of him. After hearing it, from then on, whenever he thought of the image, he could almost feel his wife there.

**Part 9 ~ Feldor**

Rumil had taken Haldor and Lien along with his son and the other remnant of elves back to Lorien, much as Feldor had been taken nearly fifty years ago. His son insisted on being their guide and, in his mind, protector, but Feldor knew, Feomund also wanted to see Lorien, at least once. Feldor was not sure he would return, but it did not worry him either way. He wanted his son to understand where he came from and enjoy the richness of that culture, if only for a short season.

The way everything had turned out, Feldor was not worried anymore. Everything was as it should have been. Had he not been wounded or had he not fallen in love with Gwen and had a son whom he had taught how to tend wounds, Haldir's son would likely not have lived. He knew not if Haldir still would have fought and died in this war, but he guessed it would have come down to that in the end. Either way, there was no way around the circumstances as they had unfolded; in his mind, it was meant to be. Death, life, loss, it was just the way of this world. It was not a world elves were meant to be in, but that did not mean they could not enjoy it.

His wife had told them that regretfully their house and all of their possessions had burnt, but his family was alive, and he never felt so grateful for them. Eowyn and Eomer had invited them to stay in the Golden Hall in Eomund's quarters, and so they had gone ahead with the others with children who were misplaced. After the young ones were asleep, Gwen insisted he return to celebrate with the warriors. Feldor was tired, but having sent off his elven family, he needed the companionship of these men to feel like one of them again.

By the time the hobbits had sung, the dwarf had passed out and most of the women and surviving men had retired to their own forms of celebration, Feldor was ready to return to his wife.

"I'm not supposed to know," Legolas confronted him. "Eomer is a good man but a terrible liar."

Feldor had forgotten about that and now wondered if Legolas knew about Liendriel and Haldor as well. She had asked everyone not to tell him what she had seen; she wanted to be the one; to see the face of her prince as she explained it all. Feldor tried to make his way to the door, but Legolas went on and on about how impressed he was with Haldir coming and his sadness for Elienne, but belief that she would celebrate her husband's heroism more than grieve his death.

"Something tells me Haldir knew he was going to die, he was very defeatist at the end…" Legolas continued. "He even relinquished Liendriel to me, if I should, 'want to entertain her affections', is how he put it. I had never dared dwell on them before he said it, but now when I think of her, I feel myself warm and dizzy… What does that mean?"

"It means you should spend time with her and see if it increases or fades," he said and moved around the elf again.

"But…" Legolas said, coming after him. "I don't think she will be of mind to entertain any proposals after she learns of this tragedy. Her father was her life… she will be grieved beyond measure, I don't think I could take seeing her that way."

"Do not sell her short in your mind," Feldor said. "She may be stronger than you know."

"You do not understand the bond they shared," Legolas insisted, following him to the door unable to discern Feldor was trying to leave. "Fathers and daughters are very close, it is difficult for we elves to understand."

"I have a daughter," Feldor pointed out. "I think I understand."

"You do?" he asked. "Congratulations! When?"

"Nearly eight years ago," he said. "I also have two sons, and Gwen is five months pregnant with our fourth child."

"I am so incredibly happy for you… let us drink to it as men in this culture do!"

"No!" Feldor snapped.

"Why are you being so short with me?" Legolas asked.

"Because the more time I spend with men, the more I realize how slow and self-absorbed elves are."

Legolas paused, trying to make out if Feldor was being serious, and then he looked slightly hurt.

"Forgive me," Feldor said. "Men also tend to say what they feel bluntly and without weighing the injury… which is what leads to so many brawls among friends."

"I am glad you were honest," Legolas said. "I prefer it." Feldor began walking the last few steps toward the door and Legolas followed and asked, "Where are you going?"

Feldor stopped and turned around and said, "Unlike you, who can wait thousands of years to decide if you will or will not court the one you love, my wife may be gone from me in as few as fifty or sixty. And I do not mean it personally against you, but I would rather be with her while she sleeps than try to convince you as I did Rumil. Time can be short, even for elves that live forever."

Legolas grinned and said, "You have changed so much! You sound like an elder."

"Yes, well, you seem to me more immature than my seventeen year old son," Feldor snapped. And then, seeing that slight elvish brow wrinkle, Feldor found his grace again. "Good bye, my friend," he said more sweetly. "May your quest be a success. Aragorn is very blessed to have you… and Lien will be thrilled for any attention you decide to show her, I promise."

"Thank you for that," Legolas said. "I aspire to mature at least as much as you before it is over..."

Feldor felt his friend's desire to continue the good bye, so without answering, he waved and walked away, not bothered by the cold wind for the thought of where he was headed.

**10 ~ Elienne**

Sitting with Murial and Galadriel in their Lady's home, Elienne felt numb as they waited. She knew Haldir was gone, she felt him leave; she'd known he was going and had all but ordered him to go. It was his dream and his purpose; she was glad to have been part of his life for the short time they had before it came to fruition. But she had not expected to lose their children to the whims of an angry daughter.

"Do you feel them yet?" Galadriel asked her again.

She shook her head and gazed at the comforting beauty across from her. Murial took her hand and said nothing. Her friend's mourning for Haldir had been richer than expected, she had loved him very deeply; enough to let him go when she realized he did not love her as she wanted.

"I do," Galadriel said finally. "Haldor is wounded, but he lives and Lien…" She tilted her head with a smirk and then smiled. "You will have to see for yourself."

Elienne blinked at her, but believed her news was good. She breathed out a relief and Muriel squeezed her fingers.

"Go greet them!" Galadriel said with a wave. "They are entering the forest now."

…

As soon as Lien started to speak and the words poured from her, Elienne understood what Galadriel had meant. She listened with one ear as she tended to her dreary son and met glances with Rumil whose expression was distant at times, but peaceful.

Feldor's son gave a small account of what he had seen had happened to Haldor before he took to sleep in a tent set up for him. When they had Haldor settled in a healing bed, Lien finally calmed down and decided the only way she could express her visions properly was through painting and settled in a cot beside her brother.

Once her daughter was quiet, Elienne was finally able to coax a word or two from her son.

"Were you…" he started to ask, "hurting… when we were gone?"

"I am feeling grateful to have you home alive," she said. "Feomund told me you fought ferociously. I am so proud of you."

"We should not have gone…" he said. "We disobeyed…"

"You are forgiven, and it worked out for the best, it is better that your sister went where she did than if she were here regretting herself as she would have been," she said.

"I held on for you," he said.

Elienne kissed him and said, "Thank you, son. You are my treasure..."

Haldor found his peace and nodded off to sleep and she focused on Rumil.

"She's here, isn't she?" Elienne asked. "I can you see you're speaking with her in your mind."

"You can see that?" he asked. "Haldir had to move on, she doesn't want you to feel bad because she stayed with me."

"I know why he moved on," she said. "And I have many memories, and many letters, and I will see him again someday."

"Death doesn't bring you sorrow, does it?" he asked. Elienne looked down, and he added, "I noticed that when Lamer passed. It is nothing to be ashamed of, we all handle our feelings differently."

"I don't know that its shame as much as… wondering if my feelings are not as strong as they should be. Do you find me shallow?"

"I find your honesty, simplicity and consistency comforting," he said. "The only issue I ever had with you was the affect you had on my already too passionate brother!" Elienne laughed at the truth of it and he added, "Maethriel says she's glad we have each other for friends. Considering what our first meeting was like, it is rather ironic that we should be stuck with each other."

"True," Elienne said, remembering how awful it had been. "Is 'stuck' how you look at it, though?"

"Of course not," he said and looked down at Haldor. "Not any more than I feel stuck with these two beloveds."

The End

**Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who read, and made this story a favorite, and especially to my faithful reviewer, Bee. I know it was dark and full of turmoil, but I hope I gave enough of a happy ending to make up for that!**

**I plan to work on the transition between HeartSong and this one. The story won't change, though I might add a few details that I thought were missing and I may take out a few things that seemed to be unnecessary and made it too long. When that is done, I'll probably add another chapter to this book to announce it.**

**Also, I could go on to write more about Feldor, Haldor and of course a Liendriel and Legolas romance, but only if I thought there was interest…**


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